"We're so sorry for your loss."
Delphine looked up at her father's coworker. She couldn't remember her name.
"Thank you," was all she could say. She didn't cry. She couldn't cry at the funeral. Not in front of all these people.
She sat, staring at the flowers. There were so many flowers. Her mother hadn't even liked flowers. She felt as though she were in a daze, in a dream, that none of this was real.
She was about to start her master's program, and she thought her mother would be there. This was just the beginning of her life. The beginning of hers, and the end of someone else's. She didn't know what her father would do. He was so broken up, he could barely speak to her. It had happened so quickly, he barely got to say goodbye. Cancer. Advanced. Untreatable.
She felt bad having to go back to the states. She would stay a few weeks, make sure he was settled, but she needed to start school in the fall. She needed to push forward. It's what her mother would've wanted.
"Delphine," she heard her father say as she looked up.
"Papa," she responded. She wanted something, needed to feel a connection. He had been so distant since her mother had gotten sick.
He sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. "Je t'aime," he whispered. He pulled back, reaching into the front pocket of his suit, pulling out a small heart shaped locket. "Your mother wanted you to have this. It was given to her by her mother when she was very young and she's kept it all these years. It was very important to her."
Delphine's grandmother had passed away when her mother was a child. She looked at her father and nodded, taking the charm in her hands. She looked down at it. There was a piece missing off the back and it had no chain. She put it safely in her own pocket and gave her father another tight hug.
Delphine's eyes fluttered open as they adjusted to the sunlight pouring into her bedroom. There was always that one moment of stillness in the morning, before her memories flooded back, before she remembered everything. However, this morning was different. She remembered Cosima. She was there, lying next to her.
Delphine smiled, rolling toward her. Cosima was on her stomach, her arms over her head, under the pillow. She looked calm, peaceful, beautiful. Delphine felt a flutter in her chest. She noticed Cosima's face, without her glasses, looking so innocent. Delphine wanted to reach out and hold her, but she didn't want to wake her. She wanted to give Cosima as much peace as possible.
She got up, heading into the kitchen to brew some coffee and make breakfast. She felt lighter, like some part of the weight had been lifted from her chest. She hummed to herself while she cooked, catching herself doing it after a moment, and thinking about how she used to sing to herself all the time. But she hadn't done it for years. She shook her head, grinning.
She poured herself a cup of coffee, taking a second to breath in the aroma from the cup. She had learned to focus on the little things, spending so much time alone, she had begun to notice the simple pleasures.
She saw Cosima out of the corner of her eye, sauntering into the kitchen. She smiled immediately and watched Cosima's eyes light up when she saw her.
"Good morning," Delphine spoke, "Did you sleep ok?"
"Yes," Cosima answered, "My god, I think that was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time. Your bed is super comfy."
Delphine giggled. "Good. You want an omelette?"
"And you're making me breakfast? Gosh, you're gonna make me…" she paused and giggled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Hmm?"
She laughed again. "Nothing. Did you have fun last night? With my friends, I mean?"
"Oh, yes, they're very sweet. I like them a lot. Especially Sarah. She was kind to me and she seems to love you," Delphine responded.
"Yeah, Sarah's great. They're all great. I'm very lucky," Cosima remarked.
"Coffee?" Delphine asked.
"Yes, please," Cosima answered as Delphine handed her a freshly poured cup.
Delphine set to work, making a couple of omelettes while Cosima sat at the table, reading a magazine. Delphine chuckled at how normal this all seemed. It felt nice.
She set out the food and Cosima dug in immediately. "Mmm, thank you," she said, "So good."
Delphine smiled. "You're welcome. I like cooking for you."
Cosima grinned up at the blonde. "Did I like, pass out on you last night? I don't even really remember falling asleep. I was exhausted."
Delphine chuckled, taking a bite of her eggs. "It's fine. You were...adorable."
Cosima blushed as she sipped her coffee. "I had a really good time with you last night," Cosima stated in almost a whisper. "Especially when we were dancing. That felt really good."
"Yeah, it did," Delphine replied.
"Thank you for listening about Elise. I feel like you are the only person who understands so completely and it's nice," Cosima admitted.
"I know exactly what you mean," Delphine responded, grabbing Cosima's hand across the table.
Delphine saw Cosima close her eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.
"You ok?" Delphine asked.
Cosima opened her eyes again. "Yes," she smiled. "Just taking in this feeling."
Delphine raised her eyebrow.
"I'm not used to feeling this good," Cosima confessed. "So I need to remember what it feels like."
"Again, I know what you mean," Delphine agreed.
"Hey, so, I promised Scott I would come over and help him with this project he's working on, so I hate to cut this short, but I have to get going," Cosima stated.
Delphine felt a tinge of disappointment, unexpectedly. "Ok, no problem."
Delphine cleaned up as Cosima got changed back into her clothes from the previous night.
Before she left, she walked over to Delphine, pulling her into a hug. Delphine wrapped her arms around the small frame tightly as Cosima said, "Thank you."
"I'll see you at work tomorrow," Delphine called out as Cosima exited the apartment.
Delphine sat down in the kitchen chair for a moment. She couldn't believe these feelings she was having. These feelings were strong. They were deep. And she was proud of herself for allowing herself to feel them.
