Chapter 3
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
AN1: Thank you so much for the support. It means so much to me.
December 10th 2000
It has been months since Mike called Jessica Mom for the first time and after he did the first time he started to call her that on occasion and not long after he started to call her that all the time.
It's late on a Sunday night and Jessica is sitting on the floor in the living room using the coffee table as a desk while she works.
Even though he went to bed hours earlier Mike hasn't be able to fall asleep as he has had a lot on his mind, and because he can only think of one thing that will help Mike has made his way down to the living area where he knows his mom is.
"Mom." Mike says from the doorway.
"Mike, I thought you were asleep." Jessica says, sounding surprised.
"I couldn't sleep." Mike says as he walks over, "Can I talk to you?" he asks as he climbs over the side of the couch and sits down.
"Of course, you can always talk to me." Jessica tells Mike as she moves off the floor and back onto the couch where she sits next to her son, "Whatever it is." Jessica says as she has noticed that for the last day that Mike has barely left his room, something which he hasn't done since right after his parents died.
"I don't want you to be disappointed in me." Mike admits as he is pretty sure that Jessica won't be okay with at least part of what he has to tell her.
"Mike, I may be disappointed in your actions, or your choices, but I won't be disappointed in you." Jessica assures her son.
"You can't know that." Mike tells Jessica, as he avoids looking at her.
"Yes, I can, and I do." Jessica assures her son, being as comforting as possible, "Just talk to me, Mike, whatever it is."
"You know how I was staying at Trevor's last night?" Mike asks.
"Yes." Jessica says, beginning to suspect that she isn't going to like what Mike has to say as in recent months most things Mike does involving Trevor she doesn't like.
"Well, Trevor's parents went out for a few hours so Tess came over." Mike reveals.
"Okay." Jessica says, knowing that there are several ways this story can go and she isn't sure which way it will go.
"We tried some of his Dad's beer, I only drunk, some of one, I promise!" Mike quickly says.
"We'll talk about it once we talk about what it is that is really bothering you." Jessica tells her son, knowing him well enough to know that it isn't guilt over drinking less than a single beer that is causing him to be unable to sleep.
"We started playing truth or dare." Mike reveals, "After a few rounds Trevor dared Tess and I to kiss, but…." Mike starts to say, before trailing off.
"But what, Mike?" Jessica asks kindly, realising that her son truly is growing up as while he's never be a typical kid this is a big milestone.
"It was nice, I guess, but it didn't feel like how movies, or books, say a first kiss should feel." Mike admits, and then looking away from Jessica because he isn't sure how she is going to react to what he has to say next, "And I was disappointed that I wasn't kissing Trevor." Mike admits, looking down at the ground, and as he does Jessica reaches out and takes her son's hand.
"Mike, look at me." Jessica tells him and Mike hesitantly looks up at his mother, but instead of seeing judgement like he was terrified he would see he only sees support, "That's okay, Mike, there is nothing wrong with wanting to kiss Trevor." Jessica assures her son, "How long have you been feeling like that?"
"A few months, at first I didn't realise what I was feeling." Mike admits, "But then I thought about it more, and looked into it more, and Mom, I think I'm gay." He admits, looking at Jessica, looking slightly lost.
"I'm really proud of you for telling me that, Mike." Jessica tells his son, knowing that she has to tread carefully, as she doesn't want to say the wrong thing, "I love you, Mike." Jessica tells him.
"Am I wrong Mom?" Mike asks worried.
"No." Jessica responds without hesitation, "Mike, thinking that your gay, or being gay, isn't wrong, you're not wrong." Jessica tells her son, stressing the words "Mike, part of growing up is figuring out who you are, and being gay, liking men, may just be part of who you are, and that's okay." Jessica assures him.
"Really?" Mike asks.
"Really." Jessica assures him and Mike throws his arms around Jessica and hugs her tightly.
"I love you Mom."
"Love you too, Mike." Jessica says as she hugs her son, knowing that he is likely going to have a hard time, and face discrimination, but that she will do everything she can to help him, and teach him how to deal with such things, even if she wishes she didn't have to.
April 17th 2001
It has been a few months since Mike admitted to Jessica that he thinks he might be gay and since then he has become sure of that fact, though the only person who knows is Jessica, Mike hasn't even told Tess and Trevor yet.
It's early evening and Mike is home alone, Jessica not due to be home for a couple of hours, and even though he should be doing his homework Mike is looking through Jessica's office in an attempt to get an idea of what he should get her for her birthday, which is in eight days.
Searching through the office Mike finds a lot of paperwork, which he automatically memorises the contents of, even though he doesn't mean too, but no ideas of what he should get Jessica to for her birthday.
As he searches a document catches Mike's eyes and even though he knows he should he can't help but pick it up, and he starts to read; Jessica and Quentin's divorce papers. As he reads one thing becomes perfectly clear to Mike,
"He didn't tell her about Lisa." Mike says out loud, causing anger to rise up inside of him, as he always assumed that he did, "He lied." He realises and as he does he debates what to do, Mike's first instinct is that he should tell Jessica what he knows, but as quick as that idea comes to him he dismisses it as Jessica and Quentin haven't been together for years which means telling Jessica will just hurt her which is the last thing Mike wants, "I'll only tell her if it comes up." Mike decides as he puts the divorce papers back where he found them, "None of this helps me figure out a birthday present." He realises, then the idea comes to him, "Oh, I'm such an idiot!" Mike realises and so he picks up the desk phone and dials a number,
"Hello." A voice answers after a few rings.
"Hi Leah, it's Mike. I need your help." Mike admits.
"Of course I'll help you, Mike. That's what an aunts for, what do you need?" Leah asks and Mike explains that he needs help figuring out what to get Jessica for her birthday.
April 25th 2001
As Jessica gets up extremely early Mike set an alarm to make sure he was up even earlier so that he could arrange what he had planned.
Having been woken up the second his alarm went off Mike has gotten changed and headed downstairs. Once downstairs Mike put his present for Jessica on the kitchen bench and got started on cooking breakfast.
Knowing exactly what he has to do as he memorized instructions on how to Mike spends about half an hour cooking and just as he is about to finish Mike hears footsteps and he looks over to see Jessica walking in.
"Mike? Are you cooking breakfast?" Jessica asks, sounding surprised.
"Happy Birthday." Mike says with a smile.
"You made breakfast for my birthday?" Jessica says, feeling touched.
"Yep." Mike says with a smile, "It was Leah's idea." Mike reveals as he starts to serve it up.
"Of course it was." Jessica says as she sits down across from Mike.
"The present is for you too." Mike tells Jessica.
"You didn't have to get me a present to." Jessica tells her son.
"I wanted to." Mike admits, "I hope you like it." He says.
"I'm sure I will." Jessica says as she opens the present and inside she finds what looks like a scrap book. Opening the book she finds it full of pictures of her and Mike together, or just Mike, as well as items relating to times they've had together, "Mike this is incredible." She says, smiling at her son.
"Really, you like it?" Mike asks, sounding worried.
"I love it." Jessica says, climbing off the stool to walk around to her son, "I love you Mike."
"Love you too." Mike responds and Jessica hugs her son feeling that Mike just gave her a truly incredible gift.
October 20th 2001
It has been months since Jessica's birthday and ever since the events of September eleventh living in New York have become very different for everyone.
It is a Saturday afternoon and Mike is sitting with Trevor and Tess in Trevor's room, the three of them watching movies together.
"Do you want to try something?" Trevor asks, looking between Tess and Mike.
"Depends on what it is." Mike says, sounding uncertain.
"This." Trevor says, pulling a baggy out from under his pillow which several joints in it.
"That's what I'm talking about." Tess says with a grin, "Hand one over."
"Mike?" Trevor asks curious.
"I'm not sure, I don't think it's a good idea." Mike says, sounding uncertain.
"It's a great idea." Trevor tells him, "You'll like how it feels, trust me." He says and Mike still looks uncertain.
"Mike, just give it a try, if you don't like it you'll never hear either of us ask again." Tess says, giving Trevor a look which says, 'you will do as I say'
"Okay, I'll try it." Mike tells Tess and Trevor.
"Great, you're going to have some fun for once." Trevor says with a grin as he pulls the joins out of the bag as Tess grabs the lighter that is near her.
Twenty-five minutes later Tess, Trevor and Mike are all high and sitting around Trevor's bedroom, having turned off the movies and put on music. Trevor is sitting on his bed; Tess is sitting on the table while Mike is sitting on the floor leaning against the bed.
"This feels strange." Mike admits, looking around in amazement as he has never felt anything like this.
"But good, right?" Tess asks.
"Yeah." Mike says, looking around the room, "I can see music." He says, causing Tess to laugh.
"Told you it would be good." Trevor says with a smirk.
"We need food, and drink." Tess says.
"You know where the kitchen is." Trevor says.
"Right, I do." Tess says, getting up and heading downstairs.
"You okay, Michael?" Trevor asks moving sliding off his bed so that he is sitting next to Mike.
"I think so." Mike says, sounding uncertain, "I feel free. Like anything is possible." He admits.
"That tends to happen when you're high." Trevor tells him, "Everything feels so much better."
"Yeah…." Mike starts to say, but then, before he can think it though, before he can he can remind himself about how much of a bad idea it is he moves forward and kisses Trevor. For a couple of seconds it feels good, so much better than the kiss he exchanged with Tess, but the Trevor pushes him back, hard.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Trevor asks, sounding furious.
"I thought….I…. I'm sorry." Mike says, tears coming to his eyes and he quickly, falling more than once, gets to his feet and goes running out of the room.
As Mike runs down the stairs, he almost runs straight into Tess.
"Mike, what's wrong?" Tess asks concerned, becoming worried as Mike is crying and looking horrified.
"I got to go." Mike says, pushing himself past Tess and running out.
"MIKE." Tess calls but Mike just keeps running.
Honestly if asked Mike wouldn't be able to explain how he did it, but Mike manages to get home without a problem. Once Mike is safely home he closes and locks the door behind him, leaning against it as he takes several deep breaths, realising that the effects of the joint have started to wear off as he feels more normal than he did before, which isn't a good thing as the gravity of what he did is starting to drawn on him and he feels horror, and pain.
"I need a shower." Mike realises, "And wash my clothes." He says, pushing away from the door and heading to his room, knowing that he doesn't want to have to explain to Jessica what he had been doing.
Hours after Mike got home Jessica does, carrying dinner from a restaurant for the two of them. Even though she prefers to cook food for her and Mike Jessica has had a very long day at the firm and decided to pick up something instead of cooking
"MIKE, I'M HOME." Jessica calls as she heads into the kitchen.
Once Jessica gets to the kitchen and puts everything down she realises that she hasn't heard the sound of footsteps and so she heads towards the stairs, "MIKE?" Jessica calls and once more she doesn't get a response, which causes her to frown as Mike usually calls if he's staying at Trevor's.
Knowing that she has to find out what is going on Jessica makes her way upstairs and heads straight to Mikes room.
"Mike?" Jessica asks as she knocks on the door. At first she gets no response and she suspects that maybe he's not home but then she hears a sob and so she pushes the door open and she finds Mike lying on his bed, curled up in a ball, crying.
"Mike?" Jessica says worried, hurrying over to her son, "What happened?" Jessica asks worried as she gets to her son's side and sits down next to him, "Talk to me, Mike." Jessica says, looking over her son for a sign that he is hurt, but she doesn't see any, and that doesn't fill her with comfort.
"I screwed up, Mom." Mike says, rolling over to face Jessica, and pushing himself up, looking at his mother with tears rolling down his face and a look of pain on his face, "I…." Mike starts to say but then he just throws his arms around Jessica and hugs her, burring his head in her should.
"I've got you, Mike. Let it out." Jessica says as she holds her son, "It's okay, it will be okay." Jessica assures him as she rubs her hand on Mike's back in comfort.
Jessica isn't even sure how long she holds her son, and honestly she doesn't mind, but then Mike starts to calm down and eventually he pushes himself away from his mother.
"What happened?" Jessica asks Mike once he does.
"I kissed Trevor." Mike reveals, and Jessica tenses at that, having a pretty good idea about what happened, "And it felt good Mom, really good, but then he pushed me away, he was so angry and I ran." Mike reveals, becoming upset again, "I screwed everything up Mom! I've probably lost him forever and Tess will probably want nothing to do with me either! I ruined everything!" Mike says, becoming upset again.
"Oh Mike, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Jessica says, hugging her son, not sure what else to say as not only has her son gotten his heart broken for the first time, but he may have lost his two best friends, his only two friends.
"Nothing's ever going to be okay again!" Mike says, completely believing that.
"Mike, I want you to listen to me." Jessica says as they once more break apart, "One day you're going to meet someone and when you kiss him he's going to push you away, he's going to want to be with you." Jessica tells her son, "You're not going to feel like this forever." Jessica assures her son.
"It feels like it will." Mike admits.
"I know." Jessica tells her son, "But I promise it won't." Jessica assures him, "You're an incredible person Mike, anyone would be lucky to be with you."
"You're my Mom, you have to say that." Mike tells her.
"Doesn't mean it's not true." Jessica tells her son with a supportive smile.
"Mom, have I lost my only friends?" Mike asks worried.
"Honestly, I don't know." Jessica admits, "But I know that you're just going to have to take things one day at a time, and see what happened." Jessica says, being pretty sure that she has nothing more reassuring to say, which she hates.
"I wish I didn't do it." Mike tells Jessica.
"I get that." Jessica tells him, "But Mike, you've had feelings for Trevor for a while, would you still rather be wondering about what could be? Isn't it better that you know?" Jessica asks curious.
"Not knowing didn't hurt as much." Mike says sadly, "And I had hope." Mike says and Jessica just hugs her son, having no idea what else to say.
"I have dinner downstairs, are you hungry?" Jessica asks her son curious.
"Yeah, I guess." Mike responds and the two of them head downstairs, Jessica being determine to do whatever she has to do to help her son get through this heartbreak.
October 22nd 2001
It has been two days since Mike kissed Trevor while high and ever since he hasn't spoken to either Trevor or Tess, instead he spent Sunday at the firm with Jessica doing extra work and reading legal books, something which proved to be a great distraction.
Even though he is sure that Jessica would have let him stay home, or go into the firm, if he asked, Mike didn't want to avoid and so he decided to go to school, though he does intend to avoid Trevor.
As he has a free period first up Mike plans to hide in a part of the library that Trevor never goes to, but first he has to go to his locker to get some things.
"Mike." A voice says as Mike start to search through his locker.
"I can't talk, Tess. I have to get to class." Mike tells her, honestly wanting to avoid her as well, at least for a little while.
"No, you don't. You have a free." Tess says as Mike closes her locker, "And you're coming with me." She says reaching out and grabbing her arm.
"Tess…." Mike starts to object.
"Nope, no arguments." Tess says, pulling him down the corridor.
A few minutes later Tess and Mike, who is still being pulled by his friend, arrive at the bleaches.
"Sit." Tess tells Mike.
"Tess…." Mike starts to object.
"Sit." Tess says sternly and so Mike sits with a sigh, "What happened?" Tess asks kindly.
"What did Trevor tell you?" Mike asks curious.
"Nothing." Tess says as she sits down next to Mike, "But I can guess."
"I really don't think you can." Mike tells Tess, as he avoids looking at her.
"Let me guess, you decided to act on your feelings for Trevor, and he didn't react well." Tess guesses.
"How'd you know?" Mike asks, turning to look at her in shock.
"I know you, and I know Trevor." Tess says simply, "I'm sorry, Mike. I can't imagine how much you are hurting."
"I'm just trying to forget about it." Mike admits.
"I'm sorry, Mike." Tess says, reaching out and taking his hand.
"Like I said, I'm trying not to think about it." Mike says, pulling away, "I'm going to head to the library, I have work to do." Mike says standing up and starting to walk away.
"Mike." Tess says, causing Mike to turn around, "As far as I'm concerned you kissing Trevor, you liking guys, doesn't change anything. As far as I'm concerned you're still my friend, still the person I've known since you were seven." Tess says, having only spoken once she was sure that no one was close by.
"Thanks Tess." Mike says gratefully, before walking away.
November 6th 2001
It has been over two weeks since Mike kissed Trevor and ever since he hasn't said the two of them haven't said anything to each other, in fact they have both been doing their best to avoiding each other, something which Mike has been doing by either spending his free time with his grandmother or at the firm with Jessica.
Making his way into class, where there is going to be a big test, a test that Mike isn't at all worried about, Mike takes his seat, and just waits for the rest of his class. To Mike's complete shock, when Trevor walks in, he walks over and sits next to Mike.
"Hi." Trevor says to Mike.
"Hey." Mike responds, not overly sure what else to say.
"So, big test today." Trevor comments.
"Yeah." Mike says, feeling incredible awkward as he wonders what is going on.
"So, I've been busy lately and I haven't really had a chance to study." Trevor admits.
"You've got to be sitting me." Mike says angrily.
"Michael…." Trevor starts to say.
"No, we haven't said a word to each other in over two weeks, and now you're talking to me just so that I can help you cheat, think again." Mike says angrily, before getting up and moving to a chair far away from Trevor.
As usual Mike managed to complete the test first and because of that he was able to go straight to the library. Where he said for the rest of the period and didn't even move when the lunch bell rung.
"Michael." A voice says, seven minutes after the lunch bell rung.
"What do you want, Trevor?" Mike asks, not looking up from his book.
"I thought we should talk." Trevor says, honestly he would very much like to continue to avoid Mike, but if he does that then he'll have no chance of passing school, "About what happened."
"I thought our avoiding each other said everything." Mike comments.
"Not everything." Trevor says, sitting down across from Mike, "Look, I don't want to avoid you anymore. You're my best friend." Trevor tells him, "I'm not going to deny that what happened surprised me." He admits.
"I'd say it did more than surprise you." Mike mutters, having moved beyond anger at himself and moved over to anger at Trevor.
"Look Mike, I need some time to figure things out, figure out how I feel, but until then can't we just go back to how we used to be?" Trevor asks, "I miss you."
"I miss you too." Mike admits, telling the complete truth, "And yeah, I think we can do that." Mike says, not entirely sure whether he can be just friends with Trevor now that they kissed, but he's willing to try.
Hours later Mike, in a much better mood than he has been in a weeks are making himself comfortable on the couch in Jessica's office, her assistant having told Mike that she is at a meeting with someone from the DA's office and that she'll be back soon, and so he just sits on the couch and gets started on his homework.
Within half an hour Mike has finished his homework and has gone to the library to get some book, which he has been reading for about ten minutes when Jessica walks in.
"Hi Mom."
"Mike." Jessica greats as she puts up her jacket and heads over to her desk, "How was school?"
"Good." Mike says with a grin, "Trevor and I are friends again."
"Really?" Jessica asks, sounding a little surprised about that.
"Yep, he said he needs some time to figure out how he feels about everything but we're going back to how we used to be until then." Mike explains as Jessica walks over to her son after putting her stuff on her desk.
"Are you sure you're okay with that?" Jessica asks curious.
"Yeah, I think I can be." Mike answers, "Why were you at the DA's office?"
"I was checking in with Harvey, seeing how he's getting settled in." Jessica reveals, as Harvey only started at the DA office a few months ago, "And working a case."
"Okay." Mike says with a nod, knowing that Jessica can't talk about a case.
"So, I've got a lot of work to do before I can go home." Jessica admits, "I can call the car service to take you home if you'd like." She offers.
"Nah, I'll rather stay here." Mike admits, telling the complete truth.
"Okay, if you change your mind let me know." Jessica tells him, "I've got to go talk to Gordon, I'll be back soon." Jessica says before heading out of the room.
March 2nd 2002
It has been months since Mike and Trevor decided to try and move passed what happened and ever since then they haven't talked about it, but they have kissed a few more times, but only when they were high, and they don't talk about it later, even though Mike would like to Trevor clearly doesn't want to and Mike has, quiet reluctantly, not brought it up.
It's a Saturday morning and after sleeping in a while Mike has gotten up and headed downstairs, honest not expecting Jessica to be home, but to his surprise Jessica is sitting in the living room working.
"Mike, can you come in here." Jessica requests, and without a word Mike walks into the living room and climbs over the couch and sits next to her.
"What's going on?" Mike asks curious.
"It's your sixteenth birthday Monday, and I wanted to talk to you about an idea I have for one of your presents." Jessica tells Mike.
"I don't want to learn to drive." Mike says, without hesitation, knowing that that is what Jessica is about to suggests as it makes sense.
"Mike, I know that after what happened, what you went through it might scare you, but…." Jessica starts to say, not wanting Mike's fears to control him.
"I don't want to drive!" Mike says angrily, "I never want to be behind the wheel of a car." Mike says, "Please don't make me." Mike requests, sounding so much younger than he is.
"I won't." Jessica assures her son, "I just thought it might be something you'd like."
"It's not." Mike tells her.
"Okay." Jessica says with a nod, "If you change your mind all you have to do is tell me and I'll teach you." Jessica tells her son.
"I won't." Mike says, knowing that without hesitation and the two of them drift into silence.
"I'm going to go visit with Grammy today. Are you working from home all day or going into the office?" Mike asks curious, breaking the silence after a few moments.
I'm heading into the office later today." Jessica admits.
"Okay, I'll see you later." Mike says, "I'll probably head into the firm after visiting with Grammy, if that's okay."
"Of course it is." Jessica says, "I'll see you later." Jessica says, giving her son a hug and kissing his cheek before Mike gets up and heads upstairs.
September 9th 2002
True to his word Mike hasn't changed his mind about learning to drive, even though Trevor and Tess, both offered to teach him, he gave them the same answer he gave Jessica.
"Mike, it's time to wake up." Jessica says, shaking her son awake.
"Go away." Mike says annoyed, "I'm sleeping."
"No, you've got to get up. It's the first day of school." Jessica tells him, "It's your last first day of high school."
"Right it is." Mike says, looking slightly more awake.
"I'm getting breakfast ready and my driver is driving us." Jessica informs Mike.
"Schools in the opposite direction to the firm." Mike notes.
"Doesn't matter. I'll see you downstairs." Jessica tells her son before getting up and heading out of the room.
A while later Jessica and Mike, in Jessica's town car, arrive near Mike's school.
"Are coming to the firm after school?" Jessica asks her son.
"Yeah, probably. I'll call if things change." Mike responds.
"Okay. Have a good day." Jessica says, giving her son a hug, "I love you."
"Love you too, Mom." Mike responds returning the hug.
"Have a good day." Jessica tells him.
"I'm sure I will." Mike responds, "Bye." He says before getting out of the car.
After Mike gets out of the car Jessica watches him until she can't see him anymore before telling her driver to get going and she heads to the office, trying not to think about how odd it is going to be in a years' time when Mike is at college as she has no doubt that that is exactly where Mike is going to be, the only question is which college.
