I LIIIIIVE!

A proper honest to goodness chapter! This isn't where I was originally going to take things, but this idea popped into my head and needed to be written and I found a way to work it into the story so it worked out fantastically. I cut out what I originally planned for this chapter as I felt like it was just more filler, and last chapter kinda felt like that to me… so… yeah.

Anyways, enjoy!


It had been a long day. The first full one as a human no less! His body demanded rest but his mind wouldn't grant it to him. The Doctor lay in his bed and just stared at the ceiling contemplating his new existence. Being human wasn't exactly what he had imagined it to be. Sure, he'd been in this state before. But he was hardly himself and the TARDIS had provided for his material needs just like She always did since leaving Gallifrey.

Now if he needed something he actually had to go into a store and buy it! Well, he always liked a little shop in this incarnation. Or an alien marketplace. But that was besides the point. Buying things required money. And if you wanted to get money legitimately you needed a job. He sighed heavily. Getting a job wouldn't be that hard for him really. Pete had cornered him after dinner and practically begged him to come work at Torchwood. Which was unexpected seeing he was still sporting a black eye from earlier. (The Doctor did try and convince him to let him use the sonic to heal it to no avail…) His new persona as Johnathan Noble-Smith had a doctorate in quantum physics and astronomy attached to it so he could obtain a pretty lofty position within the organisation.

It was tempting. He almost accepted despite his distaste for the organisation. With his still mostly Time Lord brain he could change it for the better! Plus, he could probably acquire parts he needed for his new TARDIS.

But then he remembered the conversation he had with Rose and how she couldn't bear to work for Torchwood anymore. He felt with all his heart that he would be betraying her if he accepted this position.

Still, he wanted to build his new life around her and provide for her. He chuckled to himself. It was such a human thing to wish for. But that was his lot now. Mostly. If he was going to be part-human, he was going to do his best to make the species proud.

He already had what most humans would want: a home and a loving family. Jackie still scared him slightly but he had really warmed up to her over time. He even missed her a little when she was gone (not that he would ever admit it to her). He was starting to respect Pete even more. He could see himself becoming friends with him. Then there was Rose. He grinned to himself. He could write volumes of books based on his feelings towards his precious girl!

Finally, there was Tony. As soon as he returned from his shopping trip, the three-year-old ran up to him with a broad smile on his face that was identical to his big sisters and nearly knocked the Doctor over when he hugged his legs and he knew he had made an instant best friend! The toddler was slightly confused as to why he was wearing a leather coat when Rose explained he liked to wear suits now, but nonetheless he set himself upon the Doctor's knee and was completely enchanted with stories of travelling through time and space. Although many of them needed to be censored so as to not scar the little tyke for life and not have his mother slap him for putting Rose through such things.

With a satisfied sigh he closed his eyes and attempted sleep again. He was just starting to doze off when he thought he heard his name being called. He stilled his breathing and just listened.

Silence.

He rolled over and was about to just write it off as just his over active imagination playing tricks on him when he clearly heard a terrified voice call out again.

Doctor!

At the sound of Rose's voice, he threw his covers off, grabbed the sonic off his bedside table and ran into the hallway to her room. His body moved on automatic, just as it always did when she was in trouble. He only stopped when he was standing just inside her door, sonic raised and ready to fend off any attacker. The room was empty save for Rose writhing around in her bed, whimpering and opening her mouth with near silent screams.

Immediately recognising that she was in the grips of a terrible nightmare, the Doctor surged forward again and nearly got knocked out by one of Rose's flailing arms. He reached out and swept away some of her hair that was stuck to her sweaty forehead.

"Rose. Rose! Wake up."

Another silent scream.

Acting on instinct, he gently placed his fingers on her temples and reached out with his mind. He barely got past her surface thoughts and was nearly consumed by the terror just radiating off of her. He tried sending her waves of calm, but this seemed to increase her fear even more.

'Hush, Love. I'm here. It's alright. Please Rose. Please wake up.'

'No. Doctor? It can't be. No. No!'

"NO!" Rose screamed and shoved the Doctor away with all her might. He was knocked off balance and he landed flat on his backside with an unmanly yelp. Rose stared at him for a long moment, and he stared back. Both confused and a bit hurt.

Then reality crashed back down on her. Rose leapt out bed and threw her arms around a thoroughly confused Doctor still sitting awkwardly on her bedroom floor.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?!" He gasped still completely confused. Rose held him tighter and buried her face in his neck as she rubbed circles into his back. He shifted so he could properly hug her back. "Bloody hell, Rose! You're the one having the nightmare and you're comforting me?"

"Shouldn't have lashed out. I must've scared you half to death." She muttered. That was his Rose. Always putting the feelings of others before her own.

"You were scared half to death." He countered, "Scared of me. Why?" She pulled away from him and stood up. He stood up as well and watched as she paced the room a couple of times, wringing her hands and trying to smooth her sleep tousled hair, all the while not looking at him.

"You died." She finally said, sitting at the edge of her bed.

"Just in your dream." He replied as he sat down next to her and took her hand in his.

"No. You were dead." He could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Look at me." He requested softly. She shook her head. He gently placed his fingers under her chin. "Please, Love?" She finally relented and he could see the raw pain in her eyes. "I'm right here. And I'm so alive. It was only a dream." He gently took her hands and gathered them on his chest so she could feel his single heart beating steadily in his chest.

"But it wasn't." She insisted looking away again and burying her face in her hands. "It was real."

"Rose, I think I would remember dying. It's happened to me enough times." He chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

"Not funny!" She glared at him.

"Sorry…" He looked properly ashamed of himself. "But how could it be real?" She opened her mouth and shut it again trying to gather her words and trying to separate the dream from the real memories.

"It's just too hard to talk about it." Rose grabbed his hand and brought it up to her face. "Can I just show you instead? I think it would be easier."

He stared at her for several seconds, completely blind sided by the absolute trust she put in him. He already entered her mind without permission, nearly sending her into a panic attack and now she was requesting the contact? He nodded wordlessly and brought his feet up under himself so he was sitting cross-legged on her bed and motioned for her to do the same. She faced him and he brought his hands up to frame her face.

"Ready?" She drew in a shaky breath and nodded. He gently pressed his fingers to her temples. "Focus on the memory. Anything you don't want me to see, just imagine a door and close it. I promise I won't look." She nodded again. But the Doctor didn't encounter any mental doors slamming into his face as the memory presented itself.

The Doctor saw everything through Rose's eyes.

He saw the Racnoss ship get shot down by tanks above London.

He saw Donna walking around looking bewildered at was going on. Wait. Wasn't she with him? Wasn't this her wedding day? What was she doing there?

He heard Rose asking frantically what the UNIT soldiers found and Donna's reply that the man she was looking for was apparently dead.

He saw the grim face of the Brigadier as Rose was brought into the Tower of London to identify his body before they cremated it.

He heard Rose's screams of anguish as she saw that it was indeed him laying there in the morgue – dead before he had the chance to regenerate – and poor Allister doing his best to console her.

The Doctor severed the connection immediately. He saw enough. He pulled Rose into his arms and just held her as she was once again overwrought by grief.

"Trickster's Brigade." He stated as Rose's tears subsided. She looked up at him confused. "They created a parallel world around Donna, changing something in her timestream. They somehow managed to create a world where I never met her. But when everything was put to rights she couldn't remember what happened. Well, except a stunningly beautiful blonde woman telling her to tell me the words 'Bad Wolf'." He tried a grin but she just buried her face into his shoulder. "You fixed it, didn't you?" He felt her shake her head.

"I basically had to convince Donna to kill herself. I killed her too. I killed her just to get back to you." The Doctor pulled back so he could look her in the eye.

"Rose listen: If you hadn't done that, everyone in multiple universes would have died. Everything in creation would just be… gone!"

"But I…" He stopped her words with a tender kiss and held her close.

"Sometimes, my love, the only choices we have are bad ones. But we still have to choose. You took up my mantle when I was…" He swallowed down the next word, unwilling to speak it aloud. "…and you did what you had to do for the sake of the multiverse."

"I missed you so much. I lost you too many times already."

"And you found me again. And this time I'm not leaving you behind."

They sat there holding each other for what seemed like hours, neither wanting to let go. Both giving and receiving the comfort they both desperately craved. Then, Rose yawned loudly and the Doctor chuckled.

"I think it's bedtime for the human." He invoked an old joke he was fond of telling long before he first regenerated on her. Finally, Rose cracked a smile and giggled herself, especially when he yawned as well.

"Make that bedtime for the humans."

"Oi. Still half Time Lord." She grinned at his outrage. He stood up to leave, but then she reached out and desperately grabbed his hand.

"Please don't go." He looked down at her. The raw fear still evident in her eyes. "I don't wanna be alone." He stood there for a long moment weighing his options. On the one hand he didn't want to be alone either, but on the other he was almost guaranteed a Jackie Tyler Slap™! Finally, he nodded and Rose got back under her covers and moved over so there was room for him.

"Jackie's gonna murder me…" he muttered as he climbed in after her. He lay on his back and let Rose rest her head on his chest, his arm around her shoulders and hers holding him around his middle. He closed his eyes, wholly content; Rose's steady breathing lulling him to sleep.