I yawned as I walked through the lone street with no companion beside me. I could have asked Haruno but… well, you already know why I wouldn't do that. Now the question appears… Why am I outside? Why am I walking? Where am I going?

To answer your question, I am going to the nearby convenience store. Why? Because the author wants me to bump into someone and the store seemed to be the right place for tha-

*THUD* A thudding sound could be heard as I bumped into a certain someone. Resulting in the certain someone falling to the ground.

"W-Wha… You alright?" I asked as I shoved my hand forward and downward to get her up. But all I got in return was a very intimidating glare.

She had long blonde hair. A mask that seemed to have fallen from her face, revealing it. A big jacket with a hoodie covering her body. I probably wouldn't even have found out that it's a girl if her mask hadn't slipped off.

Wait a minute… I know this chick! She's the blondie that always hangs around Hayama. Not to mention the service she gives to him by scaring off all the girls in the school. What was her name again…?

As I was busy with my thoughts, the blondie got up and started to gather the stuff that were scattered on the ground. I crouched down and started helping her. I grabbed the magazine that she dropped because of me.

Time started to run slow as I took the front page of the magazine into my notice. There was a picture of a guy on the front page. His naked body tied to a chair as a brunette woman stood next to him with whip in her. Large, Large red scars covered the man's entire body.

I was just about to look inside but suddenly a hand appeared on top of the magazine and grabbed it. With a swift pull, the magazine disappeared from my sight and into the chick's bag.

*Gulp* Her eyes met with mine as I gulped in fear. The intensity of the glare sky rocketed.

"Looks like you just saw something you shouldn't have." A very sinister voice made it's way to my ears.

Scary! So Scary! Run Hachiman! Run!

"Ahahaha… I'llGoNow!" I quickly said as I proceeded to run away from the scene.

W-What the heck was up with that girl… But man… Her fantasies are terrifying.


I raised my hand and put my palm on the door handle. I applied force to my palm, moving my hand to the left. Sliding the door to the club room open.

"Yo." I said as I stepped inside. A human was already present in the room. Needless to say, my greeting was directed towards her.

Her eyes clashed with mine. Her eyes widened in response. Her hands moved towards her bag as fast as they could. A phone appeared out of nowhere as she clutched onto it with both of her hand. she quickly dialed something and called someone.

Yeah… This again…?

"Moshi Moshi, Ministry of Defense? There's a suspicious looking person in m-"

"Oi! YOU'RE SKIPPING THE POLICE AND HEADING STRAIGHT TO THE MINISTRY NOW!?"

"A-Ah… Hikigaya-kun. Forgive me, I thought it was some petty criminal."

"H-Hoh… Keep this up and you'll probably turn me into one."

"Moshi Moshi, CIA?"

"YOU'RE GOING TO THE AMERICANS NOW!?"

"Yahallo~" And in comes Yuigahama. You're always here to save my day aren't you?

"A-Ah… Hello Yuigahama-san."

"Yo."

"A-re…? Hikki, Yukinon, what are you guys talking about?" Yuigahama asked as she inspected the atmosphere of the room.

"I was just about to report a future criminal. And you might want to come here, Yuigahama-san. That thing over there is quite the repulsive one." Yukinoshita said with a straight face.

"Oye, Oye, you can't just report someone who hasn't even committed a crime you know." I said

"Tch… I truly fear for your victims. But don't worry. As a proud citizen, I am going to make sure that a criminal like you gets the place you deserve." Yukinoshita said with her arms crossed.

"Like I Just Said! I am not going to become a criminal!"

"D-Don't worry Hikki! I'll wait for you to get out of jail!" Yuigahama said

"Huh!? Ah C'Mon! not you too! A-And wait a minute… What do you mean by wait for you?" I asked while looking at Yuigahama.

"E-Eh? U-Uh… Umm… Eh-To… Eh… Hikki you B-BAKA!" Yuigahama shouted as she ran away.

"What just happened?" I mumbled to myself

"You really are just as low as your grades." Yukinon said with a nod.

"Oi! I didn't even do anything! And grades don't define a person."

"That's where you're wrong. Grades are what define a person." She said as she then took her usual seat and her usual tea.

"That is some twisted definition."

"Not nearly as twisted as you."


"Come on brat, do this for me." Sensei said as she clasped her palms together in an apologetic motion.

"No Way!" I declined

"Hmm… How about this… If you do it, then I will marry you." She said with a wink at the end. Seriously… Is this how a teacher is supposed to act?

"No Thank Yo- Gahgh!" I felt a very painful sensation in my stomach area as Sensei punched a whole even Saitama himself couldn't.

"Huh!? It almost felt like you said… 'I don't want to get married to an old woman'" She said with a sinister.

H-heh!? When did I ever say that!? Well… Technically you would kinda be an old la- GAHGh!

"I didn't even say anything this time!" I shouted at the teacher. Good thing no one's here.

"If you don't want to do it then fine. I'll force you to do it! And if you still don't do it then I'm gonna tell every single student that you fu-"

"STAAAHP! I'll DO It! I'll DO it! Just Stop!"

"Fu Fu… good choice."

And now… here I stood in front of the girl's locker room with a broom in my hand.

Such misfortune…

I cleaned almost everything single trace of dirt I could find and was about to head out. The entire room was shining to say the least. Including the lockers as well. Come to think of it… These belong to the girls… The girls… I wonder wha-

*Slip*

*CRANK*

*THUD*

Ah… shit…

I opened my eyes but was unable to see anything due to intense darkness. I also felt something soft touching my eyes. I raised my hand and grabbed the soft clothing.

Light enveloped my eyes as a flashy pink underwear became visible to me. The underwear being in my hand made the situation really, really bad. I was now sitting on the shining ground with the underwear in my hand and an open locker in front of me. I must have opened it accidentally while falling.

*CliCK*

H-heh!? What was that!?

No one saw me right!?

I better get out of here before anyone decides to drop by and spank my ass to kingdom come.

Don't worry, Hachiman. You're not a pervert. You know that.


I got outside the school. The weather wasn't all that bad today. In fact it was perfect. It didn't have that warm feeling nor did it have any cold ones. It was just Chiba on its finest.

"Over here, Hacchan!" A very annoying voice penetrated my ear.

"Yo." I said as the source of the annoying voice got close.

"Let's walk home together." Hayama suggested

"Huh? What happened to your friends? They not in the mood to walk you home or something?" I said as I started walking away.

"Oh, no. I asked them to go ahead." He said with his usual smile as he started walking beside me.

"Ahahahaha…" Hayama laughed for no apparent reason. Probably to dissolve the awkwardness created by silence.

"An idiot's sense of humor at its best, I see."

"H-Hey! L-Let me go. P-Please!" A child-like voice was heard as we walked down the road.

"Hoh!? You want this? Come and get it… If you can that is." Another child like voice could be heard, coming from the same direction.

"Hacchan, let's go." Hayama said as he dragged me to the middle of the park, where the voices were coming from.

"Oye, Oye! Why are you dragging me for!?" I have a very good idea what it is and I don't wanna get involved.

As we entered the scene, we found three elementary school boys standing in front of two girls with probably the same age. The three boys could be seen with two handbags that they were playing around with. Sometimes giving laughing at the girls for no reason.

"Hey!" Hayama yelled as he approached them.

"Huh? Who's that guy?" One of the three boys said while looking at the blonde highschooler.

The two girls instantly ran towards Hayama for protection. Does this guy have a girl magnet on him or something?

The two girls huffed continuously as Hayama crouched down to be on their eye level.

"Calm down you two…" Hayama said to the two girls, in order to calm them down.

"Waaaaah! Uwahghhh!" Soon enough the two girls started to cry their eyeballs out, simultaneously.

"E-Eh… Uh… U-Umm… Girls, calm d-down." Hayam said as he started patting the girls heads in order to calm them down. I almost pity this guy… Almost…

"T-Those… Boys… T-They… UwaaaAah!"

"Huh? Those tiny idiots over there? Well, stop crying already. Don't worry. We're here now. It's fine now." I said without looking at the two kids.

*Thud* A thudding sound echoed as the two kids suddenly started clinging to my legs.

"O-Oye! Don't cling to me!"

"A-A-Arigatou! O-Ojii-San!" Both of the girls said as they continued to cry like kids.

HEH!? O-Ojii-san?!

"O-Oi! Who do you think you're calling Ojii-San!?"

"PfPffPfft….. Ojii-San… Pfftt" Hayama tried his best to not chuckle.

"Hoh? Did I just… Hear you laughing…? Hayama?"

"Eeeya, Eeeya, Eeeya! Pfft Of course not! Pfftt"

"Uwwaaahh! O-Ojii-San's s-scawry…!" The girls said as they ran towards the blonde prince.

Oi! Where did all the gratefulness GO!?

"O-Obaa-San! H-Help u-us!"

"H-Huh…? O-Obaa-S-San…?" Hayama mumbled with a ridiculous look formed on his face.

"Pfft… Pfft… Pfft… BWahhhaahaaha! OBAA-SAN?! SHE CALLED YOU OBAA-SAN! BWahahha!" I started laughing with my ass on the ground. Tears about to escape my eyes, due to intense laughter.

"H-HEY! At Least Try To Not Laugh!" Hayama shouted

"You two have some nerve, ignoring us. What now? You planning on ganging up on us with a few highschool punks?" A very sinister voice came from in front of us. The voice enough to make the two kids to cling to us.

I turned my head towards Hayama and Hayama turned his head towards me. We both next eyed our opponent in front of us.

"They're tiny." I said to Hayama while looking at the elementary school brats in front of us.

"Y-Yeah, they kinda are, I guess." Hayama said with a sheepish voice.

"HUH!? Who Do You Think You're Calling TINY, You Old Man!?"

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING OLD, YA DUMB BRAT?" Me and Hayama said simultaneously.

"U-Uwa… Scary… high Schoolers are scary!" One of the three brats said while quivering.


"So, What's the problem?" I asked. My arms rested on top of each other. I stood in a pose, which said 'get ready for you punishment'

"T-They took our bags away from us!" One of the two girls said.

I turned my head towards the three mischievous brats. Idiot bullies… I walked towards them and then stopped right in front of them.

"Hmm… YOU'VE GOT SOME NERVE YOU DUMB BRAT! APOLOGIZE THIS INSTANT!" I Yelled… It feels good…

"Un… Ung… Umn…. UWAAAA! UWAGH!"

S-Shit…

"A-Ah! Calm down! Calm down! H-Hacchan don't be so harsh… why don't you let me try for now?" Hayama said as he came to the rescue.

"What? Oh… Sure. Whatever." I said as I walked away.

"UWAAAAHH! UWAAAHH~~!"

"Hey kids. Listen… You shouldn't do stuff like this. What would your parents think if they found out about this? Come on… Hand over the bags and just a little apology should do it. Then we can all be friends." Hayama said while shining brightly. The kids also stopped crying.

"W-Well… *Snif* If you're gonna say it like that… Then Lick my shoes and beg for it!" The brat said with a sinister smile at the end.

"…IMMA KILL YOU! YOU LITTLE SH-"

"HEEH! CONTROL, Hayama, CONTROL! DON'T BREAK CHARACTER!" I shouted as I restrained an enraged Hayama.


"Ranta! I think they are looking down on us! Let's teach them a lesson." One of the brats said

"You're right. Get your weapons ready!" Another one of the brats said as they all pulled out baseball bats out of nowhere. Heh!? Where did they pull that bat out of? Bullies are getting scarier nowadays.

Looks like there is no other way.

"H-Hey Hey… Why don't we all settle d-" Hayama tried to settle the tension but I cut him off.

"Don't Hayama. If a fight is all they want. Then we'll give them that fight." I said as I started unbuttoning my shirt. And threw my blazer away to the side.

"Uh? Hacchan, what are you doing?"

I kept silent and made a kung fu pose while showing off my abs.

"E-Eh… Obaa-san, Ojii-san is being like really creepy!"

"Ku ku ku… Come, you little brats! Show me what me what you got!" I hissed

"Y-You…!" One of the brats ran forward with his plastic bat.

*THUD* His plastic bat fell right on my naked back.

"UGH-Ahhh~!" I let out a moan.

"Eh!? What was that!?" One of the brats exclaimed.

"TAKE THIS!" Another brat yelled as he also swung his bat up high in order to hit me.

*THUD*

"UNgh! AH~!" I let out another moan.

"Wh-Wha… D-Did he just let out a moan…?"

"N-No way… He's t-that kind of guy…" One of the brats shivered.

"Ah~! What happened!? More! Gimme more! MORE! YAAAHOOO~!" I said as I started running towards them as they started running away from me.

"Run! Ranta! This guy's t-trouble!"

Heheh… Just as expected… this always works.

I returned to the scene with both bags hanging by my shoulder. A winner's smirk formed on my face. The others welcomed me with a baffled look.

"Here." I said as I handed out the bags.

"Y-Yeah… I don't think I even want that bag anymore, Ojii-san."

"Y-Yeah, me neither."

"That was incredibly gross, Hacchan."

"HUH!? What Do You Mean You Don't Want Them!? And What Do You Mean Gross!?"


Hehe... Something fishy seems to be cooking. Wonder what that is. Well, Do show me some love guys, by leaving a review. Thats what gets me motivated to ejaculate... err... Eject... new chapters... that jokes getting old eh.

Thats all for now,

Sayonara~