"Ok, so it started out fairly normal, all the levels of brain activity that you would expect to see," Scott explains, showing Cosima the scan. "But then, and here's the crazy part, the levels not only go off the charts, but the images changed. They looked like they were functioning differently. Like something is affecting your brain externally. The activity of neurons in your hippocampus was incredible. I've never seen anything like it."
"Shit, Scott," Cosima gapes, "I was right. Something is going on. Something else."
Scott looks at her. "Yes, you were. I don't know what's going on, but we're going to figure this out. It's like your brain is mixing up the memories, and something, or someone is trying to rewrite them."
"You believe me now?" Cosima asks.
"Well, I believe that something weird is going on. I'm not sure if I believe that Delphine is trying to communicate with you. Seems a little science-fictiony for me. But I'll go with it for now, until we can prove something," he answers.
"Scott, I think I need to focus my energy more on trying to communicate," Cosima admits, "I think she's trying to tell me something, but so far I can't get through to her."
"So what are you going to do? Meditate? Hypnosis?" he suggests.
"I don't know," Cosima answers, "I think I just need to be ready next time. Fight through the memory to get to the real reason these memories are being pushed forward in the first place. I need to reach out to her before she reaches out to me. Let her know that I'm there."
"And how are you going to do that?" Scott asks.
"I don't know yet. But I have to try." Cosima picks up her stuff and goes to head out the door. "Scotty, thank you. Seriously, thank you. Have a good weekend. See you Monday," She gives him a hug as he chuckles, before leaving for home.
It's dark. The light flickers in the distance. Cosima trudges closer to it, though as she gets closer, it seems farther away. It's cold.
"Cosima…"
She tries to answer but no sound comes out. She needs to get to that room. She knows that's what needs to happen, but it's so difficult. Something is holding her back. Why can't she move forward? Her legs are like lead.
"Cosima…"
She wants to scream. She wants to yell in frustration. But she can't make a sound.
Cosima wakes up in a cold sweat. It's happened again. She is no closer to getting any answers from her dream.
She gets up, popping an aspirin for her now pounding head. She sits down on the couch to think.
Maybe she needs to focus on the memories. She's had more luck speaking in those, breaking out of the cycle. Maybe her dream state is too much, her body can't break through that just yet.
She lays down on the couch, her hand coming up to cover her forehead. Staring at the ceiling, she thinks for a moment that she might be insane. What if this is crazy? What if she is chasing something that isn't even real? What if Delphine really is dead and these memories are just her brain fucking with her instead of dealing with her grief?
She feels a tear roll down her cheek as she snaps herself out of it. No, she tells herself, she feels it. She can't explain it, but she feels Delphine's presence. She knows it has to mean something. That night at the camp had felt too real. She was there. She was there. Cosima knows it, despite what everyone told her.
She can still feel her warmth on her skin. Her mind couldn't have made that up. It's not possible. The hand on her face, the hair tickling her neck. The soothing voice telling her that she was right there. She remembers it all in vivid detail. She remembers the way it smelled, the glow of the light on Delphine's face.
It was real.
Just then, she feels a shooting pain in her head and winces, her eyes closing.
She is lying in Delphine's lap. Her head feels light, a little woozy.
"I have something important to tell you," Delphine says.
Cosima recognizes this memory. She is aware now. She tries to break free of it.
"Del...Delphine," she croaks.
"Je t'aime," Delphine states, ignoring her.
She tries again. "Delphine, are you there? Please?"
"Cosima…"
"Yes! Yes, I'm here...Delphine, please say something," Cosima shouts, enthusiastically.
"Cosima…"
"Please, tell me where you are. What's going on? Are you ok? Are you here?"
"Cosima…"
Cosima jolts awake. "Fuck!" she screams before the pain in her head makes her black out.
Cosima feels her phone buzzing on her chest. Her eyes flutter open, foggy and glazed over. She looks through blurry vision to see who's calling. She can't tell so she answers.
"Hello?" she chokes, her voice sounding hoarse.
"Cosima? You sound like shit."
"Oh," Cosima answers as she realizes who it is, "Thanks, Felix."
"What the hell is up with you? I haven't spoken to you since you left for the fantastic state of Minnesota," he replies. "How is it in that freezing hellhole?"
"Uhh, it's ok," Cosima responds, shoving her glasses onto her face and trying to get her bearings.
"Well, Allison and I are have a girls day and we wanted to say hello."
"Hi, Cosima," she hears Allison say in the background. "You don't sound well. Are you sick? Perhaps you need a nice cup of tea with honey? Always a good remedy for a sore throat."
"Uh, no, Allison, thanks, I'm fine, just, uh, woke up from a nap," Cosima stumbles.
"Well, ok, whatever you say." The chipper sound of her voice is making Cosima's head pound again.
"Hey, thanks for checking in. I need to run though. I'll talk to you both soon, ok?" Cosima states, needing to get up to get some water and another aspirin.
"Alright," Felix says, "But don't be a stranger. I'm starting to think you're too good for us now, off getting your doctorate. And I need the dish about any cute ladies you're seeing."
Cosima scoffs. "I gotta go." She hangs up the phone. When did she begin to feel so far away from her family? Maybe it was when none of them believed her. Not one.
She knows she might need them eventually, but she is afraid of what they will say if they knew what she was trying to do. At least she has Scott. Good old Scott. He has never failed to be there for her.
She hears a knock at the door. Who is that? It's not like she has any friends here except Scott.
She saunters to the door, still groggy from passing out earlier. When she opens the door, she gasps. Standing in her doorway is the last possible person she would ever expect to see.
"Hey," Shay says, "Surprise?"
