Cosima has problems forming words at that moment. Her mind is so confused and so tired from the last few weeks. "Wh...what? Shay? What are you doing here?"
"Look, I know this is weird, but your friend Scott called me," she answers, "He said you were in need of some help...like with freeing your mind and such...so he called me. I have a practice about an hour from here now. I moved here for my girlfriend."
"Scott called you?" Cosima asks, in awe. She isn't quite processing why he would call her.
"Yeah, he sounded pretty desperate. Said he was really worried about you and that you could use some relaxation techniques...for your head. He said you were having headaches," Shay tells her.
"That's all he said to you?" Cosima inquires, wondering how much she really knows.
"Well," Shay pauses, "He also told me you may have some things to discuss with me, but only if you want to. If you want me to help you with your headaches, I can do just that. If you want me to help you with something more, I can also do that."
Cosima closes her eyes for a moment. "Ok, I just want to point out how fucking weird this is. I mean, we haven't spoken in over two years, and then here you are, on my doorstep."
Shay reaches out to touch Cosima's arm. "I know. But I want you to know that I've always cared about you. And now, I'm here to help you. Do you want it or not? It's completely up to you."
Cosima takes a deep breath. She is desperate for answers, desperate to make contact with Delphine, if it even is Delphine. Things were complicated between her and Shay all those years back and Shay was treated poorly. She hadn't deserved that. "Ok, there are some things I think you need to hear. Come in."
"Ok, so let me get this straight," Shay states, "Clones. A disease that only affects clones. A cure for that disease. Delphine disappearing only to come back to you for one night, but no one believes that she was really there except you. And now she is trying to contact you through your memories?"
Cosima nods. "I know...it sounds totally crazy."
"No," Shay says immediately, "I believe you."
"What? Really?" Cosima responds in awe.
"Yes. I mean, you said you feel it. I can understand that feeling. When love is that powerful, it can do some incredible things," Shay explains. "I know what we need to do."
"You do?"
Shay nods. "We need to free your mind of all other thoughts. You need to focus your memory on something specific so next time she tries to contact you, the memory is already there, present in your mind, and she can glide into it, instead of trying to push a memory from deep down in your brain. That way, your focus can be on trying to communicate with each other."
"Now that does sound crazy. How do you know that will work?" Cosima asks.
"I don't," Shay states flatly. "But we need to try, right?" She smiles at Cosima.
"But I can't just make this happen whenever I want. I don't have control over it. I get these headaches and then the memory hits me, makes me go to sleep, or something like that," Cosima explains.
"Right. You can't control it now. But maybe you will be able to," Shay replies, "We have to try something."
Cosima nods, nervous that she won't be able to do this. It sounds too far fetched.
"Come, lay down on the floor," Shay instructs.
Cosima does as she's told. She's too tired to talk about it anymore and she needs to focus all her energy on the task at hand. Shay sits on her knees beside her and places her hand on her chest.
"Ok," she begins, "I want you to close your eyes. You're going to breathe deeply, in through your nose and out through your mouth. I don't want your chest to rise as you breath. Fill your stomach instead, and focus only on the rising and falling of your stomach."
Cosima closes her eyes, breathing deeply. She feels the warmth of Shay's hand on her chest and focuses her energy on the breaths in and out.
"Good," Shay whispers, "Clear your mind. All you need to think about is the air filling your body and escaping. Feel the calm. Let it surround you. Let it soothe you."
Cosima begins to get sleepy as the muscles in her body relax.
"Cosima," Shay says, "Can you hear me?"
She nods slightly.
"Good. Now, I want you to think of a memory, one memory of you and Delphine. Focus only on that memory. Don't let anything else in. Play it over in your mind, over and over until it blocks everything else out."
Cosima is so sleepy. She uses her last ounce of strength to bring a memory forward. It's the strongest and most recent memory she has of Delphine. She plays it back, holding onto every piece of it.
"Keep breathing, keep breathing," Delphine tells her, placing the blanket over her.
Cosima is shivering. She can barely focus, barely see, but she knows Delphine is there. Beyond her senses, she can feel her presence.
"I'm right here," Cosima hears, "I'm going to keep you warm."
Her skin is there all of a sudden, warming Cosima, touching her, Delphine's hand on her face, her hair tickling her neck.
"Keep breathing, keep breathing," Delphine whispers.
Cold. So tired. Slipping, slipping.
"I'm right here. I'm going to keep you warm."
Warmth. Cozy. Home.
"Cosima…"
Cosima feels a renewed energy coursing through her. This isn't from the memory. This is something different.
"Delphine, I'm here. I've come for you."
She looks at Delphine in front of her who is still stroking her face, warming her, oblivious of the whispers she hears.
"Cosima…"
She reaches out, grabbing Delphine's face this time. "Delphine, look at me. I'm here."
Delphine looks at her. "Cosima?"
That is not part of the memory. That never happened.
"Delphine! It's me, yes, it's me!" she yells.
Delphine looks at her with fear in her eyes. "Cosima…help me..."
Everything goes black.
