Lavender Brown
"If it is me getting bit again and turning into an actual full-blown werewolf. I've already considered it. And I get closer and closer with each cycle to actually following through." I took another bite.
"No. I do not believe that would help anyway."
"What then?" I leaned closer.
"It is a two pronged process." He set down his fork and raised a finger. "First, you must learn Occlumency."
I opened my mouth to argue, but he put the finger up to quiet me and my mouth snapped shut.
"In order to better control the memories and the emotions and keep your focus during the many changes you suffer as the cycle progresses."
I sighed. It made sense, but he was correct; I didn't like it. "And how do you suggest I go about that?"
"I would be willing to tutor you, but you would have to trust me."
"I trust you."
He raised an eyebrow as if surprised by my words, but did not say anything further.
"But why?"
"It is highly likely that I will discover things within your mind during said training that you had not intended to share with me, or anyone for that matter."
I felt the heat on my face as I swallowed. "There is no one else I would trust more right now."
"Very well."
The previous surprise was gone from his features, and I could not tell if he had noted my blushing. I set down my utensils and folded my hands into my lap. "And assuming I am successful with Occlumency, what is the second part?"
"Something I cannot teach you, as I never spent the effort to learn."
"There is something you don't know? I am in shock." I smiled.
"Yes. But I think it might be worth your time to master, even though it will not be easy."
"More difficult than allowing you into my deepest, most intimate thoughts?" I wrinkled my nose.
"Perhaps."
"Stop the dramatics, what then?" I huffed.
"I think you should become an animagus."
I opened my mouth to laugh, but the intensity in his gaze said it was not a joke. "But that takes months, years even! What could that possible solve?"
"Other than to become your human self again, you cannot cast magic in the animagus form so you would not have to fear your powers harming others when your self-control wanes. I've also been told that there is a certain distance and instinctual clarity to one's thoughts while in animal form. It would allow you that release and escape you long for so intensely during the full moon without having to worry about harming yourself or someone else."
"You are really serious?"
"Completely."
"I see." I wanted to argue but found nothing credible to offer. "You don't get to choose your animagus form, do you?"
"No." He watched me.
"One can't become a werewolf animagus, right?"
He shook his head with a quick laugh. "No. That is not possible. No magical beings have ever been reported as animagi."
I nodded. "So I guess that rules out unicorn then."
He huffed. "And dragon and phoenix." He took a bit of his meal and watched me as he chewed. " I spoke to Minerva about it while I was recovering at St Mungo's. She too finds the idea to have promise. She would instruct you if you desired." He took a sip of coffee.
I frowned. "Professor McGonagall? I do not think she likes me much."
"She harbors no negative thoughts toward you and has already agreed to it."
"I don't like it."
"I warned you." He pushed his plate toward me. "Would you like a bite?"
I smiled and took a large portion of egg and ham smothered in hollandaise. "Thanks." I popped it into my mouth and pushed the pancakes to him.
Several more minutes passed as we both cleaned the plates before us. I gulped down the the remainder of my orange juice just as the waitress stopped by to refill our coffee and leave the bill.
"So when do we start?"
"Now is as good a time as any."
I swallowed. "If you say so."
Severus Snape
Lavender squirmed in the old chair in the sitting room, as she watched me in silence. I looked her up and down struggling to find some place to start our lesson as I paced around the chair. My previous attempt at teaching the skill of Occlumency had been a complete failure, but that time had been between two reluctant participants with a significant amount of negativity toward one another. I paused and stepped back from the witch. She held no negativity toward me at this moment and I had none toward her, but I wondered if by the end of this lesson, that would change.
I cleared my throat. "If my memory serves, you used to have long hair, Lavender."
"Yes. I -"
"No. Do not tell me. I want to know what happened to it. You are not to let me see." I held my wand at my side, but pointed toward her. "Are you ready?"
She swallowed and nodded her head, grey eyes wide.
"No. I can see on your face you are still too open. Do not think of the memory. Think of something else, something mundane, something vague, and focus on it."
Her features relaxed and her eyes narrowed.
With wordless incantation, I entered her head. Although she seemed to push back against my search, forcing visions of sitting in class at Hogwarts taking notes to the forefront of her thoughts, I quickly penetrated her mind and found the memory she was suppose to be blocking.
Dressed in hospital robes she stood at the mirror in a small lavatory. Spots of blood stained the pale robe where it stuck to the dressings beneath it. As she looked the in mirror, she touched her ashen face before dragging her fingers through her tangled long golden locks. Her grey eyes were bloodshot and sunken with tired dark shadows beneath them. She grabbed the wand from the sink with one hand and twisted the locks tightly into a long rope before raising it from her the top of her head. In a swift moved she whispered an incantation under her breath and sliced through her locks several inches from her scalp. The now short, choppy locks fell onto her face like a lion's mane, wild and untamed.
She threw the cut hair into the sink. As she set the hair ablaze, tears fell from her eyes. "There will be no more moonlight on these locks," she hissed. When she caught her reflection in the mirror again, she slammed her fist into the glass bringing a sting to her hand.
She laughed an empty sounding laugh as she watched the blood from the gaping wound in her hand drip into the sink with the burning hair. Dark smoke raised up around her.
I backed out of her thoughts and met her eyes, full of pain and disgust.
She turned from me.
"You do not feel anything small, do you?"
She shook her head. "I never have. I guess that was just enhanced with all my other senses." A tear streamed down her cheek as she glanced back to me. She inhaled, tightened her jaw, and wiped it away with the palm of a hand. "What about you? You are like a stone wall. Do you feel anything at all?"
"Yes. Of course. But that is the entire point of Occlumency. Control your emotions and close your mind."
"I don't think I will ever be any good at this." She sighed as she wiped away more tears. "I've never been one to hide my feelings."
"It is a skill like any other. It can be learned with dedication and practice."
She huffed. "If you say so."
"I do. Let's go again. I want to see your boggart. Do not let me."
"Why do you keep poking at such painful memories?" She groaned.
"Because secrets are the easiest to hide."
"Next you will be wanting to know about or my first time being crucioed or when my Gram died."
"One thing at a time. The boggart, Lavender."
It was no surprise that when I entered her thoughts this time, I was overtaken with a barrage of memories. Again she tried to block me with images of her sitting in her Gryffindor common room, gossiping with one of the other girls, shopping in Hogsmeade, and watching Quidditch., but the longer I probed, the fuzzier the images became until they faded. I encountered the vision of a chest in the Dark Arts classroom. I knew that chest and I knew the girl's worst fear would come forth when the door opened. I continued to observe, but to my surprise she did not show my the memory of her own experience in the the boggart. As I watched through her mind's eye, I saw Harry Potter standing before the chest and the dementor appearing before him. As I was about to pull free from her thoughts though, the memory showed Remus Lupin jumping forth and the dementor changing to a glowing orb; a full moon.
"Ugh!" Lavender stood from the chair and walked away from me, breaking our contact.
"That was not your boggart. Good."
She laughed, but it was not a joyful sound. "No. Not then, but it probably would be now. Thinking back to that time, I do not even remember what I saw anymore, only that."
I nodded. "That is the memory you were trying to block."
"Yes."
"But you felt my presence. You knew I was there."
"Yes."
"That is the first step."
She clenched her teeth and made a sound of exacerbation. "But how do I get passed that step?"
With a soft laugh, I shook my head. "That is enough for today. Take some time to think about what you experienced today."
She sighed. "That sounds good." Then she sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. "I think I need a shower. May I?" She motioned to the bookcase hiding the stairs to the upper level.
"Yes. Of course."
She stood and pulled open the door before pausing. She glanced down at herself and sighed.
I raised an eyebrow in question as she glanced at me.
"This is to only clothing I have here... I'll just using a cleansing charm on my dress. It will do."
AN: not my strongest work but I wanted to get something up for the long weekend since I skipped last week due to vacation. PLEASE PLEASE send me some feedback about your thoughts thus far. Reviews are my fuel to keep on writing and growing. I really do crave your feedback. What do you hope will happen? Do you find this growing relationship believable and authentic? What are you enjoying and what are you not enjoying? Thanks again!
