Hello and here's chapter 5:
Pamela went to the Manuscriptorium early in the morning as she was no longer working for the army, she felt the need of doing something. She went in to find the office empty.
"Can you move? I need to get in." a voice came from behind her and she turned to find Brian who hadn't recognized her with her hair braided instead on her normal ponytail. "Pamela, you're early." he waved lowly. "Hi!"
"Hi, and so are you." Pamela answered and went in first. Brian followed her from behind to his desk. "I'll get to work." exclaimed Pamela and opened the library's door. She closed her eyes shut from pain. Her hands had burned because of holding the fire fabric.
Seeing her pause by the door made Brian curious. "Anything wrong?" he looked at her but she just shook her head and shakily opened the door.
Pamela knew that Brian was following her down the stairs but for some reason she didn't want to send him off today. She opened the curtains and sat next to the books. Everything she touched made her entire hand throb with pain. Brian stood next to her, looking carefully at her.
"Your hand... what happened to it?" he sat down to take a better look. Brian took her hand but his touch made pain go up in Pamela's body and result in her letting out a small groan. "What are you doing to yourself?" he let go of her hand immediately when seeing her suffering. He had to help her but how could he help a girl who wouldn't allow him any to even talk more than needed.
"Nothing. Just go, please." Pamela looked back at the books lying on the floor and wondered about her life. She was not only pushing away anyone good to her but was somehow deceiving them as well. Brian and Cerys were the only ones to ever show her affection without wanting anything in return but she was just using them for her goals. The thought made her guilty and feel tears in her eyes. "Go, leave me!" she gulped as she said but Brian didn't leave.
He brought her head up and was amazed to see Pamela not reacting harshly to it. "I don't know how you got that burn on your hand or why you came here instead of the army or why is your right arm moving slowly." he saw her jerk. "And I don't want to know."
"Why? What makes you trust me?" Pamela demanded desperately.
"Because to me you're someone worth trusting and dying for." Brian answered quietly making Pamela look down so that he cannot see her face.
The amount of guilt that Pamela felt was so deep that she couldn't look him in the eye "I'm not trustworthy or anything else." she mumbled under her breath. "So please... please stop being like this. You're making things harder for me." Pamela pleaded as she hated seeing people trust her for nothing. Seeing Cerys was horrible enough for her, she didn't want to add Brian to her.
Instead of answering Brian carefully took her wrist and helped her stand. "It's early. Let's go somewhere." he smiled brightly and pulled her with him. Pamela went without any objection; his change of attitude had made her curious.
He went into a labyrinth-kind corridor, still pulling her with him. The corridor had made Pamela dizzy and by the time he finally stopped she felt something stirring in her stomach. As she crouched over her stomach a little, a cold breeze came.
"We're here." Brian pulled her hand slightly to make her look up.
Before her eyes were tunnels beautifully covered with plain ice that were shimmering by the rays of light. "The Ice tunnels." she was amazed at seeing such an amazing place. "But you didn't let anyone get in even at the price of getting hit. So why_"
Brian cut through her words. "You compare yourself to those horrible soldiers. Come on in." he opened a rope of the wall and Pamela went forward when seeing him holding the robes of a sled.
She thought about his words and pitied him for trusting her as she was far more horrible than those soldiers. Brian sat on the sled and waited for Pamela to join him. She sat behind him. "What if they come and see you're here?" she asked as she didn't find herself worthy of his kindness.
"Forget all about them for now." answered Brian and set the sled on the run. They circled the tunnels and the further they went, Brian rode faster. Pamela was laughing and holding him to avoid falling. She really had forgotten all about revenge, Fearless or any of her plans and was just enjoying her time with him in the Ice Tunnels. "Want to slow down?" Brian shouted so that she can hear him.
Pamela held him tighter. "No, go faster." she shouted back.
"Hold tight." Brian increased the speed and entered a narrow tunnel with a sharp ending. He leaned forward and so did Pamela. At the sharp end of the small tunnel they flew in the air from speed which made Pamela scream with laughter and landed heavily on fresh snow. "What'd you think?" asked Brian breathless from the ride and pointed at the snow covered area.
Pamela stood on the snow and looked around. The chill, paleness and beauty of the place was truly enchanting. As she walked on the snow, a snowball landed on her head from behind. She turned to see Brian laughing and making another ball. "Don't be a kid." she snapped but was answered by another snowball thrown at her forehead.
"Just admit it. You can't beat me." challenged Brian and started making more snowballs but Pamela was faster. She swiftly gathered as much snow as she could and hit him with it. Brian looked up, amazed.
"You're no match for me." Pamela retorted and started bombarding him with snowballs and Brian either caught the snowball or made another to answer her. She laughed with joy every time she was hit by a snow ball. Suddenly a thought came to her. She stood motionless and stared at a spot behind his head. "I think we better go back to work." she said with a nervous voice and kept her stare.
Brian who was warming his hands looked behind him in distress for the fear of anyone catching him while breaking the rules. A satisfied smile appeared on Pamela's face as she ran to him. When Brian turned to her, she was already too close to him. Pamela threw the giant snowball right at his face, covering him with snow.
She laughed with victory at him and rolled her eyes with mocking arrogance. Being beaten by her, Brian ran after her while she tried to run away with their feet getting numb from going deep in the snow. While chasing her, Brian's foot hit the sled and he fell to the ground. Finally tired, Pamela too let herself fall by his side and they both lay still on the snow.
"I'm a champion snowball player but I never guessed you would be_" Brian's words were cut short when he turned to look at Pamela's face. He was amazed to see that her nose had turned red and a tear drop fall from the side of her eye. He sat up to get a better look at her. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Pamela didn't answer. The amount of despise she suddenly felt for herself was indescribable as she stared into the ceiling of the ice tunnels. She knew that she was crying but couldn't help it so she closed her eyes in an attempt to stop it.
Taking her shoulders, Brian lifted her to face him. "Why are you crying?" he asked with confusion as she was laughing with him not a moment ago.
With the back of her hand Pamela wiped her face and looked at him. "You're wrong about me." she gulped as her tears started running on her cheeks once more. The confused expression on Brian's face made it harder for her to restrain herself. "I'm a far worst person that you think." Pamela stared at her hands with shame.
"Then don't be." Brian answered in a rapid and snappy tone as if wanting to dismiss the idea of Pamela being bad. He hated thinking about it since he had seen her suspicious behaviors. "No matter what, I'll help you to be good. Just say the word and we can do it." he took her wrist but she just shook her head and looked away.
"I can't!" she admitted. "I have things to do and in order to do so I must do these things. Deceive anyone or anything whoever gets close to me." she didn't want to tell him everything but something in him made her want to show him her real self. "Even you. I may even deceive you so stay away from me. I don't want you to get hurt."
Brian studied her face carefully and knew at once she wasn't lying. "Do it. Deceive me, it's fine with me." he said loudly with determination and put his index finger on her mouth to prevent her from talking. "All the goal I had in life was becoming the Chief Hermetic Scribe but now, I have another goal." he let his hand slide under her chin to lift it. "And that is to protect you. Crazy and illogical, yes, but it's out of my hands."
Pamela pulled out her hand from his and stood up. "No, you can't protect a creature like me. For the things I want to do I must throw away everything that I ever had and you will stand in my way." she turned to sit on the sled but Brian took her arm.
"Why do I stand in your way?" Brian smiled calmly but it didn't reach his eyes. "You like me?"
She faced him with confidence, her lips were trembling from holding back her tears. "It's natural for a girl at my state to fall for a man who was the first to show her true honesty." she confessed and tried to free her arm but his grip was tight. "But I'll kill that affection to achieve my goal, that's who I am. I'm a person who's willing to do anything just to get what she wants." she knew that she was exaggerating but it was necessary for him to let her go. "Who can like such a person? Can you like a woman who may leave you anytime for a better option?"
Brian's smiled faded and replaced itself with annoyed expression. "Then why did you come with me here? Why did you play with me?" he almost shouted which was unusual for Pamela but she kept her head up.
"To show you what happens when you associate with a person like me. You'll only get hurt." she avoided saying that it was her kind of saying goodbye. "So let me go." she tried to pull her arm out but Brian didn't let her to do so. He tightened his grip to make it impossible for her even move her arm.
Brian was angry with her and himself for being in such a position. He knew that Pamela was getting into dangerous work and his mind told him to leave her. The logical idea was to leave the woman who he had known for a short time but it was hard for him. "Don't lie." he insisted with a sigh.
Pamela knew that she might give in any minute. "I wanted to do this so that I can quietly let go of who I was. This may be the last time I'll ever show you my weakness so forget all about today." her voice was harsher than she liked it to be. "It's over, Brian." Pamela sniffed to stop crying. Her crying wasn't just for Brian but for realizing that what she was doing was truly bad.
Silently Brian pulled her into an embrace without any further comment. She stood stiff in his arms as he held her tightly. She wanted to return his embrace but it meant surrendering to him. After what felt like ages he broke the embrace and looked at her ashen face.
Pamela saw his hand coming up to caress her face and for a moment she felt that she may want to let everything go and follow him. It felt good to be loved by someone. His fingertips were right next to her cheek that the laughing and cruel face of the man who had killed her family appeared before her eyes. The screams echoed in her ears. She couldn't forget that face even with Brian. Not until she took her revenge from that man. With that resolution she abruptly pushed his hand away and stood back. The image of that night was still clearly visible before her eyes.
Seeing her frightened eyes, Brian became frustrated. He could never erase that fear in her eyes directly. Defeated he sat on the sled and closed his eyes to clear his head. He might as well give in to her will. When Pamela sat behind him and circled her arms around his waist he didn't say anything and just rode the sled.
Pamela walked to the palace weakly. Since the sled ride with Brian she felt guiltier. When the giant palace gates opened before her, she realized how far she had come. Not long ago she wasn't even allowed to set foot inside the palace. The hair at the back of her neck stood up as she sensed someone watching her.
She turned to see Brian standing down the steps and gazing at her with disappointment. Pamela shook her head to indicate her determination and went in. She put Brian, his words and embrace behind her as she walked in the corridors. Her walking was no longer weak but strong and fast.
When she reached the throne room the Queen and the ministers had already gathered. Everyone stopped talking as she entered the room and Queen Mathilda stood up.
"Welcome." she extended her hands with grace and waited for her to get closer. Pamela stood in the middle of the room and saw Cerys wink at her happily which she returned. Her standing firm and not bowing made the Queen to raise an eyebrow. "Everyone, this is the person who has made the dream of ending rebellion a reality. Pamela, on behalf of all, I thank you for your endeavors."
"It was my honor to be of any assistance to you, Queen Mathilda." Answered Pamela as costumed but still avoided bowing her head in front of her.
"As a reward for your achievement, I want to grant you a wish. What is it that you like to have? Gold?" Queen Mathilda had noticed her proud gestures and she didn't like it but Pamela had already made a deal with her. And she wasn't going to go back on her words.
Pamela's mouth showed a small smirk that she couldn't suppress. "I have no interest in gold, my liege. What I want is quite different from that." she paused for a moment to turn her smirking and proud face into a grateful one. "I want to become the Royal Advisor."
Her request made everyone whisper and exchange glances. They couldn't believe that a girl at her age would want something like that. "We already have a Royal Advisor, and that is the Extraordinary Wizard." voiced the Queen as she for some reason didn't want Pamela so close to her.
"Then let me learn from him. After a few years of training, I think I'll become qualified enough for the job. Your Majesty, please hear my earnest wish to work close to you." she wasn't lying as she truly wished to work with the Queen but they didn't need to know the reason.
Queen Mathilda turned to the Extraordinary Wizard who was a tall man with a tall cylindrical black hat on his head, long black beard and looking odd in his purple robes. "Extraordinary Wizard, will you take the responsibility?" the Queen asked, hoping for him to deny. The man turned to Pamela and studied her. Pamela didn't like the way he looked at her with his dark green eyes observing her.
"Yes, Your Majesty. I, DomDaniel, will take responsibility for her and promise to make her into a perfect advisor that fits your grace." he bowed his head slightly but Pamela still could see him smiling and what made her doubt the path she was going, was the look of the boy standing next to him. The boy looked at DomDaniel with a kind of fear as if knowing what was going on in his head. Pamela's gaze was going to the boy and back to DomDaniel. She realized that things may get harder than she had anticipated.
As they left the throne room, DomDaniel turned to her. "Where are you currently living?" his voice was uneven as he talked.
"I stay at the inn." she answered quietly and wished that he wouldn't say the thing she dreaded but her hopes were turned down when he spoke.
"You have to stay at the Wizard Tower from now on." he turned to the boy who was wearing green robes with brown boots. "Alther!" he nearly shouted and made the boy jump. "You better remember the summoning spell I thought you last week or you may have to carry all her stuff by hand." he smirked with satisfaction at Pamela's face who was looking at Alther with sympathy. "I expect you early tomorrow morning." with that he strode off and Alther followed, telling him that he had learnt the spells well enough.
Pamela could feel that something wasn't right about the way DomDaniel gazed at her but she hadn't come all this way to chicken out. She headed to the inn and noticed that Brian was gone. She thought to herself that it was better with him gone because she now could focus on getting closer to the Queen. She was determined to do it even if it meant going past DomDaniel.
Thank you all for reading and hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know your thoughts and prediction for this story. Farewell for now.
