As it turns out the little fight Edward and I got into the day before was just been a tiny bit pointless. Out there on two separate jet-skis in the middle of the lake Edward partially explained why he had reacted the way he did. He had remembered the first girl he'd been with, her name was Carrie, and she was a pretty blonde. But now she was as good as a vegetable. Yep; apparently Carrie fell into a coma a couple years back and her rich family is still waiting for her to wake up.
I wanted to laugh in exasperation. But then I would feel bad. So as he was telling me this I just nodded. He didn't really seem too torn up about this. Infact, he was rather detached. So I was still heavily confused as to why the hell he had reacted the way he did when I answered. I tried to think of anything I had said before he became angry, but I couldn't remember anything. Maybe a turtle bit him. That'd make me crabby.
Edward and I were back into sync again that night and we enjoyed another night around the campfire. Esme raised an eyebrow at me when instead of sitting next to her in the empty lawn chair, I opted to sit in the one next to Edward. I looked at her and shrugged. I was so confused the only thing I could do was roll with it.
The next morning I woke up at about six due to the loud thunder shaking the cabin. When it stormed up here, it stormed with hell's fury. I got out of my warm bed and padded on the carpet to the door. I was disoriented and surprised when I saw Emmett leaning with his elbows on the counter staring out at the grayish green rainy landscape. My yawn alerted him to my presence. He turned his head back to look who it was. I smiled softly in greeting. He gave me a small grin and nod in greeting.
"Do you drink coffee?" I asked barely above a whisper due to Rose sprawled on the futon on the other side of the cabin.
Emmett shook is head still looking out at the storming skies, "Never liked the stuff."
I nodded and went slowly to the cabinet to get a bag of herbal, non caffeinated tea. I found a mug and carefully turned the water spout on to fill it. I put it quietly into the microwave, working around where Emmett was standing. I kept an eye on it, not wanting the ding to go off.
"I love the smell," I commented, following his gaze out the window. It had a screen on it so the glass part of the window opened to let in the noise and smell of summer rain.
"One of those things you miss in Iraq," Emmett agreed faintly. I nodded and we waited there for about a minute. I beat the ding of the microwave and took out the mug and put the bag in to seep it. I decided to leave Emmett and his rain watching in peace. So I went to the closest unoccupied futon and sat down on it. I tucked my feet under me and opened the curtain to see the rain from a more comfortable viewing point.
I looked up from the steaming water to see Emmett coming over to sit across from me on the couch. I propped my elbow on the back of the cushion and laid my head in my hand. I glanced up at him, wondering if he had anything he wanted to say. When he didn't say anything I looked back down at the tea and raised the bag up and down with the string, watching as a dark red swirled around the clear water and a flavorful aroma spread around me, tickling my nose.
I enjoyed having Emmett around. I knew Rose just adored him, and I was glad she'd found someone who was truly decent. I had never really had many discussion with him though.
"Edward's a good guy," Emmett spoke without warning. When I watched him I saw he was still staring out to the lake that was being pelted with tiny drops of water.
"I know that," I said quietly, looking over to see if Rosalie was still out like a light. She was.
"I'm telling you this as a friend, not Edward's wing man," Emmett continued, voice hushed.
I nodded and took a sip of my tea.
"Edward's had some pretty shitty luck in life. He's good a covering it up and acting like he's happy so no one notices." I frowned. I didn't like to hear that Edward has had a rough life. I didn't know exactly what all had happened to him. He's very closed off about his past. And I didn't push, because I haven't told him much about my parents either.
Emmett either didn't see my frown or continued regardless. "I've been around him for a long time now. And seeing him here with you…it's the first time I've seen a difference in him. He's genuinely happy. He's not covering anything up since I've watched him here."
I figured Emmett was telling the truth because I had no reason to doubt what he was saying. I didn't have anything to compare Edward to. No Edward then and Edward now. I couldn't imagine him any other way than he was now. I stopped my mind immediately from drawing horrible conclusions of what exactly happened to Edward.
"I'm glad," I whispered, thinking rather fondly of him.
Emmett turned his gaze away from the rain and looked directly at me. "But I'm not done. And feel free to tell me that I'm out of line when I say this, but there is something...you know...between the two of you."
Again, I nodded, unsure of what I was supposed to say. Somehow, oh gee thanks! You really think so? didn't sound right.
"Look Bella, to anyone else your relationship looks downright weird and unconventional. I get that you guys both are facing a few. . .erm. . .issuses with your age and current living statuses. But honestly, I don't know why either of you would be dense enough enough to let whatever you are. . .you know, feeling slide because of fear." I remained silently, listening intently to his unexpected lecture. It would be a lie to say that he hadn't been spot on with guessing why I was so unsure. I didn't know what to think. Emmett had a sensitive side; who knew?
"I'm not trying to go all Yoda on you; I just want you to give him a chance. If that's what you want I mean." It was way too early in the morning to be having this conversation. But I silently thought about what Emmett had just said and then nodded slowly.
"So basically do whatever the fuck I want?" I summed up with the hint of a grin on my face.
"Basically," Emmett grinned back with an approving nod and wink. With Edward and I's relationship at the stage where it was so completely undefined, I was glad that I had his best friend's approval.
We sat there and watched the rain fall until I had finished my tea. It would be raining all day from what the weather forecast said, so I doubted I would be missing anything if I went back to sleep for a couple hours. My yawn gave me away. Emmett yawned shortly after me.
"Might as well go back to bed," he suggested. I agreed and stood up slowly. I set the empty mug on the table and Emmett went towards the direction of the room him and Edward were sharing.
"Hey Emmett?" I asked in a loud whisper. He turned back and looked at me expectantly with raised eyebrows. "Does Edward snore?"
I watched as his shoulders shook up and down with silent laughter as he smirked at me. Then he shook his head and winked at me before opening the door to the bedroom. Good to know, I nodded to myself before crawling back into the comfort of my pillow and blankets.
When I woke up again there was no difference in the sky outside. But when I looked at the clock it said 9:12. So I got out of bed, not bothering to change out of the fleece pants and sweatshirt I had slept in and opened the door to find everyone else already up, looking bright eyed and bushy tailed. Well, with the exception of Rose who was sitting at the table blinking her sleep filled eyes rapidly and looking slightly murderous.
Carlisle and Esme were both already dressed in jeans and casual clothes buzzing around the kitchen. Each of their overnight bags were thrown by the door that leads to the backyard. Edward as sitting at the table across from Rosalie and next to Emmett. The guys were each nursing a can Mt. Dew.
"Morning," I said to no one in particular as I stretched my arms across my body and yawned. Rosalie grunted in acknowledgment and Esme gave me a wave without even looking in my direction. Edward smiled warmly at me, already showered and looking fresh in his ARMY gray t-shirt and a pair of jeans.
I plopped down in the chair next to Edward and slouched against it. He grinned at my tiredness and took another drink of his pop. I smiled groggily back and then looked over at Carlisle. He was flipping pan cakes on the stove and Esme was next to him cutting up fruit.
"Why are your bags packed?" I asked him. Carlisle looked up from the food and followed my gaze to the bags.
"One of Esme's new employees who planned her first outdoor wedding called this morning in. . . well it wasn't really tears. . .more like sobs. Es agreed to get over there and make sure things run smoothly for the afternoon wedding. So we're heading out after breakfast." Sucks for that bride. I shrugged indifferently and nodded.
Minutes later steaming food was set in front of us on the table and we all dug into the meal. I was in the middle of devouring my pancake with wild berry syrup when Esme spoke up.
"So Emmett, how long will you be here?"
I watched both Emmett and Rosalie curiously. Rosalie frowned and stared intently down at the fruit that she was currently eating and stabbed a blueberry particularly roughly. Emmett started to frown but then caught himself and his mouth moved to a flat line. His shoulders on the other hand, tensed.
"I'm here for one more week. My flight leaves a week from today," he answered. I wasn't sure if Esme was oblivious –I doubted that- or if she was empathic and didn't want to dwell on the subject.
"You'll be here for 4th of July! I'm glad! Do you two have any plans?" Esme continued cheerily. I was glad Edward and Emmett wouldn't be in Iraq for Independence Day. Alice and Jasper wouldn't be either come to think of it. I had completely forgotten that they would be arriving on leave in just a couple days.
Emmett looked at Rose who looked up from her plate. She shook her head and Emmett nodded. Even though Esme had seen the exchange Emmett still answered, "No, we don't."
Esme nodded and raised an eyebrow at no one in particular, her lips pursed twice. I knew that look. That was Esme's idea look. I glanced over at Carlisle who was looking at his wife. We both knew that look and wanted to know what her current plan was. It was like you could hear the gears turning in her hand.
"How would you two like to come up here, to the cabin? The four of us will be up here." Hmm, I was disappointed; normally her ideas were a little more exciting. Honestly, I had been hoping for something with a tiger in it. But Esme continued, "If your friends Jasper and Alice haven't made any plans you could sure ask them if they would like to join us. We have plenty of room." And there it was.
Edward nodded considering the idea. Rosalie shrugged but a small smile tugged and her lips and Emmett was nodding slowly, approving greatly by the looks of it. I on the other hand positively beamed. I fucking loved 4th of July.
"I would like that." The rest of them nodded in agreement with me and Esme smiled brilliantly.
"I'll text Jasper later," Emmett piqued.
"I'll be a great 4th," Esme smiled, her eyes twinkling brightly.
Just like they said, Carlisle and Esme were out of the cabin right after breakfast was done. I mean literally right after. . . again leaving us to do the dishes. Emmett and Edward were forced to do them while Rose and I played a card game. War.
I got dressed in a different sweatshirt from the soccer team and threw on a pair of jeans. I placed a thin headband in my hair to push it away from my face and decided to screw makeup.
Edward and Emmett were in the garage and Rosalie was taking a shower. I opened the door leading outside and sprinted through the rain to where the hammock was nestled under the protection of the two trees. It was dry as the desert when I laid down on it. It was chilly out here but it was nice, it smelt like summer rain, and the constant pour of it was soothing.
I don't know how much time had passed. It couldn't have been more then ten minutes. Edward opened the door that I had come out of. I watched as he scanned the yard and lake until his eyes located where I was lying. I gave him a little wave. He smiled before looking up at the sky. Then he ran through the yard in my direction until he got under the protection of the trees.
"Hey snicker doodle," he said breathlessly with a dazzling grin. I smiled at the name. He ran his hand through his hair that had just gotten rained on. "This seat taken?" he asked while he gestured to the empty space on the hammock next to me. I slid over to make room, just like last weekend.
"I like the rain," Edward said softly staring out at the lawn.
"Me too," I agreed. I turned on my side and propped my head up to face him. He turned away from where he was looking and then mirrored my position. Our denim covered legs fell together and rested against one another.
The only sound for a whole minute was the steady pour of rain on the leaves and lake. We stared at each other. This morning when Rosalie was staring down her fruit while Emmett talked about leaving it made me panic and empathize with her. Edward wasn't going to be here forever. He wouldn't be here for long at all. And I didn't want to forget a single thing about him. So I studied his face, I memorized his eyes and put his small smile in my memory.
"Bella," his voice broke me out of my gazing. I blinked and looked into his eyes. His voice was gentle, and, almost vulnerable.
"Yeah?" I asked quietly.
I watched as his shaven jaw shifted back and forth, something he did when he was at a loss for words. And that wasn't often. I didn't wonder when it came to Edward talking. I waited.
"These past two or so weeks have been some of the best of my life," Edward started. His eyes traveled past mine and looked off to nothing in particular. I gave him a small encouraging smile. I wasn't going to interrupt him, especially because he sounded like he had something important to say.
"I. . .Bella, this morning when Emmett and Rose were talking about him going back. It made me think of me having to go back in a couple weeks. . .when I was on the plane coming here, I didn't ever think it would be that difficult to leave you after a month. But then I saw you, standing amongst the crowd at the airport and," he paused for a milisecond, his eyes locking with mine, "everything changed. And now, I. . . now I don't know what I'm doing anymore."
I watched him as he put himself out there with that beautiful speech and now he was completely exposed. And soldiers are never exposed. I had only hoped that this is what he had been thinking about. I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around him. I wanted him to hug me and everything to be good and make sense. Instead I tentatively reached out with my free hand and brushed stray strands away from his forehead tenderly. I let my hand rest lightly on the side of his face as he kept his eyes on mine.
Edward took another breath to steady his voice. "I really like you Bella, I know I shouldn't, I know nothing can happen, and if it does it will only cause you pain. But I. . .I don't know why I feel this way, but something's right. It's like I never really lived until I met you, I didn't know so much was missing until you came into my life."
I opened my mouth hesitantly to speak but he started to talk again, looking slightly panicked now, "I don't mean to freak you out. I mean, I totally get it if I'm being completely out of line. I didn't come here expecting this. I really didn't. I just. . .fuck, I just, I don't know what I'm doing. I just know I can't keep sitting around wasting another day of you not knowing how I feel."
I closed my eyes and took a cleansing breath when I opened them I stared into his anxious eyes as I spoke. "Edward, I. . .I don't know how I'm going to let you go back to Iraq. I feel so much for you, and it's honestly freaking me out. All I know is that I want you in my life even if that means pain for me. You are worth it."
I hated exposing myself just as much as Edward did. Admitting fear is not something I did, because it made me feel weak. Maybe that was why I was so insanely sarcastic most of the time. Edward made me feel so vulnerable and so safe at the same time.
"I'm scared shitless," I whispered.
Edward let out a low chuckle, "Tell me about it." Involuntarily I licked my lower lip and continued to stare at him. He leaned forward, towards my face while my heart started to pound loudly. My eyes darted nervously to his lips which were making their descent towards mine.
Edward pressed lips softly against mine. It was just a light touch, one full of promises. He pulled back after a moment and searched my eyes, looking for something unknown to me. Whatever he was looking for he seemed to have found. He pressed his lips gently, yet firmly against mine. I pressed my mouth back against his my lips parting for him.
He took my lower lip between his soft lips and sucked softly. I shivered in pleasure and closed my eyes all the while pushing my face closer to his. Tentatively I ran my tongue over his top lip. Edward stilled for a moment and I was about to open my eyes when I felt him resume kissing me, now with more rigorousness than before. I moved the hand that wasn't holding my head up to his hair that had started to grow out longer since he got here. I ran my hand through the soft locks holding his head close to mine. His own free hand slid under my sweatshirt and rested on my side firmly, not going any higher.
Edward's warm tongue slid into my mouth. My toes curled at the sensation. I kissed him back with spirit as the gentleness of the first kiss dissolved. It dissolved into passion, and hunger. Edward's mouth was no longer gentle; instead he was kissing me roughly, kindling a lust that shouldn't have surprised me. Responding on instinct I pulled myself closer to him. His grip on my side tightened possessively as he shifted closer to me.
The rain continued to pour around us. But Edward and I, right now, we were safe from the storm. We were under our own awning blocking out all the harsh elements and staying dry. I wished that we would be able to stay here forever. But the rain would continue and eventually we would need to brave it out and run through the water hoping we didn't get too wet. And we would get to shelter, but waiting at that shelter will be Emmett and Rosalie, eyebrows raised and silent questions on their mouths. We'll be safe from the storm, but not alone together.
I continued to kiss Edward until he softly pulled away. My eyes fluttered open as my chest raised up and down, filling with the air I hadn't got while kissing him. Edward fell back on the hammock next to me, bringing his hand away from my side and placing it on his own chest.
After both of us had regained our breaths Edward turned to look at me. I stared curiously at him. He smiled at me, and that smile assured me that everything would be all right. He was all in on this. I smiled back with soft happiness back at him. He moved forward and placed a reverent kiss on my forehead, his lips lingering against my skin, unwilling to break the connection we had in that moment.
We didn't have to brave the storm just yet.
It's like I never lived
Before my life with you
So much was missing here
I never even knew
I still picture the place we were
When I fell into your world
I don't know why feel this way
But something's right
You're like the morning air
Before the light arrives
No more lonely and
No more night
No more secrets to hide
Keeping Me Alive, The Afters
-Aww. Finally! Took me long enough, huh?
-I want to apologize for my bitching last chapter, you guys are SO awesome, and you didn't deserve my frustration for a few a few people. Thank you so much for sticking with me(:
-Sorry this chapter is a little rough editting wise. I betaed (betad? hmm.) it myself since my lovely sister has been working nonstop.
-Oh. Well I'm at it...any puppy name ideas? If Edward was to say (hypothetically of course;) get Bella dog. Lemme know your ideas(:
