"Um, excuse me," an annoying, whiny voice rang through my ears, "uh, I have like, stomach cramps, and I can't like, run, like right now. So, like, I'm going to go like, sit down." I didn't think it was possible to put like in a sentence so many different times. But this nasal sounding girl totally just proved me wrong.

I nodded, trying my best to look sympathetic, but also putting just enough sarcasm in there to make sure this little bitch knew I already disliked her. "Well, like, are you like, sure?" I asked blinking at her and sticking my lip out like she was currently doing.

"Like, yeah," she nodded vigorously, making her fake blond hair fall into front of her make up covered face.

I scoffed as she walked off the field. Rosalie jogged over to where I was standing, shaking her head. "I really wish we could just cut people right now."

Rosalie and I had the joy of running captains practice for the girls soccer team. So far it was going peachy.

"Nah," I disagreed with a smirk, "I'm thinking she'll do great things."

So far we had instilled a fear in the new girls that was giving me a wrong sense of satisfaction. I enjoyed having power quite a lot.

"Alright, we're going to start out with a two mile run!" I announced. The girls looked up from where they were sitting in a circle on the grass stretching. There was a groan from a few of them, but the others looked indifferent, and even a little bit excited. Rose and I had decided to base the first days off of Edward and Emmett's army work outs with the exclusion of some very heavy lifting. As of lately, it had been working pretty well. I was glad I had started to run with Ares though.

"That has to be run in under 15 minutes!" I added loudly. The indifferent ones were now groaning. The freshmen were driving Rose and me insane. They were all little brats. And normally I wasn't one to be mean to those lower in the food chain, but this was particularly annoying group.

Rosalie grinned at me as we started to run, not waiting for the girls to get up. They could catch up.

The two of us hadn't been able to catch up at all. For the past few days of practice we had been all over the place, trying to meet all the new girls and make everyone feel comfortable. And before practice started we hadn't been able to hang out or chat due to my obsessive golfing and moping.

"You totally fucking slept with him, didn't you," Rosalie accused as soon as we were out of ear shot from the other girls. I raised my eyebrows and then lowered them almost immediately. I had spent so little time with Rose lately that I had almost forgotten her blunt ways. Almost.

"Who?" I asked, playing coy with a smirk. She knew I knew who she was talking about. She also knew I was going to be difficult. It seemed almost. . .wrong. . .to share what had happened with Edward and I. Because it was ours and I felt like sharing it might take away from how special it was. Besides, despite the fact that I was 18, I liked to think I was more mature than my peers.

Our feet hit the pavement in sync with each other as we swung or arms with our jog. I welcomed the breathless feeling that slowly started to creep through my lungs. Rosalie huffed and glared over at me. "You so did," she laughed. I narrowed my eyes at her. "When? Did the good Sergeant break the law?" she questioned, amusement still in her voice.

"No," I informed her, raising my chin in the air snobbishly, "there was no law breaking."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Let me guess, the day you turned 18."

"Of course not!" I exclaimed while trying very hard to to act indignant. It looked like she believed me.

It was the day after I turned 18.

"Geez, touchy, touchy. When did you become Miss Sensitive?" Rose asked her voice starting to fill with breathlessness. We had run about a half of mile so far. I looked back to see if we had lost any of the girls yet. I was pleasantly surprised that they were still trucking along faithfully.

"I am neither touchy nor sensitive!" I snapped defensively. Well. . .maybe a tiny bit on the touchy side.

"Uh huh," Rosalie agreed mockingly. I stuck my tongue out over in her direction. "Then how come you didn't call me for two weeks after Edward left? You dropped off the face of the planet."

I definitely did not want to be having this conversation. I imagined something more along the lines of, Hey Bella, how's Edward? Oh he's good! Super, guess what? And then she should have launched into an irrelevant story about Emmett that I would have half listened to. But no, she decided to be persistent today.

"I did not drop off the face of the planet. I was just a little. . ." hysterical? Depressed? Crying all the time? A mess? Emotional train wreck? ". . .sad," I finished lamely.

Rosalie made a disbelieving cluck. "Then why did I get a call from Esme asking if you were so depressed that you may need medication or professional help?"

"You did not," I disagreed, knowing full well that Rosalie's middle name was bullshit.

"Actually I really did. They were both really worried about you Bella," Rosalie insisted. And this time, strangely, I believed she was telling the truth. My eyebrows knitted together as we kept running.

"I was fine." I argued, lying my ass off big time. "I am fine," I added as she glanced over at me doubtfully.

"Are you sure? It's not like you to go two weeks without a Facebook update," I rolled my eyes. In her mind she was making a perfectly logical point. And in this generation, it could be considered an excellent point.

"Yes. I'm positive." Then I looked over at Rose and remembered that we were best friends, we actually liked each other and talked. "There was a little bit of a. . .rough patch. . .for the first few days, but I dealt with it." Rough patch. Ha. Internally I was laughing hysterically.

"Must have been pretty bad; Carlisle was looking for the best interventionist if needed." The sad thing was the fact that I knew she was serious. And I really did feel bad for putting them through it. I had seen the concerned looks they were giving me and the few worded questions here and there. I felt bad that I freaked them out.

"But I'm fine now. It's all good," I insisted.

"See," Rosalie started, her voice morphing to smug and totally unserious once again. "This is why I, -unlike you- chose not to sleep with Emmett. Because I am wise and knew better. Which is why I am completely dandy and not emotionally compromised."

"And still a virgin," I pointed out.

Rosalie hummed like it didn't bother her. We passed the mile and half marker and were starting to slow it down. "Well you missed the HEART vs. CRUSH presentation in health last year. And that makes me the smarter one."

"The what vs. what?"

Rosalie smirked, apparently remembering one good time from the horrid year of health. "Don't have sex with someone when you don't really love them, it's just a crush. Wait until you know you truly love them and trust them."

"Well. Didn't I just make the biggest mistake ever?" I retorted with dry sarcasm. "It's totally a bummer Edward doesn't really love me. I'm so dumb."

Rosalie nodded in agreement.

I elbowed her.

"I'm kidding!" she laughed. "I'm kidding!" I laughed with her, because it was completely ridiculous the notion that Edward really just had a crush on me. Rosalie nudged me as we giggled, both of us just needing a pointless laugh.

"I'm really glad Edward loves you," she paused to inhale a deep breath, "as much as he does," she took another gulp of air as we approached the end of the run. "Plus, Emmett volunteered to kick his ass if he hurts you."

I smiled fondly thinking about Emmett. I was really glad Edward and I had great friends that had somehow found each other. They were a very sweet couple, even if I wasn't sure what exactly their relationship status was.

"I'm sure Edward would love to beat Emmett up as well. They're always looking for excuses," I rolled my eyes. My lungs were burning and my heart was pounding hard in my chest as we jogged onto the soccer field and started to walk around to cool down as the girls began to run slowly over, some of them even walking.

"Is it true what they say about soldiers?" Rosalie asked after she had caught her breath. I looked her over suspiciously, noticing the twinkling amusement in her shining blue eyes.

"What?" I asked, knowing I was setting myself up for some type of embarrassment.

Rosalie leaned in, "Do they really know how to use their guns?" she asked suggestively. She wiggled her eyebrows. I laughed and pushed her away from me as she smirked.

Oh Rose. You have no fucking idea.

When I got home I went to chug another bottle of water and shower. Then I put on my swimsuit and grabbed my laptop. My tan had been sorely lacking lately, so I went to lay out in one of our lawn chairs on the patio.

I went to my email, curious to see if Edward's internet connection was working again in Iraq. I missed him. And while I liked the letters we sent each other, they made him seem so far away. But emailing, it felt like he was closer and we were actually talking.

My whole face lit up when I saw that there was a new email in between the colleges that was from my soldier. Eagerly, I opened the email. I squinted at the screen and then slid my sunglasses over my eyes so I could read it.

From: Sergeant E. Masen
Subject: I Miss You
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:09 p.m.
To: Bella Swan

Imagine my surprise when our internet connection finally comes back up and I see I have a picture you sent me. Really? An actual sunflower? I rolled my eyes several times and finally sighed.

Could I get an actual picture?

How's practice going?

From: Bella Swan
Subject: I Miss You More
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:30 p.m
To: Sergeant E. Masen

Well. . .I have nothing to say in response to your eye roll. I suppose it was justified.

I'll find one later. Patience is an utmost virtue Masen.

Practice is going fine. I enjoy having power.

From: Sergeant E. Masen
Subject: I Doubt That
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:33 p.m.
To: Bella Swan

Patience. . .eh, it can kiss my ass for all I care.

You enjoy taking charge? Oh the possibilities…

Do you have any particular time you want me to request a leave for? The farther away the longer I'd get.

From: Bella Swan
Subject: Why Did You Not Mention This Sooner?
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:37 p.m
To: Sergeant E. Masen

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Would you care to explain why you failed to remind me that you had vacation time? It may have been a comforting though about a month ago, you jackass.

From: Sergeant E. Masen
Subject: Should I Be Glad I'm 8000 Miles Away?
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:41 p.m.
To: Bella Swan

I'm sorry snicker doodle my mind occupies a very nice residence in that gutter.

Would I care to explain? No. Not particularly.

But if you really want an explanation. . .it may or may not have slipped my mind. . .

From: Bella Swan
Subject: Oh Yeah
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:44 p.m
To: Sergeant E. Masen

Slipped your mind?

Seriously?

You annoy me.

From: Sergeant E. Masen
Subject: Seven Word Emails Scare Me
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:46 p.m.
To: Bella Swan

Yes. Slipped my mind. . .

I may annoy you, but you love me all the more for it (:

From: Bella Swan
Subject: They Better
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:49 p.m
To: Sergeant E. Masen

Shut up.

From: Sergeant E. Masen
Subject: You're So Cute
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:51 p.m.
To: Bella Swan

Technically, I'm not talking, I'm typing. So, I physically cannot shut up.

From: Sergeant E. Masen
Subject: I Know You're Still On…
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:57 p.m.
To: Bella Swan

Okay. That was a joke made very distastefully.

I don't blame you for the online silence.

I'm sorry I forgot to ask you. . .but I'm asking you now if that makes it any better?

From: Bella Swan
Subject: Very Distasteful
Date: 25, August 2008, 3:59 p.m
To: Sergeant E. Masen

I'm not that mad. . .not that I'm taking back that I called you annoying. You are. But I suppose if you can put up with me I'll let this slide. . . (:

Get off whenever you can, (STOP SMIRKING) I'll take whatever I can get.

From: Sergeant E. Masen
Subject: Can't Blame a Guy…
Date: 25, August 2008, 4:02 p.m.
To: Bella Swan

I'll let you know when I get time approved.

I've gotta go catch some sleep, so I have to log off.

Have a good week.

I love you.

From: Bella Swan
Subject: Yes I Can. And I Will.
Date: 25, August 2008, 4:04 p.m
To: Sergeant E. Masen

Love you too.

Stay safe.

I smiled as I pressed send and then closed my laptop. I closed my eyes and lied back against the chair, letting the sun warm my body relaxingly. It was comforting to know that while Edward was thousands of miles away, we were both under the same sun, feeling its warmth.

I wasn't angry with Edward for not reminding me that he had leave and we wouldn't be apart for a year. On the other hand, I was actually sort of happy. Don't get me wrong, it would have spared me a few rounds of tears knowing I would see him sooner than a year. But the fact that he had forgot meant that he had been completely here during his leave, not thinking about the army when we were together.

I just liked giving him a hard time. I missed him so much. Joking back and forth and mocking each other, that's what we did, and to have that back, even for a half hour over email. . .well it was nice. I was learning to cope. People who loved someone in the military, they took what they could get, and I was beginning to do so as well.

Before Edward had arrived I didn't realize how much I was missing. I thought his letters were amazing and I was just fortunate to be getting those. But now that he had come I realized how much was missing. For some reason, I thought that because we had fallen in love I would somehow be in more frequent communication than before he came. But now, I was starting to realize that Edward had already been trying really hard in communicating with me through his letters and other emails before we met. It was a cute thought; didn't make me feel much better, but it helped.

As I laid in the sun that would ultimately lead to my demise due to the inevitable cause of skin cancer, I thought about the conversation we just had. I wish we were able to talk more than we did.

There were so many times I wanted Edward to come home, they all ran through my mind the instant I read the email. I wanted him home for Christmas with me. I wanted him at Thanksgiving. I wanted him to see me play in one of my soccer games. I wanted him to go to prom, or see me graduate. I wanted him home on Valentine's Day. I didn't want to get my hopes up or start planning for any of the occasions because it could always change, and that's why I told him to pick. And in the end it didn't really matter when he asked for time off, I just wanted to see him.

It had been one month and I was already starting to feel something I had never experienced before. Many women and men before me had experienced it, but it was completely new to me. And I was definitely not enjoying it thus far. I wished I'd never have to feel it.

I was sexually deprived.

So here I am; a total virgin. And then here comes along Edward who really, he's so sexy it's not even laughable. I may not be stellar at math, but I can definitely figure out the answer to those two put together. So here I am no, a virgin no longer. Sweet. Yeah, we had an awesome week of sex together, that made me realize what I had been missing all those years. And now. . .I was back to missing it.

It was a good run.

Sex wasn't the only reason I was eager to see Edward again. But don't get me wrong, it was a big part of it. Sex with Edward was mind blowing. It was so mind blowing that it should have a different name completely. And I was really fucking missing it.

After the sun went down farther I decided getting a tan was useless. I slid into a beach dress and grabbed my laptop from under the chair and went sitting at the counter on a stool with a hunting magazine under his gaze. He had just got home from work and was most likely on call judging from his attire. He looked up at me as I walked in through the sliding door and shut it behind me.

"How was practice?" he asked after we greeted each other. I sat my laptop down and went into the fridge to find some type of drink.

"Fun," I reported, distracted. I couldn't choose between pop or juice. . .or both.

Carlisle nodded in acknowledgement. I went over to the counter with my can of Sprite. "Were you talking to Edward?"

"For a little bit."

"Anything new?"

"Nothing of interest," I shrugged as I opened the can and was met with a satisfying pop.

Carlisle didn't say anything for a little bit. We sat in silence, me drinking my soda and Carlisle looking intently at an article about a dead pheasant. I was about to run upstairs and change, but when I made a move to straighten up, Carlisle spoke up.

"Do you think you're going to go to the cemetery in October?" His voice was reluctant, like he was unsure that this was the right time to be asking. I froze and slowly frowned.

October was my dad Charlie's birthday. This year he would be turning 40. I had yet to go visit either of them since the funeral, and even then I don't really remember. I didn't want go and I hated it when anyone mentioned it to me. Like last winter when Rose asked if I was going to visit my mom for her birthday.

"No," I said with certainty. There was no way I would be going to Ohio this year.

"Bella, you know, Esme and I could go with you…we could help y-" he stopped talking when he saw me shaking my head profusely.

"No." I repeated. And I did the bitchy thing to do. I walked out of the room without further discussion, putting a stop to his heart felt attempts. I could hold myself together; I had gotten pretty good at it actually, but it's hard to stay in one piece when someone's tugging at you.

Truth was there was only one person who I would go with. And he was on the other side of the world.


I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
Broken, Lifehouse


-You're gonna love next chapter. Promise. Some of you were wondering why Rose hadn't been around, but here she is! Who missed her?
-I had my first golf meet today...Bella and I are alike in many ways, but she's a helluva better golfer than I. In fact, I'm going to wallow in shame.
-Happy early Easter! I think I'll be posting Easter Monday? Unless I end up going to a meet. (I know; what the hell. Golf on a day off of school?)
-And since I never seem to get around it, thank you for you amazing reviews! I read them all and smile the whole time. I am so lucky to have ya'll(: