Hello and welcome... to the insanity that is the ninth chapter of The Tormentors In Person! Because of my promise that this would get funny again, I wrote some totally off-the-wall stuff in an attempt to make y'all laugh. I'm afraid I may have tried a bit too hard, but I hope it still gets the job done.

Link: I dislike you with a passion...

Me: -death glare- Shut up before I break your leg or something. I'm the writer, so I can do that.

Link: ...

Me: That's better!! ^^

Malon: Am I crazy-

Sora: YES!

Malon: -or do you have something better to do than threaten Link?

Me: Hmm... like what??

Malon: Oh, I don't know... a disclaimer, maybe?

Me: -snaps fingers- Oh yeah! I almost forgot! GAARA!!!

Gaara: My turn again?

Sora: Apparently.

Gaara: -sighs- Alright... destinykeyblade does not own any of the characters in this fanfiction other than Angel, the Dark Master, and his minions.

Me: And how do you know the Dark Master is a he??

Gaara: Well...

Me: That's right, you don't! You assumed! You have no idea who this mysterious character is!

Sora: So who is it?

Me: ...........I don't know.

Everyone: -anime fall-

Me: -giggles- Heehee... Whoopsie. Anyhow, thanks as always to Kiarra-Chan, who reviews every chapter of this insane little story.


In the silence of the empty Water Temple, time seemed to pass excruciatingly slowly. Angel had noticed this almost immediately, and after a couple of hours that felt like five, she was beginning to get restless.

Unfortunately for her, Morpha and the other monsters were still outside, waiting impatiently for the twosome that had escaped them to emerge. Therefore, the Earth girl was stuck inside the temple... with a whining Hylian.

I know what you're all thinking... and no, that isn't a typo. Link, Hyrule's hero, the defender of the innocent, the - well, you get the idea - was whining. And Angel was sick and tired of it.

"I cannot believe this! I simply cannot believe this! This is so wrong! I'm a hero; I can't get hurt! Heroes do not get hurt!"

The next time he opens his mouth, I'm gonna punch him, Angel thought savagely, her eye twitching as she looked at her blonde companion. Then, sighing, she looked towards the temple's exit. I wonder how Lily's doing...

~Earlier That Day~

"...Okay, I'm bored," Lily announced to thin air. Still in the Wallmaster's grip, she could do nothing to relieve her boredom. Well, nothing other than poke the giant hand. And that's exactly what she did.

Sadly, the creature (if it could be called that) did not respond to her poking in any way, which greatly dissapointed the dark brown-haired teenager. Lily sighed, quickly becoming bored again.

"I wonder where this thing is taking me?" she asked out loud. As if to answer her question, a sinister-looking castle appeared on the horizon, its spires lit by-

"Lightning? On a sunny day? Okay, this is getting to be waaaaaaaaaay too similar to a cartoon." Lily said. Time slowed, finally coming to a complete stop. Lily wriggled out of the Wallmaster's grasp and looked around, her hand on her hips.

"You listen here, little miss authoress! I absolutely refuse to be a character in a story that's like a cartoon! Either you fix this, or I quit!" she shouted angrily.

A voice from nowhere replied, also angry. "You can't quit! You signed a contract!!"

Lily crossed her arms and put her nose in the air. "I'll have you know that that contract's in my pocket at this very moment ant that I can rip it up at any given time."

"But why the heck would you do that?! You came to me and begged for a job!"

The brunette let out a quiet 'Hmph!' before looking around. "There are other places to work, you know," she informed the authoress as she surveyed the surrounding landscape. "I don't have to put up with you."

Silence reigned for a few moments as the writer thought about things. Finally, she burst out "FINE!!! I'll fix the stupid story!!"

Lily smirked triumphantly. "That's more like it, destinykeyblade. I knew you'd see it my way. ....So how are you gonna fix it?"

Now it was the authoress's turn to smirk. "Hehehe.... the Wallmaster has carried you to a corner of Hyrule that nobody's ever seen before... AND IT'S STORMING! SO YOU'RE ALL WET AND THE LIGHTNING BELONGS THERE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Lily's eyes grew wide. "Hey, that's not-" she started to protest, but it was too late. The story had started again.

The rain poured down on Lily and the Wallmaster as the hand approached its destination. Barely visible against the storm-darkened sky loomed an ominous black castle, its towering spires lit by flashes of lightning.

~About The Time Angel Starts To Wonder~

"OW! What'd you do that for?!"

Lily laughed and began doing a happy dance. Which was really a rather interesting thing to watch, seeing as how she was trapped inside a cage.

You see, the master of the Black Castle, (yep, that's what it's called... how original.) whom Lily had yet to see, had ordered his minions to lock her up and watch her so she couldn't escape. The dark master's followers, clueless though they were, happened to be extremely loyal and followed direction without a second thought. ...Or a first, for that matter.

So there Lily was, sitting in her little cage, amusing herself by throwing rocks at the minions. Where'd she get the rocks? Her pocket! No, not the one that had the contract in it. And why did she have rocks in he not-contract-holding pocket? Well... I honestly don't know. Lily's weird.

Anyway, though, that's how Lily was doing. Too bad we can't tell Angel all this... But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?


Link: Why did you make me quote Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends??

Malon: She didn't!

Link: Oh yes she did!

Malon: -hands on hips- When?

Me: I cannot believe this! I simply cannot believe this! You can't believe it? I can't believe it! Don't you like, live here or something? Look, Mr. Smartypants, maybe YOU should lead the way. Okay, I will. I'll... -goes on reciting all the dialogue from Dinner Is Swerved-

Gaara: ...That's just sad. She shouldn't know the entire episode by heart like that.

Sora: You said it, man.

Malon: Hey, wait a sec. How is she going to reply to 'Arra-Chan's review if she's busy quoting a cartoon?

Sora: She can't.

Malon: Which means...

Gaara: We'll have to do it for her!

Link: This'll be fun...

Kiarra-Chan - Both! XD Wow, and all this time I thought Sora belonged to Cassy... -shrugs- Guess he's changed ownership since the last time I talked to her lol. Cool! A compliment on the ending! Yay! ^^ Hmm... Snack Cakes, huh? That never even crossed my mind. I did consider Ramen Noodles, (blame the Naruto fanfics) but the mushrooms just seemed to fit better.

Me: -finally finished reciting- And now, readers of my story, I have a question for you! For a while now, something has been flying around in the emptiness that is my head, and it won't quit bugging me. Therefore, I would like to present this something to you. It happens to be an idea for the way this story will go. The idea is to have the teensiest little bit of romance. Just a one-sided thing, really; it won't be a really big part of the story or anything. Anyway, if you decide to review, (this is not directed at you, Kiarra, 'cause you always do) please let me know if I should do that or not. Thank you! destinykeyblade signing off!

Link: -muttering- She's such a dork...