For those of you not following me on Twitter, I have been on hiatus for a few weeks due to a low self esteem in writing. Only so much a teenager can handle with high school and sports and activities. My English teacher and mentor also passed away on May 9th, and it really shook me up.
But alas, the sun is shining, the golf course has been parred, and life is good for the time being.
As soon as the words "creep, disproportioned nose guy" left my mouth I wanted to instantly cover it. But unfortunately my hands were currently being held by a very strong man. The gross feeling I got when I talked to the man with Alice returned to my stomach. I desperately hoped I hadn't told him anything he shouldn't have known. Because from the looks of him, he didn't look like he was on our side.
"Hello Ms. Swan," he grinned. His tone and eyes did not match up with the plastered smile. He regarded me coolly.
I wanted to slap the disturbing look off of his face. I looked warily from the man over at Edward. "Edward, do you know him?" I asked in confusion.
Edward was staring at the man with a locked jaw. It was evident that he seemed to have some recognition for the man. But instead of saying anything he moved the angle of his gun to point at the new man.
The man continued to smile like Edward was a cherished son...
No.
I really hoped this wasn't his father. I didn't know much about Edward's parents, he was fond of his mother but definitely not his father. "But of course! I have not seen you in years though!"
Edward's eyes noticeably tightened. "Let her go," he demanded with a scary calmness that seemed hard to disregard. His years in the army had obviously taught him well. "She has nothing to do with this."
One of the men who Edward had forgotten about, spoke up. He was a giant African American with a very low voice. He was wearing a black stocking hat over his head, but he didn't look friendly. I cringed as I heard a click of a gun. . .this one wasn't from Edward. "The bitch could have everything to do wit it. How'd you know?"
Edward turned to glare at the man murderously. "I can guess."
The weird nose guy who still remained nameless spoke commandingly. "Alex, put down your weapon. This isn't that type of visit. We're here in peace."
Edward looked like he would die before believing that. The gun remained up. But now, he was addressing my captor. "Let the fuck go of my girlfriend. Now."
"Who's to say you won't run off? No. Having her otherwise...occupied, keeps you at full attention," The giant man with a hidden gun piped up.
"Besides, you know full well that we cannot harm her," the other man added, still keeping up his cheery front. It was pissing me off. It was also angering me that they knew exactly how to push on Edward's buttons and make him react. They had me.
Edward snorted. "You know that's bullshit. So why don't you tell me why the fuck you're here." Bullshit?
Why does life suck?
"Calm down Masen." The man named Alex commanded with mocking in his voice. Edward cocked the gun at him, raising an eyebrow daringly. The creepy man sighed.
"You know why we're here Edward. We don't want to harm you. We are here to give you a warning." Well. . .as long as the creepy killer men didn't want to harm us, then we were good. I huffed angrily.
Edward was growing impossibly madder. "Why would you bother, motherfucker?"
"I really wish you would not address me by that name. I am here to warn you that there is a hit on you, a billion dollar hit. It will be activated 131. The V found it only fair that you be alerted. All Cons and Sens will be gaming. King is gone. Fair game was announced. Activation expires 704." He lost me at billion dollar hit. But Edward listened intently, full interested in what the man was saying. I watched as Edward's eyes flashed with momentary panic. Whatever nose job guy was saying was definitely enough to worry my sergeant boyfriend.
And when my fearless warrior of a boyfriend was worried...well, it was enough to raise my concern let's just say.
Edward nodded in acknowledgement but I could see his mind was already reeling. "Why 131?" For some reason he trusted the information he was receiving even though he very noticeably was not fond of the messenger.
"You know," the man said patronizingly, "One year. If the target remains untouched for allotted time the game will end. In which case the target may step up and claim his prize. If done no harm will come." Edward nodded, looking grim. I was so lost. Prize? Game?
"And if the winnings are renounced?"
Even though I had no fucking clue why the men were now civil, I didn't think anything bad would happen with these men. But the way Edward looked, panicked and grave led me to believe that something was definitely brewing in the future. And it didn't look too peachy.
The still nameless man shook his head with certainty. "Out of the question."
"And what would happen if word gets out before 131?" Edward frowned, considering this. His gun had lowered but still very easily accessible.
"Well." Everyone looked over at Alex as he spoke, "we're about to find out now aren't we?"
And then quick as a fucking whip Alex had pulled out the mystery gun that appeared much similar to Edward's. Edward didn't hesitate. In less then a second, his gun was back up and pointing right at Alex's. "Get down!" Edward yelled before a shot rang out.
I had never been as thankful for my reflexes as I was at that moment. I didn't see what the shot was aimed at. I ignored the clench in my heart at the possibility. Instead, I swiftly swung my leg up backwards. It hit just what I had been aiming for and I was instantly released. The man whose balls I kicked fell back on the road moaning in pain. Satisfaction coursed through me.
This was quickly followed by terror.
Then I remembered Edward's command and I squatted to the ground hurriedly. I was only a foot away from Edward and thank God he was still standing. My ears were still ringing from the gun shot when another one was fired.
"Get to the car!" Edward yelled over another gun shot. I looked up to see him still standing his gun pointed at the two men. The other creepy guy sighed and resignedly pulled out his own hand gun.
It was three to two. But since I was the only one who didn't have a gun it was a not-so-respectable-three-to-one. Edward went in there guns a blazing though. I stood up but not fully and just as soon as I started to run behind him the shots started to ring. This time they were coming swiftly one after another.
I started to run to the truck as the sound of bullets being shot rung through my ears. I glanced behind me to see that Edward was shuffling skillfully guarding my vulnerable back. I threw myself into the cab of the truck with fear and realized Edward had left the keys in the ignition.
Adrenaline and fear coursing through my blood, I chanced a glance through the window at Edward. Luckily, one of the cars was parked near the truck and he had taken shelter on the side of it. Alex was on the ground unmoving and the other man who had been standing next to him was clutching his shoulder, but still shooting. A window on the Mercedes shattered and I yelped.
I started the ignition, my fingers shaking badly. The engine revving was Edward's cue. Not turning his back he ran backwards to the truck, still firing the gun. I waited seconds before Edward slid into the car, hardly opening the door. "Go!" he yelled.
And go I did. I peeled out of there like a crazy man without a license. People were shooting at Edward and as a result I bulleted out of there like a bat from hell.
"Are you okay?" he asked breathlessly. I couldn't look at him. I was too busy trying to get on a road while doing 80.
"Who were those people?" I shrieked.
"Slow down babe," Edward ignored the question. He kept looking back through the window to make sure there were no signs of the gun man. "I don't think they're following us."
In turn, I ignored his request and pushed the pedal down farther. There were no other cars on the road so I was going to do whatever the hell I wanted. "Who the fuck are they? Why were the shooting at us?"
"They weren't shooting at you. They were shooting at me," he clarified. He was distractedly doing something with his gun, loading it or some shit.
"Why? Did you kill that man?" I demanded far too loudly. My voice was hilariously full of hysteria.
Edward looked up from his gun. He looked at me seriously. "Bella, calm down. You're safe now."
"Don't tell me what I am!" I exclaimed hotly. I was pretty pissed off especially now that Edward was seemingly safe and not answering my question. "Did you kill him?"
"I don't know," he admitted, frowning. "Seriously snicker doodle, it's okay now."
"If you're going to be shot at I can do whatever the fuck I want with the adrenaline as a result of it!"
"Okay, okay, point accepted," he surrendered. He was way too calm for this, where I was dropping the F bomb every other sentence. "Proceed to drive us to our death," he added sarcastically.
"Really?" I asked flatly, then my voice quickly elevated to shouting once more. "We're going to talk about death right now? I'm a damn good driver! How about you tell me why the fuck you have people trying to kill you!"
"I can't tell you," he answered, not looking forward to my reaction. I couldn't tell if he was apologetic or not.
"Let me guess. Because then they'd have to kill me to?" I asked bitingly, glaring out the windshield.
Edward said nothing.
You've got to be fucking kidding me…
"Holy shit! Who were those people? The mob?" I was going to continue to use this volume level until I got a damn answer.
Again. Edward said nothing.
I was prepared to wait in awkward, angry silence.
Edward cracked after about a minute, his voice soft and pleading, "Bella, there are some things in my past. I can't help it. I can't be worrying about you while I'm gone. So, I cannot tell you what just happened. All I can say is that I swear to God I'm going to keep you safe. Please don't ask because you know I'd do anything for you if you asked me."
All the adrenaline and fire that had been running through me was suddenly extinguished with his pained confession. I grew silent as I took in his seriousness. My energy was gone. I had none left. I was overcome with the biggest feeling of exhaustion that I had ever experienced. It had been way too busy of a day. If Edward wasn't going to tell me then I was just done. I wasn't up to arguing.
I had finally visited my parent's graves. Of course that event would be eclipsed by a shoot out.
There was only so much I could take. I was done.
"Are you coming to my soccer game on Monday?" I asked emotionlessly. I eased my foot off the pedal until we were driving along at a respectable 40 miles per hour.
My question completely threw him off guard. In a baffled voice he asked, ". . .Bella?"
I sighed tiredly. "If you're willing to act like nothing just happened, then so be it. I can pretend too." What I was saying completely contradicted my thoughts. But if this is how Edward wanted it, I would play along. . .mostly because I was resentful. I hoped he would sense that I was still pissed. . .but I doubted it. Especially if he was serious about what he said.
Edward sighed as well. "I'd love to go to your soccer game."
And I knew, no matter what I did, or how much I pleaded, Edward was not going to explain to me what had just happened. Nothing I said would force him to tell me who those men were willingly. I was dolefully resigned; I wasn't going to know why there were men trying to kill my boyfriend. I was safe. I trusted Edward with my body and soul, if he was confident that I was safe, for the moment that would have to do.
Logically, anyone would think I had the right to know. And I did. Edward knew that. Anyone would have agreed with me, but I wasn't going to argue with him. Something bad had happened with Edward before I met him. I knew he would tell me eventually, but for now, I had to trust him when he said that he was keeping me safe. After all, that's what trusting someone with your life means.
People could call me an idiot. I was one. I could accept that. But those people didn't have the absolute faith in Edward that I did. They didn't know him like I did.
Plus I honestly expected that he would crack in a couple hours and tell me anyway.
It went against everything in my being to let something slide. Especially a goddamn shooting. I was that annoying girl who got the answers she wanted because she was annoying and persistent. I knew if I really wanted to figure everything out, I could get Edward to tell me. But it wasn't just about me any more. If I want people to treat me like I'm in an adult relationship then I was going to have to start thinking more about Edward.
I didn't want to ruin the time we had together. He was here for just barely two and half days. I had to push this shooting out of my head for the time being. I know, I know, but don't judge. I was doing what I had to in order not to weaken my relationship with Edward. He said he'd do anything for me. In truth, it was the same for me. I would do anything Edward asked. I wasn't going to be double standard bitch. I was not going to bug him about this.
I mentally rolled my eyes. If he doesn't want to talk about the fact we were just in a scary gun show down and would rather discuss the fucking economy. . .well. Whatever.
So. Edward went to my soccer game like nothing had happened.
I was quietly pissed about the last part of that statement.
I was frustrated that my little plan did not seem to be working, but again, I warded off those thoughts because Edward was here for one more day. I wasn't going to be furious at him when we could be having amazing sex. I would wait until he was on a plane and I got over the inevitable sadness; then you bet I'd be mad as hell at him. But for now, we were pretending. I couldn't send my boyfriend to war angry at him; it was something that I absolutely would never do. Ever.
I may be immature but I knew what it meant to love a soldier.
I went to the soccer field about an hour before Edward, to warm up with the girls. When Edward and Esme arrived the coach had given us a five minute break to stretch. It was a cold autumn day, so I threw on the soccer sweatshirt and jogged across the field to say hi.
Edward had found Elliot and they were talking about something. I arrived and went to stand next to Edward. It appeared they were on friendly terms but I did raise a pointed eyebrow at both of them.
"Hey Bella," they said in unison. My eyebrows went down when I didn't sense any bad blood between the two of them.
Edward, looking devilishly handsome in his college's sweatshirt and jeans, looked back at Elliot. "So, Elliot, do you own a gun?"
I frowned and my shoulders sagged. I looked over at Edward, and he sure as hell knew he was getting the look. "Yeah," Elliot shrugged, "my dad's a cop and I hunt all the time."
Edward nodded expecting that much. "Good. Stick with her," he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his side.
My eyes bugged out, "What?" I hadn't realized I had said it the same time Elliot had, with just as much shock. Edward glanced over at me for a spilt second before looking back at Elliot.
"Keep an eye on her for the next nine months. You see a shady guy even within eye sight, you shoot him."
My head fell limply fell with agitation.
Edward really did have a way with people.
Elliot's face scrunched up in confusion. I was still confused as to why he was even here. He looked at Edward like he clarifying with a six year old. "In school?" he asked slowly.
Edward nodded, undeterred. "Yes."
Elliot blinked rapidly at him. He was judging whether or not my boyfriend was serious. I, on the other hand knew he was completely serious; and was completely aggravated. "On campus?" he asked again as if Edward would realize what he was saying.
Edward looked to be getting impatient. "Is that a problem?"
Elliot exhaled loudly, finally understanding Edward wasn't joking. "Dude. It's illegal to have a gun in school. I would get expelled, and probably arrested. And then I'd have to go to counseling for years."
"Use your connections," Edward suggested.
"What damn connections?" Elliot asked loudly. A soccer mom glanced over at him, a scowl in place. He sheepishly lowered his voice. "I don't have any connections!"
Edward thought about this for a few seconds. "Rose's mom," he remembered, "she hooked up with the principal. . .use that."
Elliot blinked. "Cool." He nodded at both of us and walked past us to where a blonde girl in our grade was sitting.
What the hell?
My life was beginning to feel like a bad movie.
I looked at Edward and sighed. "What?" he asked with the hint of amusement. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, giving him a small smile showing that I thought he was annoying. With that I slipped out from under his arm and ran back to the other side of the field where the team was gathering leaving Edward confused. I could definitely tell that he wasn't as socialized as he had been towards the end of his previous leave. He was just so damned cute I couldn't be mad for the time being.
Edward did explain that the gun thing was an aboslute last resort, he wasn't to shoot unless shot at. Edward was just being intimidating because...well that's my man.
After the soccer game -which we kicked ass in- it was already late and Edward and I went back home on his motorcycle. Esme had some work to do at her office, something about a rehearsal dinner gone covering an unfortunately long shift at the hospital so we had the house to ourselves. So, I saved water and showered with my soldier.
A very long…very loud shower.
Afterwards it was late so we decided to call it an early night. Edward would be leaving tomorrow morning with Esme. She had a conference in the cities so she could take him to the airport. I would have loved to take him to the airport and miss half a day of school, but I had two tests, both in the morning, and one of them couldn't be taken at another time. So he'd be leaving before I'd normally even wake up.
And truth be told, I think I was taking him leaving better this time. I don't know why. I knew it would never be easy to know he was going away from me to war. But maybe with time it would become more manageable and I would be able to handle it better.
Edward locked the door to my bedroom after he finished packing the small amount of clothes he had brought in a duffle bag. I watched silently, lying in bed, fingering the dog tags in my hands. He flipped off the light switch and crawled into the bed next to me. Only the bedside lamp remained on.
"Well," Edward sighed, "we've had quite the past couple of days," he chuckled. I nodded in agreement.
I scooted over closer to him. "Maybe next time you come home we should just go to the movies," I suggested, curling up under his arm. Edward laughed.
"Come on snicker doddle, what's the fun of that?" he grinned crookedly.
"I think I've had enough living on the edge for awhile," I admitted, playfully elbowing his ribs.
"That's respectable," he agreed, laughter in his eyes. I was glad to have my Edward back. I loved and missed him everyday, but he was here for the night and I was the happiest girl in the world.
After a few comfortable minutes of silence Edward spoke, "I'm sorry I haven't been more sensitive. How have you been doing since the cemetery? It was type of an overshadowed event…" he trailed off.
I shrugged. I had too distracted to think about it, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. "Eh, I'm fine. It was something good I guess. I don't know exactly what to think about the dead, and Heaven and God anymore. I'm a sucky Christian. But I can't just say that going to visit them made me completely better."
Edward smiled as I looked over at him. He leaned over to kiss my head. "You're not a sucky Christain babe. I would never expect seeing the gravestones would suddenly make the hurt go away. I know it doesn't. But I know God exists, there's not a doubt in my mind."
I waited skeptically, "Why?"
Edward grinned softly. His fingers played with my hair as he spoke. "I thought the same thing you were thinking now, up until about a year ago. But then I got a letter. And I thought to myself, I must be a fucking lucky man if this amazing, caring woman would take the time of day to write me a letter. And after that, my resolve only grew stronger."
Edward's words warmed my heart and made my face glow. I smiled softly and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "Well aren't you a sweet talker," I cooed with a smirk.
"One has a lot of time to think of such things in the desert," he winked. I grinned, secretly flattered.
"Well," I started slyly. I moved up onto my knees and moved one of each side of this torso. Edward got this lazy smirk when he saw where I was going with this. "I suppose I could give you something to think about…" I trailed off. I pressed my chest flush against his and leaned in close so I was inches away from his lips.
"Trust me, it's already crossed my mind a few times," he whispered with a smirk. I let out a giggle as he swiftly flipped me onto my back and started to attack my mouth with his.
We made love well into the night. Finally we were both too tired to stay awake any longer. But I didn't want to go to bed; because I knew when I woke up he'd be gone.
I curled into Edward's warm muscular. We were both lying still but I could feel his heart beating fast like mine. I bit my tongue as Edward's breathing started to even out, traveling rapidly towards the lull of sleep.
"Edward?" I asked quietly. Edward hummed lightly, acknowledging he heard me. "Will you. . .stay awake a little longer? I just, don't want to lose any time with you," I whispered. I craned my neck up to look at his face. He had the softest smile on his tired face.
"We both need to get some sleep babe," Edward reminded gently. I gnawed on my lower lip, my eyes wide as I stared at him.
"Have I ever told you how my life has changed so much since I met you? I can't remember anything feeling like I do when I'm in your arms," I whispered. I reached my hand up to touch his cheek.
He caught my hand with his and held it on his cheeks, "Before you Bella, I had no reason to live. I really didn't. But now, you've become the key to my survival. I have never tried harder to stay safe, because I want moments like these until I'm old man in a nursing home."
Edward leaned to kiss my lips promisingly. "For now though, let's just fall asleep. I hate saying goodbye; I hate what it does to both of us." I nodded and placed a kiss back on his lips before snuggling back into him and pulling the blanket up.
"Love you," he mumbled sleepily. His arms tightened around my body.
"You sure as hell better," I muttered back. Edward laughed quietly before we both drifted quickly off to sleep.
Or so I thought. I was on the brink of slumber when Edward's voice barely dared to whisper, "Thank you Bella."
I managed a quiet grumble out, "For what?"
"For being everything I need."
I had the most restful night of sleep with Edward there. I hadn't been able to sleep as well since July. I couldn't remember the dreams I had, I forgot them before I even woke up, but whatever they were, they were good ones.
I was woken up from my slumber by the beds of my feet being tickled. For a moment I thought I was back in Ohio, because that's how my mom used to wake me up from school.
My eyes fluttered lazily open. They focused on Edward sitting in the dim lighting on the edge of my bed. He grinned crookedly when he saw I was awake. I blinked, confused. Then I looked over at the digital clock and saw that is just barely 6 in the morning. I jolted up into a sitting position and began to furiously rub the sleep out of my eyes.
"I'm coming, just, give me…I, I, here, one sec! I'll-" I looked around the room, disoriented. Edward interrupted me and slid up to sit where I was sitting.
"No, you're going to stay in bed," he hushed. I stared at him, my eyes beginning to prick. He leaned in and wrapped his arms all the way around my body tightly. "We're not saying goodbye," he assured me.
"Just see you later," I finished for him. I fought off the tears. I had cried enough last time and if I started to cry now it would just make life so much harder for both of us.
"I love you," he whispered after a minute of silence.
"I love you too."
Edward gently unwound himself from me. I knew it was time for him to go. I felt so helpless watching him sling his duffel bag over his shoulder. It sucked knowing there was nothing I could do to make him stay. There was nothing he could do either.
"Be good Sergeant," I called softly as he started to walk out of the room. There were too many things going unsaid between us, but I couldn't bring myself to care in that instant.
Edward looked back, a thousand memories of our various times together running through our minds. I knew he wasn't handling this as easily as he liked me to believe. But he put on a smile.
"Always am," he winked playfully. I smiled sadly as he turned and walked out of my bedroom door. I just continued to stare at the door, silent.
And just like that, he belonged again to the army.
With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.
And you're lying real still,
But your heart beat is fast just like mine.
Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.
And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.
Your breathe, it is dear. So please stay near.
Awake, Secondhand Serenade
-Read message on the top if you haven't. I would also like to add that I do not have an updating schedule (it's normally every Friday or so) I'll do what I can when I can.
-WARNING: I never claimed that this was realistic story. If you don't like it, don't read it. I'm sorry but it is completely impossible to please everyone, and fellow writers know this. I write this for me and the only reason I post is because there are some of you that I owe it to.
-Next two chapters are Alice filled. I'll leave you to your speculations.
