This chapter is all mafia stuff, btw.
Some people might have thought that Edward was joking when he told me that his father had been a mafia king and the fault of his mother's death. But I knew, looking into his depthless green eyes that he was utterly serious. Edward would never joke about something like his mother's death.
I frowned and inhaled slowly, watching Edward carefully. His eyes were staring at me, setting me on fire. "I'm not going to say anything. Just tell me what you can."
Edward nodded, and though he didn't show much relief due to my statement, I could see the dent between his eyebrows smoothing out just the slightest. I could be a difficult person to have a conversation with at times. He knew that. But I hoped he knew that I would never joke or make sarcastic comments about something so important.
"My mom was 16 when she got caught up with my dad. My dad was thirty fucking two at the time. Apparently he had never heard of the divide by two and add eight rule…" Edward's voice rang with absolute disgust and hatred, "anyway. Her parents sucked. She was looking for a way out. And my dad was that way out for her.
"I don't know what exactly happened that made her go to him. The motherfucker probably swept her off her feet or some shit. Mafia men are the master of lies. Needless to say, I was conceived shortly after. Well, the man had the heir to his fat ass fortune and he was good. He kept her around and then I was finally born and things went way down hill for my mom."
I pursed my lips together and continued to gaze at this man in front of me. But he wasn't in front of me, he was 8000 miles away. There was so much more to him than what met the eye. He'd barely begun his story and I already knew that Edward definitely did not have the childhood I did. His voice was bitter when he mentioned his father even in passing, it was with absolute loathing. I almost didn't want to know why he hated him so much. Almost.
But keeping true to my promise of not interrupting I kept my lips tightly shut and continued to listen. Edward trusted me. I was so not going to be a bitch. I wasn't going lie and start speaking when he was talking about something that made him the way he is today.
Edward continued with his tale, not meeting my eyes, instead his eyes far off in some land of deep thought. "He forced her to move into his huge ass penthouse apartment. But did she get a nice room with decent furnishings? No way in hell. She got to share the room with the washer and drier. He put a single fucking mattress on the floor like she was a dog. And that's where I grew up too. In a small laundry room that was fucking freezing in the winter.
"I rarely saw my father… mostly because I was rarely allowed to leave the room. For the first five years of my life I grew to fear the man because my mother did. The only times I saw him before second grade that I can remember were when he was dragging my mom out of the room and she would go fearfully and silently. I would sit alone on the one mattress and listen to what was happening in the other room. I didn't want what was going on, but I knew my mom was in pain because she always cried after he fucked her."
My heart broke as the scene played through my mind. I could imagine a beautiful young woman, not older than Alice, reading a book to her stunning little boy, giggling with him. And then this horrendous man would come into the cold room and drag the woman off the mattress making the little boy stumble off her lap.
I could see a child with bronze wild hair and wide innocent eyes afraid and alone, wondering where his mother was. Tears stuck my eyes when I thought of a five year old Edward curled up in a corner, shaking with fear of what was being done to his mother. His world. A more heart breaking thought had never entered my mind before. No one loved the precious child other than his mother. He had no one.
Edward kept speaking, totally spaced out and not seeing my reaction to his story. "When I turned 10 was the first time I started to see my dad. He scared me. My mom would yell at him to leave me alone but he would threaten her, promising that he had been far too kind to her and many other men wanted their turn. I had no fucking clue what that meant. But now I could fucking kill him for saying that to a woman who had done nothing but love me.
"My dad told me everything about what he did for a living. I can't remember it now, but I know it was a bunch of shit about him helping the greater good of humanity," he snorted disgustedly, "he told me that one day, all the men in suits would be under my command. I would be like Bill Clinton, he promised me. Everyone would listen to me and respect me one day when he was gone… even my godfather, the guy who looks like he had a nose job who tried to kill me in October, Aaron."
"This continued for three years. He explained to me everything about the mafia. I mean literally, he filled my head with so much shit it's disgusting. He promised me that when I turned 13 I could join them. I could be his apprentice. By 12 I realized I didn't give a fuck about him. My mom had been watching those three years in silent torment and the evening before my 13th birthday we left. We fucking escaped. I was so damn proud of her.
"We moved to a small city that wasn't too small that everyone knew everyone's business but a decent size where we could blend in. I didn't really like any of my friends or my life inChicagoso I was fine with it. My mom got a job waiting tables and we moved into an apartment with the money that she had taken from my dad over the years, waiting for the right time to get away. The next three years were the best ever. Not counting the ones I met you. Our life was awesome. It was quiet granted, but I started to feel normal and forget about my dad. I joined the football team, started playing baseball. I got A's because my mom supported me so much when it came to education. She hadn't finished high school and I sure as hell was going to.
"But one day my dad's people finally caught up with us. I think he may have not been trying too hard too find us because of his twisted soft spot for my mom and he probably hoped I would come back. But his patience wore thin and he sent his men after us. They shot my mom. One to the heart, two to the head. That day they didn't just kill one person, they destroyed my life. It came crashing down around me and I didn't fucking care, I was too numb too care. If they were going to fucking shoot me then I didn't give a fuck."
My mouth fell open in shock. I stared at him, comprehending that everything he was saying was true and probably not with exaggeration. I loved my parents immensely, and when they died I did go into a depression. But not once did I ever think that I didn't want to live. I couldn't imagine in being in so much pain that you don't even care if you live or not. Edward's words were slowly but surely sending me towards tears.
Edward loved so deeply. He put all of his love and adoration into his mother, loving her selflessly and endlessly. He didn't think about what could happen if he lost this person which ultimately would have spared him pain. It never occurred to him to protect himself, which made her horrible death even worse.
That was the problem these days. People didn't love nearly as deeply as they could, because they were afraid of getting harmed or heart broken. As Edward spoke about his mother, it sent a strange sense of assurance through me. I knew Edward had no restraints with his love, however dumb that concept was, and I knew that he loved me with every fiber of his being, with everything he was capable of.
I wanted to say something, tell him I loved him. I wanted to make him stop talking. I wanted to save myself the pain. And that was the difference between me and him. Edward had passed the need to protect himself, and I was still the selfish one. Again, I already knew Edward was a far better person than I was anyway.
"I stuck around the town with that same careless attitude. I didn't care who was after me, as far as I was concerned they could all just go and fuck their selves. I finished high school for no reason other than my mom. My dad had taken away her education; I sure as hell was not going to let him steal mine as well.
"My friends drifted away and I quit all the sports I was in and became a silent shadow. I should have been taken into the state, but everyone knew I could take care of myself. So they left me alone, and I finished high school. With what money was left from what my mom had stolen, which was still a lot, I enrolled into the local state college for a year. The attack on the Twin Towers happened around the same time my mom was killed. I thought if I couldn't stop my own demons, I wanted to stop others, so I joined the army," Edward said in a closing tone.
My mind was spinning with what all Edward had just said. As it buzzed though, I watched him, waiting for something. That was the thing though. Edward wasn't really reacting. He was still sitting cross legged on his bed. But he wasn't look at the web cam; he was staring past it blankly. The whole movement he was making was his jaw, slightly moving.
I was pretty quick on my feet. You know, with a retort or answer. My teachers said I'd be a good lawyer. But I was thinking carefully about I was going to say to him. I was debating if I should say anything at all. I didn't know what to do to ease his torment. I was once again helpless.
But Edward's blank stare was scaring me. I didn't want him to retreat inside of himself with all these newfound feelings ripped open. So, I said the thing I would want to be asked, "What was her name?" I asked gingerly.
Edward's vacuous stare wavered and he blinked a few times before focusing his gave on me. He seemed startled that that is what I had to say. Under his stare I was starting to think that maybe I had said the complete wrong thing and I really was a horrible person.
"Elizabeth," he answered, still vacuous. I was worried that he was going to stay like this, but then a small yet definite smile formed on his face that did not fit with his empty eyes. "Lizzy," he corrected. And then, thank God, there was emotion in his eyes. The green orbs swirled with fondness.
With his slight smile, my own tiny one formed. I could have told him that he was a really unlucky person. Or that what happened shouldn't have happened to him. I could have told him that he shouldn't have been so frivolous with his life. Maybe I could have agreed that his dad sounded like a bastard. But none of those things seemed like they would do any good whatsoever. They would make him remember hatred and pain. I wanted him to remember the love he felt for such an amazing woman. I knew nothing about her, but I knew that if she could raise a son like Edward, she was an alright woman.
"What was she like?"
Edward's word weighed on my shoulders like an anvil all through the week. I couldn't shake his words out of my head for even the slightest of seconds. I thought so much about it one night that I actually had a dream of a woman who looked just like Edward getting shot. His story was the first thing that came to mind when I woke up in the morning and the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep.
I had asked a question because there was a man who I thought was stalking me. Instead of getting an answer, I got Edward's heart breaking story. And now I was as clueless as ever as to what was going on, though I was starting to put things together slowly. I also hated Edward's nameless dead father with a burning passion.
What kind of bastard did that to a 16 year old girl? I placed myself in Elizabeth's shoes. I thought back to my sophomore year in high school and then I imagined getting swept off my feet by someone Carlisle's age and then having a baby at 17. And then living in a small room for 13 years. There was no way in hell I'd be able to do that. But his mom was much smarter; she was able to plan an escape. I saw all of her strength and protectiveness in Edward.
I always thought that all guys were just protective. And I'm sure a great number of them were. But they were protective because they were selfish and jealous. They didn't want their girl with another guy or anything else dangerous because it would hurt them. Edward was extremely protective of me because that's what he knew. That's what he grew up with. He had someone who protected him so incredibly fiercely that he had gotten it entwined in his mind and now was carrying it out with me.
Our conversation about his mother the week before only lasted for a half hour. But I learned so much about her, and I couldn't help but smile as Edward lit up when he spoke about her. He looked like he was an eight year old boy who thought the world of his mother. I was moved by how special of a bond they had together. I was glad Edward had had that in his life.
Alice seemed to notice that I definitely had something on my mind. She declared Smoothie. And when I stared at her like she was on drugs, she looked at me incredulously. Evidently when someone says the word smoothie, the parties involved go and get…you guessed it…smoothies.
So, we went and got smoothies.
We settled into some arm chairs in the corner of the local Caribou Coffee and greedily enjoyed our freshly blended fruit smoothies. When I asked if I was allowed to get a latte, she informed me that she did not declare "latte" and she spit the name with disgust, she declared smoothie! She sure told me.
"I like the name Weston,"Alice informed me after taking a large sip from her plastic cup. I curled my feet under me and scrunched my face up at her suggestion.
"Weston Whitlock?" I questioned her, skeptical.
"And then I could through in Jasper's dad's name as the middle name," Alice wiggled her eyebrows up and down, nodding her head approvingly.
"Weston William Whitlock? Really Alice?" I shook my head disapprovingly, "the kid would kill you. And then he would turn into a druggie because his parents gave him such a ridiculous name."
Alice laughed and took another sip of the pink smoothie. I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my own. I was trying not to think about Edward or his family. Alice was doing a fairly decent job of distracting me.
"I like Rem," I suggested. I shivered from the cold drink making its way through my body and thoroughly chilling me. I was so declaring latte next time.
Alice ignored my enthusiasm and shook her head, totally uninterested. "Eh, no."
"What's wrong with that name?" One name into the suggestions and already I could tell that this was going to be difficult.
"That's like a gun's name," her nose wrinkled in distaste.
Beside the point.
"You're like a gun's name," I retorted with snobbishly. She rolled her eyes.
"I like Justin," I tried after another sip of the smoothie.
"Yeah, but that doesn't have any way or shortening it."
I begged to differ. "Um no. What about Justy?"
Alice raised an incredulous eyebrow at me, silently staring at me for a long time to convey how much I annoyed her. Then finally, just as I was starting to giggle she spoke, "That is the most ridiculous excuse of a name. No."
Not fazed, I continued my quest to select the perfect name. "How about Jodi? I like Jodi!"
"You know,"Alice replied, shaking her head, about to blatantly start lying, "on second thought, we already have a name picked out. So I won't need your help, at all."
Fair enough.
Even though I was apparently no help, Alice and I still had a good time getting out of the house. The baby was starting to kick and it was awesome. Everything about her pregnancy was awesome. Other than the whole pee every five minutes thing…
Alice managed to distract me for a couple hours but when we got home I took a bubble bath, wanting time to think. It's weird, I had been thinking for days. But I just could not wrap my mind around how big of a picture Edward's life was apart of. I was trying to grasp what everything he said meant about our future and our lives right now. I had nothing.
If the mafia shot his mom and he thought they were after him, then what changed? Edward made it sound like things were still the same. And that thought made me frozen in fear. People were trying to kill Edward. They were trying to take his life and by doing so, mine.
The thought was so completely horrendous that I immediately had to shove it out of my mind. And when it threatened to come crawling back, I thought of something else…anything… I thought of my new puppy, Sarge. It literally made me shake and my stomach clench from fear.
I decided to call it a night. Sleep was the only escape from my thoughts swallowing me. I had a massive head ache, so I took some drowsy over the counter medicine that completely knocked me out into a much desired slumber.
I woke up in the middle of the night to the familiar shrill of my cell phone. With a loud groan at the interruption of my sleep I buried my face in my pillow. I blindly groped my bedside table for my cell phone. I wasn't going to ignore it because it could have been Edward.
I turned my face from the pillow so I could hold the phone to my ear. I hummed and blinked, my eyes seeing nothing except the bright cell phone. I flipped it open and yawned before answering a groggy, "Hi," to whoever it was.
"Bella. It's Emmett," Emmett said in to the receiver. I blinked a few more times, not awake enough to sense the urgency in his voice.
"What's," another ripping yawn, "up?" I asked. I laid face up on the pillow, closing my eyes again, disappointed that it wasn't Edward. He was the only one I allowed to disrupt my sleep.
"Edward's been shot."
And you can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out "someone, someone please"
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back
I need you, I need you here
I need you now, I need security somehow
I need you, like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need
When my hopes seem to dangle
Somewhere just beyond my reach
You say you've heard my prayers
And read my words there on the beach
I Need You, Relient K
-...told you that you would hate it...
-Had this been legit, Emmett would be in deep shit, I'm taking a few liberties here, just, btw.
-I've been nominated for Fic of the Week over at The Lemonade Stand, tehlemonadestand . blogspot . com/ Head over there and vote for SSM!
-I hope all of you American's have an amazing 4th of July! This is my favorite time of the year, and I hope you all enjoy it! (I'll be having a Battle of the Tubes with my cousins myself...wish me luck!)
