Chapter Nine

Sunday, November 10, 2002 – the Bronze, Sunnydale; night:

Xander sat in silence within one of the nightclub's booths, and he watched Cordelia carefully as she ate a muffin and drank a new cappuccino. He figured the stress must have made her both hungry and thirsty, or else she hadn't eaten anything recently. Or something.

To be honest, Xander was still trying to figure out what exactly was going on with his high school girlfriend; who, by the by, was looking just as edible as she had back in the day, if not more so. The amnesia thing didn't make much sense, if any; but oh jeez, that face and body...

A hundred visual and tactile images of his lips and hands exploring every inch of that body, those full breasts, and that mouth flashed across the little video screen in his mind's eye like a montage of porno footage. Plus, a hundred visual and tactile memories of making out with this girl in the school's janitor closet and the second and third floor maintenance closets, in her Miata, her dad's convertible, and then her BMW. The thought did occur to him that this was practically every teenager's dream – hell, any twenty-year-old's dream: a gorgeous girl who was convinced that you were her boyfriend, and who was already disposed toward making out with you and even giving you blowjobs...

He figured it wouldn't take much effort to play on that, and get her to go home with him for a little bedroom-related fun. And with all of the knowledge that he'd picked up from years with Anya about turning on a willing woman, he could easily –

{ No. Just... no! } With a big effort, Xander strangled that part of his hindbrain that was screaming at him to take full advantage of the heaven-sent opportunity while it lasted. And then he drove a stake through its heart.

This was Cordelia Chase. She who was so very beautiful. And, possibly, so very damaged right now. Because the chin-length blond-dyed hair looked really odd on her. Xander carefully hid a grin. It probably wouldn't help matters, mentioning that.

"Cordy, can I get you anything else?" he asked politely, as soon as she finished the cappuccino.

"No," Cordelia sighed happily, having calmed down a lot since that manic episode out in the parking lot. "I'm just – so glad you're here, Dweeb. I've been looking all over the place for you! I was seriously starting to worry, here! I mean, no one was at your house, and that For Sale sign? What happened to your parents? Oh my God!" Cordelia clapped a hand over her mouth, suddenly looking horrified. "A vampire didn't get them, did it?"

"Huh?" Xander blinked at her, taken aback a bit by the sudden rush of words and rapid-fire questions. Then he focused and said, "Oh, no, no. Nothing like that. Mom and Dad moved to Carpinteria over the summer... my pop got himself a new job at the desalination and water reclamation plant there. Both of them were ecstatic about getting out of Sunnydale, actually, and so they just sorta up and left."

"Well, thank God they're OK," Cordelia said, nodding. "'Cause I don't think I could take another freakish shock tonight."

Xander simply couldn't help it. He smiled, reached across the table and took hold of her hand. "It's kinda odd, ya know? I was looking through the old photo album earlier tonight, before I came here to unwind a little. Looking at pictures of, y'know, you and me. Back in high school. Definitely wasn't expecting to see you back in town, though."

Cordelia smiled at him, before quickly sobering up. Her expression clouded over, and her eyes narrowed. "The hell? Devon actually tried to kill me! How long – when did he become a vampire? And is Oz a member of the undead club as well, nowadays?"

"Not as far as I know," Xander said, still holding her hand. "See, Oz left town after he and Will broke up during their freshman year of college. Devon... hey, it's Devon. Way I heard, he walked out of the wrong bar with the wrong hot girl he was trying to impress one night. Then he turned several of his band mates." Xander shook his head, looking irritated. "He's been on my personal must-stake and least wanted list since he tried to eat – ah... a couple of people I know."

"Freaking figures," Cordelia replied, shaking her head. "He always did do most of his thinking with his ego and his little head. Jerk."

"Not gonna argue with that," Xander nodded, still smiling at her. Huh – he couldn't seem to stop grinning. Amnesia and major weirdness otherwise, he couldn't believe how idiotically happy just having Cordelia here was making him...

"Damn it, do you have any idea what's going on here? And why I wasn't able to get in touch with anyone on the phone? Or why there was no one present at every place I visited in that damn taxi? Not even the bottle-blond freakazoid was home!" she suddenly ranted.

"You went past Buffy's house?" Xander frowned, before Cordy nodded in reply to the question. Then he said, "Well, she's probably out patrolling tonight... but I don't know why Willow or Dawn didn't answer the phone... "

"Wait, Willow lives there too? Since when? And who's Dawn?" she demanded urgently.

"Uh, Will's been living there for over a year, off and on... and what do you mean, who's Dawn?" Xander sent her a startled look.

"Exactly what I said, lamer, who's Dawn?" Cordelia replied, eying him curiously. "Should I speak slower and use smaller words?"

"Okayyyy... " Xander said slowly, feeling rattled. "You've lost your memory, and you don't know who Dawnie is?" His eyes were now almost anime-wide.

"Yeah! I mean, no. I mean – damn it, Xander, who is she?"

He took a deep breath and said softly, "Dawn... is Buffy's little sister."

"Her sister?! Since when?" Cordelia looked surprised at hearing that. "Did Mrs. Summers adopt or something, since our junior year of high school? No, never mind, right now – I don't care," she said forcefully. "Damn it, Harris – what's happened to me? To my parents? To my whole freaking life?"


A short while later – the Bronze, Sunnydale; night:

{ Crap. Has the entire freaking world gone insane? }

Here she was, finally sitting with the boyfriend she'd spent like half the night looking for – and yet, everything was still getting more and more turned inside out and all upside down on her. It seemed that everywhere she looked, there was yet another bizarro event smacking her in the face.

Not Dork Boy's fault. Ever since she'd effectively landed in his lap with a vampire dusting between them and started vacuuming his lips, he'd practically bent over backward doing everything he could to help her try to recover from freakishness of this hideous night and all the associated weirdness.

Cordelia figured that Xander was being a lot more patient than she'd be, if their situations were reversed. And a lot more understanding than she'd have credited him with being able to be, from what she remembered.

And wasn't that just the whole problem right there? She remembered going to sleep last night with a sane life and a seventeen-year-old boyfriend. Sarcastic, humorous, not exactly bad-looking, a great kisser, and a really sweet guy in a lot of ways; but still, a typical teenage bag of walking hormones kind of guy. Whom she kinda liked. OK, maybe more than just kinda liked; maybe had been falling in love with, kind of liked.

Not this... older, tons more solid, responsible, comforting, and reassuring adult sitting across from her.

Someone whom, even on short acquaintance, she also kinda liked. A lot.

But the whole, wow, Xander was almost twenty-two freaking years old and looking good thing was... unsettling. Cordelia could feel the ground shift under her feet, every time she looked across the table at him.

Xander took another deep breath and said, "I don't know where your mother is – she left town, long time ago. But best guess is your dad is still in prison. Lompoc Federal Correctional Institution."

"Tax fraud?" Cordelia asked, feeling faint.

Xander frowned. "Yeah. Uh, I thought you didn't-?"

"No, I don't, I don't... remember that. It's just the cab driver mentioned something about it, after I went home to my house – or what's left of it," she replied semi-mechanically, still feeling faint. Then Cordelia pulled herself together, and stared him right in the eyes. "Do you know anything about that?"

Xander exhaled wearily. "Yeah. Towards the end of our senior year, you told me that your dad had, uh, made a tiny mistake on his taxes. For, like, the previous twelve years. Once the IRS found out, they seized everything; apparently, even your trust fund. Your step-mom... she, uh, gave you some money to live on, and then she left town. Probably went off to Tuscany or somewhere, to live with her relatives. You basically ended up in the poorhouse, after she ditched Sunnydale – and then you did likewise, once high school was over."

He paused, looking thoughtful, but then continued, "We figured out, uh – you and me after I found out, because you didn't want any of the others knowing any of this... that your father's accountant had been misfiling things and embezzling funds, and he set your dad up to take the blame. Or so we thought. Um, not that Mr. Chase wasn't fudging his taxes, but... "

"But it wasn't just him fudging his taxes," Cordelia said, nodding and looking at him curiously. After Xander nodded back she scowled ferociously, picking viciously at a napkin. "Damn it. I always knew that Daddy was big on the whole tax protest thing, but I never figured he'd be so stupid about it! Which explains why he went to prison and lost everything, instead of being able to drag it out in court for years and years with his lawyers, the whole – "

"Embezzlement thing, yeah," Xander interrupted, nodding. "Guess the Feds figured he was a flight risk, what with all of the international travel your family did, so they arrested him and confiscated everything."

"Which makes sense, yeah," Cordelia said, her eyes distant. "Except for the whole everything else. I mean, my trust fund? My personal accounts? My car? They shouldn't have been able to touch any of that... " She refocused on her companion, and said accusingly, "And you didn't come with me, after I ditched this hellhole?"

"Ah... " Xander spread his hands, looking helpless. "No. Well, except for the whole 'driving you to Los Angeles' thing, as part of my post-graduation road trip."

{ And you never stayed with me after we got there? No, of course you didn't. As if you'd ever choose me over your precious Buffy and Willow, } Cordelia thought nastily, quickly figuring out probable scenarios. { Hell, those two probably started pushing you to dump me, the moment they heard that I was planning on a new start elsewhere... }

"You didn't stay with me," Cordelia said, looking at him accusingly.

"Nope. Well, uh... you didn't want me to," Xander replied, shrugging and looking away. He glanced back, his gaze dark and unfathomable. "I asked you to come with me on my road trip, and you didn't want to do that, either."

"If you say so," Cordelia said, frowning. On account of that just plain didn't make any sense to her. { Because right after you caught me telling Fish Boy I'd buy you little bath toys and that you could see other fish, I think I would have gone anywhere with you if you'd asked me to. When you would look at me and there would be just me in your eyes, and nothing else... just as long as I could be sure you wanted me and no one else, not Buffy or Willow... }

{ There's something he's not telling me here, } Cordelia suddenly thought to herself with a frown, cocking her head slightly and examining her – former? – boyfriend.

And, well, duh. Of course there was. Like, tons of things he hadn't told her yet. Because nearly five years of her life had vanished, like without a trace. And there was over three years of his life that he'd lived through without her, to become this... older and harder and tireder man sitting in front of her. Man, not a boy anymore.

Shaking her head, Cordelia brought herself back to the here and now. "So, would you happen to have any ideas on why I can't remember anything since – well, just after you almost turned into a fish?"

"Yeah, I guess," Xander said vaguely, a lopsided smile appearing on his face at the mention of that incident; which made Cordelia's heart ache briefly. "I mean, it's almost certainly magic mojo of some kind, and we can get Will to examine you. Funny thing is, something similar happened to all of us here in Sunnydale last year; one of Willow's spells went ka-blooey one night, and for a while there, I had no idea who I was... "

"So, you think this is fixable?" Cordy said with undisguised excitement, grabbing his hand again. "I mean, if it's happened before – wait, Willow would know how to fix this? I thought she could barely even make one of those scapula things!"

"That was a long time ago, Cor," Xander said softly, looking at their intertwined digits before making eye contact with her again. "These days, Will's packing some serious witchy heat. But, uh, it might take her a while to figure out the answer – I mean, whatever's happened to you, it's not the same tabula rasa thing Willow did that night. That's kinda of the obvious – because you still know who you are, and I didn't have clue-one who this 'Alexander Harris' guy on my driver's license was."

He paused, and then said earnestly, "Look, Cordy, if you want – you can come over to my place and stay with me for tonight, before we find Willow tomorrow and sort this mess out. Probably best not to bother her right now; not after the way I, um, inconvenienced her yesterday. I'll have to deal with a few things first when we get there, sure, but there's plenty of room for you at the apartment – "

"Wait, you have an apartment now?" Cordelia interrupted, gaping at him. Then she wanted to smack herself in the face. { Well, duh. He just said earlier that his parents had moved away, and you saw the FOR SALE sign in front of his old house. What, you thought he was living in the gutter or something? }

"Sure do. Moved out of my parents' place over two years ago, as soon as I had enough money. Did I forget to mention that I'm an Assistant Junior Vice President at Turner and Peterson Construction, nowadays?" Xander grinned at her, obviously proud of himself as Cordy gaped at him some more. And just as obviously enjoying her reactions.

And why shouldn't he, damn it? That really was something to be proud of. And to be impressed by.

"That multinational construction and contracting firm you always worked for, during summer break? And you're a business executive now?" she blurted out, half-struggling to reconcile this older version of Harris with her high school boyfriend, and half-playing into his obvious enjoyment.

Gee, not bad for a dork whom she had so often derided as having a lucrative career in the pizza delivery business before (and sometimes, after) they had hooked up.

"Yup, sure am. Worked my way up from stock boy at the T&P Contracting Supply office here in Sunnyhell, to construction worker, to crew chief," he replied, flipping his hair back with a casual head toss. "And then I got promoted, after a vamp killed the last Assistant Junior VP. Well, I worked as an ice cream truck driver and a pizza delivery guy and a bunch of other things after high school, before I went back to T&P," he added, his eyes inviting her to laugh at himself with him.

She obliged, snickering. "I always knew you had a promising career in fast food, weenie," Cordelia said, keeping her voice light.

"Yeah. It promised to keep me in the poor house, so I moved on," Xander replied, snickering back at her. "Sure, I like to keep my hand in on the physical side of things whenever I can; but these days I mostly have to delegate that to my number two guy, and the assistant crew chiefs," he shrugged. "Well, apart from what happened yesterday, when Tony called in sick. It's put us behind on some things, actually; betcha I'm gonna have to reorganize the employee roster temporarily, first thing tomorrow morning... "

{ He's actually acting like a responsible adult, } she thought approvingly, and Cordelia found that she definitely liked that – despite how confused she felt right now. Mentally, she once again made the comparison between Adult Xander and Class Clown Xander – and concluded that she definitely liked who and what she was seeing before her. Possibly more than the guy who had been, like, obsessed with Buffy and Willow, despite being her boyfriend!

{ Well, duh, } an annoying voice at the back of her mind told her haughtily. { Because you've always had a thing for older men, remember? Like, there was Richard Anderson, the frat boy demon worshipper. And Angel, the mopey -slash- homicidal vampire. Except for the whole 'he's dead' thing. And even... }

Cordy cut off that annoying inner voice by sheer force of will and said, "Xander, look – I'm exhausted, freaked out, and I'm honestly not sure just how much more I can deal with at the moment. So I'd love to spend the night at your place, if you're OK with that, and deal with everything tomorrow. After I've had a shower and a good night's sleep, all right?"

"Yeah," Xander nodded. He then asked, "So – where's the rest of your stuff from L.A.?"

"What stuff from L.A.? What you see is what you get, pal," Cordelia replied with more than just mild annoyance. "Nothing but the clothes on my back type dealie, which is why you're not exactly catching me at my best right now!"

"Fine, then I'll take you to buy some essentials before we head off home," Xander shrugged.

"I... " She paused, uncertain. "I don't have any money, Xander, I can't afford – "

"Cordy. Don't worry about that sort of thing, OK? This is on me," he interrupted her at once. "Even though this isn't high school, and we're not together anymore, whatever you need for as long as you're in Sunnydale? I'm your guy. And please don't argue with me about it, OK? You've got enough problems right now, without that damn pride of yours forcing you not to accept anyone's charity! I mean, am I wrong or what?"

"No, you're not wrong," she admitted reluctantly, and trying not to wince at the confirmation that their relationship had officially ended. "And I – no, wait! At this time of night? The only place that'd still be open is Wal-Mart! And I still have some standards – I'm so not gonna Blue Light Special it, Harris!"

Now looking exasperated, Xander replied, "Fine! I'm sure Anya musta left some stuff at my place that you can use."

"Fine! Wait – who's Anya?" Cordy wanted to know, feeling confused.

Xander sighed, his expression telling her that he really didn't want to have to explain about that right now. "Someone who's not part of my life anymore. C'mon, let's go."


Later that evening – Xander's apartment building, Sunnydale; night:

"You live here?" Cordelia asked incredulously, stumbling a bit after they entered the complex. Damn it, that stupid broken heel – if it wasn't for Xander putting an arm around her waist to keep her steady, she'd have fallen over nearly half a dozen times by now!

Anyway, located near the corner of San Pedro and Montgomery Street, the building was in a very upscale area of Sunnydale. Not as good as where she used to live, before the IRS had apparently rearranged her life, but still very nice. She found it amazing that Xander had actually managed to rent an apartment in a place like this, despite their recent conversation in the Bronze.

"Yeah, I live here," Xander nodded. Looking like it took a major effort of will, he ignored the incredulity in her tone.

Seventeen or otherwise, Cordelia wasn't stupid. She understood perfectly well that the question and its implications had annoyed the guy, and she made a mental note to try to not act so surprised at how Xander had actually made something of himself nowadays. But suddenly, there was one question she had to ask. "What happened?"

"Huh?"

"Don't play the village idiot with me, Dumbass! What happened to 'us'?" Cordy demanded. "Did you dump me? Did I dump you? Or was it a mutual decision to call it quits, just before I left for L.A.?"

"That's... not a conversation I want to have out here," Xander replied evasively, gesturing at the corridor down which they were walking towards his apartment. "I mean, I'd like for us to be sitting down when we get into that topic. And before we do that, I need to get rid of an unwelcome roommate."

"A roommate? Who?" Cordy asked, fighting off a bad feeling that it might be this 'Anya' woman her former boyfriend had briefly referred to at the Bronze.

Xander sighed, as they arrived at his place and he let go of her. He then took out his keys and unlocked the front door. "You probably wouldn't believe me, even if I told you."

"Why would you say-?" Cordelia began to ask, as she followed Xander inside – just as Spike came out of one the rooms. "AGGGGGHHHHHHH! VAMPIRE!" she screamed, naturally enough.

Oddly reminiscent of his grandsire, Spike winced at the sheer volume of noise she was outputting. "Bloody hell, woman! Could ya turn it down a bit? You sound like a bleedin' fishwife... "

"Fishwife?!" Cordelia was almost instantly more annoyed than afraid, even though she was still instinctively hiding behind her former boyfriend. Recalling how Angelus – Angel – whatever – had called her the exact same thing earlier tonight, she demanded indignantly, "How dare you say that to me, you Billy Idol wannabe?!"

"Oi – that effin' wanker stole the look from me, not the other way around!" Spike instantly bristled and scowled at her in annoyance.

"Relax, Cor," Xander cut in, smirking. "Spike isn't any threat to you, well – not now, anyway. Guy got himself an anti-violence chip in his head, since the last time you saw him. Well, that and he apparently has a soul, nowadays... "

"What's all this 'apparently' guff, mate? I did get my soul back!" Spike said belligerently.

"Well, you sure don't look or sound any different to me," Cordelia replied snarkily. She popped out from behind Xander and asked him, "Are you sure he's not just trying to pull a fast one on you people? I mean, at least with Angel, you could tell who was Angelus and who wasn't!"

"Why the bloody hell does everyone keep comparing me to that sodding poofter?" Spike demanded, glaring at Cordelia. "I'm nothing like him! Besides, I didn't get cursed by a bunch of gypsy gits; I went to Africa and won my soul back!"

"You did? Why?" Cordelia honestly didn't get that.

"Not that it's any of your business, ya dumb bint, but everything I've done – I did it fer Buffy," Spike said steadfastly.

"Oh, of course. Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Is every freaking vamp in creation obsessed with that girl? And why? Gee, let me count the ways," Cordelia ranted, finally letting go of Xander's bicep. "Buffy fixation, soul, doing things to impress the Slayer... gee, sure sounds like a cut-rate Angel Junior to me!"

Spike bristled and puffed up even more – looking a lot like an offended cat, Cordelia noted, but Xander cut in again before either of them could say anything further.

"Yeah, sure you did, Spike. And much as I'm fascinated by this stimulating topic of conversation – you need to get out. Right now," Xander ordered the vampire, pre-empting Spike's scathing retort. "Consider yourself officially evicted, pal. Which means take anything that's yours, and hit the road. Cordy's going to be staying here a while, and the last thing she needs is your presence."

"'Ere now, you can't throw me out just like that!" Spike protested at once.

"Funny, I think I can. Now get out, and don't come back," Xander told him in no uncertain terms, opening the front door and gesturing impatiently.

To Cordelia's eye, Spike looked like he was both offended and unable to believe this was actually happening. The undead thing then said, "Buffy won't like this, ya know. 'Sides, where am I s'posed to go?"

"In order, if Buffy doesn't like it, that's her problem. And for all I care, you can go straight back to that school basement where we found you. Or else go back to your crypt, camp out at Angel's old mansion, or try living in a sewer. Just leave – right now. I won't ask again." Xander had an ice-cold expression on his face as he said that.

Spike smirked, obviously unable to help himself. "Oooh, who's playing the manly man for the former cheerleader, then? I wonder, does she know all about you and the demon bird – "

The British vampire never got the chance to finish that sentence, though, as Xander grabbed him by the collar and belt and literally shoved him out the door. Cordelia honestly couldn't believe it as Xander tossed him through the entranceway, she'd been certain that Spike would finally quit playing games and try to –

Harris then told the vampire, "And seriously, don't come back. If you do, there's a stake waiting with your name on it!" He slammed the door shut. "Good riddance."

"No argument here," Cordelia agreed fervently.

"Oh, almost forgot... "

She watched, torn between following Xander with her gaze and eying the front door nervously as the Dork disappeared into the spare room briefly, before he came back carrying a duffel bag.

Opening the door, Xander threw the duffel bag out at the vampire, smacking him in the face with it just as Spike was smirking and opening his mouth. "There's all your crap. Bye." Slamming the door again, he folded his arms and leaned against it, facing Cordelia. "Whew. Glad that's done."

Nodding, Cordelia looked at the door. "But as long as he still has access to your apartment, he's a danger, right? So you should do that dis-invitational spell thing-y, or whatever."

Xander shrugged and said, "OK, as soon as I get you settled in to the apartment."

"Do it now," Cordelia insisted. "Trust me. Better safe than sorry, Dweeb!"

Shrugging again, Xander acceded to her wishes. He retrieved a hammer, a couple of nails, moss herbs and holy water from the kitchen and came back, before nailing a wooden cross to the inside of the door. Then he started burning the herbs and sprinkling the water at the threshold, before reading the Latin incantation from a piece of paper. "Hicce verbis consensus rescissus est!"

There was nothing overt to indicate the invitation barrier had been erected; no flash of light, or anything like that. But somehow, she could feel that it had worked as Xander said, "There ya go, Cor. We're all safe and snug inside the Fortress of Solitude again."

"Well, good," Cordelia replied fervently. "Now, would you mind telling me why the heck you ever allowed him to live here with you?!"

"Wasn't my idea. Buffy asked me to do it. Well, maybe 'ask' isn't quite the right word," Xander shrugged yet again. "If we're gonna be blunt, she more or less forced him down my throat like a jagged little pill – "

"Huh?"

"Oh, sorry. Alanis Morissette was a bit after your time?" Xander smirked.

Cordelia immediately glared at him. "No, you moron! Hello, Canadian singer-songwriter? Won Grammy awards for album of the year and best rock album for 1996? I just meant, why the hell would Buffy of all people force you to live with that vampire? What the heck makes Spike so important to her?"

Xander exhaled wearily. "She slept with him for most of last year, after the Buffster was resurrected from the dead – and we literally tore her soul out of Heaven."

Cordelia looked and felt completely thunderstruck at this news. "No way. Are you, like, serious?"

"Lotta changes around here since high school, Cor," Harris shrugged. "That's just one of them."

"But that's insane! I mean, didn't Buffy learn her lesson about that sort of thing with Angel?" She honestly didn't get it, as Xander led her to sit down on the couch.

"Take my advice, and don't even try to figure it out. Hell, I've given up attempting to understand her taste in guys; I mean, over the years, there's been a lot of debris on the Buffy relationship highway," he said slowly, before Xander exhaled loudly. "And the whole 'Buffy and Spike' saga is kinda tangential as far as the current situation is concerned, Cordy. You wanted to know what happened with regard to 'us', since I almost got in touch with my inner halibut... so it's time I filled you in on all that."

Nodding, Cordelia kicked off her shoes, followed him into the kitchen and leaned against a counter, watching as he made sandwiches and coffee. A loud grumbling in her midsection made her acutely aware that she hadn't eaten nearly enough since... when? She had no idea. A cappuccino and a muffin at the Bronze obviously wasn't enough to fill the void, so it must have been a while; apart from that quickie bite at Union Station.

Just what the heck had she been doing before waking up inside that weird-ass hotel, that she hadn't eaten recently?

After leading the way to the dining room table and settling her in with coffee, iced tea, and her sandwiches, Xander spoke for well over an hour – going over everything that had happened before and during and after their senior year of high school. Cordelia interrupted every so often with questions like:

"Angel got his soul back? After Willow did that gypsy curse on him? Willow?"

"Buffy ran away from home for the summer?"

"What do you mean, she hid the fact that Angel came back from Hell?"

"I almost got killed during Homecoming? And I wasn't elected Homecoming Queen, either?"

"You cheated on me?"

"You cheated on me with Willow?!"

"Why, for crying out loud?"

"Oz accepted her back, even though Willow's gay now?"

"Why couldn't she have figured that out before you and her started making out behind my back?!"

"I wished what?"

"Mayor Wilkins was a what? And he did what?!"

"You went to the Prom with who? I knew it! I knew you took some skanky 'ho instead of me!"

"What do you mean, she wasn't a skank?!"

"She was a demon? Ex-demon – sorry. Well, gee, that figures."

"OK, let me get this straight: you paid for my Prom dress and I went to the dance with this Weasley guy – all right, Wesley guy – and then you and I got into an argument, before we finally slept together?"

"We did it in Giles' office? And then I turned around and went home with the Weasel? Did I grow up to become a slut, or something?"

"We had sex again, just before Graduation? And after?"

"We blew up the high school? And I don't remember it? Damn it!"

"I moved to L.A. and started working for Angel, of all people?"

"As a secretary?!"

"Well, at least it wasn't as a name-tag person."

"Oh, you're kidding me! At April Fool's? Jeez – could I possibly have sunk any lower? I mean, aside from dating you and everything."

"OK, so you've had Spike as a roommate before? And you stopped him from staking himself why, exactly?"

"Oh, now this time, you gotta be kidding me! The U.S. military came to town and built a cyborg demon Terminator thing? Why, for God's sake?"

"You thought Jonathan Levinson was some kinda superstar? What the hell were you smoking to believe that?!"

"Spike made you all pissed and angry towards one another? Why the hell would his opinion on stuff even matter to you?"

"Some monks made Buffy a sister? What are you saying – that Mrs. Summers got down and dirty with a bunch of monks?"

"Buffy's mom died? Crap. What happened to her?"

"So, you got engaged to that Anya woman? No way! When you were barely twenty years old?"

"Buffy died again doing what?"

"You didn't tell Giles about Willow's plan to resurrect her, why?"

"Wait, Willow brought Buffy back to life by puking out what?"

"Everyone in Sunnydale started singing and dancing all the time? And I missed it? Damn it!"

"What do you mean, you were responsible for three people getting killed?!"

"You dumped your fiancée at the what?"

"Your ex had sex with Spike as well? What is it with women boning the vampires in this town, contagious necrophilia or something?"

"Spike tried to what in Buffy's bathroom?!"

"You barely stopped Willow from doing what?!"

"Buffy tried to kill that Anya girl, after she was responsible for murdering how many people?"

"You got involved in another love spell fiasco? Oh, sorry, enchanted jacket. That makes ALL the difference!"

"And all these years, we never talked – and barely even spoke at Mrs. Summers's funeral, for crying out loud?"

"Why, for God's sake?"

"I don't know, Cordy. Even though we parted on OK terms after I bought you your dress for Senior Prom – well, we got into one of our usual fights as I was driving you to L.A., and we haven't really spoken for the past three and a half years," Xander shrugged. "Sorry, but that's the situation. I basically have no idea what's going on in your life right now."

"Oh, for... " Cordelia shook her head, trailing off. "And of course I didn't grab you by your convenient carrying handle, and drag you away to L.A. with me. Because that would have made, like, sense, damn it. And you just let me take off for the big city after all of that, and didn't even follow me. Well, no, of course you didn't."

Xander opened his mouth and then shut it hastily, as she glared at him.

"I mean, seriously, it's not like you would ever do something intelligent. You know, like figure out that if a girl sleeps with you at least three times – that maybe an argument in the car isn't automatically the end of the relationship, right? Right! But no... "

"Are you going to let me get a word in anytime soon?" Xander demanded, cutting into her tirade.

"I wasn't planning on it, no," Cordelia said tartly, sticking her tongue out at him.

Xander shook his head, snickering. Waving her on, he leaned back with his arms folded across his chest, grinning at her. "In that case, carry on."

"Thank you, I will," she replied, briefly grinning back at him. Folding her own arms and leaning back, Cordy considered him carefully, arching an eyebrow at him. "So, aside from this demon girl you almost married, was there anyone else?"

"Huh?"

"Don't huh me, Dorkoid. After us... me, I mean. Was there anyone else after we broke up?" Cordelia demanded to know.

Giving her that lopsided smile again, Xander picked up their cups and headed off into the kitchen for refills. "Faith," he said simply, his voice drifting back over the breakfast bar. Cordelia slid her chair back and headed into the living room. { Might as well be comfortable for the rest of this... }

"I'm not sure I have any left," Cordelia called back at him. "And what's faith got to do with anything I asked you?"

"No, Faith. It's a name, her name was Faith," Xander replied, settling a refilled mug in front of her and settling into the other corner of the couch with another mug for himself.

"Oh. OK," Cordelia said, looking surprised. "So there was a Faith. Pretty name. And you two had a thing?"

"You could call it that, or not," Xander replied, shrugging. She noticed how he had a weird expression on his face, half soft and amused, half annoyed and introspective. "It wasn't so much of a thing, really, than a 'she threw me down on her bed and had her way with me and then kicked me out in my underwear' kind of blur. And then she tried to kill me, later on."

"Tried to – " Cordelia stopped with her mug halfway to her mouth, gaping at him. She shook her head slowly, before raising it the rest of the way. After taking a sip, she exhaled and said, "Only you, Doofus. This Faith person tried to kill you? Obviously another demon girl, right?"

"Nope. Slayer. The one Called after Kendra was killed," Xander said, sighing. "And it was seriously messed up. She accidentally killed a guy, a human being, well – mostly by accident. There was a big fight with a lot of vamps around, and Buffy thought Finch was one of the undead and threw him at her, and so Faith staked him. And there was much with the freak-age, and since we were really all screwed up at the time, none of us were really much with the whole comforteering thing, so it all went downhill fast and got worse."

"Ah. Story of our messed-up lives," Cordelia said, nodding. "I mean, with the all screwed up. So, you liked her, anyway?" she asked, softly.

"Yeah. I did, kinda," Xander replied, smiling wryly. "For all the good it did. Was scared as hell of her after that, and for her, but I still kinda had the hots for her. Real mixed emotions thing. I... "

He trailed off with an odd facial expression, and so Cordelia asked, "What?"

"Ah, kinda funny. While I was visiting her in that prison today, Faith said I should look you up and talk to you," Xander explained, and started laughing quietly. "I'm pretty sure this isn't exactly what she had in mind, though."

"Probably not," Cordelia agreed with him, nodding. Tilting her head, she then sent him a curious look. "Prison? I thought you said it was an accident? I mean, I already know you didn't turn her in for attempted Xander-cide."

Xander shrugged. "I said it all went downhill and got worse, didn't I? She killed another guy on the Mayor's orders. And then there was this huge battle with Buffy where Faith got hurt bad; she ended up in a coma, and went way over the edge after she woke up. Left town after a really messed-up body-switching thing. Eventually, though, she gave herself up to the cops in L.A. and reformed."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

They were both silent for a while, Cordelia sipping her coffee and studying him. She found herself marveling yet again at this older, more solid, and much more careworn version of the boy she'd started to fall in love with...

After a little more study, she decided yet again that she really did like this newer version, too.

"So. Anyone else?" she asked, looking at him curiously.

Xander shrugged again, smiling lopsidedly at her. "So why all the curiosity about my love life, huh?" he asked, his voice half-teasing, half-curious.

"Hey, I'm seventeen up here right now, remember?" Cordelia said, tapping herself on the temple. "I'm still the girl who, as far as she remembers, recently confessed her undying devotion to Xander the Fish Monster. So satisfy my curiosity about all these bimbos you've been cheating on me with, bucko."

"Ah. Right. Well, they say confession is good for the soul... " Xander grinned at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "Lysette Torchio."

"What? Little Miss I'm a Car Slut?" Cordelia blinked at him, her jaw dropping briefly.

"You obviously remember her well."

"You slept with Lysette Torchio? After we broke up?" Cordelia asked, still blinking.

"Well, no." Cordelia stared at him, and so he held up a hand and cut her off before she could say something sarcastic. "That was more of a 'she gave me a blowjob in the front seat of my Uncle Rory's car' deal. Not long before we ran into Jack O'Toole and his zombie buddies, actually, and she eventually ran off screaming into the night."

"Ah. Figures. Still, must have been a really nice car," Cordelia replied, smirking.

"Like I just said, you obviously knew her well," Xander said, smirking back. "Rory's blue and white '57 Chevy convertible."

"That would do it. Wait – Jack had zombie buddies? Jack 'the Psychotic Thug' O'Toole?" Cordelia asked in disbelief.

"Ah, guess I forgot to mention it before – Jack was a zombie himself, by that point. Later that night, Oz ate him."

"Eewww. I sure hope he used Scope, afterward." Cordelia eyed Xander speculatively and smirked again. "Lysette, huh. Boy, you really do have a thing for breasts, don't you?"

"The greatest natural wonders of the world," Xander replied, still smirking at her. "Accept no substitutes."

"Pervert," Cordelia said, starting to laugh. "So. Anyone else?"

"Mary." Before she could ask, he elaborated, "The Executive Secretary at T&P's head office in L.A. After Willow almost ended the world last spring, Mary and I met at a Management and Planning Skills seminar at the company's satellite office in Phoenix, Arizona."

"There's alcohol involved here somewhere, I'm sure of it," Cordelia told him, smirking again.

"Yeah, we definitely got a bit too tipsy at that hotel bar," Xander admitted, smiling fondly at the memory. "We started discussing my screwed-up near-marriage experience and messed-up love life, and her screwed-up love life – "

"And then you fell on each other's lips and into your bed in your hotel room," Cordelia finished for him, snickering.

"Her bed, actually, in her room," Xander said, laughing. He flipped his hair away from his eyes, adding, "And if you've seen this episode, why didn't you stop me?"

"Didn't have to see the episode, loser, it's a common enough plot," Cordelia replied, laughing back at him. "So, this Mary person," she said, curious about this girl that her boyfriend (former, damn it!) very evidently had a fond memory of. "Was she pretty?"

"She – " Xander abruptly shut himself up, a funny look coming over his face. He stared at her oddly.

"She what?" Cordelia's eyebrows arched up.

"Mary... she kinda looks like you, actually," Xander replied, his expression wondering. "Same hair, blue eyes instead of hazel, a bit bigger in the, ah... "

"Tits? Chest? Bosoms? Boobs? Hooters? Ta-tas? Fun bags?" Cordelia suggested, her eyebrows going up even farther.

Xander sent her a startled look, then glared at her – before starting to snicker helplessly. He took a deep slug of his coffee, swallowing heavily. "Yeah, those. Uh-huh."

"And her face looks a lot like mine, huh?"

"She could be your slightly older sister, Cordy," Xander said, shrugging. "And I don't know why I didn't realize that before."

"How much slightly older, hmm?" Cordelia sipped her own coffee to hide a smile.

"Oh – two or three years, maybe? Not sure." Xander gave her a quizzical look.

"Right," Cordelia replied. They both exchanged shrugs and looked at each other, letting the silence stretch out until it went past thoughtful to uncomfortable, and then past that to unbearable.

"We ought to – " Xander began to say, the same time that Cordelia blurted out, "You really need to – "

They both broke off, exchanging wry expressions. Xander made an 'after you' gesture to her, raising his eyebrows curiously.

"You really need to get to bed so you can get up for work in the morning, don't you?" Cordelia asked, returning the gesture.

"Yeah, but I figure I'll take off early after doing what needs doing," Xander said thoughtfully. "Need to get you settled, not to mention take you shopping, so you can get something other than Anya's cast-offs to wear. I know how much you hate that sort of thing."

Cordelia was touched by the thoughtfulness. She just nodded, though, keeping it off of her facial expression. "Can you do that?" she asked, curiously. "Without losing your job, I mean."

"Hey, I put in way more than a full day on Saturday," Xander said, shrugging. "Which is usually my sleep in and loaf day. And I have a pretty good work record, few missed days and lots of sick days and vacation days piled up. I think I can get by with taking the day off after doing the roster rearranging thing I mentioned."

Cordelia nodded. "Just as long as you keep your mitts off of the executive assistant while you're there, Dummy."

Xander laughed. "Not an issue. She's in Los Angeles, remember?"

Nodding again, Cordelia frowned slightly, thinking. "And you were going to say?" she asked, curiously.

"Ah. Was going to say pretty much the same thing, that you're probably exhausted," Xander replied, smiling at her.

"Oh, boy, am I ever," Cordelia agreed fervently. "You wouldn't believe the night I've had since I first came to. So, uh... "

"I'll get you something to wear so you can shower," Xander said, starting to turn around. "And there's a spare bedroom... OK, it's more of a cupboard, but still. And – oh, crap!"

"What?"

"Spike was sleeping in there. Not fit to sleep in, until I do laundry and wash the bedding and flip the mattress over and stuff," he explained. "Uh... until I burn the bedding and replace it. No one is sleeping on that stuff again."

"Eeww, no," Cordelia said, her nose wrinkling. "Seriously don't want vampire cooties."

"Vampire cooties?" Xander asked, his eyes dancing merrily at her. "What are we, six?"

Cordelia threw a couch pillow at him, bouncing it off of his face before he caught it, laughing. "You so know what I mean. Jerk."

"You can have my bed, unless you're afraid of catching loser cooties," Xander said. "And I'll take the couch. It folds out," he added, gesturing at it.

"Oh, for... " Cordelia shook her head, scowling at him. "We'll take your bed, together. I mean, seriously? We have slept together before, even if I don't remember that. It's not like we weren't headed towards sharing a bed after the whole Fish Boy thing, you know!"

"Cordy... " Xander said slowly, shaking his head. "Not like I'm against that, seriously, but... "

Cordelia glared at him after he trailed off, and said, "But what? You have a problem sharing a bed with me?"

"No! Jeez, you're still... freaking gorgeous, Cordy, and different circumstances, I'd take you up on that offer in a hot minute," Xander said, looking startled. "I just, well... do you really want to take something that's already complicated, and take a chance on complicating it even more before you even remember why you stopped wanting to have sex with me?" It came out all in a rush, and he looked a bit dubious, adding, "And did anything in all of that actually make any sense?"

Cordelia started to say something, something more than a little sarcastic, and then stopped. Cocking her head slightly, she examined him slowly, taking renewed stock of this much older and more responsible Xander Harris. This more... more restrained Xander Harris. The male teenager she remembered would have been falling all over himself, drooling at the idea of getting her into the same bed as him – and then engaging in you-know-what.

Except... maybe not.

Not like this. She remembered the Valentine's Day love spell and Xander turning down the chance to have sex with a very willing Buffy, because she hadn't been in her right mind – and because he'd known she'd never offer him something like that if she had been. And then spending the entire day and part of the night running around Sunnydale with her and keeping her from getting killed by his stupidity, and almost getting killed himself in the process.

Instead, she opened her mouth and said: "I meant to sleep in the same bed together, Dumbass, that's all." Her voice was soft. "Not that I'd necessarily be against anything extra, you understand. Just not tonight."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Cordelia said, her tone not quite mocking, more amused than anything else. "And when did you go and turn into a nice guy on me, anyway? I mean, you were always a hero, but... nice?"

"Uh, hero?" Xander gave her a blank look, and a shrug. "And I'm sure Anya would give you an excellent argument on the 'nice guy' thing. Dunno. During the years you don't remember, maybe?"

He looked so absolutely clueless that she shook her head, feeling exasperated and somewhat... touched. "Oh, for... OK. You get the lumpy fold-out. I'll sleep in your bed. Alone. All by myself."

"All right... " Xander sighed and nodded. "That works, I guess." He turned and started to head off toward his room, presumably to get her something to wear and turn back the covers for her.

"Cool," Cordelia added unexpectedly. "And if you hear any loud moaning sounds coming from your bedroom in the middle of the night, just ignore them, OK?"

Xander stumbled halfway around the corner of the couch and heading to the hall, barely catching himself on the back of the wall as his balance wobbled. Cordelia sent him her best and most malicious thousand watt beauty queen smile and a snicker, when he glared back at her over his shoulder.

{ Oh, yeah. So totally worth it! }

TBC…


A/N: Does anyone know what really happened to Tony and Jessica Harris after season six? We couldn't find anything concrete, so in this AU they moved out of town. Kinda necessary for the plot, in terms of Cordelia not being able to find anyone she knew in the previous chapter. Anyway, that's the X/C reunion finally over with! Sorry we didn't focus on anyone or anything else for this part of the story, but here seemed like a good stopping point - and it was already pretty long to begin with. Don't worry, though, the other characters will make an appearance next time! This is turning into quite the ensemble fic, all things considered. Oh, yeah, and the site's review system is finally working normally again, so please don't forget to type your comments into the reviewer box below. As always, thanks in advance for doing that...