Ah, ye reviewers of little faith! Ms. Roth owns the characters, of course, but we all have our different spins on them. I don't see Tobias and Tris and their cohort as graven images, but rather as teenagers, and teenagers in very intense situations. I'm not a teen anymore at this point, but it's a pretty volatile time of life, physically and emotionally, and it's when most of us make some of our biggest mistakes. That's kind of how it's supposed to work. Having said that, I don't see Four as the cheating type, either. So see what you think...

We get Fernando up into the clinic no worse for the wear, though I think I may have accidentally whacked his head on a couple of door frames. Everyone else leaves, but Lou makes me wait while she checks him over.

"Here," she says, shaking a couple of pills out of a bottle. "You need to take these, Four. I can't be certain without running some tests, but from looking at Fernando, I believe it may have been TTX, which is a very potent neurotoxin. It is lethal if injected, induces paralysis if it's inhaled, and can be absorbed through the skin. Nasty stuff, but the good news is that if you survive the initial exposure, it will eventually leave your system with no permanent damage."

"So what's this for?" I say, frowning at the pills.

"It's an anti-cholinesterase in a charcoal base."

Right, well that explains everything, I think.

"If I had access to my lab," she continues, not noticing my eye roll or ignoring it if she does, "I would whip you up a monoclonal antibody, as well, but this will suffice. In any case, you should fully recover within a few days, but this," she shakes the bottle at me, "will certainly help. You may still see symptoms, including some mild paralysis."

She shoots me a guilty look. "And I do apologize for having a laugh at your expense earlier. There's nothing amusing about this: this substance does affect brain functions. I have already sent Tris to bed, and you should go sleep this off, too."

"Also," she holds out a thermos to me, "you should drink as many fluids as you can stand. This is water, with some electrolytes thrown in." At my blank look, she clarifies, "it's a naturally-occurring substance that will help restore your fluid balance, which is off both from the TTX and because you're probably a bit dehydrated. Tris has a bottle, too. Please encourage her to drink it."

I nod, feeling that whether I like this woman or not, she's obviously going to be valuable to us. And it appears that she may not be quite as icy as she first seemed. I incline my head toward Fernando.

"And how about him? Will he recover?"

She looks at Fernando, her expression growing cold again. "Oh, yes. He will recover, though I need to put him on an intravenous drip. It will take him several days to regain muscle control, but he is, in all likelihood, aware."

"Aware?"

"Yes. TTX is very unusual. It introduces paralysis, but if the victim survives initial exposure, he is often still conscious."

"That's... That's awful." Now I feel bad about the door frames.

"Yes," she agrees. She looks at me, and though I have a sense that she is someone who rigidly controls her emotions, she has an angry light in her eyes, and her lips are pressed tightly together.

"It is no less than he deserves," she says.

"What? What do you mean?"

She passes a hand over her face, rubbing her eyes.

"I apologize, Four. It's not my place to tell you, but suffice it to say that Fernando has much to answer for." She sighs loudly. "You should be resting; your ability to reason is impaired right now, and there will be some important discussions to have and decisions to make tomorrow, once the group that went to Amity comes back."

"They're not back yet?"

She shakes her head. "I'm sure they are fine," she pats me on the shoulder. "And everyone will want to hear about what you found."

I'm looking at her with my mouth open and my brows creased, and she motions to the pills still in my hand.

"Please, take them now. It really will help, and the counter-effects will be almost immediate. It should help you sleep better, as well."

I put the pills in my mouth, and they taste like ashes. I take a quick swig of the enhanced water, which has a more pleasant, lemony taste. I clear my throat and look at her.

"Thank you, Louise."

She smiles at me. "You can call me Lou. I prefer it."

"Thank you, Lou."

She makes a shooing motion with her hands. "Now go. Get some sleep." The gesture is familiar, and I realize she reminds me more of Cara than of Jeanine.

Tris is already asleep in the room when I get there, and I pause on the threshold. In the moonlight slanting in through the window, she looks ethereal, blond hair fanning out around her head and her features smooth and untroubled. The rush of guilt that floods me as I remember the training room leaves a metallic taste in my mouth, and I feel like I'm going to throw up. What have I done? A groan accidentally escapes me, and I cover my face with my hands. How can I face her? How can I face Laila? Oh my God. What have I done?

"Are you alright?" I drop my hands, heart thumping into my throat at the sound of Tris's voice. She's looking at me, but I'm not sure she's actually fully awake.

"Are you alright?" She repeats when I don't immediately answer. "Sorry I laughed at you before. That wasn't nice," she mumbles.

"It's okay," I say, not moving from the doorway. "We're not nice people, remember?"

"Come to bed," she says, with a little laugh.

I move toward her, undoing my belt buckle and shucking off my jeans. She's zipped the sleeping bags together, and her body heat has already warmed my side.

"Drink some water, as long as you're awake," I suggest, and she nods, propping herself up on her elbow and reaching for the water bottle next to her head. "Lou says it will help."

She looks relieved when I say "Lou."

"Where did you go?" She asks.

I look down and don't say anything. She notices my hands, and grabs one, looking at my knuckles.

"What happened?"

"I did something...stupid." I say.

"Did you hurt someone?" she asks, wide awake now.

"No. Yes. Maybe. Not like that," I say, nodding at my knuckles. "But yeah."

She waits.

"Do you want to just talk about it tomorrow, when we're both feeing better?" She finally ventures.

I nod. And then I shake my head.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep," I admit.

She sighs. "Is this about Laila, by any chance?"

I stare at her. How could she know that? Did Laila talk to her? I didn't think she would do that.

"Yeah," Tris says, a little smugly. "I figured, from the way you look at her. You actually blushed when she hugged you. It's been kind of irritating."

I bite back an angry denial and take a deep breath, closing my eyes.

"Did I ever tell you about Amar?" I say instead, eyes still closed.

"No," Tris answers. "Who's Amar?" I open my eyes, and see she's sitting up now, the bag pooling around her ankles, and she's hugging her bare knees tightly. Her chin is down and she's not looking at me.

"He was my instructor, when I was an initiate. He's the one who gave me my name - he had a real genius for that, for seeing into people, and giving them a name, an identity. He was everything Dauntless was supposed to be, back before Max ruined it."

"He was brave," she prompts when I break off.

"Even better: he taught other people how to be brave. He knew who I was, he knew what I was coming from, and he showed me it didn't have to define me. That I could choose who I am. I could choose to be strong."

"Like you taught me," she says softly.

I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. I absolutely don't want to cry, and I pause, clenching my jaw and closing my eyes tightly.

"It's okay, Tobias," Tris puts a tentative hand on my arm. "It's just me here."

That doesn't help, and I can feel moisture spilling out of the corner of my eyes as I open them.

"He knew I was Divergent, right away. Because he was, too. And they killed him for it." Tris gasps. I take her hands.

"He was my first real friend," I whisper, "really, my first real family. And I had so little time to know him before they took him away from me."

"But you loved him, anyway," Tris says softly, and I nod, knocking a tear off the end of my nose.

"I didn't know he had a sister until I saw Laila's name on our list," I continue, and now I look up, straight into Tris's eyes. "She looks exactly like him. Exactly. Like. Him. She sounds like him," I make a small hysterical laughing sound, "she even throws a knife like him."

"I kissed her tonight," I finally say quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Do you... do you want to be with her?" Tris asks calmly, though she pulls her hands away from me.

"No," I say, without hesitating, and I'm startled to realize that's the truth. "No." I don't say anything else for a few minutes.

"Sometimes," I say, clearing my throat, "I can almost convince myself he's not really dead, that he's in a cell somewhere, and I'll be able to save him. Everything will be fine if I can just find him. But I know that's not true. Because I did find him. Broken and bloody, under the train tracks where they threw him. Like he was garbage. They just threw him away."

I hold my breath for a minute, and then exhale noisily. "I know he's gone forever and I can't get him back, but then I saw Laila. And it's just, it's confusing, she is. I don't know."

I look at her again, and her eyes are downcast.

"I don't know," I repeat miserably. "But look, I know that I love you. I don't want anyone else. Not like that. I will never want anyone else the way I want you. Do you believe me?" I cringe inwardly at how pathetic I must sound.

Tris looks up at me now, and her eyes look huge in the light of the waning moon. I feel again like I'm the only person in the world, and a volt of hope sweeps through me.

"Depends. What was the kiss like?"

"Oh, um, the kiss? It was, it was, I don't know. What do you mean?"

"I mean, were there tongues involved?"

"Ah," I say uncomfortably, rubbing the back of my neck, not sure where this is going. "Ah, no. No tongues."

"So just what, a peck on the cheek?"

I rub my own cheek. "Um, no. Do you really want to know this?"

She nods solemnly, but I begin to wonder if she's maybe teasing me a little? Is that a good thing?

"On the lips," I confess.

"But dry," she prompts.

"Uh, yeah, dry."

"What did she do?"

"Nothing, really."

"She didn't punch you or scream or anything?"

"Uh, no. She told me she knew she wasn't the one I really wanted and that she was with someone, too." I decide not to mention the part about being attracted to me. It wouldn't sound good out of context.

"I think she felt sorry for me," I realize, ashamed. "It was such a stupid thing to do. I didn't really mean it."

"Show me."

"What?" I say.

"Show me how you kiss when you mean it."

Once my fried brain processes what she just said, I think I actually lunge for her. One hand threads through her hair to the back of her head, the other slides down her spine and under her T-shirt to her lower back. I press her into me hard. I feel frantic, almost desperate, as our tongues meet, and then I pull away, sucking at her throat, kissing my way down.

"Tris," rips ragged from my guts, "Oh my God, Tris."

We probably wake people up all over the building, and ordinarily, that would mortify both of us. But I don't care, and I don't give Tris time to think about it.

I have no idea how much time has passed, but we're both lying on our backs, breathing hard. The sleeping bags have somehow come unzipped, and one is all the way across the room. The other one is bunched up under Tris's head, which is almost up against the wall.

"Are you okay?" I finally say. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She turns and smiles at me, and it's an almost unbearably sexy look. She runs her fingers across my forehead and into my hair.

"I'm good," she says, still with that slinky smile. "Really, really good." She yawns hugely then. "But I'm really, really tired now."

I yawn right back at her. "Me, too, though if you keep looking at me like that, I won't be able to sleep. And neither will you."

She chuckles. "Let's find the sleeping bags."

We put the room back together and crawl into the bags.

I'm drifting off, when Tris murmurs, "Tobias?"

"Mmm hmm?"

"I love you."

"Mmm hmmm."

"Tobias?"

"Mmm?"

"Even if you don't mean it, don't kiss her again, okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"Mmm hmmm."