Chapter 18: Italy
Bucky,
It's been nearly a year since I heard from you. Don't worry, I'm not angry with you, just an observation. I know you're probably busy winning the war. I thought that was supposed to be my job, but I don't suppose I'll be too angry if you manage it instead.
Last I heard from you, you said you were in Italy. Azzano, right? Funny story – now that my project is done (no I can't tell you how it went, you know I signed a confidentiality agreement) the SSR wants nothing more to do with me. Out of the kindness of his heart, or so he says, Howard Stark has offered me a job. He's heading to the European Theater, and he's bringing me with him. Guess where we're going?
I don't know if this letter will get to Italy before I do. If it does, look out for me, will you? I want to see you again, it's been so long since we spoke face-to-face. If I get there first… well, it'll be a nice surprise, I hope.
See you soon,
Belle
The camp was about as horrible as I had expected, dreary and muddy. Everything seemed to have adopted a uniform mud color scheme. Anything that wasn't covered in actual mud had been painted that color to just get it over with. Everything was that boring khaki color the military seemed to love so much.
I thought back to the green rolling hills of Kentucky, the wide fields, the swaying white blossoms of the locust trees and the smell of the barn in fall. I missed it all more than I'd ever expected I would and being in such a depressing, colorless place made it all the worse.
"Where are the rest of the troops?" I asked, looking around curiously. The camp seemed smaller than it should. The larger tents housing ammo, weapons, and equipment were few and far between and there were large spaces between the smaller soldier's tents. All told, it looked like there were barely fifty men.
Peggy paused beside me. She was supposed to be giving me the 'grand tour' of the camp while Howard settled in to his 'lab.' I'd seen the place – it looked like a glorified shed, made of panels that could be easily disassembled and moved around. I could only imagine that he was pitching a fit about the accommodations.
"Didn't you hear?" she asked uncertainly.
I shook my head, rising up on my toes to try and see around a large tent. "Hear what? Did some of them leave?" I frowned. "That would be horrible timing. This is the 107th Infantry, right? Bucky should be here."
Dimly I heard Peggy mumble "Oh, God." The way she said it, the absolute pity and worry, made me abandon my search and turn to her with wide eyes. Her expression was etched with sympathy.
"Josie," she said weakly. "These troops…" She didn't want to tell me, whatever it was. It was that bad.
"What happened?" I asked grimly. My heart was pounding and there was a horrible swooping sensation in my stomach. I knew it was possible, I knew there was a chance that Bucky was… but now, I couldn't even make myself think it, because making myself think it made it possible."Peggy, what happened?!" My voice was nearly hysterical.
Peggy sighed. "Schmidt sent a force out to Azzano. Two hundred men went up against him." Peggy hesitated again. "Less than… Less than fifty came back."
My head was spinning. I may not have heard from in a while, but that didn't mean anything to me. It had been a privilege for me, to have a friend outside of my family, to just know Bucky. The idea that he might no longer be in the world… it made my heart hurt more than it ever had before.
"I don't know if he is one of the ones that's missing," Peggy said uncertainly. Bless her, she was trying to make me feel better.
"I need… I need to see Phillips," I murmured. He would know who was MIA, he would be able to tell me if Bucky was here or if he was…
Without caring about the mud splattering up my legs, I sprinted towards the command tent.
Ten minutes later I staggered out, feeling like I'd just been smashed over the head with a hammer. The world around me was even duller than before. The mud had dried on my stockings and was itchy and flaky, but I didn't care. The rain trickled down from above, smearing my makeup and flattening my hair, but I didn't care.
Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.
MIA.
"I'm sorry, Josie."
He'd wanted me to watch out for Steve while he was gone. I'd done that, I'd done it as well as I could, but it was Bucky who need watching out for. Maybe if I was here, maybe I could have done something, I could have kept him out of danger.
I mentally smacked myself. Right, because they would have let me come over here and join the front lines. There was nothing I could have done, and that was probably the worst part. I was used to being capable, of being in control of situations. But suddenly I was helpless, and I didn't know how to handle it.
I smacked into something solid and unyielding. The smell of paper and chemicals washed over me. I opened my eyes to find myself staring at a large white star stitched across a wide chest.
"Hello Steve," I said softly, stepping back and looking up so that I could see his face. He looked just like he had when he came out of the capsule – the serum hadn't lost any of its potency. His outfit was ridiculous though. I'd seen the posters, seen the pictures of him in the star-spangled uniform. I knew he was taking his show on the road to Europe to see the troops, I just hadn't paid much attention to the specific stops.
"Josie," he greeted, smiling down at me. That was when I realized he didn't know about Bucky. He couldn't have, if he was still smiling like that. It hit me like a punch in the gut and I lost my air. "I just saw Howard, he said you were here. How are you? It's been a while."
I opened my mouth to reply; with what I wasn't sure. Cheerfully chirp I was okay and it was nice to see him before rushing off to cry in my tent? To blurt out the horrible truth and watch his face fall into one of grief?
I couldn't even managed to choke out a 'nice' before the tears prickled my eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Steve," I gasped, and turned, rushing away. I dodged and weaved around soldiers and tents, ignoring the people calling out after me in surprise. I was glad Peggy had showed me the tent we'd be sharing before I abandoned her. I flew through the flaps and sat myself down on the edge of the bed.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't be weak, you're not weak…
For once the voice snarling at me from the back of my head wasn't strong enough. I felt the tears burn as they trickled down my chilled cheeks. A sob rose from within my chest. I clenched my jaw, tried to fight it down, but it came anyway, through trembling lips. Like it had opened a floodgate the tears fell faster and the sobs came stronger.
I seized my pillow and clutched it to my face in a desperate attempt to quiet the noises I was making. I fell sideways on the bed, curling my legs up tightly and clutching the pillow to my chest, burying my face in it. I laid there and shuddered as I tried to get control, but my mind kept spinning off in traitorous directions when I tried to comfort myself.
He might not be dead, I told myself. He's listed as MIA, he might only be captured, not killed. But captured by HYDRA, dear god, what must he have been through? What might they have done to him?
A fresh wave of sadness washed over me and this time I didn't even try to stop it, I just let the tears fall.
I must have cried myself to sleep, because the next thing I knew Peggy was standing over me and shaking me. She was clad in a jumpsuit and tossed a second one at me.
"Clean yourself up and get dressed," she barked, gesturing to my face. Befuddled, I glanced at the mirror hanging on one support post of our tent and winced. My bun was a wreck, tilted to one side from lying down. My makeup was smeared and dark lines trailed down my cheeks form crying. I glanced down at my pillow and saw smears of makeup.
"What's going on?" I said, setting the pillow aside and reaching for the jumpsuit.
"Steve found out about your sergeant," Peggy explained, turning around to give me some semblance of privacy as I stripped and began to climb into the jumpsuit.
I winced. "Oh god, is he okay?" I knew it was a stupid question the moment I asked it, and going by the dark look Peggy shot me over her shoulder, she agreed. Her back was stiffer than usual and I could practically smell the stress rolling off of her. Something was going on, something she wasn't happy about.
"He's planning a rescue mission," Peggy said bluntly. I straightened up, both legs and one arm in the jumpsuit.
"What?" I demanded incredulously.
"That was my reaction, but then he-" Peggy paused, not seeming to know how to explain it. She didn't need to.
"He was Steve," I said quietly, heart swelling. Erskine would have been so proud of Steve if he was still around.
I could imagine it, Steve insisting he needed to do this was such conviction. It was much how I felt at the idea. I needed to go along, and I was glad Peggy had come to fetch me.
Peggy cleared her throat. "Howard has agreed to fly us all past enemy lines."
"Us?" I questioned. I understood Howard flying – he was the best civilian pilot we had access to. But Peggy and I?
"I have access to maps of the front," Peggy explained. "And you…" She shook her head. "To be honest, I didn't want you to come, but Howard insisted he need you and, to my surprise, Steve agreed that you probably needed to do this too."
I could have kissed the both of them, really I could.
I wiped the remains of my makeup off and began yanking pins out of my hair. With deft motions I reworked it into a long braid down my back and tied it off. I felt freer than I had in days, and more determined.
"Let's go."
Peggy and I had to sneak behind tents to get to the airfield. We would have drawn attention, the both of us in our jumpsuits, Peggy with a pair of maps rolled up in her hands. When we arrived, Howard was examining the underside of a wing on the small plane we'd flown in on and Steve stood nearby, fastening on a helmet with the letter A on the front under his chin. A pair of goggles rested on the brim.
"We ready?" Howard asked as he saw us approaching. I nodded firmly and Howard grinned in reply. He looked excited, like he was ready to get in on the action. "Then all aboard!"
He climbed into the plane, making his way to the cockpit. Steve, Peggy and I followed him aboard. With a wrench, Steve shut the door behind us and bolted it, settling into one of the seats. Peggy and I sat across from him. This place was nicer than most, with leg room and leather seats, but I couldn't have cared less right now as Howard started the engine. We taxied down the runway, and in under a minute, we were in the air.
"Thank you for doing this Howard," I called over the roar of the engines. Howard held up a hand and waved, watching the sky in front of us as we climbed higher, headed for Austria.
"Not a problem, Josie!"
"And thank you for letting me come," I added to Steve. He flushed slightly, which was much almost more adorable now that he was so much bigger.
"Well, once I heard, I realized why you were so upset when I ran into you. I thought… I thought it might help if you were doing something," Steve admitted with a shrug.
"It does, thank you."
My eyes slid from him to the four parachutes and goggles not far away, one set for each of us should everything go pear-shaped. I knew Steve would be taking one, and I was closer than Peggy, to the chutes and to the door. I didn't know much about parachutes beside pulling the chord and hoping for the best, but even if I landed hard, that shouldn't be a problem…
Bucky had asked me to try and keep Steve out of trouble if I could. I couldn't take care of him if I wasn't with him, right? And there was no way I'd be able to stop him from going after Bucky. I didn't want to. So really, the only option I had was to go with him.
The idea made a twinge of fear coil up in my gut, but it also made my instincts hum at the prospect of a fight. I closed my eyes, forcing them down but letting them simmer under the surface. I'd need them to come through this.
I knew the theory of fighting, I knew how to throw punches and kicks and I had the strength to do it. But a real fight, with my life on the line? That was new to me, and a misstep could endanger Steve or anyone we managed to save. I couldn't afford to be a scared little girl. I needed to be the Tigress I was nicknamed as a kid.
Peggy bent over the map that was spread across the knees of her jumpsuit and pointed with a pen. She scrawled a little H and gestured to it.
"The HYDRA camp is in Krausberg, between these two mountain ranges," she explained. "It's some kind of factory, but we don't know what they're making."
"We should be able to drop you on the doorstep!" Howard called back to us.
"Just get me as close as you can," Steve requested, grabbing one of the parachutes and fumbling with one of the latches as he strapped himself in. "You know you three are going to be in a lot of trouble when you land," he pointed out.
"You won't?" Peggy countered.
"Well, where I'm going if someone yells at me then I can just shoot them."
"They will undoubtedly shoot back," Peggy said.
Something about the way she looked at Steve when she said it, the calm but cautionary way she said it, and the way Steve looked back at her, made me realize that there was perhaps more going on there than I'd realized. I watched Steve's cheeks go pink and couldn't help but smile slightly.
"Then let's hope this is good for something," Steve said, reaching over and tapping on the shield that was sitting in the seat next to him.
"Hey ladies," Howard called back. "Agent Carter, if we're not in too much of a hurry I thought we could stop off in Lucerne for a late-night fondue?"
"Howard," I said warningly as Peggy's eyes flicked to Steve then down to her lap. Steve glanced at Peggy, looking slightly downhearted.
Peggy quickly changed the subject. "Stark is the best civilian pilot I've ever seen," she said. "He's mad enough to brave this airspace. We're lucky to have him."
Steve nodded. "So are you two… do you…" Fumbling over his words, he gestured between Howard and Peggy. "Fondue?" he asked weakly. I resisted the urge to cover my mouth with a hand and laugh. I got the feeling Steve didn't know what fondue was. He thought it was a euphemism for something.
Shaking her head in confusion, Peggy reached into one of the many pockets on her jumpsuit and pulled out a little silver box, passing it over to Steve. "This is your transponder. Activate it when you're ready and the signal will lead us straight to you."
Steve looked at the little box, taking in the Stark logo on the bottom. Leaning towards the cockpit, he called, "Are you sure this thing works?"
Howard scoffed. "It's been tested more than you have pal."
The plane rocked suddenly, a shell bursting not far from our wing. The air was suddenly riddled with streaks of light and explosions as shells were fired. We'd been sighted apparently, and as far as the forces on the ground were concerned, we needed to come down now.
Steve lunged out of his seat and yanked open the door, sitting on the edge of the opening and readying himself for the jump. Peggy's eyes widened and she shot out of her seat, rushing to his side.
This was my opportunity. I slipped out of my seat and grabbed a parachute, trying to be as quiet and as subtle as I possibly could as I buckled myself in. I kept an eye on Peggy, watching as she continued to fight with him.
"Get back here, we're taking you all the way in!" she ordered furiously.
"As soon as I'm clear you turn this plane around and get the hell out of here!" Steve countered, shouting over the roar of the wind. I snapped a buckle into place, but thankfully the engines, the bombs, and the rushing air all covered the sound.
"You can't give me orders!" Peggy countered.
"The hell I can't! I'm a captain!"
And with that, Steve pulled his goggles down over his eyes and leaped out of the plane. I grabbed one of the sets of goggles and tugged them down over my eyes. Peggy turned away from the door, resigned. Her eyes widened when she saw me, suited up and ready to jump. Horror crossed her expression as she realized that I fully intended to follow Steve.
"Josie, no!"
In two steps I had crossed the cockpit and leaped out of the plane. Peggy's terrified scream rang in my ears for a moment before the rushing of the wind snatched it away. I spread my legs and arms, and I was falling.
