Bonnie herded the guys into the WFCL studios at quarter to one, all of them reasonably awake and alert. She was proudly wearing her new tour t-shirt, the tie-dyed version of the "Monkees US Tour 1968" with the words "Boss Lady" emblazoned across the back. Genie (being the tie-dye artist) had presented presented it to her at breakfast on behalf of the tour crew. The "event" was recorded by the documentary camera crew, whose director insisted Bonnie say something for the fans. She turned her back, pointed to the words, and explained, "It's roadie for 'kick me'."

Now she shook the host Ron Britain's hand and introduced the guys, intending to make herself scarce for the interview. Ron wasn't having it.

"We have a chair and a mic set up for you here, Bonnie, so you can join us."

"Uh, no, thanks, I don't do that part, strictly behind the scenes," she demurred.

"A bit microphone shy," explained Davy.

Micky added, "And with a holler like hers, who needs a microphone?" This earned a prompt smack to the head.

Laughing, the host suggested, "Okay, well at least sit in the booth with Larry our producer. That way you can see the show."

Bonnie reluctantly agreed, muttering as she followed Larry into the booth, "Honey, I live the show..."

Larry told Bonnie where to sit and promised her the mic in front of her would remain dead, but she'd be able to hear whatever happened on the air. In the on-air studio, Ron was getting the guys settled. After they sat in their respective chairs and ran the mic test he ran them through the routine.

"Okay guys, I'm gonna give the usual kinda interview, questions about the gig tonight and tomorrow, about the new album, and plans for the show's next season. In between we're gonna take some calls from fans, all of them screened," he hastened to add to calm the four worried looks. "No personal questions from them, or from me, per the agreement I signed with Barry." He pulled out their newest album and cued it up on the turntable. "And of course, he suggested cuts to play. We'll go with what's on the charts. Just be yourselves, but please don't touch the equipment!"

"My good man," Micky objected in his plummiest fake accent, "we are not savages."

Mike breathed an inner sigh of relief. He was not into having to explain Love is Only Sleeping, especially not to some simpering fan.

"Okay guys I'll do the intro then we're gonna play in with For Pete's Sake and then go into the live segment."

The on-air light went bright and he went into his riff.

"Good afternoon Chicago, it's one p.m. I'm Ron Britain with all your favorite hits, and today my special guests, as I know you have guessed, are the Monkees, who are appearing live here in town tonight and tomorrow night. Say hi, guys."

They all offered various versions of "hello", and Ron continued, "We're gonna start off with a cut off the newest album, the end theme for their hit TV show." He hit the turntable button and switched off the mics.

And so it went. They, and Bonnie on occasion, had sat through innumerable of the same kind of interviews to hype the concert in whatever city they happened to be in. Pushing the album, thrilling some breathless fans who never remembered to turn down their radios when calling, and repeating about a thousand times the date(s), time, and location of the concert. Larry the producer screened all calls and hit the cutoff button for any fan who was too hysterical or who gave him a question deemed personal or generally inappropriate.

Bonnie only half paid attention from the producer's booth. She knew the drill... Peter was sweetly ethereal, Micky was almost crazy, David would be charming each and every listener - and their mothers, probably - right out of their go-go boots, and Mike would be satirical. They seldom said the same thing twice, but it might has well have been from a script. As the music and live segments played on Bonnie let her mind wander to the gig tonight. Load in was done, no load out until tomorrow, and she might actually be able to relax and watch some of the show from the house instead of the wings, (where she always ended up passing props and helping with quick costume changes). Practically a vacation.

Suddenly Larry was tapping her on the shoulder. "Listen up, Ron's talking to you."

Sure enough Britain was addressing her from the other room.

Live. On-air.

"Bonnie, Sherry from Champaign has a question for the Boss Lady."

Bonnie jerked to attention, frantically waving and shaking her head "no".

Davy piped up, "She's a little microphone shy, luv," repeating his earlier explanation.

"C'mon, Bonnie," Micky cajoled, "Kerry's coming over a hundred miles to the gig, give her a break. We promise it won't become a habit, you mean old thing."

Bonnie's narrowed eyes warned him, oh you are gonna get SUCH a smack after this. She told Larry, "Go ahead and make me live." The mic's red light went on.

"Hi Kerry, sorry about that. David's right, I tend to keep my mouth shut around microphones." Damn, she thought, I called him David. Everybody "out there" knows him as sweet little Davy.

"So THAT'S how we do it!" Peter exclaimed. "Ron, hang a mic around my neck."

"Ha, ha, Peter," Bonnie cut in. "Okay Kerry, what can I tell you that you don't already know? You fans seem to know everything about the Monkees."

A young voice, a bit nervous, answered her.

"Well it's not about them, it's about you. Your job, I mean."

"That could take a while but lemme give it a shot."

"So every girl everywhere wants your job..."

"And there are days they can have it, believe me."

Sherry's laughter tinkled through the speakers

"Well I'm sure like me everybody out here is wondering, how did you GET such a cool job? How did you plan for it, and go out to get it, and how would somebody like me do the same thing?"

"Wow. That's even more complicated than your lead-in." She used the music jargon without thinking. She thought for a minute about where she'd come from, how she'd gotten here. It was a winding road to say the least. "Well when I came to L.A. from New York I didn't have a job, or even a plan. I answered this ad in the paper that sounded like any other business looking for help. I had no experience in television, in music talent management, I was basically a qualified administrative assistant, that's it. You have to understand, the show wasn't even on the air yet. So I went in blind, kind of like the Monkees did, and well... here I am a few years later. Strictly on-the-job training. So you see I don't have much in the way of advice... sorry."

"Sounds like you saw a job and just jumped for it."

"Yeah. That says it all. So if you put a gun to my head - sorry, not the best thing to say on the air, huh? - if I had to come up with an answer I'd say if you see what looks like a good opportunity, go for it. Even if it looks crazy, which the show's ad for actors did look really crazy, just say 'why not' and go for it. None of us knew where this would lead, but here we are. So... if you wanna call it advice, say that. Go for it." She paused for a second and added, "And definitely finish high school. College helps to."

"Where did you go to college?"

This was going longer than she expected.

"Uh, I didn't. But it couldn't hurt! Oh, and one more thing. If you manage to get in on the ground floor of the best gig imaginable..."

"Yes?"

"Be careful what you wish for."

More laughter from Sherry then. "Thanks so much Bonnie."

"You're more than welcome. Enjoy the concert."

The call ended and when Ron came on-air again it became obvious what he and the guys had been talking about as she spoke with Sherry.

"So the Monkees have told me a little secret, that today is their Boss Lady Bonnie Morris's birthday. They asked me to cue up a specially significant song for her, and if I don't, they've threatened to sing Happy Birthday."

"In Pig Latin," Mike drawled.

"In Pig Latin," Ron continued. "Why don't I let Peter introduce this one."

In the engineer's booth Bonnie was dying a thousand deaths. If they had picked "Sweet Young Thing" she swore it would lead to an on-air murder-suicide.

"So today is Bonnie's birthday," Pete began, smiling widely at Bonnie through the studio window, "and it's Saturday."

"And she drives us wild," added Davy.

When the unmistakable "bum BUM da bum BUM" base line led in, she matched Peter's smile with her own. When the music reached the bridge, the guys burst into song (not on-the-air, thank God) and finished in perfect four part harmony:

I know that Saturday's got what it takes babe
I can tell by the waaayy she looks at meeeeeee...

After the song played out Ron went live again to thank the guys, and Bonnie, and David, Pete, Micky, and Mike gave their usual sign-offs.

When Bonnie entered the on-air booth Ron shook her hand. "Thanks for being such a good sport."

"Oh man," she told him, "if you only knew how easy this coulda gone South..." She handed him a dozen passes, six for each night's gig. "Okay guys, let's roll. Sound check at four."

Groans all around.

As they got to the hotel limo Mike said to nobody in particular, "Well that went better than expected."

"Thanks a lot, cowboy," Bonnie snapped back as they slid into the car. Mike skipped the usual reply.

"Relax mama." He calmed her down with a kiss.

"Okay, okay..."she conceded. "Yeah it went pretty well for somebody like me who doesn't do interviews. And thanks for not playing Sweet Young Thing for my birthday... really.

"Hey, we all know who the sweet young thing is in this gang," Micky quipped, pointing to Nesmith's new belt buckle.

"And besides mama," Mike growled as he gave her neck a playful kiss, "You do drive me wild."


A/N: The unnamed "new album" is as AU as the story, and here contains songs from other recordings.