(I've actually had this done for a while but I was trying to write a few chapters at a time and yeah that wasn't working. I have plenty of stories and I plan to update them. So enjoy this! Thanks!)

Chapter 3

An Empty Presence

The days dragged on it seemed like. Ever since Sebastian left and school started for Ciel he felt himself sinking lower in lower within himself. A small fog of depression overcame him. The school always stemmed stress for him. Everything was just a little more overwhelming for him, going through his last 2 years of school without his parent and then, the rest of his life. The only thing Ciel had to look forward to was Sebastian's call at the end of the night. He loved to listen to his deep voice resonate through his phone and into his ear. It was the best feeling in the world to hear Sebastian's voice. If he closed his eyes while on the phone with him it would be like he was there with him. Even though, he didn't feeling the presence of his friend, which Ciel loved.

Ciel sat at his homework desk walking for the call. He was already so tired and he just wanted anything to reassure him. Suddenly his phone vibrated on his desk. He fumbled with it a moment and forgot to check the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Oh my god you actually picked up this time!" Ciel grit his teeth.

"Dammit, Trancy I'm waiting for Sebastian to call!" Ciel said venomously.

"Okay, GEEZ!" Alois sounded offended. "No need to be so rude Ciel."

"Goodbye!" Ciel said obnoxiously.

"Fine! See you Ciel~!" Alois hung up.

Ciel sighed, 'What am I going to do with him?' Ciel sat there in silence again that seemed like forever. Then his phone ring again. This time he check the caller ID and was relieved to see it was Sebastian this time.

"H-hello?" Damn, why did he stutter? Fucking stutter.

"Hey, ah god so tired, but made sure I made time to talk to my fave boy." Sebastian said groggily. Ciel blushed, Sebastian always teased him but Ciel never reacted to it the way he did just now.

"Y-you're tired? Maybe I should let you go, so you can sleep." Ciel suggested, he missed him so much but just hearing his voice for a few seconds sated him.

"Nah, no way. You wait all day to talk to me and I wait too. So, how's school been?" There it was. Ciel felt a pang in his chest. He didn't want to talk about it had been so awful so far. After the fire Ciel would get these panic attacks. They had calmed down a bit a couple of weeks ago. Although, on the second day of school one such occurrence happened. He was in chem class and his teacher was giving a demonstration. Everything was all hunky dory until he turned the bunsen burner on. It was just a small flicker of a blue-almost white flame. Ciel's heart nearly stopped, his throat dried up and his heart beat faster. He couldn't swallow, his breath became erratic and he ran out of the classroom sick to his stomach. His knees felt weak and he almost doubled over in sheer shock. His body shook and nearly passed out. He could never tell Sebastian that, he knows him; he'll freak out and get all concerned. He always had when these attacks happened.

"F-fine." Ciel voice peaked like he was going through puberty again and he cringed at the sound of it.

The line lay silent for a moment as Ciel waited to the laughter and teasing to follow. But it didn't. "Ciel Vincent Phantomhive, you know you can't lie to me. Especially when your voice cracks so harshly."

"Okay-okay! I had a teensy weensy little panic attack in chem the other day. But! It was no big deal I handled it!" It was a big deal actually; he was sent to the counselor's office and in which he was sent home. On the second for crying out loud! He was so mad at himself for that. For once in his could he keep it together? Just once? No, a little fricken match makes him shit himself.

"Seriously, Ciel?" Sebastian sighed. "I can't leave you alone for two seconds without you having an attack."

"Fuck you! And it wasn't that bad so you can shut your damn mouth." Why does he keep lying to himself? He knows how bad it was. When Tanaka got him home he was shaking on the couch, near close to tears. He felt so pathetic when he was that weak. He wished he could have had Sebastian there. He would have calmed him down the moment he started shaking.

"Hey calm down! I'm sorry, I wish I was there." Sebastian said.

'I wish you were here too.' Ciel thought, eyes growing weary.

"I should let you go, you have a class early right? Thanks for calling, it really keeps me sane." Ciel bit his lip and blushed, he missed his friend so much that he ached.

"Yeah." Sebastian yawned in which cased Ciel to smile. His yawns were always so loud and overly drawn out, all on purpose. "And hey, if you ever have an attack again, ever if it was just a small one, I don't want you hiding it from me, okay? You're my best friend, I don't know what'd I do if you broke down."

"I promise...uh, Sebastian..." Ciel paused a moment, feeling the heat in his cheeks. "Goodnight." He finally said.

"Night, Ciel, sleep tight; don't let the bedbugs bite." Ciel smiled before he ended the call. He set his phone aside and flopped onto his bed.

"God...tired," He mumbled into the sheets. He blushed fiercely as he closed his eyes and curled up on the bed. "Fuck-god, what the hell is he doing to me." He muttered. His eyes closed softly, pulling the blanket over his bare legs and pulling the pillow close in his arms. He felt so vulnerable, wrecked, so broken. His heart sank deep within his chest. He hated this feeling; fuck, he hated it so much. He wished he couldn't feel any emotion at all, then he wouldn't feel pain, shock or even stupid shitty love for that big goof he just spoke to on the phone. That's all he wanted, was to feel nothing anymore. Nothing in the world could change that. He clonked out then after.

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The next morning was shitty as it was raining-typical for London but that's not the point. Ciel woke up late, causing him to miss the bus for school and making Tanaka late for work. He felt awful for that. Next he was greeted by an overly happy morning person. The blonde wouldn't shut up through their first period which they shared. God-if there was a time to take him out it would have been right then, holy hell.

"...and I talked to Claude last night, holy shit he is shut a bloody flirt! And then...eh, Ciel, uh HELLO? EARTH TO CIEL?" Alois rose his voice rudely as he notice had paid him no mind.

"What? God, fuck you don't shut the hell up!" Ciel fumed, this wasn't unusual; Ciel was always a grump in the mornings.

"Did you hear a bloody word I said?" Alois furrowed his eyebrows in anger.

"Yeah! Shit, you talk my ear off Trancy!"

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Icy blue eyes glared at the side of his friend's profile. Ciel stayed silent and decided not to fuel the fire any longer. "Fine! Have it your way!" The blonde sulked. Ciel rolled his eyes, it was back and forth between them really. They could never hold a solid conversation with each, even if they wanted too. "I'm sorry," he heard Alois say. "I know you're in a bad mood because you miss Sebastian; I'm sorry okay?"

"It's fine," He said, solemnly. He more than missed Sebastian, he ached for him. He needed to see his face and hear his laugh, to see that dorky smirk of his that always pissed him off.

"Hey, do you want to go eat after school? My treat!" Alois smiled. "Hey, I have to get your mind off him somehow. Just you and me, what do you say?"

"Okay, fine," Ciel rolled his eyes.

"Damn, don't make it sound like such a chore. Have fun for once!" The blonde playfully pushed him.

Ciel cracked a small smile, it quickly erased itself from existence. "Don't push me!" He countered to cover up his slip up.

"Don't be a dick! I'm being nice to you! I'm always nice to you."

"Pft, never heard that one before."

"Hey, shut up." Alois turned away after the shitty comeback left his lips.

"Shut up? Really, that's the best you can come up with?" Ciel scuffed. "Lame."

"You're lame, Phantomhive!" Alois huffed. "See if I ever do anything nice for you ever again." He trailed off, mumbling as he notice the teacher getting ready to start class.

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The final bell rang and Ciel felt so relieved that the week was over. He was going to sleep in all week. Well, he would, if he didn't have to work at ten in the morning. He worked 10-4 on the weekends. He worked Monday, Wednesday, Thursday from 4-9 on the weekdays. It was exhausting but at least he didn't have to work that night.

Alois took Ciel to the restaurant down the street from school. Alois had his very own car, he got it the day he turned sixteen. It was a classic car that he got sprayed purple, his favorite color. It was his pride and joy. He took real good care of it.

"Pick anything you like!" Alois smiled, he really liked to spend time with Ciel. He was his best friend. Ciel hummed and looked to the over the menu. The place they were at was a small diner.

"I don't know..." He suddenly wasn't hungry. He got this weird feeling in his gut. Ciel sighed and just stared at the laminated piece of paper.

Alois looked up from his menu and notice Ciel's face. He looked a little upset, but not like he would cry upset, but upset. "Hey...are you okay?" He asked softly.

"Fine, totally fine." Ciel said, avoiding eye contact.

Alois sighed, realizing he wouldn't get through to his friend when he was like this. "Okay, okay." They fell silent after they got their meals. Alois began to worry about him. Ciel twirled his straw in his iced tea. He propped himself up on his elbow and lazily scooped up his soup in his spoon and put it into his mouth. He spun the spoon and scratched the bottom of the bowl. He had only taken two bites out of it. He felt sick to his stomach and he didn't know why. "Hey, Ciel..." Alois started, gaining Ciel's glance. "I know I'm not as close to you as you are with Sebastian, but when he's not here you know I am. I listen if you ever want to talk."

"I'm fine Alois, honestly," He gave him the fakest of smiles that Alois could clearly see through. "I know you want to help and really I'm thankful for that, but you have nothing to worry about! I'm fine!"

"That's a fat load of shit and you know it!" Alois figured calming talking to him was out of the question. "You've been emotionally distant since Sebastian left and you're just too scared to admit it! Ciel, you need to open up, I'm here for you!"

"I told you already, I'm fine!" Ciel began to raise his voice, slamming his hands on the table, making the plates and silverware jump, causing people to stare. "Look, I know you're trying to help but don't you think that maybe I want to deal with this on my own! If I try to talk to someone they always...they always leave!" Ciel sat back down and stared down at the table. He felt this feeling in his chest build and he like he was going to explode. It was true Ciel had been emotionally distant since Sebastian left. "Sooner or later, they'll all leave." He bit his lip and cringe as he realized he was about to cry. And in public too.

"Ciel...I won't leave I promise I won't go anywhere-!" He reached across the table to grab his hand when he stopped as Ciel's phone began to ring. He quickly picked up and noticed it was an unknown number. He hesitated to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Ciel Phantomhive?" The female voice on the other end asked.

"This is he."

"Hello, sir, name is Tracy, I am a nurse at the Community hospital here in London. I have your name down here as an emergency contact for Mr. Tanaka. He's had a heart attack." The lady explained.

"What?! Is he alright," Ciel began to freak out.

"What?! Who?" Alois jumped up, waiting in anticipation.

"He is unconscious at the moment but it was pretty serious, he needs to stay over night. You can come down to see him."

"Okay... okay, thank you, goodbye," His voice shook as he hung up.

"What, what's going on?! CIEL!" Alois started at the boy as he got up and began to collect his things.

"I'm sorry, I have to go; I'll call you later. Thanks for taking me out. I'll call you later, I just... I have to go!" His voice was urgent as he stumbled out of the diner. He felt dizzy; he felt sick, he didn't know what to do, so he kicked into high gear and started running. He booked it for as long as he could, but his body was so weak he only got about a block away and decided to grab the nearest bus stop.

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He made it in the next half hour. He rushed through the sliding doors as they opened upon visibility of his running form. He ran to the desk and asked the lady were Tanaka's room was. She told him he was on the third floor room 315. He went to the elevator and pressed the button to bring him up to the third floor. His heart was racing, he could feel it pounding in his ears. He felt like he couldn't breath when the elevator stopped on the third floor. He walked down the hall which was lined with closed doors.

"312...313...314...315," He gulped as the label on the side of the door read Tanaka's name. His heart nearly stopped as he saw him laying on the white sheets. He was so pale, he looked like a ghost. He could hear all the machines beeping and the tubes going in and out of his body. He breathed heavily, sitting next to the bed. "Tanaka, hey, I'm here. I don't know if you can hear me but I'm here. It's Ciel, I'm here." His hand shook as he placed it over Tanaka's. He stared at what seem to be a lifeless body; but the sight of seeing his chest rise and fall gave him hope. He was so wrapped up in watching Tanka, he jumped when his cell phone rang. "Ah, jesus...hello?" He answered.

"It's me," Ciel recalled the voice of Alois and sighed.

"I'm sorry I left like that. Tanaka's in the hospital, he had a heart attack at work today."

"Oh, geez is he okay?"

"They're keep him overnight and his unconscious right now...I don't know." Ciel's voice got smaller and smaller as he spoke.

"...are you okay, Ciel?" His tone dripped with worry.

"I-I'll be fine..."

"Are you sure? I can come down to the hospital, just say the word."

"No, no it's fine. I just need to stay with Tanaka."

"Okay, well, see you later then."

"Yeah, see ya." Ciel hung up the phone and put his focus back to Tanaka. "I'm not going anywhere..." He squeezed his hand and heard the old man groan. "T-Tanaka?"

The old man rolled his head over toward Ciel, opening his eyes and giving him a soft smile. "Ho ho ho, Ciel my boy..."

"Just hang on, I'll be right back to tell the doctor you're awake." Tanaka lay still as Ciel stood and walked out the room. He was too weak to protest. Ciel came back seconds later with the doctor.

"My, look at you!" The doctor was a female in her mid forties with short brown hair and blue eyes. "How are you feeling, Mr. Tanaka? Can you speak?"

"B-barely," Ciel felt his heart sink in his chest.

"It's alright, you don't need to talk." She pulled out her stethoscope and checked the man's pulse.

"Is-is he going to be alright?" Ciel was shaking, he couldn't control his emotions.

"He's fine right now, his pulse is weak, but still there..." She stopped speaking when she noticed Ciel's eyes waver. She gave him a warm smile. "I'm Dr. Ann, I assure you young man that he is in good hands. There is no need to worry." Ciel swallowed hard and nodded. "I'll be out at the nurses station if you need anything, alright?"

Ciel nodded, "Yeah-yes, thank you." She then, left the room after she checked over Tanaka. Ciel knelt back down at the old man's bed side. Ciel stayed there for hours and before he knew it it got late. He watched the hospital T.V hanging off the wall and just channel surfed for those few hours.

"Ciel, my boy, it's late." Tanaka rasped, his voice low and gruff. Ciel looked over at him and bit his lip, his heart jumping into his throat as he heard the old man wince. "Please, go home, sleep in your own bed, I'll be fine, you can see me in the morning."

"What? No way! I'm staying right here with you. I'll sleep on that chair over there; I'm not leaving-"

"Ciel, please, for me..." Ciel looked at the man and cinched his eyebrows together contemplating if he should stay or go.

"Al-alright..." Ciel watch as the man smiled. "You're okay right? I can stay if-"

"Please, go, I will be fine.." Ciel nodded over better judgment. He kissed the man's forehead and said his goodbye's, lingering in the room for as long as he could until he crossed the threshold of the door frame and finally left down the hallway.

Ciel got out to the parking lot and stood there for a long while, he didn't want to go home; he didn't want to be alone. He looked at his phone; it was almost nine thirty. He bit his lip. He really really didn't want to go back to that empty home, it was to big and hollow for him. He made his decision. He made his way to the closest underground subway station and bought a ticket. That's it, he had enough. It was 5 hours by car and by 2 subway. He needed to see Sebastian, right now; tonight. As he sat down and watched those doors close he realized that there was no turning back now.