Prologue:

After a yearlong and brutal battle against the evil demon Naraku, sixteen year old Kagome Higurashi was transported back to the modern era. Her unexplained disappearance was difficult to deal with. And for three years, Kouga tried to cope with her absence. But when she suddenly returned, he was ecstatic to see the girl he was hopelessly enamored with for so long was still alive and well. However, his happiness didn't last for long because Kagome had chosen Inuyasha in the end. It broke his heart but there wasn't much he could do without upsetting the human girl, so he tried to move on.

For Kagome on the other hand, things were much better. She earned her mother's blessing to stay in the feudal era for good. Inuyasha finally reciprocated her feelings and they were able to actually enjoy a relationship together. Aside from the half demon in her life, Kagome was grateful to have her old friends back and not have to worry about the Sacred Jewel anymore.

Speaking of friends, things were also going well for them. Mirouku's wind tunnel had disappeared, and he was father to three beautiful children who were birthed by none other than the lovely Sango. Kohaku had survived and was currently alive and slaying demons alongside Kirara. And Shippo was no longer the baby she remembered and was away training to become a strong demon.

Two years had passed in the feudal era, where Kagome studied alongside Rin and worked hard to master the ways of a priestess. Kaede and Jinenji were tough teachers but Kagome was determined to be better than her prior incarnation. Unfortunately Kagome's training had to be halted since she was expecting. She wasn't too far along and her stomach barely showed, but she was only two months pregnant or so. Regardless of this fact, she was on cloud nine, and Inuyasha was pretty happy about it too- though he was often pulled away from the village for battle. That was one thing that would never change. Inuyasha loved to fight.

In other words, things were perfect. Life for the heroes couldn't have been better. Everybody was happy. At least that's what they all thought in their little group. They were completely unaware of the turmoil their eastern comrade was going through.


Out in the eastern lands, the wolf prince occasionally got depressed when he thought of Kagome. She was meant to be his woman, or at least that's what he thought. But of course since he couldn't have her in his life as a mate, he kept his distance to protect his heart. So he repressed his feelings to the best of his ability and tried to distract himself with Ayame, who still vied for his attention and was desperate to advance their courtship into a mating. Any other male demon would have jumped at the chance to be paired with the redheaded beauty, but as it would seem, Kouga had a thing for brunettes, specifically a time traveling brunette with blue eyes.

Some days Kouga would fail at keeping his distance and would visit Kaede's village every once in a while and watch Kagome from afar. He wasn't sure why he did it, but he guessed it was because he was a glutton for punishment. His visits took an abrupt end however when he realized she was carrying Inuyasha's child. He had no choice but to keep away. It was just too painful. So he remained in the eastern lands and tried to force his relationship with Ayame, especially since he finally understood what it was like to not have one's feelings returned. He could only imagine how the green eyed wolf demoness felt watching him pine over a human girl who would never want him.

On one of the days when he was too busy to see Ayame in the northern lands, Kouga was startled to receive news from his scouting wolves that there were rumors of demon hordes attacking villages in the west.

"Do you think sister Kagome's village is alright, boss?" Hakkaku asked with sincere concern.

Kouga briefly glared at his subordinate for using the word 'sister,' he loved Kagome but he was still bitter from rejection. As a demon that aged slowly, five years was nothing and his wounds were still fresh.

He continued to grimace, "I'm sure mutt-face has her taken care of. He always does."

"But Kou-" Ginta began.

"What do you want me to do? She ain't my woman! I can't just rush over for every little thing!" he growled and looked away, "I already look pathetic."

Hakkaku and Ginta gave their fierce leader a sympathizing look. They understood how difficult it was for him to cope with the loss. Kouga was alpha, and at the prime age for mating, but the only female he found suitable for a mate was unavailable to him. Forever. Maybe time would pass and he would get over it. They weren't sure if it would happen anytime soon though. Wolves loved hard. Not to mention how territorial and possessive they could be. Alpha males were rarely denied what they wanted. Seeing Kagome mated and with child had to be humiliating for their young leader.

Kouga couldn't stand how they looked at him with pity. He gritted his teeth, "We can go and check it out after I attend to everything here. We need to secure our borders first. Naraku may be gone fellas, but if there really are gangs of demons attacking- we just need to make sure things are safe here."

They nodded in understanding and followed Kouga as he made his way out of the den.


Later on in the day, Kouga, Hakkaku and Ginta began their travels to the west. The trio didn't make it to Kaede's village until nightfall. They were on edge when they smelled smoke.

"Maybe they just have a huge fire pit going on?" Ginta suggested hopefully.

Kouga took a whiff to see what scents were mixed in with the smoke. It reeked of demons, which already made his fur stand up. Once he caught the muddled scents of blood and burning flesh, he broke out into a sprint that left his comrades in the dust.

In seconds he was outside Kaede's hut. The straw roof was in flames. "Kagome!" he called. Taking a step inside and scanning the area, he was relieved that he found no one inside. If his nose was correct, she hadn't been there in some time. His relief was short lived though when he realized he had no idea where Kagome could be. He stepped outside and sniffed the ground. He smelled… blood. 'No,' his eyes widened, 'she has to be okay…' he tried to convince himself as he ran into the center of the village.

'Maybe she went to visit the demon slayer!' he thought hopefully while he chased after her faint scent. He halted to a stop by the wooden bridge that went over the river. It was lined by bodies. At this point, his body had started to tremble, 'Inuyasha always takes care of her. Inuyasha always takes care of her,' he repeated in his head as a mantra. His gut was telling him something was very wrong.

This must have been what it was like for the human villages he used to attack with his wolves. The pang in his heart felt terrible. He was actually starting to regret his old life choices. Sure he'd stopped after he met Kagome, but he never realized he was just as evil as the demons who had caused this destruction.

"C'mon mutt-face…" Kouga growled as he searched through the piles of bodies, "Where are ya?"

His pointed ears twitched as he heard a scream, "Kouga!"

Without hesitation, he ran at full speed leaving a whirlwind behind. He arrived at the source of the sound. Hakkaku had called for him. He and Ginta were kneeled on the ground and their furs were stained with blood.

Slowly, Kouga glanced down. 'No, it can't be,' he thought. Kagome… She was. She was dead. And judging from the smell of it, she hadn't been for very long. Bruised and bloodied, almost beyond recognition.

Kouga dropped to his knees, and gathered her in his arms. He couldn't breathe. She felt broken in his arms. "No," he choked and shook his head in denial.

"No."

"No."

It was all his fault. He didn't come here sooner. He didn't protect her. He could have, but he didn't. He shouldn't have ever given her up in the first place. He knew mutt-face was inadequate, but he let her choose him. He didn't fight for her. He should have made her see he was the better choice. A pack of fierce wolf demons were far better protection than a lone dog. Sure, Inuyasha had his blade Tessaiga, but he was only one person- with limited demon strength after all.

Kouga's eyes blurred with tears as he remembered the last conversation he ever had with the dead girl in his arms, 'Kagome, you'll have to stay beside him. When you're done with mutt-face, come find me.' He said this as he held her hands lovingly as he often did. Kagome returned his final gesture with an almost sad smile. They embraced and went their separate ways.

Kouga shook off his momentary flashback and looked down at the body he was holding. 'So fucking stupid! I'm so fucking stupid! Why did I do that?' he thought to himself in agony as he held her tighter and cradled his cheek against hers, 'Where the hell is mutt-face!'

So busy in his own suffering, he didn't even notice his comrades flanking his sides and crying their eyes out unabashedly.

"Sister!" Ginta croaked.

They thought it was bad the first time they thought she died. This pain they were currently experiencing- as they looked upon her pale and limp body was nothing compared to the last time they mourned. At least last time there was no evidence of death, so they were able to hold out hope that she was still alive somehow. And they had been right. It had been a delightful moment when they discovered her return. But this, there was no denying this.

There was no mistaking it. Kagome was dead. Her child was dead, long before it even had a chance… Her body was cool to the touch. Blood slowly dripped from a gash in her stomach. She had been stabbed. Some evil bastard had actually stabbed a pregnant woman. What kind of monsters did that? Judging by the damage, it was apparent she had put up a fight.

Kouga shook with hurt and rage while he thought of how scared she must have been in her final moments. He couldn't hold it back anymore, he threw his head back and howled to the night sky in sorrow.

His life would never be the same.


Months passed, and then years.

Kouga could barely get through a day without feeling guilt and anguish. The woman he loved died because of his stubbornness and pride. If only he had gotten there sooner he told himself. To make matters worse, he had buried her on his lands. He couldn't just leave her to rot on the forest floor like that. She deserved a proper burial.

Ayame returned to the northern lands for good since she was unable to cope with Kouga's grief. She thought she was jealous of Kagome in life, but it was nothing compared to the jealousy she felt watching the demon she loved most be broken down by a ghost. The human girl truly haunted Kouga every minute of the day. Whatever Kagome had, Ayame just couldn't compare. So she simply left and Kouga did nothing to stop her.

In between his bouts of self-loathing and heartache, Kouga made time for rage. Obsessed, he eventually hunted down each demon that claimed responsibility for destroying the villages neighboring Inuyasha's forest, making sure their deaths were slow and painful. It was the least he could do to avenge his Kagome. It was almost scary at how much pleasure he got from slaughtering these foul beings.

Besides his mission to avenge Kagome, Kouga was unsure of the mutt's fate. He never found his body, only a puddle of his blood a many villages away. It seemed like the half dog demon had disappeared without a trace. The demon slayer, monk and fox kit were just as clueless about their friend's whereabouts as he was- and they were devastated at learning Kagome's fate.

Kouga hadn't particularly cared about what became of Inuyasha, for all intents and purposes he assumed the half breed was dead. And he kind of hoped Inuyasha was dead because he was sure that if he saw him again, well to be honest he'd probably kill him out of sheer anger. He was supposed to protect Kagome. What on earth could have pulled him away from his pregnant mate? It was just plain irresponsible.

On some nights when Kouga patrolled his lands, he would walk by Kagome's grave. He'd always make sure to stop a short distance away from the humble tomb and he would stare at it. Kouga would often get lost in his thoughts. He'd look longingly at the space and ask to no one in particular, "Why… why did you choose him?"

Of course there was never an answer.


Time went on, and Kouga found remaining in the den to be unbearable. He assigned his responsibilities over to Hakkaku and Ginta so he could explore Japan for a bit to clear his head. His tribesmen didn't object to his departure since Kouga's vicious demeanor wasn't productive to the pack. They hoped his travels would bring him peace.

His trip was supposed to be a short one. But his soul searching took much longer than anyone anticipated. Initially Kouga travelled with no purpose, almost like a zombie. At one point during his travels he heard whispers and folklore of individuals who could bring back the dead. Kouga had scoffed at such tales at first, but then one day when he was lost in his flashbacks, he remembered Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's elder brother possessed a magical blade and stone that brought his young human ward back to life on more than one occasion. That power, he realized had to come from somewhere. And thus, Kouga's journey went from trying to get over Kagome's death to reversing it. From that moment on, Kouga journeyed throughout Japan in search of priestesses, monks, shamans, witches, and any other magical or spiritual being he could think of. He needed his woman back.

Throughout his travels, he came across many who claimed they had clairvoyant abilities and could bring loved ones back from the dead. It always ended the same; their words were all a pile of horse crap to say the least. But he always gave them a chance to prove themselves, he wouldn't pass up a chance to get his love back.

By the tenth year away from the pack, Hakkaku and Ginta caught up to him in the south. To them it seemed that Kouga had been walking aimlessly throughout the wilderness, but little did they know he walked with purpose following a magical aura's trail.

"Kouga!" they cried in unison and ran to catch up to their leader.

The wolf prince turned around to see his old friends closing in on him, "Heh, what are you guys doing here?"

The pair halted to a stop in front of their leader and took a moment to catch their breath. They straightened up and looked at Kouga nervously.

"We're sorry boss." Hakkaku said sympathetically, "but we think it's time you come home."

Kouga scoffed and looked his once subordinate in the eye. Hakkaku could see he was tired. At such a young age, their leader shouldn't have had such deep set expression lines. He looked older than he was- like he had seen a lifetime of pain.

"Just let me be." Kouga grumbled.

Ginta put a hand on the wolf prince's shoulder, "Please Kouga?"

Kouga began to growl but abruptly stopped when he looked back at his friend. He took a real good looked at him. He could tell he and Hakkaku were having a tough time just like he was.

"The pack?" Kouga questioned.

"We're not doing so well," Ginta admitted and looked away ashamed of their failure. The pack was truly suffering without Kouga's leadership. They were starving and constantly trying to defend their lands from encroaching demons.

The once leader of the eastern wolf clan sighed, "Not yet…"

Hakkaku crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow curiously, "Kouga, may I ask… What are you doing here?"

Kouga shrugged, unsure of what to say. Would they think he was mad if he told them the truth?

"There's been rumors of a powerful witch in some ruins near here. They say she can grant any wish-" he began.

"But if that were true, there wouldn't have been much need for the Sacred Jewel." Hakkaku said.

Kouga's nose flared at being interrupted and at hearing the mention of the jewel that caused so much misfortune, "Keh, well too bad the jewel doesn't exist anymore, huh?"

"Kouga, you should come home." Ginta said softly.

The wolf prince turned and growled venomously, "Can you blame me!"

His friends flinched back. They knew the wrath their leader could dish out. They'd seen him slaughter countless demons after all. It took a few moments for his seething to subside, but when he saw the fear in his friends' eyes, he looked away to calm himself down. They looked frail. How could he blame them for wanting him to return? At that moment Kouga realized he was being selfish by neglecting those who needed him most. He would not make that mistake again.

"One last time," Kouga whispered as he turned on his tail to continue his travels throughout the southern isles of Japan.


A week of traveling, and the wolf trio had no luck finding the supposed wish granting witch.

'Why can't I just get her out of my head? Why did I have to love her so damn much!' he brooded as they walked through an impoverished village, whose inhabitants cowered in fear as they walked.

"What's on your mind?" Hakkaku asked in attempt to make conversation.

Surprisingly, the somber prince answered, "Wondering how things could have been different."

"Oh? How so?" Ginta asked curiously.

"Hmm… I don't know. Just stupid wishful thinking I guess." Kouga responded.

Ginta debated if he should say what had been on his mind for some time, but he continued despite his better judgement, "Ya know, I hope this isn't too out of line…"

He flinched as Kouga eyed him warningly, "I just- uh, used to wonder what it'd be like if we met sis sooner, ya know. Like before Inuyasha did. She might have liked staying with us at the den if he wasn't always in the way."

Kouga paused mid-step. He hadn't thought of that before. Sure he often fantasized about Kagome loving him instead of Inuyasha- but he never took into consideration how things could have been different if he had met her first. Kouga often told himself she was blinded by the mutt. He sensed that there was some attraction there, deep down. Or at least he told himself it was there… What if she couldn't realize her feelings for him because their timing was off?

Quickly Kouga recovered and shook his head. He resumed walking. That was ridiculous. Meeting someone first shouldn't impact how much you liked one person over another. After all, Kouga had pulled out all the stops to woo the girl. He brought her flowers, caressed her skin, showered her with compliments and declarations. Having his romantic gestures ignored solely because Kagome had met the mutt-face first, well, it just seemed stupid.

"Ginta." Kouga said in a stern tone while his subordinate looked up cautiously, "Shut up."


Days passed and Kouga was about ready to give up. If he spent any more time in the south, his clan would surely suffer further without his leadership. He had already failed as an alpha when it came to protecting his woman, he didn't need to lose his pack too.

"Hey Kouga! Look!" Hakkaku yelled and he pointed to a rather large ancient temple. It looked like it could have been a beautiful structure at some point in time, but the splintered wood, tattered rice paper and lacquer gave away that the place hadn't been cared for in ages.

Hakkaku and Ginta stole glances at at their boss. He had a look of determination in his eyes that they hadn't seen in a long time. They silently looked at each other in understanding that their leader needed to attend to his business. Alone. They stayed in their spots while he walked up a series of steps that led to the temple.

Kouga glanced at broken statues and overgrown vegetation that lined the staircase. 'Why am I doing this to myself? What do I expect to find here?' his conscience wondered negatively, but the part of him that loved Kagome shook it off as he continued his ascent.

When he reached the top of the steps, he slowly slid open the rickety shoji door and took a step inside. The sun was setting, which barely allowed any light to enter the abandoned monument, not that the wolf demon needed it. It only took a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

He walked further into the temple. The inside was just as messy as the scattered outside. Weeds and tall grass sprouted through cracks in the floor along with rubble scattered about the walkways and shelves. He passed by silk tapestries torn to shreds, not giving much thought on how they became that way. He also ignored the withered paper sutras that covered the walls- or how they were once meant to keep out his kind.

Kouga sniffed the air. Someone had been inside the temple not too long ago. He followed the scent trail to where it was strongest.

He arrived in a seemingly empty room. A koi fish figurine was placed in its center, surrounded by a bed of wildflowers. The simple piece of decoration appeared illuminated in the darkness. At first, Kouga hadn't been impressed by the display, but he began to eye the setup suspiciously while he took a few steps into the room. 'How are these alive in a place like-'

But his thought was interrupted as he stepped on an invisible trip wire and a rope quickly wrapped around his ankle, dragging him up through the air.

The wolf prince growled and clawed at the rope, but it would not tear. From his position he could see it wasn't an average woven rope. It was translucent and glowed a light shade of blue, much like it was created out of some form of energy. He assumed this was the result of the magic in the temple.

"Who the hell did this?" he growled, "Do not play games with me! I won't hesitate to kill you!"

"I don't think it'd be wise to make any threats, wolf," a voice purred in the shadows.

Kouga's eyes quickly scanned the room, but he saw no one, "Who is there?" he commanded.

A woman gracefully stepped out from the shadows and slinked over to him much like a predator stalking its prey, "Me? Oh, I believe it should be you who explains yourself, demon," she purred.

The woman stopped in front of the young wolf prince, smirking that he was caught in such a simple trap. She stared at his upside down form expectantly with yellow glowing eyes.

Kouga looked back at the woman. If he didn't know better, he would have assumed she was a cat demon, but she lacked a demonic scent and aura. Her long gray hair and inhuman eyes told him she was no ordinary mortal being.

"I am looking for the wish granting witch," he began.

"Nozomi," she said as she adjusted her navy haori, "you seek Nozomi's help."

She took a step forward and stared intently on the wolf prince, "And why should Nozomi help the likes of you? Humans and demons have sought her out for centuries… You're all wasted energy. So selfish."

Kouga eyed the woman carefully. She appeared young, but he didn't like the feeling he got from her. Though in part that feeling could have been from the blood rushing to his head.

"Let me down." He demanded stubbornly.

"You dare be so rude. You enter another's domain and try to tell this Nozomi what to do." she laughed darkly, "What is it you want, wolf demon? Power to destroy your enemies?"

"No…"

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion briefly and then raised in surprise, "Oh? You have nerve to lie to me?"

Kouga reached up to the rope around his ankle in attempt to free himself. He was losing his patience. He had been waiting for this moment for years.

Nozomi looked at the wolf curiously, and with a smirk the rope disappeared and he landed with a thud. It only took a moment for the wolf to recover from his fall until he jumped to his feet. He got in a defensive stance and growled.

"What is it you want, demon? I won't ask you again."

Kouga snorted, "That's Kouga, leader of the eastern lands to you, woman."

She crossed her arms, "A spoiled demon with a title then. And you say it's not power you seek. Mighty unusual I must say."

Kouga eased up on his stance, "What are the extent of your powers?"

Growing bored with the conversation, the mysterious woman walked over to the koi figurine and kneeled. She ignored the wolf for a minute or two and glanced over her shoulder, "Do you know what the carp symbolizes, wolf? It represents perseverance, faithfulness. What has pushed you here to seek the magic of Nozomi? What have you persevered through?"

Kouga kneeled beside her, staring at the koi she was talking about, he put his hands to his knees and sat up right, "I have lost the only woman I've held dear. I… failed her."

Nozomi looked over at the wolf. His eyes carried much pain, "I am sorry to hear that."

Kouga sighed, "I've lost many in my lifetime. A number of my tribe to that evil bastard Naraku. But after losing Kagome, I've lost a part of myself."

The yellow eyed woman clasped her hands neatly in her lap. She mulled over his words, taking special interest at the mention of the evil half demon Naraku that terrorized much of Japan years ago.

"You may not be seeking power, but what you desire is still selfish." She said.

Kouga glared at the woman, "Maybe it is. Who are you to judge?"

"You are not the first to make this request. Nozomi refuses to help the selfish any longer," she began. "Nothing in this world goes without a price. And bringing back the dead is no easy task. What are you willing to exchange for your precious Kagome?"

"Anything." He said earnestly and turned towards the mysterious woman fully.

"Hmm… You just wish for the end of your suffering. To have your beloved present to take away your pain" she stated, but was caught off guard by his cold laughter.

"Kagome caused me as much pain in life as she did in death. Don't talk as if you know my situation, witch," he said fiercely.

"What are you saying, wolf?" she asked with sudden intrigue.

Kouga looked at her with determination, "Kagome never loved me. She loved another. A stupid half breed… Despite that, I would give anything just to see her alive. If that's what you call selfish, so be it."

It took a moment for Nozomi to speak again, "You are most interesting demon… Would you give your life for hers?" she asked with a glint in her eye.

"Yes." Kouga said with no hesitation, "I've put my life on the line for hers more than once."

"And she never returned your feelings? How noble of you," she purred.

Kouga felt a nagging feeling in his gut that told him to run, but instead he remained and kneeled- facing the woman that might be his last hope.

"It's what happens when you meet someone else first," he said echoing Ginta's words from days prior.

"This Nozomi is not a god. The magic here cannot bring loved ones back from the dead," she began.

Visibly frustrated, Kouga started to yell, "They said any wish can be granted here-"

She raised her finger and his mouth was shut by an invisible power, "They say many things outside this temple… But Nozomi cannot bring back a life that was taken by creatures of the netherworld long ago. Nor can the power of the Nozomi make another fall in love."

Kouga stiffened, feeling defeated. His head dropped to his chest and his claws dug into the flesh of his knees.

Kagome was lost to him forever. He would never get peace.

Nozomi watched his reaction carefully before she said the next thing, "Time however, can be easily bent," she said while the wolf prince looked at her with a confused expression.

She smiled coyly, "Oh, time is this one's specialty."

"Many years ago, this Nozomi created a well for a village far, far away that acted as a disposal for demon bones. Those bones went from this this world to the next."

She lowered her finger and suddenly the pressure around Kouga's mouth went away, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Her mouth cracked into a grin exposing razor sharp fangs he hadn't noticed earlier, "It is what happens when you meet someone else first." She repeated vaguely.

Kouga's eyebrows knitted together, "You're not saying-"

"Refine your desire, wolf." She said leaning in close.

Understanding dawned on him, 'She can't bring back the dead or force love. But bending time… Ginta you better be right about this!'

Kouga sat up straight again, "And what do you want in return?"

The yellow eyed woman reached into the inside of her haori eagerly, "Nothing you haven't already said you wouldn't exchange in return."

After a moment of silence Kouga looked, "I wish… Kagome had met me first instead of Inuyasha."

"In my thousand years, I've never seen such a thing. You're in my debt, wolf," she said ominously.

The next thing Kouga knew, with lightning fast speed a dagger pierced through his armor and into his heart. He looked at Nozomi for her betrayal while he slowly fell back, 'So this is how it ends huh? I'm coming, Kagome.' Were his last thoughts before he fell back and hit the floor. His eyes closed while he heard whispers and chanting.

There was a very brief glow he saw through his closed eyelids, but quickly everything became dark and cold.