Chapter 18: With Love, Touga

Izayoi peeked around the corner; seeing no one she darted around it and down the corridor, slipping into a room at the far end of it and sliding the door shut before anyone could spot her.

Exhaling deeply, she moved into the Sakura room and sank onto one of the fluffy cushions and dropped her head into her hands. Three weeks! Three weeks since my betrothal was announced, and I've not had a peaceful moment since during daylight hours! The only time I can get away from all of it is when I retire to my rooms!

Her father had been right in his summation that their peaceful existence was over after the announcement had been made. Since that moment it had been nothing but harassment from one person or another.

She looked up and sighed, wiping a hand down her face. Okay, so some of that had been an exaggeration. But not much. She was usually to be found in Touga's company, as he insisted on spending as much time together as possible, and when she was with him people kept their mouths shut – they just stared, instead. Not a one would dare say anything to her when she was in his company for fear of what he would do to them.

After a moment of contemplating murder, she smiled softly as her mind went to the reason for all the uproar. He was so much more than she'd ever have believed, even to begin with, and she was falling under his spell more and more every day. He had been very circumspect so far, only kissing her a few times and nothing more, especially as she'd been keeping a fairly strict eye on her father after his collapse so soon after the announcement of her betrothal, but all that was doing was making her crave him even more and all she could hope was that the wedding would come soon.

With her memories of whom she was, or partly was, i.e. Kagome; had come a more open outlook towards the relations between males and females. That, combined with her maturity levels as an adult in this era allowed her to admit she wanted him, and she wasn't ashamed of it or embarrassed by it, either. Still, she didn't want to shock her father or brother by openly admitting such a thing - though the thought of shocking Touga was becoming a much more attractive idea as time went on. She giggled at the idea of doing so, and imagining the look on his face were she to do so was quite funny. But she remembered from something Inuyasha had said once to Miroku that youkai were much less uptight about sex than humans were, and it wasn't unheard of for a mating to be witnessed by others. Wolves, especially, had relations anywhere they pleased and that usually ended up with the entire tribe involved. The giggle turned to a full-throated laugh as she remembered Miroku's reaction to that bit of information – he'd openly opined that he wished he were ookami – or at least youkai. Sango had practically knocked him out for that comment.

Her eyes softened as she thought about Miroku and Sango. Over the last weeks she'd slowly remembered her companions on the search, though there were still large holes in her memory, and she hoped that this diversion in history that the jewel had sent her into would provide for much happier lives for them when their time came to be born. For if she destroyed the jewel before Naraku was created, then none of those things would happen to them. And that young Lord he stole his body from... Kagewaki, that was it. She'd always felt so sorry for him, too. It was simply another reason among thousands to finally get it right. Third times the charm, ne? she thought forlornly, desperately missing her friends in that moment as tears sprang to her eyes. She knew that she would never meet them this time, or at least not in the same manner and that thought hurt. But she wasn't selfish enough to wish that things would go back to the way they had been – her friends had all suffered much at Naraku's hands, and she would never wish them back into such a life if they had a chance for something better, miss them or not.

But still, in that moment as she looked around the room she was in she couldn't help the tears that suddenly cascaded down her cheeks as she thought of all those she had loved – including her mother and brother and grandfather. It hurts, she thought, a hand going to her heart as it skipped a beat with sadness. I miss them, but they will never remember me. Because I really don't exist anymore – well, at least that part of me doesn't – not anywhere but in my own mind. She shook her head, eyes not really seeing anything in the room with her anymore as she wandered through the memories of that other life she'd had – the one that only existed in her memories any longer. It was so confusing sometimes, and very hard to bear whenever she thought of it.

Anytime she thought about it, about herself as Kagome, she wanted to cry. And yet, despite her memories of her life as Kagome, she still had no memories of her time as Kikyou. Strange, that. But she didn't try to open herself to that life, because as far as she was concerned remembering her life as Kagome was bad enough. Two lives – Kikyou and Kagome – and because of this stupid Shikon no Tama, both had been cut short and destroyed. She could really only be grateful that she wasn't forced to remember her life as Kikyou, as well. That would just be too much, she was certain – if the kami had allowed those memories to surface, too, she was sure she'd have gone insane.

She was startled out of her morose and maddening thoughts by the feel of arms going around her from behind, and for just a moment she stiffened, but then she realized who it was and instead allowed herself to lean into the embrace.

"What is wrong, my hime?" Touga asked, his voice soft and caring. It made a sob catch in her throat. He'd been so attentive and caring since he'd officially began courting her. It warmed every part of her to think of it.

It took a moment, but she was finally able to answer. "I was... remembering. We haven't really talked about it too much, but I've mostly remembered my life as Kagome, though I still haven't figured out the connection between Myouga and Inuyasha. But I was thinking on my friends and loved ones, and it hurts to know that I will never be a part of their lives as I was before. They're truly lost to me, and all because I failed to figure out how to rid the world of that cursed jewel."

Touga tightened his arms around her as he sat down and pulled her into his lap, enjoying the sweep of color he could see from his view of her profile. I wish you had remembered the link between the two, as well, for I have not been able to understand it, either, and it worries me. But there isn't much I can do about it until you remember, so... "It is true that your life will never be the same as it was before. And I can understand how that would hurt. But for all that you have lost, you have also gained. For now you have new people to love, ne? Please, for me, stop crying? I cannot stand to see you so unhappy," he finished, and was pleased to see a small smile through the tears.

"Hai," she agreed softly, "I guess that's true, that I have more people to love. But it still hurts... I think that the only thing that will ease the pain is time. For me, it's almost like they've all just died. And in a way that's true. For they will never now exist as they did in the life I remember – though for most of them, that's a good thing. I can only hope that this time I figure out how to get rid of that blasted thing, and change the bad things that Naraku did to them in order to gain the jewel's power. Third times the charm, as they say," she said finally, echoing her thoughts of earlier.

Frowning, Touga thought over her behavior lately. He could see some differences in her since her personality as Kagome had begun melding with Izayoi. She was just a little freer with her speech - not as formal with those close to her, too. But they were minor changes, and hadn't changed how he felt for her at all. If anything, her more open passion for things near to her heart was even more of a draw to him.

"Third times... the charm?" he asked, somewhat mystified at her words. She'd also confused him several times with some of the things she'd said – which was to be expected, really, as they were vocalizations from a young woman who'd been born over seven hundred years in the future. This one he thought he understood, but wished her to qualify her statement just to be sure.

She giggled and turned her head to look at him, the tears drying on her cheeks. "Hai. It just means that the third time will hopefully bring the luck I am needing to gain the end I am seeking."

He nodded – his supposition on her meaning had basically been correct. "Ah. I see." He looked at her for a second, his eyes running over her, and then, taking her little face in one hand he turned it towards him as she adjusted her position in his lap to face him and began licking her tears away, gently cleaning her face of any hint of her sadness. He almost smiled as she sighed and leaned into him even more, relaxing into his touch completely trustingly.

Nuzzling into her cheek after he was done, he pulled back and looked at her. She had a soft little smile on her face with her eyes closed and lashes fluttering. Her cheeks were a pretty rose color, and he just couldn't help himself – he kissed her.

She didn't act virginal and frightened at all, and he'd noticed that her behavior towards him had changed just a little – she was a bit more forward in her responses to his advances. It made him wonder... He broke the kiss after a moment and pulled away slightly, his lips just brushing hers and asked, "Tell me, Izayoi... was Kagome a virgin when she... passed into you?" He didn't know how else to phrase it, and she understood what he was asking quite clearly.

Pulling away from him a little more, she looked almost insulted. "Yes...of course I was! What on earth made you ask such a thing?" she asked, looking like he'd better have a good answer – or else. He frowned – it was another Kagome moment, for her choice of phrase was again strange.

He smoothed his frown out and smiled at her, soothing her little display of temper with a gentle pass of his big hand over her cheek. "Don't be upset, Izayoi. I simply asked because your comfort level with such intimacies has changed – you act as though you have knowledge of the actions between males and females now, whereas before you did not."

At that, she blushed and her eyes dropped. "I do. You see, in Kagome's time, what passes between couples is spoken of openly, and even witnessed at times. Not only that-" she chuckled at his surprised look, knowing she was going to shock him even more, "-but in that time, all children are tutored extensively in places called school, and in that tutoring, at a certain age is a subject we must learn called Health. We learn about the bodies of males and females alike in it – including the-" here she blushed strongly and her eyes dropped, "-parts of both. I know what they look like, and I know what happens between men and women."

Touga was rightly shocked, but also interested. "Why do they teach such things?" he asked, not sure what to think about what she'd shared with him. "And how did you learn what the 'parts' look like?" he copied her phrasing, his eyes narrowing suspiciously as that thought occurred to him.

Bright pink, she cleared her throat and said, "They believe that it's better for males and females to know about the act, rather than leave them, especially the girls, unknowing as they are now and fearing something that is simply a normal procreative activity. Mind you, promiscuity is not looked well upon but to be a virgin until marriage in that time is no longer a necessity. Although I was still untouched, that was a personal choice. As well, in that time a person is not considered an adult until they are eighteen, and marriage is not something people think of until much later in life. As for how I saw each gender's 'parts'," she said, reddening even more, "there were pictures and diagrams in our books."

Books? Not adults until they were eighteen? Her former world seems so strange...

He blinked, slowly taking in and thinking over what she had said. "Are marriages still arranged in that time?" he asked curiously.

She shook her head. "No... oh, some people, those who still live in small villages and the like still sometimes do, but it isn't common and the couple cannot be forced against their will. There are no Lords in that time, anyway, so the need for heirs to a title in that sense is gone."

"You say that Lords no longer rule their lands?" he asked, rather unnerved. What kind of place is her world? Is she certain that perhaps she isn't only from the future, but another world entirely? For I certainly cannot imagine any Lord just giving up his lands and title – let alone all of them doing so.

Meeting his shocked gaze, she nodded. "Yes. In that time, blood doesn't matter – intelligence and money are what counts. Those who have money are the ones with the power, and the land is owned by the government unless one purchases a portion of it from them. Lineage has nothing to do with anything at all anymore, save for pride in a name with mentions throughout history," she replied.

After a moment of taking that all in, he shook his head. "I almost hope that your presence here changes that time a great deal, and what you remember does not come to pass. It is too strange. I do not think I would be too comfortable there in that time – or world."

At that, she stiffened, and looked away, not knowing how to tell him that youkai no longer existed in that far away future that she remembered, and suddenly, she could only hope the same thing he did – that her being brought back even further into the past would change that distant future, as well – because she couldn't imagine a world without him in it. Oh... I can only hope that if I don't figure out how to destroy the jewel, I die, because I couldn't live knowing he was gone.

"Why do you look away, Izayoi?" he asked suspiciously. "Do not hide from me, please. Just tell me."

"Touga... I... don't know how to say this, but... in that future that Kagome knew... youkai didn't exist," she said in a low tone that diminished into a whisper. "People in that time don't even believe that youkai ever existed – they're nothing but fairy tales and stories told to frighten children. I myself had no idea that they ever existed until I fell into the past and met Inuyasha."

Completely shocked, he stared at her, not knowing what to say. No youkai? So long gone that humans no longer even believed that they'd ever even existed? What had happened to erase them so thoroughly from history – and life? No... that place she is from must truly be a different world altogether. It is simply not possible that youkai die off and humans prevail. And in so short a time...

"I..." he trailed off hesitantly, and then continued, "I don't know how it's possible that youkai, who have existed since the beginning of time, could simply... disappear. Perhaps it is truly not just a different time, but a different world entirely? Are there any legends that tell of our fate?" he asked, trying to make sense of such news as she'd given him.

"Not really," she said slowly. "There are plenty of legends of youkai, but nothing that says why they just disappeared. As I said, no one even believes those old stories anymore, either. I had no idea I even had reiki until I fell into the past. Miko and monks still exist, but they don't have any power anymore, and those stories of reiki and houriki wielding monks and miko are also no longer believed. As to your idea that it is an entirely different world... I suppose that is possible. The well is powerful, and none still living know of its provenance or how it works. A parallel dimension... yes, that's possible. " Her physics lessons when she had lived in that world and answered to the name Kagome let her know that it was quite possible, in theory. "But I highly doubt it. The legends are too close to the reality of this time to be just legends."

It was silent for a while after she said that, Touga trying to take it all in and accept that what she was saying was that youkai would, somehow, within the next seven hundred years, completely disappear. While to humans that might seem a long time, to youkai that was a very short time span. Was there the possibility that her presence here as Izayoi would change the eventual fate of youkai? If she destroyed the jewel would youkai continue to exist, and the future Kagome knew fade away into her memories, remembered by no one else but she and the gods, just as Kagome herself?

He could only hope so, for he had no intention of dying off – or giving up his lands, either.

Pondering on her revelations for a few more minutes, he was sincerely unnerved; however, after a moment's reflection, he set it all aside as a topic that could be addressed at another time. After all, it wasn't like youkai were going to disappear tomorrow – her memories of the hanyou Inuyasha proved that, at the least, youkai still existed for several hundred more years. There was plenty of time to consider that information later.

He sighed and nuzzled her crown, inhaling her scent deeply to calm his blood. "I cannot deny that what you have told me concerns me, but it can be considered another time." In an attempt to change the subject, he asked, "So why were you in here alone?"

A frown creased his brow when she stiffened again, and he just knew he wasn't going to like her next words. "I came here for some peace. All the talk and the people harassing me constantly are getting on my nerves. Especially..." she trailed off for a moment, shifting in his lap, then looked up at him for a moment before looking away and continuing, "the rumor that Michitose has bedded with you. It is all over the shiro, and people are starting to laugh behind my back, thinking me foolish for being so naïve as to not notice your 'passionate relationship' with her. Especially as I already knocked out one female – some say I demur this time because it is true."

He could feel her upset at those rumors quite strongly and immediately his blood rose, a great snarl leaving his mouth as his temper heated and his eyes pink'd. Izayoi was surprised to see him lose his temper in such a manner, though from her memories of Inuyasha she knew that it meant that his temper was overriding his logical, calm side, and unleashing the true form of the youkai – his more temperamental, instinctual side. She wasn't afraid, however, because somehow she knew that he would never hurt her, no matter how angry he was. No, he was angry at someone else – and she had a good idea of who.

She was rather mystified, however, when he stood, taking her with him, and strode out of the room, tugging her along behind him. She couldn't figure out what he was going to do – what could one do about gossip?

Touga seemed to be determined that she find out, however, as he ignored everyone he passed and continued on in search of something, gently pulling her with him; even in his anger, though, he made sure that he didn't move so fast that she couldn't keep up.

He came across the insufferable female he was searching for out in the gardens and surrounded by a large group of her cronies and other court members. Perfect, he thought, his jaw tightening angrily. I will humiliate her in front of all of these people. When I am done, she will want nothing more than to hide in her rooms for the rest of her life for the shame of her lies being thrust into the light of day before so many of her contemporaries.

Coming to a halt at the edge of the mass of people all seated on the lawns under a grouping of different trees, he let go of Izayoi's hand and turned to face them. Before he could speak, however, someone else did.

"Ah, Touga-sama," Michitose said smoothly, smirking at Izayoi as she fluttered her lashes and her fan with equal facility. "Come to enjoy my company once more?" she asked archly, flicking her gaze over the group around her avidly listening to her and hoping for some more juicy gossip to pass around as they all knew what she was intimating with her words; they were all especially titillated because Izayoi was with the inuyoukai and would hear everything said. Most there wondered whether she would even understand what they expected to be a conversation mostly conducted in innuendo.

Touga was more than willing to give them what they wanted, though it wasn't at the expense of the person they thought it would be.

"Hardly, madam," he said, his voice frigid. "I already told you the day you invited me into your bed that I would never touch one who smelled of so many other males. And I also told you that youkai that were betrothed or looking to become so did not turn from their chosen partners to bed any other, as I hear you have been telling people falsely that I have." He grinned savagely as her face turned an unbecoming fuchsia color and her breathing stuttered, stunned speechless at his audacity in confronting her publicly in such a humiliating manner. "And here you are, and I can clearly smell three males on you. In one day... if I were, indeed, looking for a female to bed, I would most definitely not take one who was so promiscuous as to bed three males in one day – and all before dinner, no less. I must really talk to Hiraku – it is in such bad taste to allow the whores to mingle so freely with the members of the court."

There were gasps, and choked laughter and horrified stammers from the members of the court and the women surrounding them while Michitose herself looked as though she were about to faint, anger, hatred, humiliation, and most importantly, fear swirling in her eyes as she stared at him, unable to look away from the danger in his.

"One more thing, woman. Never let me hear another false rumor from your mouth that I had anything to do with you. One would have to be a total fool and blind to boot to prefer you to my hime. I am neither," he said, his words a clear warning that to push her luck with any further lies was to court a danger she had no way to defend herself against. With that he turned, completely ignoring the cries of the few people in the group still capable of speech through their shock that Michitose had fainted, and headed in a different direction.

He needed some alone time with his female, because his temper was about to have him slipping his human skin and instead sprouting the fur and sheer size of his true form. And that wasn't a wise idea within the confines of the palace – he would completely wreck it if he were to do so, not to mention possibly harm his female. Reaching the wall around the palace he pulled her into his arms and formed his cloud under their feet, hurrying across the sky towards an empty place where he could calm himself down slowly.

Izayoi was completely speechless. Nothing in her life had prepared her for what had just happened. And while she couldn't deny that the look of horrified humiliation on Michitose's part had soothed her own agitation over the gossip she'd been spreading, she was still having a hard time accepting that it really had happened. She'd never in a million years expected Touga to react as he had when she'd told him of the rumor going around, and the pitying looks she'd been receiving because of it. For certain, this was a day that the people here would not soon forget – the gossip from this one day would be passed around for years. She actually wouldn't be surprised to find that Michitose had retired from the women's court even though it was not an officially recognized court, being as it was simply the females of rank in the palace getting together to talk and gossip rather than anything important. Still, it was more than likely that Michitose would disappear, going back to her own small estate left to her when her husband died with no male family still living to inherit.

No great loss, true, but still, Izayoi couldn't help but feel a teeny, tiny bit sorry for the woman. She shouldn't have done what she did, true, because in the end she was impugning Touga's honor, and had she been a male, she would have been challenged to combat for her words. His reaction had certainly been quite harsh, however, and she suddenly hoped that she never angered him that much herself.

She had been so stunned over what had happened that she hadn't even noticed their flight. Touga had to chuckle to himself as he landed and let her step away from his hold a little, watching as she took in their surroundings. He'd brought them to the beach, and Izayoi looked around at the surrounding area – it was empty of people, of any sign of life save for a few birds... almost immediately her stress level began to drop and she smiled up at the daiyoukai, enchanted.

"I haven't been to the beach in a long time," she said, even her voice smiling. "But why are we here?"

Touga shrugged, his human form feeling tight and constricting. He needed to change and relax for a time in his true form. He only hoped that Izayoi didn't shy away from his true form, letting it make her second guess her agreement to their betrothal – it would kill him if she did. But there was only one way to find out, and standing around staring at the water wasn't it.

"The stress has made my blood rise, little one. I need to let myself relax in my true form for a time – does this bother you?" he asked, holding her gaze, his own shadowed slightly by concern.

Her eyes widened. "Truly?!" she asked, excited. "You would show me your true form?"

He nodded, a little reassured by her seeming excitement. "You do not mind seeing my true form?" he asked, just to be sure.

At that, she pulled away from him entirely, an insulted look crossing her face. "Why would you ask me something so ridiculous?" she asked. "I know what you are. I have accepted it, and it does not bother me. What kind of future can we have together if you do not trust me?" she finished, the insulted expression turning to hurt, instead.

Her reprimand caught his attention and he sighed, knowing that she was right. The knowledge of his lack caused his need to change to run even higher. "You are right, my dear. I won't question your trust again and I'm sorry I did even the once." Motioning her to back up, he allowed his aggravated youki to flare up and out, forming a corona of light around him that became so bright he could no longer be seen. As he disappeared into the light, he streaked up and into the sky... and when he finally alighted on the ground once more; he was in a form so entirely different and vast that Izayoi was struck dumb.

Shining silver in the sun in a way that made her eyes hurt, she put a hand up to shade them a bit, and stared at him, enchanted. Crimson eyes staring down on her from so high above should have frightened her, but they didn't - instead they drew her as he lay down in the sand and whined at her; lowering his head to lay it across his paws, he looked at her longingly and whined again, clearly pleading with her.

Understanding him surprisingly quickly she walked slowly up to him, holding his red gaze with no fear and no little amount of awe as she approached. She came to a stop in front of his massive head, her own head tilted as she took him in; then she smiled, clearly happy that he was showing himself to her in this manner and charmed by him.

Pleased at the expression on her face, he gently nudged her with his huge nose and she grinned, plunging her hands into soft silver silk as she stroked his huge paw that lay next to her with a happy squeak. "Your fur is so soft," she murmured, laying her face into it and inhaling. Even in his true form he smelled nothing like any dog she'd ever known, instead smelling of trees and cool streams and nature. With a great big sigh, she felt all the tension in her entire body just drift away as she leaned into him, her body going limp enough to nearly slide to the ground.

Seeing this, Touga nudged her again and she sighed once more, allowing him to push her into his chest where she lay back and practically fell asleep as soon as she'd landed where he wanted her. Contented as he'd never been before, not even when Sesshoumaru was still a trusting pup and slept with his sire in just such a manner, Touga growled softly and lay his great head next to her; with his huge paw on the other side of her, she was completely invisible to anyone who might stumble on them. Sending his senses out and finding that it was safe, he exhaled deeply and allowed himself to follow his little female into sleep.

How long they slept there he would never know, but it was at least a candlemark, and carefully lifting his great head once he woke, Touga glanced at the sky and then yawned. It was time to head back – dinner would be soon, and he didn't want his little female to miss her meal – there wasn't much of her to begin with, she certainly didn't need to lose any of what she had. He smiled inwardly when he looked down at her – she was curled up and clenching handfuls of his fur with a happy little smile on her face. It looked as though she was perfectly at home with him in his true form, and that caused a pleased rumble to bubble up from deep in his chest.

After a moment of just enjoying the sight, charmed by her smile, he nudged her with his nose lightly and let loose a low, almost purring growl. It worked, waking her fairly quickly, though it didn't exactly make her want to move.

"Mmm, Touga," she said, yawning, "don't make me move. I like it right where I am."

Nudging her a little harder, she finally surfaced fully from his fur and glared at him, though she stood up and moved, understanding his growled demands pretty well for being human.

"I'm moving, I'm moving!" she huffed, still glaring at him, though there was no real anger in her scent. Once she was far enough away, he pulled in his now calm youki and wrapped himself in it, and when he settled before her again he was once more in his human form.

"Now, my little love, do not be so angry with me. It is time for dinner, and if we are gone much longer your father will panic and start sending out search parties." He chuckled at the grouchy expression she shot him. "There will be many more times we will be able to nap in this manner over the years of our lives, Izayoi. Come," he held out his arm, and she wrapped herself around him as he lifted them into the air again.

This time, though, she wasn't busy thinking about what had transpired earlier and so she was able to take in the fact that she was flying. Knowing that he had a hold on her, his pelt wrapped firmly around her, she watched avidly, eyes everywhere as she took in what it was like to look at the earth from above it. Of course, in her memories of Kagome she knew that man had learned to fly, but it wasn't the same as this by any means and this was something she would never forget.

Touga was completely taken with her expression of sheer joy, the way her eyes couldn't stop moving as she looked at everything from a new perspective. It made him happy to be able to do something to bring such a beautiful smile to her face, and wipe it clear of the shadow of fear and worry that had ridden her for so many weeks – since he'd met her, really.

"It's so beautiful up here," she said, looking at him with shining eyes. "It's a good thing I cannot fly on my own, or I daresay my family would never see me, for I would not want to come down again."

He chuckled at her, delighted and quite happy with the way the day had gone. Yes, that strumpet and her stories had upset Izayoi, thus upsetting him, but what happened afterward most definitely made up for it. She was not upset or disgusted by his true form, the thought of leaving him obviously not crossing her mind, he'd been able to sleep curled up with her for the first time and he knew already that until they were married and he was able to sleep with her all the time, he wouldn't be getting much sleep at all. It had been more than he'd ever expected, the feeling of peace and complete happiness and contentment that had simply flooded his body, and he knew that from that day on, he would always yearn for her when she wasn't present.

They landed back in the shiro in the same place they'd left it, and thankfully, the area was clear of others. She looked up at him when they landed with a smile, and he gently tugged a lock of hair back into place that had become dislodged during their nap and subsequent flight. Finding himself lost in her gaze, his smile slowly faded away to something older, more primal, instead. With a groan of deepest desire, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply, Izayoi not even needing to think as she opened to him, freely giving him access to anything he chose to take.

Touga knew quite well just what he wanted to take; unfortunately, now wasn't the time, and so he just kissed her very deeply, giving her a taste of what was to come and then pulled back slowly, greatly enjoying the heavy-lidded look she was currently sending him. He sighed and shook himself back to reality.

"Much as I regret it, now is not the time to take this any further. It is time for the evening meal, my love," he said, the regret clear on his face for Izayoi to see. She blushed becomingly at the desire etched into his face, and nodded.

"H-hai," she said, her voice making Touga shiver at its husky tone; she noticed and blushed a bit deeper, clearing her throat as he turned to head inside and she followed closely behind. I wonder when it will be time, though, she sighed, not realizing she'd spoken aloud until the daiyoukai froze in his stride and turned his head to look at her, his eyes pink'd once more, though this time not by temper.

"When you agree to wed me, Izayoi. Then it will be time for that, and far more. I told you I would wait, and I will, though you make it more and more difficult every day."

She didn't know how to respond to that, so he turned back and continued leading her into the dining room; he was not surprised to find that they were the last to take their places, nor that Hiraku was looking at them both with a twinkle in his eye.

Touga was not unaware of the absolute explosion of gossip that started the moment they entered the dining room, nor that he was unable to find Michitose anywhere within its confines. He smirked to himself – the insufferable female had deserved her fate. As if he would turn from a woman of beauty, talent, generosity of spirit, intelligence, refinement and a gentle heart to bed a common whore. She was lucky that humiliation was all she'd suffered at his hand.

As they sat Hiraku took his first bite and then the meal began, though the talk did not stop for all of that. It was loud enough that those at the main table could hear it quite clearly, and the Lord of the manor shifted on his cushion, quite amused at it all.

"So, Touga, I hear that you had a run-in with one of our rather less than savory family members today," he said between bites, smiling a little at the look on the inuyoukai's face – and his daughter's. He'd heard the whole thing from Sakura, and had definitely had a hard time not laughing in a manner completely unbefitting the Lord of Setsuna. The little trollop had deserved every word, too, and he was pleased that the woman would be forced by shame to leave his palace and retire permanently to her own home. With her behavior, and the way Touga had publicly called her out on it, it was highly unlikely that she would ever find a man to wed her again – at least, not one of any property and good name, himself. Petty it might be, but she was the one of his cousins he'd most disliked growing up, and as far as he was concerned, she'd gotten her just deserts for her lies – lies that had upset his daughter.

Kohaku wasn't held back by his dignity – he wasn't Lord and was glad of it. He laughed aloud, quite enjoying the tale Sakura had told. "Hmph. Not as though the wench didn't deserve it, and we all know it," he said between guffaws. "And I could name a few more that are just as bad." His meaning was clear as he looked pointedly across at the table where Naoko and Masako were seated. "Perhaps we will get lucky, and they will be disposed of in a similar manner to that other ill-bred wench that even now prepares her belongings to leave the palace."

The noise level in the room had dropped significantly as Kohaku began speaking, and so everyone there was well able to hear what was being said. Both females suddenly decided that speaking wasn't a wise idea and finished the meal in circumspect silence.

Touga watched all of it with an amused eye; every court had such family members that they wished would disappear. After it got quiet, he spoke up. "Yes. I think – or, at least, I hope – that I have made my point that I am not interested in importunate females seeking me out. I have interest in only one, and we all should know by now who that is."

Izayoi blushed at Touga's words, her lips tilting just that little bit in pleasure at his clearly stated possessive interest in her, and only her.

Her father caught it, of course.

"I see that Touga's declaration pleases you, Izayoi, my love," he said, smiling.

She nodded, but did not speak.

"Hm." Her sire eyed her and then changed the subject, looking at his son and heir and his quiet but much happier wife. "So, tell me, Ichirou – were Izayoi's words to you in regards to your marriage worth their weight?" he asked, taking note of Airi's sudden stillness and her blank face with interest.

Ichirou smiled at that, glancing at his sister fondly. "Of course, father – when is she ever wrong? Not that she is perfect, but nearly, I say," he grinned as she shot him a narrow-eyed warning look. "And I'm sure Touga agrees with me, ne?" he asked the also grinning inuyoukai.

"Actually, no," he began, his own grin growing as she looked up at him, a surprised, hurt look on her face, "because I do see her as perfect." As he finished speaking, she blushed and looked down at her small platter, a pleased but slightly embarrassed light replacing the hurt. She knew he knew that she wasn't perfect; just as he knew she understood that he was in truth meaning she was perfect, for him.

The table fell silent for a moment in surprise when a voice that had never been heard during the banter at mealtimes spoke up.

"If I may ask, what did Izayoi-sama," she hesitated just for a split second on the 'sama', "have to say about our marriage?" she asked her husband, looking up at him with uncertainty.

Ichirou, aware that there was still some discomfort between the two women, said, "She was the one that gave me the advice to court you. She said that it was not fair that due to certain circumstances you had been denied one. As a man, it was not something that had occurred to me," he admitted, meeting his little wife's eyes. "But once she had spoken of it I realized that it was a good idea, and practical, as well as giving you something to remember fondly. And it has helped, has it not? We have come to know each other much better."

Very surprised, and not sure what to say, she glanced shyly over at the young woman, then back up at her husband and nodded. "Yes," she said quietly, "I suppose that it has." Taking a deep breath, she looked over at Izayoi once more and said, "Thank you, Izayoi-sama, for giving your brother such advice. I am grateful for the courtship he has given me these last weeks. It has, indeed, allowed me to know him much better."

Izayoi nodded. "You're welcome. It is good advice for any male, truly. As I told them, you only get back from your marriage what you put into it."

Airi nodded in return, and then fell silent, going back to her meal, as did Izayoi.

"Where did you and Izayoi disappear to after the... confrontation with Michitose?" Hiraku asked Touga as the women went quiet. Touga glanced at him, and could tell he wasn't concerned, simply curious.

"I was greatly angered at the upset that woman's words had caused Izayoi, and it caused my blood to become restless and surge in strength. Normally, when such a thing happens a youkai takes his or her true form, as that allows the blood and youki to settle and calm once more. However, I needed to get away from here to do so – I would not have my form destroy your home. So I took Izayoi and flew towards the coast to a place that was open and where I could slip my human form with no damage to anything around me," he finished.

"Truly?" Hiraku asked. "Are you really so large as to damage a palace were you to change?"

His gaze was drawn to Izayoi as she nodded rapidly, her eyes wide. "Yes, father, he is! It would seem as though he were as large as a mountain. I couldn't believe my eyes when he turned. In his true form he could easily step on this entire palace with one paw and destroy it."

Hiraku blinked, obviously trying, unsuccessfully, to imagine such a thing. Then he frowned. "Are all youkai so large?" he asked, clearly wondering about something. It could not be so – if it were, humans would have been killed off long ago.

Touga shook his head. "No. Size is equated with age and power. Most youkai, when in true form, are perhaps the size of two horses stacked one atop the other. But daiyoukai such as I are much larger. Currently, the only youkai that is as large as I am is Ryukotsussei. Even my son and heir, as powerful as he is, is only a quarter of my size yet."

"How old is he?" Izayoi asked suddenly, something seeming to occur to her. "Your son, I mean?"

Frowning just a bit, Touga looked down at Izayoi, concerned with the sudden discomfort he could make out in her voice. "Sesshoumaru is, in human years, about your age, fifteen or so. In true years, that would put him just over two hundred years. Why? Does something bother you?"

She hesitated, then said in a low tone only meant for him, "I would rather not speak of this in the presence of others – t'would only spark more gossip, my Lord," she said, not looking at him.

For a moment he almost became agitated, his blood pulsing at her tone of voice. But then he set aside his worry. Whatever was wrong, he would find out and take care of it, assuaging whatever concern she had. He would not give her up, and wouldn't allow her to back out of her promise – not now. It was far too late for her – he was much too deep in love with her now to ever let her go.

His eyes widened a little as that last thought crossed his mind. It was the first time he'd actually allowed what his heart had known for some few days now into his mind – and his eyes softened as he looked down at her, not inclined to argue with himself at all. It was true – he did love her, more than anything in the world save for his son, and he knew that love would only continue to grow as they made a life together.

I will tell her. She deserves to know how I feel. I can only hope that her feelings have grown as deep for me, though if what the jewel told her was true, then they have – or will come to.

He lost himself in thought as the meal and conversation continued on around him, and as soon as he and Izayoi had finished their food, he eyed Hiraku, who nodded, seeming to understand what he needed. Standing, he nudged Izayoi and offered his hand to assist her to stand, then headed out the door, wishing to take her somewhere special to tell her what he needed to.

"Would you like to return to the beach, Izayoi?" he asked quietly. "I believe it would be a beautiful night for it – it is calm and there are no storms approaching.

She was a little surprised at his question, but nodded eagerly – she would love to walk in the sand and dip her toes in the little wavelets as they washed up on shore. It was something she had missed since her long ago childhood – after their mother had died they hadn't gone back to the beach again. And as Kagome, the last time she'd been to the beach was when the Inutachi had gone to get the shield breaking ability from the bat youkai – and instead, ended up saving a little bat hanyou and her mother, gaining the ability to break shields for Tessaiga in gratitude from the tiny hanyou.

Leading her outside once again he pulled her to him; this time, unlike last, he enfolded them into his orb of light...

And Izayoi, stunned, felt herself become energy. As Kagome, she understood what was happening quite well. Touga had the ability to turn his body, made up of mass, into light, or energy, instead, which moved much, much faster than anything else in creation. But he had a control that light itself didn't, as he could actually control his speed, moving faster or slower at will.

But to feel herself become nothing more than light energy was strange and, in a way, frightening, and she wondered how he was able to reconstitute himself and whoever else was with him. It was definitely something human scientists in Kagome's birth era would have loved to study – Touga, and youkai like him would have been nothing more than guinea pigs to the governments of the world in her time.

She was glad that would not happen.

Surrounded by Touga's essence, she felt warm and safe and happy, and she could literally feel his soul hugging her and surrounding her, keeping her safe. It was strange... but it was definitely a mode of travel she would enjoy trying again sometime.

As they landed and became solid again Touga slowly let go of her, watching her carefully to make sure she was steady on her feet and not dizzy. When it was clear that she was fine, he let go completely and watched with a small smile as she smiled at the water with pleasure in her eyes. After a moment, she slipped her shoes and tabi off, then skipped forward towards it as it ran up onto the beach with tiny wavelets that swelled up over her toes and she giggled and twirled like a little girl. He watched her pensively, enjoying her absolute joy over such a small thing.

Most women wanted jewels, beautiful clothes, servants to wait on them hand and foot and a large, richly appointed home to boast about. Izayoi... just wanted to be happy.

It was something that he hoped he could give her.

Sitting down after taking his armor off, he waited in the sand for her to finish playing in the water and come sit next to him as he knew she would. They had a few things to discuss, and he thought this place was the perfect place to tell her – the cool breeze coming in off the ocean and the bright waxing moon rising slowly from the horizon. It was dark, though not too dark to see, peaceful and quiet – there was no one else around in this little cove that he and Hiraku and a squadron of soldiers had so recently cleared of pirates.

After a little while Izayoi came and sat down next to him, pulling her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. She looked around and smiled a little wistfully at the ghosts of brighter years and happier days that danced and floated through the cove in eyes that grew opaque with the memories. "This place hasn't changed much since I was last here with my family as a child. Of course," she laughed at herself a little sadly, "it wouldn't have. The land ages so much slower than we humans – or even youkai," she said, glancing at Touga sideways.

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked after several seconds of silence fraught with some emotion she couldn't quite get her mind around that began to make her feel awkward. "I mean, here, of all places?"

He was silent for a while; she'd almost forgotten she'd asked him a question by the time he answered, just leaning back and enjoying the slight breeze and the moonlight shining on the water.

"I wanted to bring you somewhere special, somewhere you might recognize. But as a sheltered hime, I knew that those places outside the palace walls would probably be few and far between. Then I remembered you telling your father that this place would most likely be where the pirates were hiding that day out in the garden, and that you mentioned that you had come here as a child with family."

"Oh," she smiled shyly, looking down and curling her toes into the sand, enjoying the feel of it.

"Izayoi," Touga began after a moment's silence, "what... what was it that bothered you about mention of my son earlier at dinner?" he asked, turning to look down on her. Despite the darkness of the night, he could see her face clearly, and he watched her normally animated features become frozen with a bit of apprehension.

Her heart beating a little bit faster than normal, she stared rigidly down at the sand as she tried to sort her thoughts. She sighed. "It just seems awkward – that I'm basically the same age as your son. And it occurred to me... what about his mother?" She flushed with jealousy at that thought. "Will I have to deal with her, as well?"

Touga blinked, a little taken aback at the direction of her thoughts. "As for Sesshoumaru, my hana," he said after a moment to assimilate what she'd said, "you have nothing to worry about. Despite his technical age, he has a long way to go before he gains your wisdom or maturity. And Satori..." he trailed off, turning his face to look out over the sea, his eyes shadowed, "she is of no concern in this matter."

Taking note of his avoidance, her jealousy swelled and she scowled. "Do not lie to me, Touga," she said, beginning to get angry, her temper flaring at thought of being placed in what seemed to her a rather familiar position once again, "I can see how you avoid my eyes when you speak of her. I know that she was never your wife and that you had a simple contract with her to provide you an heir... but it seems as though there are feelings for her in your heart, since you can't even look me in the eye when you say her name." Izayoi turned away, too; wrapping her arms tighter around herself, she stood and walked away from him towards the water again, memories of her life as Kagome overwhelming her with pain.

Too well she remembered the constant hurt of knowing that Inuyasha could never look at her with clear eyes because they were always clouded by haunted memories of another. She would not put herself through something similar with Touga – especially as he'd told her that were they to marry, he would bind her to him and extend her life to match his. She couldn't even imagine a nearly endless lifetime of going through the same pain that Inuyasha had introduced her innocent heart to once before.

She just couldn't.

As all of these thoughts ran through her mind, tears cascaded down her cheeks though she made no sound, her heart weeping for all the pain she'd been subjected to before – and what she was being subjected to now. For the truth was that she was in love with Touga, and she couldn't hide that fact from herself any longer. And worse, she loved him in a much stronger way than she had Inuyasha, because she was much more mature now than she had been then though her age was the same, and her heart was as adult as she was.

This was an adult woman's love for an adult male. Not the first love of an innocent girl-child whose heart had just been stirred into wakefulness for the first time.

It knew who it wanted to cherish... but it looked as though there might be someone in the way, and that fact just about killed her.

She stiffened when his arms came around her, having to fight to keep still, because she was now almost afraid to let herself fall into him – afraid that if she did, she would look into his heart and find another woman's eyes staring back at her. She would never be able to withstand such a thing – it would surely break her, and then the kami would be disappointed for she would never be able to destroy the jewel with her heart so tainted with pain.

Touga was surprised when she said what she did, not understanding what she could possibly be thinking. He watched her walk away from him with a furrowed brow, beginning to get a little angry himself – until he smelled the salt of her tears. And then he stood and went to her, unable to bear the thought of her beautiful eyes drowning in tears over something he had done. He just wasn't sure what that was. Did she really think he had hidden feelings for Satori?

Not hardly. She was beautiful, yes. And powerful, no one could deny that. But she was in love with someone else – and frankly, not really his type.

He was the only one that knew of her true heart; when she had agreed to bear him an heir he had asked her why she, unlike every other female out there, did not attempt to get him to wed her. He had been surprised by her words.

She was in love with one of his generals, and he in was in love with her, as well. The problem was that when he was young, his parents had forced him to wed another – the daughter of a friend of his father's that had told her sire she wanted him. Spoiled beyond belief by her parents, they gave her anything she desired, and when she spoke of her desire for him the match was instantly arranged and agreed to, without anyone even asking him. The sad truth was that he couldn't stand her, and he'd been enraged to be forced by his father to do such a thing.

Since his father had given his word of honor, Masao went through with the wedding, gritting his teeth at the female's flaunting of her supposed conquest. But though he'd agreed to wed the spoiled bitch, he'd never agreed to bed her... or breed an heir on her.

And thus the female was left alone on her wedding night and every other after, and when confronted by his parents and hers when she went whining to them about his treatment of her, he calmly told them that though he'd agreed to wed her for honor's sake, he hadn't agreed to ever bed her. And he never would, he told both sets of shocked parents... parents who'd been gloating to their contemporaries of the children the pairing would produce. He'd let his own parents know in no uncertain terms that he despised them, bitterness growing in his heart towards them for ruining his life for their own desires.

He hadn't met Satori 'til many years later, and when he had, his hatred for his family and his wife's, and the wench herself, had grown to immense proportions and known no bounds. And so there they were, unable to be together unless his useless wife died.

A slight smile tugged at Touga's lips as he thought about the last time he'd seen Satori – she had seemed just a little too happy; he was almost certain she'd finally decided on a way to get rid of the wife in a way that Masao could not be blamed. He hoped, for her sake, that in whatever way she finally got her happiness. Masao, too – he was a good warrior, and a good male to have at your back. He hadn't deserved what his parents had done to him in any way.

All of that passed through his mind like lightening, and he sighed, tightening his arms around the tiny woman that had so quickly become his whole heart. Now more than ever he could sympathize with Masao – if his sire had attempted to do to him what Masao's father had done to him, he'd have said honor be damned and killed him. After all, it wasn't his word that would have been given and that would end up being broken. He could only be glad that his choice was exactly that – his choice.

"Izayoi... my dear, you have jumped to conclusions. And they are completely erroneous conclusions, too." He proceeded to tell her the story of Satori and Masao, and he could feel Izayoi's tense frame begin to loosen as he spoke. After finishing his tale, he turned her around in his arms and wiped her tears away for the second time that day, purring comfortingly to her all the while. "I would not have come to you with another woman in my heart – I am not so much a fool as to marry one when I love another. To do so would be to subject myself and you to a very long lifetime of misery." He met her drenched gaze and smiled softly, tenderly. "There has never been a woman to take up residence within the walls of my heart... until now."

Hearing what he'd said clearly enough, still her mind took a moment to take in the ramifications of his words, and when she did, her eyes widened and she looked up at him, stunned. "W-what?" she gasped softly, too shocked and yet hopeful to say more.

"Like the Minano, that starts its fall at the peak of Mount Tsukuba, my love has swollen on its course and now fills a deep, still channel,"* he quoted slowly, keeping his eyes glued to hers and willing her to believe him, for he knew she would know this poem and understand what he was saying to her. He watched her eyes widen even further as those words so familiar were quoted to her, so completely stunned she didn't know what to say at all. Eyes softening even further as he looked down at the dainty little female that had crept in and stolen his heart, he said, "I brought you out here tonight to tell you what I finally realized earlier this day. I love you, Izayoi, and I always will. No other woman holds my heart in her hands save you, and I will have no other, ever. It will always and only ever be you."

Too choked up for several moments to speak, Touga continued to purr consolingly as he held her, giving her time to work her way through the shock he'd apparently given her.

Staring into lambent golden eyes full of the love he claimed to feel, she thought back over the weeks he'd been a guest in the shiro. All of that time had been spent mostly in her company, and though it seemed maybe a little fast to her, she couldn't deny her own heart. She loved him, and she knew she did. And now he'd told her that he returned her feelings with a heart that was free and clear to be solely hers. Even though there was still quite some time left to the summer, she found herself wishing to wed him now, rather than later, because she knew that her heart would not change – she would never turn from him.

She didn't need to wait anymore... he loved her and she loved him, and that was all she needed to know. Blinking rapidly to keep from crying yet again, she pressed her face into his chest and gathered her thoughts. After regaining control, she looked back up and met his hopeful eyes and smiled, a smile touched by shyness and happiness and topped with love, and told him what was in her heart.

"I love you too, Touga, with all of my heart. I'm sorry for being jealous and saying what I did. I just... couldn't stand the thought of your heart being given to another when I wished it for myself. Forgive me?" she asked, tears breaking free of her control anyway at the look on his face as he heard her words. But as he leaned down to kiss her; she stopped him with a tiny finger to his lips. His confused expression was adorable, and she laughed a little watery laugh at him. "I wasn't finished," she said, smiling at him through her tears. "I wanted to know... is there any particular reason that we are to be wed at the end of the summer?"

Touga blinked, then shook his head, not really taking in why she would be asking such a thing. "No... that time frame was simply to allow you enough time to come to know me, to be comfortable with me - if you accepted the betrothal, of course. The choice of date is up to you, for I would wed you now if I could."

"Then why don't you?" she whispered achingly, not looking away, wanting to see his expression when he realized what she was saying.

She wasn't disappointed. It was like watching the sun rise in his golden eyes as they tinged with red; apparently his black blood, his instincts, the inu under the human skin was instantly excited at what her words were suggesting.

"Do you mean... Izayoi, are you saying that you are ready to be wed?" he growled out, his voice going deeper than normal.

Saying nothing, she simply nodded, and everything within him coalesced into an instant need so great that he literally pounced on her, kissing her senseless for several long moments; he pulled away after a few seconds, determined to go notify Hiraku immediately of his good fortune – until he realized that he would have to wait until tomorrow, as it was well past time for bed and her father had long since gone to his. He was disappointed – for all of ten seconds, and then the lovely, pouting, kiss-swollen lips before him beckoned irresistibly, and he once more gave in.

Just before he closed his lips over hers once more, he said... "I accept, my Izayoi, my love. I will speak to your father tomorrow, and a wedding you will have - and as soon as it can be arranged, at that."

And with that, speech was forgotten as he took her down to the sand and gave her the merest hint of what her wedding night would consist of.

She decided very quickly that she couldn't wait.

~oOo~

*part of the Ogura Hyakunin Isshu. One Hundred Poems by One Hundred Poets. This particular one was by retired Emperor Yozei, and was found in the 'Love' section of the collection.

I found that it was perfect to use here, and I hope everyone agrees!

Edited 10/05/13