The day of the highly anticipated College Teas has arrived and the tiny parlor at Rory's residential college is packed with her fellow students and their guests, everyone looking spic and span. A palpable tension fills the air as excited whispers punctuate the silence.
"All rise, for our distinguished guest!" a College Teas aide stationed by the doorway announces, immediately quieting the whispers and amplifying the tension to a fever pitch.
All eyes are on the doorway as the distinguished guest, big, huge, steps through, his bearing simply presidential.
A stunned silence falls over the crowd as the honored guest walks to the center of the parlor and takes a seat in a plush Ottoman, revealing himself to be, without a doubt, President George W. Bush, former Yale BMOC (big man on campus).
"Hi, I'm George W. Bush…how are you?" the president greets the flabbergasted crowd, sounding exactly like the George W. Bush internet soundboard.
His greeting elicits nothing but series of gasps from the shell-shocked audience.
"Eeehhhhhh, what happened?" Lorelei manages to spit out before being sssshhed by an embarrassed Rory.
For a few long seconds, seconds that feel like hours, all is quiet, the sheer gravity of the honorable Yale alumnus taking the wind out of everyone's sails.
"Why don't you abolish the Federal Reserve?" Marty, Rory's friend-zoned friend, shouts as the first question, his outrage finally overpowering his politeness.
"Well, because I'm a member and I don't have a majority for the vote, reminds me of Congress he he he," George Bush answers in turn, giggling at the end.
"S-STOP THE WAR NOW!" Rory yells next, stuttering, more a statement than a question. This is the man she and her schoolmates have spent many a class period bashing and now he's here! And he's a Yale man!
"Uhhh, okay, I'll get right on that!" President Bush replies, nodding at her.
"Where were you on 9/11?" Tana, Rory's former 16-year-old socially awkward supergenius roommate, demands next, her face molded into an expression of outrage.
"Well, I was with some kids, just like you," Bush responds, gesturing at her.
Tana's face contorts to a look of hurt, then her expression hardens, her mouth compressing into a thin line. With that simple sentence, Tana has just reached a turning point in her life. Like a blazing phoenix, something inside her has just burst forth from the ashes of her utter embarrassment, rising to meet a new and glorious future. For the first time in her young life, she feels mad enough to kill. What was significant this time was not that the words ran through her mind, but how she felt about them. Internally, she savored the entirely new sensation of feeling like she really could kill someone. If only she knew another 16-year-old Ivy League freshman once felt the same way.
"What were you THINKING?" another outraged student fires off at the President.
"Hmm, I was thinking rat, bat, cat, sat, this lesson is pretty tough!" George Bush truthfully replies, rubbing his chin at the memory.
"Why are you such a fascist? We don't live in a fascist nation, you know!" Paris, being a fascist in her own personal life, demands of the President, totally without sarcasm or irony.
"I'm not a fascist, I was elected, you see? You'll miss me someday," President Bush points out to her, not all together incorrectly.
The President looks down at his shirt sleeve, pretending to glance at a watch.
"Welp, I gotta go, par-tee time!" President Bush bids the Yalies farewell, muttering par-tee time like Sarge in the game Sarge's Heroes 2, before taking his leave.
Slowly, the still wholly bewildered audience of students and their guests begins to file out of the parlor, making their way outside as quietly as a funeral procession.
"I guess the lesson I'm supposed to learn here is that nowhere is perfect, not even Yale. Even a properly functioning clock can be wrong twice a day," Rory breaks the quiet yet again, speaking to Lorelei while still hanging her head in shame and incredulity.
"Well, not everyone is gonna be like you, kiddo. You're special. But perfect doesn't exist in our world, not anywhere, not at Yale, not even at Luke's….." Lorelei coos, attempting to console her and communicate the deeper meaning behind what just happened.
"Yeah….I guess," Rory concedes, saying it but not believing it.
