Jack sighed, just laying there.
"Well lunch isn't gonna cook itself." He said, smiling. Jamie chuckled a little at that.
"True, at least the little angel is down for the count so no likely interruptions." Jack nodded, eye twitching; it was obvious the dream had really messed him up. Jamie noticed, but didn't say anything; much as he wished that he could do something he knew there likely wasn't likely anything he could do or say to fix the fear from that nightmare. That he'd admitted just thinking about it likely had troubled Jack but he couldn't lie. He'd often daydreamed of such things when he'd still been a human and before he'd realized he actually loved Jack rather than just the idea of him... as was the case with many long distance relationships. He was still just a kid, really, when he'd met his end, but that hadn't been innocent... not completely. As a young teen he'd only begun to understand relationships and what he felt, it was only when he'd found himself walking the earth as a winter spirit, same as Jack, that he'd begun to fully understand a lot of things... not just what he felt for Jack and if he were honest with himself, he still had a lot to learn. Roxas started to cry and Jack instantly went to him, hugging, bouncing and shushing him; trying to soothe the child, a tear came to his eyes. Jack was crying because it was this exact position when Jamie had raped him in the dream; he cried more and Roxas cried more, but he tried soothing him best as he could. In the dream he was holding Roxas when he forcefully took Jack to the bedroom and repeatedly beat him until he'd submitted. Jack whimpered.
"No, it wasn't him... Jamie would never do that, it was a nightmare." He told himself. Unaware of the details. Jamie went over to the two, concern rippling across the bond from him as he approached the two.
"Jack? " He said gently, but he didn't touch him, sensing it might have to do with the nightmare. Jack sighed.
"It's ok Jamie, I know it's not you; it was just a nightmare."
"That doesn't make it any less scary though." He said softly and gently wrapped his arms around both Jack and Roxas, looking down at the sniffling boy. He pressed a gentle kiss first to Jack's cheek then Roxas' forehead.
"It's ok son. I would never hurt your father or let anyone hurt him or you. You two are my world." He smiled gently at his little boy. Jack sniffled himself, a few tears slipping past. Jamie gently squeezes Jack with the arm that's around him, an attempt at comfort. No doubt it would be a while before Jack got over this nightmare; it was a very real and logical fear for anyone to have... and considering their conflicts with Jakoul and Gale in the past he honestly didn't blame Jack for having the nightmare, let alone having it about him. Gale had done unspeakable acts when he'd been in control of Jamie's body... things that the boy couldn't undo, but Jack had never seemed to blame him for what happened though he'd tried to blame himself for Jakoul's... not that Jamie allowed that. Jack shuddered, his body shaking with pain and fear from the simple gentle squeeze; Roxas didn't like that, he started to cry again.
"Oh geeze." Jack hushed him and bounced him gently.
"It's ok, I'm fine; it's ok baby everything's ok." He hushed him and tried to lull the child to sleep. Jamie let go and went to the kitchen to get Roxas a bottle. Yeah... this was going to take a while. Jack sighed, leaning by the counter; trying to distract Roxas but he cried the more he sensed Jack's fear.
"N-no shh..." Jack trailed off, feeling tired and about to scream but he doesn't. Jamie walked back over with the bottle and gently took Roxas from Jack.
"You should rest some, if not sleep... though I doubt sleep will come soon or easy." He said in a quiet tone even as he shifted so that Roxas can eat.
"Come on son, time for your supper. I know you're worried about your father, but you need to eat; he'll be okay in a little while." Jamie wondered if maybe he should take a trip away from Jack for a while... but banished the thought. That wouldn't end well, Jack would likely only eventually come after him and that wouldn't solve anything. The best thing he could do was avoid at least most physical contact... for now. He could do that much. Jack flinched at the words 'sleep' and 'rest.' He shuddered.
"Nah, I'm fine Jamie; I'm totally fine." He said, putting on his mask yet again; that cold mask that had taken Jamie years to chip away from him... years to break and reveal who he was.
"You need the rest, if nothing else." Jamie stated flatly. He wasn't going to argue with Jack about this, let alone in front of Roxas as he drank his supper. Jack snorted.
"And who's gonna make me." He said challengingly, Roxas looked at Jamie with a 'can I help put him to sleep daddy?' expression. Jamie looked down at Roxas.
"Well... if you feel you must... go ahead." Jamie said to the boy without answering Jack's challenge, though it's obvious in his words that - in a way - he was answering. Jack looked at them both confused.
"Hey, why is Roxas-" Before he could say anything more he was knocked out instantly with Roxas' power. Jamie caught Jack with his free hand and barely kept him from simply dropping to the floor.
"Don't think he'll be happy about that when he wakes son, but little other choice I think." With the help of the wind, Jamie let Roxas float in the air while he put Jack in bed and only once Jack was in bed did he take Roxas back from the wind's gentle embrace. Jack whimpered in his sleep, the nightmare already starting.
"N-no l-let me go! NO PLEASE!" He suddenly arched in pain in the bed, obviously dreaming of that same thing again.
"P-PLEASE JAMIE LET ME GO!" His voice became more shrill but the nightmare ended when Roxas sent light through his body, Jack calmed, panting, but calm and slept better. Roxas whimpered.
"Dada why you hurt daddy?" He asked, having felt and seen some of the dream. Jamie sighed, looking at Roxas sadly.
"I haven't son. It's a dream, something that isn't real." Roxas looks towards Jack's now peaceful form in worry, as if he could see through the icy walls of the nursery.
"Help dada get ovwer fwear." He said, eyes hardening.
"Easier said than done lightning bug, but I will do my best." He giggled.
"Okway dada." He started to feel sleepy himself and fell asleep in Jamie's arms. Jamie smiled a little and settled Roxas in his crib for his nap before going to the room Jack is in. He settled in a nearby chair, despite wishing to lay close he didn't dare. Jack awoke with a cry minutes later; he panted, looking every which way until his eyes landed on Jamie. Only then did he jolt back.
"P-please don't." He whimpered, shaking like a leaf. Jamie sighed.
"I can't do that to you... but I can't leave you alone either. " He said softly.
"Why?" He asked after a moment.
"Why only now would you ever have such a nightmare about me? Why not before?" Even as he spoke it's obvious he didn't expect an actual answer. He rubbed at his eyes, he felt tired, but not the kind that meant he needed to sleep, the kind that kept a person up no matter how much he needed sleep. Jack shuddered.
"I d-dont know, I... I don't mean to have such a horrid dream it... it just happens."
"I wasn't expecting you to know." Jack winced.
"God my head." He slowly stood up, in pain, and instantly went to go make some tea. Jamie just sat where he's at, off in thought. Jack smiled happily having made himself chamomile tea and sighed, sitting down on the couch all wrapped up in a blanket with Roxas playing with his new toy he'd got him. It was a black kitty cat courtesy of Jack the pumpkin king, a leftover toy from one Halloween endeavor; it was safe, just a stuffed present. Roxas giggled.
"BUBBA!" Jack smiled.
"Nice name." Roxas giggled, clapping while Jamie - metaphorically - banged his head against the wall, trying to come up with some solution. Jack smiled, watching Roxas, but his smile turned into a frown, sensing Jamie's distress; he sighed and ignored the fear in himself, sending Jamie all his affection in a large mental hug. Jamie hesitated to return the embrace over the bond, when he did it wasn't as strong; mostly because he's concerned it would only make things worse if it's anything more. Jack groaned.
Jamie it's not your fault; like you said it wasn't you and you'd never do such a thing. Jack said through the bond, hugging tighter. Jamie didn't reply to that, no he hadn't and never would but that didn't change anything... hadn't stopped the nightmares and hadn't been reassuring. Jack sighed and made some more tea, he brought it to Jamie to drink. Jamie put his head in his hands, frustrated at the lack of coming up with anything really besides his initial ideas. Jack sighed.
"Hey, what's your problem." He said, handing over the tea cup. Jamie didn't respond to the question, but he did take a sip of the tea Jack handed him. Jack sniffed.
"Ignoring me doesn't help and trust me, I tried ignoring you when I believed things are my fault, never works does it?" He said sitting down, still wrapped up in the blanket and shuddering some. Jamie sighed before taking another sip.
"I'm not ignoring you." Jack shook his head.
"Well for one, thinking about the problem with me and trying to stop it is not helping anyone right now ok!" He said, snapping suddenly; he shook his head.
"Sorry, just stressed."
"You've got a right to be, honestly... I'm a little shaken by it. Whatever the reason... it's obviously meant to rile us in some way." Jack sighed, suddenly feeling sleepy; he whined, he didn't want to sleep, not ever again.
Roxas started to cry, Jack went back to him and instantly picked his baby up, rocking him and humming a song as he held tightly to the little cat toy 'Bubba.' Jamie sighed.
"It's bad for us all." Jack winced in pain.
"No, sleep... shh shh Roxas, I'm ok." Roxas cried himself to exhaustion. Jack sighed and lay in bed with Roxas yawning, but forcefully staying awake. He would never sleep, that was his plan; no sleep, no nightmares or dreams. It was a plan doomed to failure because as soon as Roxas woke from his nap he noticed what his father was doing and forced Jack to sleep, though that wasn't his best of ideas with Jack still holding him... Jack shuddered and nearly dropped Roxas.
"No, Roxas, stop that." He said drowsily as he yawned and suddenly snores erupted from him as he couldn't fight not sleeping any longer. Roxas shifted in Jack's loosened embrace.
" 'Nigh, 'nigh dada." He said and fell asleep sucking his thumb. Jack dreamed again, but they were normal happy dreams this time. Jamie went off to spread snow while the two sleep. Jack awoke some hours later with Roxas fussing.
"Oh, you hungry? Diaper change... you need a bath?" He sniffed, no diaper change needed.
"Food." Roxas sniffled until Jack got him a bottle, he eagerly ate his second lunch. Jack sighed, a little unhappy from the dreams; they were not like his usual happy kind, but it was happy... just not his happy. Jamie returned a bit before dark to make supper. Jack had Roxas already in bed when Jamie came home.
"Hey where have you been?"
"Ah, I got caught up playing with some kids while spreading snow." Jack nodded.
"M'kay." He yawned, still tired.
"I'm going to make supper, would you like anything?" Jack sighed.
"Grilled cheese." Jamie nodded and made a couple for the two of them.
"Did I miss anything while I was gone?" He shook his head.
"No." His voice low and depressed. Jamie gave Jack a concerned look at his tone as he handed him the sandwich.
"You okay?" Jack nodded his head numbly, not at all sure what to tell Jamie about how he was feeling; mostly exhausted but he felt empty and sad. Jamie didn't believe it but he didn't ask further either. Jack ate the sandwich slowly and depressingly.
"Why can't I make the pain go away?" He whispered loud enough for Jamie to hear without realizing it.
"Can anyone really? " Jamie muttered around a bite. Jack shivered in pain, whimpering and eating his sandwich with pained tears. Jamie sighed inwardly and once he's done with his sandwich he sat next to Jack and just encircled him in a loose, gentle embrace. Not doing anything more. Jack cried a little, wincing; crying and trying to calm himself but he can't.
"It's okay. Just let it out for a little while, maybe you'll feel better." Jamie murmured gently as he just held Jack, not moving closer or further away, not changing positions or anything. Staying perfectly still the way he was. Jack cried and wailed out his pain, he shook and held tight to Jamie; nuzzling into his neck now as he was exhausted again. Jamie just held Jack through it all, it hurt him to see Jack in pain... but that was life. No one could be happy all of the time. All he could do for his love was be here for him. Roxas started to grow fussy, making Jack wince.
"Jamie." He moaned, whimpering as he never wanted his baby to be upset; he shouldn't be upset but the pain was horrific. Jamie soothed Roxas over the bond as well as Jack.
"Shhh, it's okay Jack." He murmured gently. Jack cried, sniffling as he hugged Jamie tightly. Jamie gently rubbed his back soothingly. He gently hummed a soothing tune he'd once heard, it wasn't a lullaby exactly, but it was enough to calm Roxas and put him to sleep. Jamie hoped it would help soothe Jack as well. Jack shuddered, tears leaving and Jack just sniffed, feeling more sleepy, but also calmer than before and slowly his body went slack and relaxed in Jamie's grip. A small smile tugged at his lips as he just held Jack close. Jack's chest rose and fell as he slowly but surely fell asleep. Jamie tucked Jack in but didn't let go or stop humming until he is sure Jack was asleep too. He hoped it would encourage good dreams for them both.
"I love you more than life. " Jamie murmured softly. Jack sniffed and slowly his eyes fluttered shut as he breathed steadily; he hugged Jamie as close as possible to his chest. Jamie stayed with Jack as he was all through the night and into the morning to follow. Jack awoke tired, but he slipped from Jamie's grasp to take care of Roxas. Jamie eventually stirred to start breakfast after stretching out, he was a little sore from the odd sleeping position... but it was worth it. Jack giggled as Roxas started to suck on his thumb but he replaced it with a pacifier. Jamie left their breakfast of biscuits and gravy to cool on the table while he brought Roxas his breakfast. Jack smiled.
"Jamie, you didn't have to cook breakfast I would have done that."
"Yeah, but you were busy with the lightning bug." He replied with a smile, handing the bottle off to Roxas. Jack sighed.
"I suppose you're right."
"Besides, you cooked last time when I had him. Only fair." Jack nodded and sat down at the table with Roxas who suckled the bottle hungrily.
"Whoa, slow down Rox, you'll choke." Jamie chuckled a little.
"He's got a healthy appetite."
"You got that right." Jack patted Roxas' back after he finished his lunch. Roxas let out a tiny burp, but that's it. Jamie chuckled a bit.
"Mom always said I had one myself." He sighed a bit wistfully, wishing his mother were here to see her grandchild. Jack sighed, hugging Jamie.
"I bet she's watching over you Jamie, as is my own family." He nodded, returning the hug. He hoped he'd made up for the things he'd done and at the same time felt that he never would be able to. Jack sighed, suddenly there was a loud knock at the window; it was an old friend of his from way back he thought he'd never see ever again.
"CHRIS!" Jack threw open the window and the boy, about Jack's age with similar clothing to his and a staff with a dog's head on the top, tackled Jack in a hug; his hair was red like desert sand, freckles covered his face and nose a little.
"JACK! OMG IT'S BEEN FOREVER!" Jack laughed and playfully shoved him. Jamie was surprised and took Roxas from Jack seconds before the strange look-a-like tackled Jack. Who the heck was this?
