57. 57 picture books. That's how many picture books were in Harriet's room. Jackson had bought most of them. 16 stuffed animals. Harriet also had 12 different blankets, all from different colours. April didn't want to spoil Harriet, but right now she wished her baby girl owned more stuff, since she had finished counting everything after the first 45 minutes. April couldn't move much yet. So she was sitting in the rocking chair while Harriet sleeped. She could go to the living room to watch some tv, but if Harriet started crying, April would have to move again, and again, and she wasn't sure that'll be a good idea. So she just stayed in the rocking chair. At first she tried to distract herself on her phone, but that only helped about 10 minutes. And Jackson was at work. She had an appointment with Arizona the next day, she was going to ask her if it was already ok for her to move around more.

It's not like she wasn't grateful. She was now with Harriet. Harriet was healthy. And currently sleeping well. She thanked God every time she looked at Harriet. But yeah, she was bored. Couldn't lie to herself. She was currently staring at the wall, looking for cracks in the paint. She couldn't find any. She wanted to help around the house, but at most she could make coffee, anything else was still too tiring. Even cooking, it meant standing and moving for a long time, shopping groceries, she was just not able to do it yet. But as soon as she could she was going to, for sure. She was tired of take out. Jackson always bought delicious food, but she missed home made food.

She had tried to make more than just small talk in the morning, while they drank coffee, but Jackson hadn't been exactly chatty. Anything would have helped. A case, a surgery plan… what size was the new boob job going to be. But no, just good morning, how you slept, how is Harriet looking. Gorgeous, obviously, she was their precious baby girl. And to make matters worse, he had looked especially handsome that morning.

There had been a time when they couldn't take their hands off each other. They had discover every single hiding place in the hospital. Both when she got rehired for the second time and when they were just married. Even before the divorce, they hadn't been able to stop. Being only inches away from each other had been enough. His hand on her back, the way he kissed her, how he hold her against him. Stop it, April. The more she tried not to think about it, the more she did. How was she supposed to face him when he got home. He would see right through her. But there just wasn't anything to keep her mind busy. She had even tried to reconstruct every surgery she performed that year on her mind. It didn't do the trick. Things were already awkward in the house, now she wouldn't even be able to look him in the eyes.

Harriet woke up.

- Thank you, darling, mommy was going crazy. Time for you to eat.


Jackson was sitting in front of her. He was holding Harriet. She needed to be able to this. Jackson was the only adult she was talking to this days, and she was living with him. She had to be able to talk to him without him figuring out what was on her mind. Crap, he was staring at her. He knew.

- Hey, you got an appointment with Arizona tomorrow morning, right?

- Yup.

- I'll drive you there. And I'll take care of Harriet while you are there. And then I'll drive you back. I cleared my schedule for the morning so you wouldn't… So you had it easier.

- ¡Oh! That's… very considerate of you. Thank you.

Jackson smiled at her. No, don't do this. This was going to be so hard. This was already really hard. He had a beautiful smile, and such amazing eyes. April, please, stop doing this to yourself. You're not longer married. He doesn't want you that way. And yet he was right in front of her, with their baby in his arms, all under the same roof, like a happy, awkward, strange little perfect family.


Jackson helped April get to the car. At least today she wasn't going to stare at the wall all day long. And she would see other people. She had hoped to stay for a while after her appointment, but she wouldn't be able to do it since Jackson was driving her back. She was still going out. It was something. Also, by now April had realized everything about her relationship with Jackson flowed way better outside the house. It was almost as if they had gone back to being good friends. As long as they weren't completely alone.

- You'll be back on your feet soon, you'll see.

- I know, it's just taking a bit longer than I expected.

None of their friends had been too surprised when they announced April would temporarily move in with Jackson. Everything should be great, except it wasn't. It wasn't a long drive. Jackson took Harriet with him and April went to her appointment.

- You're still not going to be able to move as freely as you wish, but you should start to move more. Go outside, have a walk. Just moderate effort.

April left and started looking for Jackson. She could call him, but this way she could look around for a bit longer. She went to the pit, said hi to Owen. There was a woman there, covered in blood. There had been a car accident and her husband and her two boys were being treated. It was bad. But everyone was doing their best. She could see that. They would be fine. April knew she was in no condition to help, so she said a prayer and left. She knew where Jackson would be. She couldn't stop thinking about what she had just seen. The thought of losing Harriet or Jackson was enough to give her a lot of anxiety. She forgot what Arizona had told her and walked a bit faster. She stopped at the door. There they were. Jackson swaying Harriet. He looked at her.

- Everything ok? You ready?

- Yes. Take us home, please. - she said quietly.