Chapter 30: Sesshoumaru's Heart
"Sesshoumaru."
The Western Heir stiffened, his already taut posture going even more rigid as he took notice of his mother. Clamping down hard on his rising hackles, he returned her greeting with an icy one of his own, not moving his eyes from his perusal of the city below. "Mother." He wanted to rage as he sensed her amusement. How dare she laugh at him, mother or not?
After studying his stiff back for a long moment, Satori moved forward to join him at the ledge and looked out over the great city of Kangetsu. She watched as its citizens prepared for the formal declaration of war they all knew was coming for a few minutes, gathering her thoughts.
Her son beat her to it.
"How could you have submitted yourself to a lowly human female, mother?" he asked angrily, the icy tones of his voice heating as his anger began to override his normal cold front. "You, a female of such power and breeding, a youkai, and yet you honor this human vermin father has foisted on us?"
"Is it that you are blind, Sesshoumaru – or merely a fool?" she asked, a brow cocked at him with amused disdain. "Have you not already found that this particular female is anything but weak? Just as there are weak youkai, there are powerful humans, and Izayoi is one of them. Railing against her species and your father's choice will get you nowhere but into trouble." She smirked lightly at her angry son, then. "And besides, I like her. She's almost more youkai than most youkai I know."
"She is human! Her power does not outweigh her despicable blood!" he snarled, baring his fangs at his mother with temper.
He was not prepared for the backhand that came out of nowhere and snapped his head back; but he knew better than to press when his mother turned bleeding eyes his direction, her crests jagged. "Do not think to challenge me, whelp!" she growled, baring her own fangs at her son in warning. "I will not tolerate your stupidity, Sesshoumaru. Grow up. Izayoi is more than a match for you, and her species is of no concern. She exists because the kami wish her to. You are most definitely not a god, and so have no say in the beings that are allowed to exist. But it is attitudes like yours that foment hatred and segregation between the sentient beings that share this land. It is a prejudice a ruler cannot afford to have."
"Humans have little intelligence; they scrabble in the dirt and live fewer years than a rat youkai," he growled back, though he was careful not to challenge his mother this time. "Of what use are they?"
Becoming frustrated with her son, her eyes reddened a little more, making Sesshoumaru draw back a bit and subdue his aura in surprise.
"I refuse to believe that my progeny is so brainless. There has to be some other reason you hate Izayoi so much, Sesshoumaru – it cannot be just because she is human. She is as unlike any other human I've seen as you are, boy." Satori looked away from him, turning her eyes to the cityscape again. "So what is it? Why do you hate her so deeply?"
"You are mistaken, mother. I hate her because she stinks of humanity, and I have no use for a weak race that lives in filth. I refuse to bow to such a female," he declared icily, once more in control of his temper and refusing to admit, at least to her, that she was right. He did hate Izayoi more for other reasons than for her humanity. He hated her because she knew his weaknesses – and could stand on equal ground with him. No youkai save his parents should be able to do that – and certainly not a mere human wench.
He didn't miss his mother turning an incredulous stare on him and turned his head to meet her gaze.
"Touga was right... it isn't just humans that you hate – it's anyone that isn't you, or your father. You have no respect for anyone," she spat, dismayed and angry at this flaw in her beautiful pup. "You think yourself so great and powerful... and yet you aren't. You never will be, either, because you are too shortsighted and unable to see where true power lies." She shook her head, quite upset. "Unless you change drastically, boy, you will never rule the west, for your father will not hand over his lands to one who has no idea of how to rule justly. You will forfeit your birthright with your idiocy."
"Father would not dare to take away my inheritance," Sesshoumaru hissed, stepping away from his mother in furious temper. "He would not dare," he repeated as his youki flickered in agitation.
"If he does not, I will make sure he does not pass them to you, pup, make no mistake," Satori said coldly, shocking her son into total silence. "You are little more than a whining whelp that is unfit to rule anything!"
Goaded beyond his ability to endure his mother's words, Sesshoumaru's control snapped and he slipped into his true form in the blink of an eye, spitting poison at his mother as he took to the air.
Satori was only too glad to give the boy what he seemed to be spoiling for – a fight. She would teach him a sorely needed lesson on submitting to his alpha – and treating his contemporaries with respect and dignity. Leaping over the ledge, she also took on her true form, speeding after her son as he led her away from the palace and city. She waited just until they were far enough from the city to cause it no damage, and then with a swiftness her son was not yet capable of, she turned on him and attacked, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and throwing him into a cliff.
Snarling, she let him know that until he could defeat her in fair combat and learn that respect had to be not only earned, but reciprocal, she would not give him the respect he seemed to think everyone should just hand him because of who he was. As far as she was concerned, he hadn't earned the right to be treated respectfully, and she barked mockingly at him as he shook off the blow he'd suffered and attacked. She easily evaded and danced around him, allowing him to tire himself out continuously leaping at her. Finally, after several minutes and dozens of blows, Satori grew tired of his arrogance and overpowered him, clamping her jaws warningly around his throat, making him freeze and then submit.
Only after he'd submitted to her twice did she loosen her hold; still angry, she batted him over onto his back with one huge paw and then snarled at him to make her point. Transforming back into her humanoid form after several moments spent staring him down in her true form, she continued to glare down at him angrily. "If you think to cause your father's wife any injury or show her any disrespect, I will once more force your submission. Consider this your only warning, whelp. Either learn to respect others, or lose your inheritance."
With that, she turned her back on him and flew back to the palace, a certain frustration taking her over.
Who had convinced the boy that he was a god on earth? It was certainly not Touga, but she was going to find out who had so soured her pup and kill them for it. Whoever it was, they'd done a damn good job, for he certainly seemed to think he was – he showed nothing but contempt and disdain for everything and everyone but a select few. And she was almost positive he would lose respect even for those few quite, quite easily if left to his own devices.
He was not fit to rule as he was at this time, and if he didn't learn the lesson she was trying to teach him, that his father was trying to teach him, he never would be.
Satori was determined, however – no son of hers would ever be unfit for anything.
He would learn, one way or the other, even if she had to beat it into his thick skull one point at a time.
~oOo~
"You are most definitely not a god."
He snarled at his mother's words, knowing they were nothing but the truth. He was not a god. And he hated that fact. If he were a god he would not be ruled, plagued by his damnable emotions. One could not rule ones lands with emotion – one needed logic to be successful at such endeavors, just as his weapon's master had taught him.
Right?
His brow furrowed, then, as he took to the air, headed for a small outlook that he liked to retire to at times to be alone. But father... father rules his lands justly, and yet he does not hide behind a veneer of ice, eschewing emotion for logic. He uses both emotion and logic. It was a truth that he could not get away from.
But this is who I am... is it not? I am not hot tempered like my father. He was Sesshoumaru, and could be no less than what he was. He was not an openly emotional being. He was cooler by nature than his hot-blooded sire, taking after his mother more in that respect. Satori was simply a cooler-tempered being. It was true, though, that he'd cultivated that part of himself assiduously, making himself into an even colder version of his mother – and it had not been an easy endeavor. He had been doing it for so long, though, that he did not think he could change it even if he wanted to. I am not like most inu, since I prefer solitude to being around a lot of other youkai. And yet, if that were true, if he were truly a cold, unemotional being by nature... If I were naturally a cold-tempered being, why did I have to teach myself to be so? Would I not have always been that way?
Then again, now that he was thinking about it, he hadn't been that way when younger. No... once upon a time he had wanted to be a part of everything going on around him. He had been just as social as other inuyoukai were. When did I change?
But really, he knew when he'd changed. The memories still had the power to hurt, and he snarled faintly at them. That bird and his damnable words... damn father and mother for making me a target of others...
For making me a bastard.
And that was really the crux of the matter. Despite the fact that he knew that many other youkai had been born into the same circumstances, an heir being needed but neither prospective parent desiring to be wed to each other, for some reason, in his case it bothered him. He had only been born because his father had needed an heir – not because he had parents that loved each other, and not because his father had really wanted a child. He was a simple means to an end... And if he pups that female he wed, it will only be because he wants a child with her, not because he needs one. Once again, I will be pushed out – heir to father's lands, but otherwise not needed, not a part of their happy little family, he thought angrily, dismayed at the thought of his father siring other children – children he would want, just because he would want them. Children he would love... unlike his heir. Hanyou children.
Landing a little clumsily on the ground as his leg protested his weight, he allowed himself to slip into his true form and curled up, slowly licking his few shallow claw wounds to heal them. He growled softly – his mother was no one to mess with – if he hadn't been his father's heir, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have been in much worse shape, if not dead for his insolence towards her. The fact that he had attacked her first would have earned him a death sentence had he been anyone else, and he knew it.
Why could not his father have married his mother? They, together, were the most powerful beings in the land. And yet, his sire had merely bred his heir from her without benefit of marriage, simply fulfilling a duty to his lands to provide yet another being in a long line to protect them. He doesn't even trust me to do what I was born to do... he hides things from me and leaves me guessing, while telling others that are not even his blood all his secrets. He couldn't strangle the whine that slipped out, then, the sound a painful one that Sesshoumaru hated knowing had come from his own throat. Years I have spent trying to kill these damned emotions, these feelings, and yet still, still I am subjected to them! They are useless, doing nothing but bringing me down, and yet I, Sesshoumaru, still cannot defeat them. Something as small and pointless as feelings have defeated me... mother is right. I am not fit to rule the West when I cannot even rule my own emotions, my own nature, he thought bitterly.
Why would his father care for such a useless son? Why would he trust him, or have pride in him when there was nothing there to be proud of? I am failing my only purpose, which is to one day be fit to protect these lands. I am less than nothing in his eyes, that bird was right all those years ago. Another whine burst from the distraught young inu, and had Izayoi heard him she would have risked life and limb to try to comfort him, his sounds of upset and hurt breaking her heart and making her cry. Not that he knew that, of course, nor would he probably even accept comfort from such a source. No... the comfort he desired was from his great and terrible father, who he had always wanted to be, and yet he could not seem to measure up, no matter what he did.
No matter what I have tried to prove myself to him, I cannot seem to please him – yet, he defends those useless humans with such ferocity, allying himself with them and even wedding one. Why are they so much better than I am?
If father had married mother, maybe then they would have wanted me just for me... maybe they would have loved me...
And though he knew his mother loved another, he could not say he understood that, either. After all, while Masao was a strong youkai, he was not as powerful as Touga – was it not instinct to choose the strongest mate possible? Why then, had his parents disregarded their instincts and chosen others rather than each other?
An upwelling of hurt brought his attention yet again to the fact that it was just this very thing that had caused him to become so closed up and angry inside. For if they were speaking completely truthfully, he was, indeed, a bastard. He had been born outside of the bonds of marriage to two beings that had come together only out of necessity. Of course, such labels did not really apply in most youkai cultures – only those that lived closer to humans used such words. Yet, even knowing that did not ease his hurt. He wanted to be wanted for himself – and above all things he wanted his father's trust, respect, and yes, even love. He didn't feel like he had any of those things.
It was this that was at the root of his anger and disdain for most other beings... and it was – at least partially - this that was at the core of his virulent rage towards his father's human wife. The truth was, he would have hated anyone his father wed that was not his mother. Izayoi's humanity was really a secondary thing. He didn't really hate humans, per se – as far as he was concerned humans weren't worth the effort needed to hate them. In his mind, they were really of as little concern as a rat that scurried across ones path, and he would not normally bother with them unless they attacked him in some manner.
But Izayoi... at first, he'd simply hated her because his father had wed her. And then that hatred had deepened because she'd dared to speak up against him. She'd showed no fear of him while taking him to task for his behavior, and that had angered him even more. Even worse, she'd not only survived his attack on her, she'd been completely unphased and unharmed by it. But by far the most damning thing was her knowledge of his innermost feelings – things he didn't even have the courage to openly face, and she had spoken what lay hidden in his deepest heart, right in front of his father.
Another growl burst forth from his throat, then. He hated Izayoi because she knew him, knew him even better than his own parents did.
And he hated her because his father loved her. It was obvious, though his sire had not said such a thing aloud in his presence.
Letting out a gusty sigh, he laid his head down on his paws and let his eyes fall closed. He could admit, intellectually speaking, that his hatred of the woman was not truly justified, for she had not really done anything to him, and it was not her fault that his parents did not love him. But he couldn't seem to stop the feeling. And while the fact that he was allowing anything to cause him to harbor such feelings – feelings of hate and hurt - made him angry, that anger did little to assuage the feelings themselves.
So how did he go about ridding himself of such useless emotions? It was useless to be hurt that his father did not love him. There was nothing he could do about that, and so there was no true point in letting it bother him. But somehow, he couldn't make his heart understand that and let go of the hurt and anger that fact caused.
He needed to find the answer, though, because he did not like being controlled in any way. Long ago he had chosen the path of Supreme Conquest. The stories told by his weapons master had fired his want and his determination – he would eschew emotion and become a mighty ruler, thus surpassing his father and becoming the most powerful being in all the lands. He would – and thus prove to his father that he should have loved him, should have been proud of him, and should have trusted him.
But in order to do that, he would have to gain control of these damnable feelings. Nothing must be allowed to control him – not even his own more primitive subconscious and damned heart. Feelings only dragged you down and weakened you.
Slowly, the heir apparent to the Western Lord fell into a troubled sleep, nightmares chasing him through the halls of his mind – nightmares where endless humans defied him and even defeated him, and his father turned his back on him and cast him out for being too weak to rule the lands their family had held for thousands of years. He did not need a son that could not even fulfill his only reason for having been bred from his mother in the first place.
He was useless.
Unbidden, another pained whimper broke from the young inuyoukai prince's throat as his dreams once more haunted him with his worst fears and his own personal demons added more scars to his already deeply wounded heart.
~oOo~
Izayoi was so deep in thought that it took her a moment to notice the sudden loud snarl coming from somewhere close by. By the time she noticed the sound and looked up, the source was apparent – Sesshoumaru, in his true form, was streaking away from the palace, followed by one who could only be Satori. They looked nearly identical in their true forms, save Satori's still slightly larger size and more feminine looks and build.
Both were snarling at each other, and Izayoi, stunned, looked over at her husband, who had joined her at the ledge at the first snarl, questioningly.
"It appears that Sesshoumaru has angered Satori, and his temper has overruled his intelligence – he has challenged her," Touga replied calmly, watching as the two vanished into the distance. "They are going somewhere to fight it out. Perhaps she will succeed where I have failed to get through to him about his attitude," he sighed. "I cannot understand his terrible outlook, I will admit. He wasn't like this when he was younger. It pains me to see how he has changed, and I cannot even understand why he has become this way."
She still hadn't remembered too much of her past, but she did remember a few things about Sesshoumaru. And she couldn't deny, in her life as Kagome, she had come to feel sorry for the daiyoukai once she'd realized where most of his angst had come from.
For a male, his father was the most important, most influential person in his life. He would always look up to his father and strive to be like him, or even better. Sesshoumaru was no different.
"When was it that he began to change?" she asked, curious. She wanted to get to the bottom of the situation – there had to have been something that had caused him to change, if he truly had not always been this way.
Leaning on the ledge with one elbow, Touga really thought about it. When had his son started changing, becoming the angry, hateful being that he now was? "I guess it would have been about one hundred and fifty years ago or so that I first noticed this anger in him. Before that, we had always been close – but one day, he just started pulling away from me, and little by little, he became... what he is now. For a while I tried to figure out what had caused him to pull away, but he would not give me an answer, and I finally just gave up asking."
"Had anything happened that could have been what started it?"
Touga frowned. "Well... there was an incident right around that time, come to think of it. There was a minor lord that had come to court, a peacock youkai. He had a son, a little older than Sesshoumaru at the time – a vain, spoiled boy. One day, guards had to separate the two – Sesshoumaru had attacked the boy after words were exchanged. The child nearly died, for even as a pup Sesshoumaru was deadly. It was not long after that incident that Sesshoumaru started pulling away from me."
"Do you know what was said?" she asked, fascinated into this look into Sesshoumaru's past – and his psyche. If she could, she wanted to help him, because even if he didn't realize he needed help, he did.
He was hurting, deep down inside his deeply buried heart, and she could not fight her nature, which was to help and heal those in need – even one like Sesshoumaru, who would fight her every step of the way.
Her husband scowled, still angered all these years later over what that brat had told his son. "Yes. He called my son a bastard, and told him that he had only been born because I needed an heir – not because I really wanted a pup. And he told him that he would always be a poor bastard dog that even his father could not have any true pride or trust in. It was then that I decided it was time to begin his training and assigned him a weapons master, and he had no more contact with that boy."
Izayoi gasped, her heart going out to the little boy who had been subjected to such hateful words. But it all made sense. Sesshoumaru had taken that boy's words to heart – every action, every terrible thing he'd done since had been because he was striking out – he'd believed those words, and everything he'd done his whole life – the one she remembered from before, and this one - had been about wanting his father's love, wanting his father to be proud of him.
She sighed, nodding as she took it all in. Yes, it certainly made sense.
"Touga, I was not just saying whatever I could to get under Sesshoumaru's skin in that council meeting yesterday. Everything he has done, it all goes back to what that boy said to him. If I had to guess, that was not the only time or only person that has said similar things to him. He feels like he was simply a necessity to you, a means to an end, not that you really wanted him, and of all things he wants your love and respect. He doesn't feel as though he has it." She met her husband's shocked gaze. "And keeping secrets from him only fosters that image – by not telling him about that certain thing you guard," she said, careful not to name the jewel, "you gave substance to those hurtful words from the past. You made it seem as though you didn't trust him, proving that boy's hateful words - at least, to him."
The daiyoukai didn't know what to say. Have I truly been making things worse with my son by keeping secrets from him? "But why would what that brat said make Sesshoumaru hate humans?" he asked, completely lost for the first time when it came to the subject of his son. He didn't know what to think anymore, because what Izayoi was saying made sense – painful sense. If she was correct, then it was his own fault his son was the way he was.
"If I had to guess, I would say that it started out in a small way – perhaps he said something mildly derogatory about humans, maybe parroting another child, and you took him to task for it a little harshly, making him feel as though you cared more for random humans than you did for him." Izayoi sighed as she turned away from the view, her eyes solemn as she thought back to the things she'd known of Sesshoumaru in her other life. "If there was one thing I learned in my time as Kagome, it was that Sesshoumaru is very, very sensitive, even though he does not seem so. He hides his hurt behind an icy facade, and has even managed to convince himself that his ice is actually who he is. But it isn't. Deep down, he's still that hurt little boy that doesn't think his father loves or wants him."
Even though on the surface his wife's words seemed so ridiculous when it came to Sesshoumaru, somehow, he knew she was right. She'd hit the nail on the head with all her guesses so far – even with her supposition on how the boy's hatred of humans had probably started. He had, indeed, had just such an encounter with his son as she'd described once when the boy was younger, and had been a little more fierce in his reaction than was probably strictly necessary. It had, indeed, been after that time that his son's enmity towards humans had seemingly gone so out of control.
I can't believe all this time... I've been so blind. If I had handled things differently my son would not be the cold, withdrawn, and emotionally stunted being he now is. "Is this why he seems to think himself better than everyone else, too? Have I somehow, without realizing it, fed his arrogance?" he asked, truly devastated at the truths that his wife was forcing him to see. Because Sesshoumaru was wrong – dead wrong – he did love his son, more than just about anything except his wife. Both of them, his wife and his son, were his world. But how could he make his pup see that – or was it truly too late for that? Were Sesshoumaru's beliefs set in stone now?
"No, Touga," Izayoi said, turning to her husband and pressing herself against his chest, offering comfort as she wrapped her arms around him. She could see how her words had hurt her proud husband, and feel the same through their bond. "I think... his arrogance is his way of trying to prove to himself that it doesn't matter that you don't love him. He tries to make himself believe that he is better than everyone else, and it's just your loss that you don't realize how wonderful he really is. But... in truth, that attitude of his is built on a foundation of sand. Deep down, he really feels lesser than everyone else. His arrogance is his protection against being hurt, being forced to see himself as he thinks you see him."
With a forlorn growl, Touga dropped his head onto her shoulder and his own shoulders slumped. "It's all my fault, then. All of it. How could I have failed my son so badly, when I love him as much as I do? I've been so inattentive..." he trailed off, terribly upset as the reality of his son's hurt slammed into him.
"You did not do the things you did to harm him, Touga. No one is a perfect parent," Izayoi soothed, her heart hurting for her husband's pain – and Sesshoumaru's. "You are not kami, and cannot read his mind. But now that you know, you must decide on a different path – a different way of dealing with and reaching him. I know you love him – so you must find a way to prove that to him. And first things first – do not hide anything else from him. He is more loyal to you than you know, despite his belief that you do not love him or trust him – all of his actions are bent on proving himself to you. Above all things he wants you to acknowledge him, not as your heir, but as your son. A son that you love. So prove yourself to him, instead."
Outwardly, he accepted the comfort she was offering, but inside, he could not accept that he hadn't failed his son terribly, that he wasn't at fault for all of his son's problems. He was. And now all I can do is try to undo the damage I've done through the years and hope it isn't too late. I can't believe I've been so blind... "I've been so busy ruling and protecting a kingdom that I forgot that my most important title was not Lord of the West, but father," he said slowly, tightening his hold on his wife as he raised his head and looked down at her, suddenly even more grateful for her presence in his life than he'd been before. He shuddered to think of the division between he and his heir that might have come about if she hadn't opened his eyes to what he was doing to his pup. "I promise you, Izayoi, that whatever children we have will not have to suffer their father's inattention. You have reminded me today of what is most important – and I will not forget it again. Thank you, my love, for opening my eyes to what my neglectful actions have done."
Izayoi ran her fingers gently up her husband's back in the way she knew he liked, and blushed at the thought of having children with him. "It is not an easy task, being a father, even when you are a simple farmer. It is even more difficult when you rule a kingdom as well. And the gods did not give instructions on how to take care of children, either, so we stumble along and do the best that we can. It will be alright. Sesshoumaru is not beyond reach, it will just take time."
Her husband said nothing, just tightening his hold on her a little more, holding her pressed to him as he cradled her in his arms.
I hope you are right, my Izayoi – for I do not wish to lose my son to my failings as a father.
~oOo~
A shadow slid past the open shoji, neither being standing wrapped in each others arms on the terrace noticing its passage.
Teruko peeked carefully around the door, watching with jealous and hateful eyes as Touga, the male she had set her cap at years ago, openly cuddled a disgusting human female to himself as though she were more precious than gold.
She scowled, furious. How dare he use her to sate his desires and then toss her aside as though she were mere garbage? She was a noblewoman, the daughter of a powerful clan. It should have been her sitting by Touga's side and ruling the West, not some whey-faced child.
Her eyes narrowed in rage as the two spoke in soft tones, and she wanted nothing more than to rush out there and gut the whore where she stood. Her eyes actually fell closed for a moment as she imagined how the wench's blood would taste. How she wanted to bathe in her blood... but it would never happen. No, unfortunately... the only way for her to kill the female and get away with it was to do it in a way that would distance her from the death.
Actually, she was hoping quite ardently that Izayoi would die in the coming war. It would be perfect – Touga would have no reason to suspect her or be angry at her in any way if some dragon were to kill the wench. It was just a shame that she wouldn't be able to actually have the woman's blood on her claws, but sacrifices had to be made, after all, and what was most important to Teruko was placing herself as Touga's wife and Lady of the West.
Then again, war was chaos, and she might actually be able to sink her claws into the human if she did it right, and Touga would not have the first clue that she had a hand in the death. That idea excited her – if she was to be forced to fight in the war herself, as Touga had decreed everyone of sound body and mind was to do, then she would damn well get some satisfaction out of it.
Casting one last black, condemnatory glare at Touga and his wench, Teruko moved away, knowing better than to linger too long in the female's vicinity. It would not do for all her guardians to catch sight of her eyeing the female with hatred.
But what if I am unable to kill her in the war, and no one else does, either? It will be almost impossible to poison her, since her food and drink will be monitored most closely. I suppose I could hire assassins... the demon ninja clan would probably be the best answer. But if she's as powerful as I've heard, if she really was able to dispel an attack by Sesshoumaru himself with no difficulty whatsoever, then even one of that clan would stand very little chance of killing her.
Frustrated, as it almost seemed as though she were too well protected to ever die, Teruko slipped through the halls of the palace, not paying a bit of attention to her surroundings. It wasn't until she passed a startled servant that she realized that she was in the family wing of the palace, where she definitely didn't belong. Yet, she thought fiercely. One day I will!
But as she passed by a door she knew was the entry to the heir's rooms, an idea came to her – perhaps Sesshoumaru would be willing to help her? After all, it was no secret that he hated his father's bride, her humanity entirely offensive to him. He would make an excellent ally... but after a moment's consideration, she realized that it was a dangerous thing to consider, because if he took offense to plotting against his father, even indirectly, it would mean her life. She had no illusions – if she were caught plotting against the human wench by anyone loyal to Touga, it would mean her death.
No, she decided, reluctantly resigned to waiting for the war to start, it would be best to wait. If the war doesn't take care of the problem for me, then I will find another way.
Another thing that was bothering her was that bitch Satori. As if it were not already bad enough on its own that she was mother to the heir, that fact meant that even should she, Teruko succeed finally in making herself the Lady here, any child she bore would be less than nothing, merely another lesser son with no prospects. That idea didn't sit well with her, and it was even worse that it was Satori that was Sesshoumaru's mother – she hated Satori more than anyone else, even that human wench.
They had been enemies since the day they'd met. Teruko would have killed her long ago but for the ignominious truth that Satori was by far the more powerful of the two. She was nearly as powerful as Touga himself, and definitely the most powerful of all the females in the West – although, if what she was hearing about that ningen was true, perhaps Satori wasn't quite the strongest anymore. Either way, it made no difference to her, because the bitch was definitely more powerful than she was.
What was even worse was the fact that it seemed as though the Mother of the Heir had taken a strong liking to the Western Lady. Izayoi had killed Masao's wife, freeing he and Satori to finally be together. Apparently, Leiko had attacked the wench with no warning and had died without even drawing blood on her opponent – and all right in front of Satori. That meant the bitch would certainly be watching Izayoi's back, making things even harder for her.
I hope Masao gets killed in the coming war, just to make Satori suffer forever with the loss of her love – after waiting a lifetime for him and finally getting her chance, to lose him within a few weeks to war would be so devastating. How tragic... she thought snidely, taking great pleasure in imagining Satori's grief if such were to happen.
Finally making her way back into the public portions of the palace, Teruko found a private little nook in an out-of-the-way garden room and settled under the spreading branches of an elm, her thoughts still on the ways and means to kill those in her way – and those she simply disliked.
Maybe she was looking at this the wrong way. Instead of looking for allies wanting the Lady's death here in Kangetsu, perhaps she should be looking in the human world? It could very well be that she had enemies amongst her own race that would be willing to take her out. She was intrigued... yes, that was what she would do. Izayoi had been named the Hime of Setsuna. So she would send out some of her spies and see what could be found in Setsuna.
In the meantime, she amused herself with visions of the wench's death, and Satori's devastation should she lose her beloved Masao. The daydreams were highly satisfying, and so she laid back in the grass and indulged her desire to watch that bitch's suffering, even if it was only in dreams right now. The gleeful vision of her reaction if her precious son were to also die had her smirking nastily. How perfect that would be – not only would it devastate that horrid bitch, but it would remove Sesshoumaru as heir, meaning that there would be no one in the way of her own offspring one day ruling the West.
She chuckled darkly to herself – it seemed her list of those that needed to be disposed of was growing – Satori, Izayoi, and even Sesshoumaru himself needed to die so that she could have what she wanted – Touga, the title of Lady, and the title of Mother of the Heir, as well.
How glorious to see all the other importunate bitches in this place forced to bow to her...
Her eyes fell closed and her smirk widened, twisting her face into ugly lines as she slipped into a light sleep, her dreams entertaining her with visions of what it would be like to rule the West. It would be so satisfying...
~oOo~
Arata slipped into Takako's former room and looked around for a moment before going over to the large wardrobe and opening it to study the full-length mirror attached to the heavy wooden door.
It was a clever way to maintain contact with a person, and he was not surprised that his previous suppositions about how Ryukotsussei was keeping in contact with his daughter was correct. He hadn't yet spoken to Touga about it, but he would, and he was pretty sure of what his Lord would do with the mirror.
But first he wanted to try a little something he'd picked up years ago from the teacher his parents had hired to train him in every type of magic known to kitsune. He'd learned his lessons well and quickly, advancing through the ranks in the youjitsu exams faster than any other kit ever had, to his father's great pride.
The particular spell he was about to make use of was a very difficult one to learn and master – it had taken him many, many tries to finally do it. But he was proud of his mastery of it – very few kitsune could actually pull it off – in fact, as far as he knew, besides his own teacher, only four others had also mastered this spell. (Although he had wondered at times if Touga was also capable of it – kitsune magic or not, no one knew for certain just how much Touga really knew, or just what he was capable of, not even his best friends - or former teachers.)
Basically, a mirror, once spelled to be used as a link between two people was useless to anyone other than the two it was keyed to. But this particular spell allowed him to subvert the mirror, giving him the ability to also use it. In fact, if he had enough power, he could use it as more than just a link – he could turn it into a portal, whereby he could actually use it to take him to the place the second mirror of the pair sat. For an assassin, such a tool was invaluable, and Arata smiled grimly, wishing he could use it so – sneak into Ryukotsussei's palace and then kill him. No one would be the wiser until it was far, far too late.
But alas, Touga would never allow such a thing – he would face the dragon in honorable battle. He had already marked Ryukotsussei as his prey, and anyone that interfered with that risked the inu daiyoukai's wrath.
He let his gaze wander the mirror, absently taking it in. It was a work of art. The frame was made from the sakura tree, and softened and polished until it almost glowed. And the glass itself... it was dragon-made, there was no doubt of that. Completely clear, it contained none of the imperfections of most mirrors – human-made mirrors were quite inferior, dark and tarnished looking even when brand new. It was one of the few things that dragons created that were of any value at all, as far as most other youkai were concerned.
I think I will ask Touga to give me this mirror. Once I break its link to the second one, I can use it as a portal to anyplace that also has a mirror, even if it is an inferior human made one. It would certainly make it easier to get in and out of places when on an assignment.
That was a secret that only a very few knew – he was an assassin, and he had even been trained in the ways of the demon ninjas by a former clan member that had been cast out for desiring the Lord of the clan's female.
Most people thought he was little more than a playboy, his most useful skill his ability to seduce pretty much anyone. And while it was a skill he had made use of many, many times, it was merely one of many skills that he had. It suited him, however, to keep those things secret, and let people think him a being with little more than sex on his mind, because it kept people at ease around him and he found out a great deal of useful information for the very reason that no one really took him seriously.
Deliberately clearing his mind, he prepared himself for what he was about to do. Once his mind was completely free of any other distractions, he began feeding energy into the glass a little at a time so that it would not trigger the defensive spells such mirrors always had. Normally, if a person tried to subvert the mirror's purpose by force, the mirror would self-destruct, exploding into little more than fine grains of sand, no longer useful for anything.
But by feeding the glass only a little energy at a time, the defensive spells could be bypassed. It was slow going, however, taking a fine hand to keep the energy going into the glass at a constant speed. Finally, after a good quarter candle-mark, the glass was glowing with his youki, and he could move on to the next part of the spell.
Normally, he would have completely destroyed the original spell tying it to the second mirror, but in this case he was merely subverting it for a time. Once Touga had been told of it and had a chance to do whatever he wished with it, he would then destroy the original spell and take it for himself.
Slowly, eyes closed, he used his energy to twine with the energy of the mirror's owner, allowing him to make the mirror show him whatever he wished to see or hear from its location by fooling it into thinking that he was its master. First things first... he directed the mirror to search for Ryukotsussei. He wanted to see what the dragon was doing – if he was lucky, he'd even find out something about the bastard's plans.
He watched with silent interest as the swirling energies in the mirror cleared, showing him a rather elaborate room with what could only be termed a throne at the front of it. He snorted inwardly – the bastard certainly suffered from delusions of grandeur. Ryukotsussei himself was sitting in it looking at two females with a barely hidden lasciviousness that caught his immediate attention. He leaned forward, quite eager to hear what was being said.
"-your proposal, and have decided that we will agree to your terms – with certain provisions," one of the females was saying. She had icy blue hair and eyes, and her voice was clear and cold.
"What provisions?" Ryukotsussei asked her, the pupils of his eyes narrowing.
"We will be the ones to raise and train the young – they will, after all, have skills and powers that you will not be able to teach them about. Also," Kotake said, watching Ryukotsussei closely, "we will only allow you to breed us after the war with the West is over, win or lose. It would not be safe to be breeding while in battle." She paused, and Ryukotsussei nodded, not really bothered by anything she'd said so far. "One final thing," she added, and he stiffened, wondering what this last proviso was. "You must first be rid of your other young. Our offspring will be the heirs to your lands or the deal is off."
"Heirs?" he asked curiously. "The eldest will be heir, of course."
"No. You do not understand fully what you will be receiving in asking us to bear your young. As we are, so will they be, carried by two different mothers or not. We truly are two different aspects of one being, and so will our young be. They will do everything together, including rule," Koume said, glancing at her 'sister'. "This is the truth of who we are, Ryukotsussei – we are twins, two halves of one being, and yet, we were also borne of different mothers."
There was no denying that he was stunned. But the more he thought about it, the better he liked the idea – the two females before him were quite powerful even by themselves, and were even stronger when together. If his own young would be the same, would that not be even better? He could just imagine them, taking over the rule of all the lands and grinding all other races beneath their clawed feet. Even if he did not succeed in defeating Touga and finding the Shikon no Tama himself, it would be his heirs that would rule all one day. He could deal with that.
The thought soothed something inside him – some ever-present need that was always churning inside his gut, and he smirked devilishly as he agreed to the two's terms. "We are agreed, then. Once this war is over, win or lose, I will destroy whatever offspring of mine haven't already been killed, and you both will bear me a son." He narrowed his eyes for a moment. "However, I am not willing to just hand over my heirs to be raised completely away from me. I will install you both here in the palace and we will raise our sons together."
Koume and Kotake looked at each other, communicating silently between each other while Ryukotsussei watched, cautiously optimistic. After a few minutes, without one actual word being spoken aloud, both turned and met his gaze. "We agree to your offer, with the proviso that we may at times go to our own home, as there are some things that we cannot teach our offspring anywhere but there. You will, of course, be welcome to come and see what they are learning."
Ryukotsussei nodded immediately, and the deal was done.
"When do you march on the West?" Koume asked, eyes intent. "We need to know so we can decide how we may be most effective."
The dragon lord stood and began pacing as he considered the matter. "I do not wish to attack before I find where the jewel has been hidden – it is, after all, what this whole thing is about. But so far I have been unable to ascertain where the damn dog has put it – he keeps the location close to his chest. From what I have gathered, even his own heir does not know where it is," he exclaimed, once again irritated at the thought that this one thing had eluded him since he'd started searching. "And another thing I have just found out," he said, glancing up at the two females watching him with little expression. "The fool has found himself a bride – a miko of incredible power. According to those who have seen her in action, she is as strong as Midoriko was-" he paused momentarily as the two female's hissed at that, then continued, "-with a greater range of powers. She will be a most dangerous detriment to our plans, especially as it seems the kami have tasked her with the destruction of the Shikon no Tama."
Both Koume and Kotake appeared agitated at this news, to Arata's great interest.
"Your sources are reliable?" Kotake asked, the chill in her voice actually giving rise to a cooling in the air around her.
"As reliable as they can be. I have tasked my spy with killing the woman, but I don't think he will be successful – that would be too easy, as Touga has her quite well guarded, and that is not even taking into account her own power," he replied.
"You are sure she is as powerful as you were told?" Koume asked, a peculiar sort of intensity in her voice that Ryukotsussei seemingly missed, though the eavesdropping kitsune did not, and he narrowed his eyes on the female with interest.
"From what I was told, Touga's heir, that little arrogant bastard Sesshoumaru dislikes his father's choice in bride since she is human. He attacked her – and she blew his attack apart as though it were nothing. While Sesshoumaru is not yet as strong as his father or I, he is still a powerful youkai, and she is apparently much stronger than he is at this point," the dragon answered, seemingly preoccupied with something else.
Koume and Kotake exchanged displeased glances; they knew of the heir of the Western Lord, and he was indeed strong. If this female truly blew away an attack of his with no effort on her part, then this woman was truly a most dangerous opponent. They would have to consider this new information most carefully, for neither had any intention of dying for Ryukotsussei's aspirations. While they were very strong, they had one weakness that they could not be rid of – if one of them were killed, the other would also weaken and die.
"We will have to consider this information most carefully," Kotake finally said, already deep in thought as her mind turned over various possibilities, her sister following suit.
Ryukotsussei looked over at them, his attention arrested from his own thoughts by the tone of her voice, but he merely nodded after a moment spent looking at them. "If you can think of some way to neutralize this threat, then by all means, do so," he said darkly. "Her death would be a sweet victory; anything that I can take from that dog, any way I can make him suffer is an end most sought after by me."
The two females inclined their heads regally, and without ceremony stood and swept from the room, intent on their thoughts.
Arata watched the two leave and then considered Ryukotsussei for some few minutes, waiting to see if he could gain anything else. But after a little while it was clear he would get no more information, and he allowed his energy to close the link, already pondering what he'd learned.
And though he'd never admit it, deep down he felt a bit sorry for Takako – it was clear that she was little more than a throw-away to her father. Really, it was no wonder she was such an unhappy, bitter female. What else could she be coming from a background like that?
He stood and strode purposefully from the room – it was time to search out Touga and tell him what he'd found out – especially the fact that Ryukotsussei had ordered his 'spy' to kill Izayoi-sama. While there was no doubt that Hisashi would not be successful, it was good to know that he might well try. Arata shuddered at the fate awaiting the fool should he actually be stupid enough to try such a thing...
Touga would make his death so terrible that it would be spoken of in fear for a thousand years or more, of that he had no doubt.
It was a very, very dangerous endeavor to target the spouse of an inuyoukai – they were vicious and very capable of things most beings would hesitate to contemplate when it came to making someone pay for attempting to cause harm to their spouse or young.
He smiled grimly at the thought...
Go ahead, Hisashi – try to bring harm to Touga's bride. I'll enjoy watching him shred you into tiny pieces one strip of flesh at a time.
~oOo~
"We need to talk."
Touga really hated it when someone said that to him – it was usually bad news when someone used those words, and he eyed Arata, now almost morbidly curious.
"The topic?"
"Ryukotsussei and his machinations. I have information for you," Arata said tersely, not wanting to give too much away at the dinner table; there were far too many untrustworthy ears around, which was why he'd waited until the meal was almost over to even say anything.
Tensing, Touga nodded, then glanced at his wife, who had already finished her meal and was petting a purring Kirara calmly. "Very well. I am finished here, and if you are also, Izayoi?" he asked after looking at her plate; he cast a glance over at Kenichi, and then Kenji and his wife's two attendants in question. All indicated their readiness to leave the table, and without further ado he stood and led them from the room, not paying any attention to the spate of talk that broke out at the group's abrupt departure. For a moment he dithered on where to take them, but then decided on his and Izayoi's quarters, as it would attract less notice than if he were to go to his office.
He had the feeling that what he was about to be told was information he wanted kept secret.
The group was completely silent as they followed the inuyoukai through the palace, each one intent on their own thoughts. Once they reached his quarters, he led the group in – then paused; glancing enigmatically at his wife for a moment, he turned to Kenichi and said, "Go find my son and inform him that his presence is required here."
Both Kenji and Arata hid surprised looks, though Kenichi did not react with anything other than a nod before leaving and heading for Sesshoumaru's powerful aura.
Izayoi nodded approvingly at her husband. "I'm glad to see you're taking my advice," she said softly. "But remember – do not expect miracles. It will take time for you to prove yourself to him, and until then, there will still be strife between you both."
He sighed yet nodded, knowing she was right but disliking the thought of yet more misunderstandings between he and his son. Still, he had to start somewhere, and it couldn't be at the top. It had taken time for this chasm to develop between he and his heir, and it would take time to close that gap and heal the wounds he had inadvertently caused his son.
"You're right, of course, my dear." Ignoring the curious looks from Kenji and Arata, he motioned for them all to find comfortable cushions and relax while they waited for Sesshoumaru and Kenichi to return. He glanced over at Izayoi as she sat down, taking note of her small smile as she looked up at the portrait of her family that presided over this sitting area. He was pleased he'd thought of it as contentment hummed along his bond with her. He may have failed his son, but at least he hadn't failed as a husband – so far. That didn't mean he wouldn't screw it up at some point, he thought darkly to himself. If he ever hurt Izayoi the way he apparently had his son... he stopped such thoughts there – he would not do so, and that was all there was to it.
It wasn't but a few minutes later that Sesshoumaru, followed by Kenichi, tapped on the wooden frame of the shoji, and then entered at his father's command. As soon as they were inside, Touga closed the barrier that was always kept around his room, and then in a quiet aside, asked Izayoi to put up a sound-proof one, as well.
Arata got straight to the point the moment the barriers were up and the two had taken seats with the group.
"Ryukotsussei is not happy about the bride that you have chosen, my Lord," he began, ignoring Sesshoumaru's less than pleased expression at the topic. "Her presence has him jumping at shadows and in a panic – he has no idea of how to counter the advantage she gives us. His new allies, the twin sorceresses Koume and Kotake are also quite concerned with finding an answer to Izayoi-sama," he informed his liege lord. "Ryukotsussei has ordered his little spy to kill her, though he seems to have little faith that a certain someone will actually succeed."
Touga's low, dangerous growl raised the hair on everyone in the room, Sesshoumaru's expression going closed as he watched his sire's reaction. "So we can expect an attempt of some sort, then, can we?" he rumbled, his eyes bleeding red as his claws lengthened and began emanating green light as poison gathered beneath them. "Go on," he ordered after a moment.
"The females have agreed to bear him an heir each," he answered, and Kenichi spoke up, knowing more of this topic.
"They are the ones I spoke of, my Lord," he said, worry clear in his eyes as he looked at his wife, who was sitting quietly behind Izayoi. "If they have agreed to his request, then it is only a matter of time before he kills all of his children. I fear he will not rest until all are dead, too, since if one of them eludes death, they would actually be next in line for the rule of the North, not the younglings these females plan to bear him. And there are some in his court that would not accept the spawn of those females as Lords if there were any other choice – the two have many enemies. If Ryukotsussei were to die, and any of his children had survived his attempts at killing them all, most of the clans would back that one, instead of giving power to those two or any child of theirs."
"Hm," Touga growled, his voice still agitated with the threat to his wife, who surprisingly enough, didn't seem concerned at all. "Anything else, Arata?"
"Yes, my Lord. They are only willing to bear him these children when the others are all dead, as Kenichi has feared, and they also said that they will only agree to being bred after the war is over. They did tell him some things about their nature, and the nature of any offspring they give him, that I did find... odd," the kitsune said, his brow furrowing as he thought back over their words. They were strange females – he'd never heard of anything like what they had said of their natures.
"Odd?" Touga prompted after a moment.
"According to the female, though they have two different bodies, they are actually one being. They called themselves twins, yet from what they said, they were born of two different females. Their offspring would be the same – one being in two bodies borne by two different females."
Touga looked intrigued, as did Sesshoumaru, who had so far been silent, merely listening to what was being said with a rather remote expression that neither his father nor Izayoi missed. "I have never heard of such," the younger daiyoukai said. "Do we know anything more?"
"Yes," Kenichi answered, and everyone looked at him expectantly. "One of the females is fire, and one is ice. But apparently, opposing natures or not, the two can combine into one being – a being much stronger than the sum of their two parts."
The room fell silent for a few minutes as Touga considered that. The next voice to speak up, however, surprised everyone.
"They are a strain of dragon that is basically what I would call a genetic mutation," Izayoi began, wondering how to explain DNA to youkai several hundred years before the concept was known. She sighed at the confused expressions on the faces surrounding her. "In other words, something in their inherited traits changes from the norm, and these so-called 'twins' are born. If the twins are males, then both will breed a different normal dragon female and those offspring are also the mutated 'twins'."
"They are always a single line, then," Sesshoumaru surmised, for once, surprisingly, not speaking insolently to her.
Izayoi, though surprised, chose not to mention it and simply agreed. "Yes. Each set of 'twins' will only have one child each, creating the next set of 'twins'."
"Where did you learn this, Izayoi?" Touga asked, definitely surprised that she'd known of something that even he hadn't.
"At the shrine where I was trained there was a decent sized library of texts on such subjects as magic and youkai, even sorcery. There was an old scroll that spoke about these dragons in some detail. This particular scroll was written by a youkai, but I'm not sure how the shrine came by it, or why it was even kept."
"So what is their weakness?" Sesshoumaru asked, cutting right to the chase, his voice cold yet analytical as he turned his imposing intellect on to the problem these females posed.
Once again, it was Izayoi that answered. "Ironically, it is the very thing that gives them more strength and power that is their weakness," she said, her voice still carefully neutral so as not to antagonize her husband's son. "As said, together they are more powerful than when apart – but if one is killed, then the other one will follow, though the death is slow and agonizing from what the scroll said. So the trick is to make them feel safe enough to keep them from combining, and then kill one of them. Once one is dead, it matters not which, the other is no longer a threat. So far, no one has managed to kill them – at least, not before the next set of 'twins' was born, since if they had, this line would have disappeared."
"Hnnn," Sesshoumaru's nostrils thinned as he took that in. "How strong are they individually?" he asked after a moment.
"They are not as powerful as, say, my Lord Touga," Kenichi said, his eyes narrowed as he weighed what he remembered of their youki. Individually, they are probably as strong as Takako, maybe a little stronger. Together, they are at least as strong as yourself, Sesshoumaru-sama."
While all of this was interesting to Touga, and he filed all the information gained carefully away, he was more interested in the threat to his wife. "What is spoken of in this room is to go no further," he said, his voice still rumbling deeply, and everyone immediately submitted to his will. "I want Hisashi watched even more carefully than he was before. If he decides to make any attempt on my wife, I want to know about it – and be warned, all of you – he is my prey. If anyone takes his life, they owe me forfeit."
At that, everyone in the room save Izayoi bowed low, once more submitting – not a single one of them would dare to lay a hand on Hisashi except in self-defense, because none of them wanted to owe Touga what he would demand in forfeit. Not even Sesshoumaru.
"So he is the one you suspect as the traitor," his son said after a moment of silence, meeting his father's gaze. "What is it that has made you suspicious of him?"
"Truthfully, many things. He has tried many times and in many different ways to get the location of the Shikon no Tama out of me." Touga smiled dangerously, his fangs gleaming in the lamplight. "Not that I am foolish enough to give him such information."
"And do you suspect me, also, of betrayal, then, father? For you also hid such information from me, as well." He kept his expression remote and cold, though it was obvious, at least to Izayoi, that it wasn't easy. He really believed that his father didn't trust him, and he was very hurt by that belief.
She glanced at her husband and tilted her head discreetly towards Sesshoumaru; Touga nodded and looked back at his son. After a moment, he dismissed everyone else for the night with orders to keep their eyes and ears open and mouths shut. Once the room was clear and the barriers back in place, Touga looked at his son, who was still sitting impassively watching him, though now that he was looking for it, he could see the reticence towards him in his heir's eyes.
Izayoi, knowing that this was a subject that was not truly her business, stood up and quietly excused herself, heading through the open shoji into their bedroom proper and sliding it closed behind her to give them at least some privacy. She was well aware that Sesshoumaru would be unlikely to open up to his father with witnesses, and especially not if the witness was her.
Once the room was clear, Touga looked at his son, really looked at him for the first time in a long time. It was amazing to him how much the pup looked like his mother – he was a masculine version of Satori though the shape of the boy's nose and mouth were just like his own. He was the pinnacle of thousands of years of careful breeding in the Western line, the promise of power in him enough to make Touga bristle with pride that it was his son that would one day be the strongest inu Lord of them all.
But... he had damaged his son with his inattention, and Sesshoumaru's reactions to that had only fostered a sense of concern in him of his heir's suitability to rule because of his hatred of humans and his disdain of anyone not of his immediate bloodline. And yet... it was all his own fault that his son was reacting that way, and now it was up to him to fix it.
"I am more sorry than I can ever say for whatever I have done that has made you think that I do not trust you, Sesshoumaru," he began bluntly, taking in his son's shock at his words in the widening of the boy's pupils and the sudden tension in his frame. "That couldn't be further from the truth. I would never think you capable of such dishonor as to be a traitor to your blood, to the West, to me. I am simply used to keeping things to myself. And I will admit – with your love of power, I feared what knowledge of the Shikon no Tama might foster in you."
Sesshoumaru stiffened even more and actually managed to look insulted. "Power that is not your own is not worth the effort of gaining it," he snapped. "I have no desire for false power, father." He paused and studied his sire with narrow eyes. "What was it that changed your mind about telling me of the jewel?"
"Izayoi. Remember, she told us she knew of you in that other life. She took me to task for not telling you, and told me the same thing you just did – about your disdain for power that was not native to ones person," he replied after a moment – he hadn't been sure he should tell his son honestly who had changed his mind about the topic, but decided to be truthful. He needed to understand that Izayoi was not his enemy – that his only true enemy was himself.
"So it took the voice of another to tell you of your own son," Sesshoumaru said quietly, and the inuyoukai could hear the hurt in his son's voice, though he tried to hide it.
Touga sighed, then, his bearing slumping a little as he allowed his son to witness his own uncertainty, his weariness, and his sorrow. "I am not a god, Sesshoumaru - I do not know everything. And you have a tendency to be even more secretive about yourself than anyone I know. You make it difficult to know you. Still, I have failed you in some ways, and I am more sorry for that than you will ever know. But I do trust you, and I am proud that you are my son. No, you are not perfect, but then, neither am I - as a certain female reminded me earlier this very day," he said wryly, trying to lighten the heaviness in the room a little.
Sesshoumaru was uncertain of what to make of his father's speech, but suddenly, it was as if he were a small pup again, running to his father to protect him from those things that were frightening to all small pups. He remembered in that moment that his father had always protected him, never ridiculing him even when his fears were foolish – he had never judged him, only taken him by the hand and even held him at times, while showing him that whatever it was that had scared him was nothing to be frightened of. Cautious of, perhaps, but not feared. How he had looked up to his sire, wanting so much to be as strong and proud and unafraid as he was. He still did, he acknowledged to himself. He still did want to be like his father.
"Where is the Shikon no Tama?" he asked, his eyes weighing his father's sincerity, wanting to believe that what he had said was true.
Touga knew that his son would be watching all his actions from here on out, and that the time to prove his words to his son had come. He would do it, too – he would prove that he trusted his son, and that he was proud of him. That he did, indeed, love him, no matter what mistakes he had made in the past.
"You were not even born yet when Midoriko died, but do you remember from your lessons where her body is?" he asked quietly after meeting his son's gaze.
Sesshoumaru inclined his head in the affirmative. "I remember what my teachers told me of where she fought her last battle – it was in a cave behind what is now the taijiya village," he said slowly, obviously putting two and two together as he then asked, "It is there, in that cave, is it not?"
Nodding, Touga said, "Up until recently, it was asleep, or dormant, and kept hidden from prying eyes by a barrier."
"Recently? It has been moved?"
"I stated that badly," he sighed, rubbing his eyes, worn out from the strong emotion of the last few days and the business of the coming war. "It is still there, only now it is no longer dormant, merely dozing. It woke up and reached out to Izayoi. When that happened, it triggered her memories to begin waking within her. Her fate has been so completely entwined with the jewel that she can feel it in ways no one else can, and it can also feel her."
Sesshoumaru's lashes swept down, covering his eyes and hiding his thoughts. "Why did you choose to wed her, father? And do not tell me it was because of Ryukotsussei. If you had simply wanted an ally against the dragon, then you could have approached her as such rather than wed her. I want to know the truth."
At that question, Touga stood up and walked to the garden shoji, sliding it open and staring silently out into the softly scented night for some time as he ordered and calmed his clamoring mind. Once he'd calmed and quieted his thoughts, he glanced over his shoulder and beckoned for his son to follow him, then headed out into his private garden.
As his son reached his side, he breathed in deeply, and then exhaled on a sigh, allowing a great deal of his tension to dissipate in that movement. "There are many answers to that question, Sesshoumaru," he finally said. "I will not deny, she fascinated me. From the very beginning, everything that Kenji reported to me drew me in deeper to the mystery that is her. And the more I have learned, the more fascinated I have become. Think of it, Sesshoumaru – she knows the future! I have heard her speak in a language even I do not know, and sing in that language, as well. She has so much knowledge locked away inside her mind! The things she tells me of, they are mesmerizing."
"How far into the future?" Sesshoumaru asked, unable to keep himself from doing so, though he tried very hard to remain uninterested. But if he had one failing, it was his insatiable curiosity.
"Seven hundred years," Touga breathed, and had to swallow his laughter as the pup's interest was unwillingly piqued.
"Still," he said, reluctantly fighting off the desire to hear more. "Even that is not the answer."
Touga chuckled then, though the sound was a bit strained. "No, in the end, even that is not the answer, though it caught my attention. But the truth is, Izayoi was meant to be the wife of a youkai. She is everything that draws our kind – danger swirls around her in strong currents and riptides and she is a focal point of the fates. As I got to know her she drew more than just my interest. I love her, Sesshoumaru. I am sorry that this upsets you, but in the end I will not give her up, not for anyone. That has nothing to do with whether I trust you, or not, though. You are my son, and I am proud that you are. That will never change. One day, I will pass all that our bloodline has been charged with protecting on to you. It is a great trust, but it is one you must earn, my son, just as I had to. Things that are handed to you because of who you are mean less than nothing, and I will not devalue the West that way."
It was clear to Touga in that moment that his son wanted to believe that he trusted and was proud of him, but that he was extremely wary and afraid of being hurt again; the reserve in his eyes clearly stated such as he did not directly acknowledge his father's words, simply excusing himself and quietly taking his leave. But that desire to believe him was all the opening that he really needed. In time, his son would once more know of his father's pride in him, his trust, and his love, too. Sooner or later, he would undo the damage that the past had done, digging his son out of the ice that he'd buried himself in out of a need to protect himself from anymore hurt.
Still, there were two very big problems with his pup that would have to be resolved, and that was his hatred of humans and his complete lack of respect for anyone not named Sesshoumaru.
He sighed – those particular problems might as well have been one of those elephants that lived on the mainland for all their size – and they would need to be resolved, soon.
Why couldn't he reserve his hatred for something reasonable, something that all inu hate – like snakes?
~oOo~
A/N: This chapter took me a long time to write – and I wrote the parts about Sesshoumaru, then completely erased them twice before I got them right. I'm taking Sesshoumaru's character straight from canon. Throughout the manga, all of Sesshoumaru's problems were based on his mistaken belief that his father didn't love or respect him, that he had cast him away when Inuyasha was born and had instead given his second son all his love. That was really why he hated Inuyasha, not so much because of his blood. That was just a convenient excuse; though he did carry most youkai's disdain for things that were weak, Inuyasha did manage to prove to his brother that, while he wasn't daiyoukai, he certainly wasn't weak.
Now, some might argue that Sesshoumaru was never this emotional in the manga. But in the beginning, he was. He even used profanity and showed a great deal of anger and rage. It wasn't until later on that he became so much more quiet and introspective. And remember, too, in the manga he was the human equivalent of nineteen – and as we find out in the third movie, the events of Inuyasha's birth and his father's death happened two hundred years before the events of the manga. So Sesshoumaru is two hundred years younger in this story than he was at the time of the manga, still just the equivalent of perhaps fifteen human years. He's a teenager, and teens are emotional, often angsty beings – even youkai ones.
On the topic of Satori's fight with Sesshoumaru – some might say she's being a terrible mother for fighting with him in the way she is. And while it is true that most of Sesshoumaru's problems are directly related to his father and that side of things, there is still the fact that he needs to grow up, as she told him. He needs to learn to respect his contemporaries, not run roughshod over everyone, and realize that he isn't a god. She's disciplining him in the youkai way. And while Sesshoumaru isn't completely at fault for his hurt at his father's seeming disdain of him, he isn't totally innocent, either. He's acting like a spoiled brat, taking things that were said by others and allowing those words to divide him from his father. That wasn't Touga's fault and in fact he tried to find out what was upsetting his son and pulling him away many times, and he refused to answer his father, and Sesshoumaru is also refusing to see how his own behavior is widening the gap between them. That is Satori's reason for being so angry at him, and why she told him to grow up. She loves her son, but she isn't about to be ruled by an angry boy who's basically throwing tantrums.
Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this insight into Sesshoumaru's character – I worked hard on this chapter, and I hope it pleases.
Amber
Edited 12/31/13
