Chapter 4
Your Hero
The white noise bugged him. Deep within the recess of his mind, a struggling craze had ebbed away and retreated to the voidness. His breaths came easier and the tranquility brought by the wind that caressed his face pulled him deeper to sleep. Sound of laughs accompanied by the screech of a closed door erupted from the room and he wanted to tell whoever it was to fuck off and let him have his peace for once. A cool hand gripped his shoulder and another warm hand took his weak, jelly-like arm. That hand brought his arm to a... cheek? He felt someone brought his knuckles to their lips.
Brown eyes opened blearily. Shinjiro came to reality surrounded by his teammates, they cheered at him and Akihiko supported him to sit up. Miki's wet eyes scanned him. His fondness for the sister-like figure found his hand atop her head as Shinjiro brushed a stray silver hair to the back of her ear. Shinjiro glanced up, quite surprised that everyone was there. Junpei whooped to his bed, "You da man, Shinjiro-senpai! Your Persona was cool!"
Yukari sighed, " We were so close, huh. You saved us all, Shinjiro-san." She bowed slightly. "The seniors told us about your, uh... condition." She mumbled embarassedly. Minato continued for her, his hands securely hidden in his pockets, "I'm sorry that our situation pushed you to do that... But there's no point in apologizing again," His eyes gleamed, a curiously darker epitome of determination. "We have to train harder to catch up with Hector, right?"
"Ugh, dude. Please don't say 'train' from now on. I still get the chill just from hearing that word," Junpei groaned. The party would have difficulty to ride a train from now on, apparently. Mitsuru approached Shinjiro's bed. He sat still, waiting for something. A few seconds passed with an awkward silence.
"What? Not gonna hit me?" Shinjiro said harshly. A flash of hurt passed in Mitsuru's eyes and he quickly regretted it. He remembered the night when a 15 years old Mitsuru returned with dark bags under her eyes and unruly scarlet hair, the third night after his... failure and Hector's attempt to claim his life. The girl returned with pills she called Suppressant. He didn't say anything about the cuts and soots on her face and hands. They were proofs enough. He didn't want to say sorry. He didn't want to admit that his own destruction is near.
Even to himself.
Mitsuru opened her mouth, "No, I believe that confisticating your Evoker and ban you from SEES' activity for unmeasured time would be a more satisfactory punishment," she smiled bitterly. Both of them knew that it was the final straw, a point where they couldn't go back. Either Shinjiro couldn't control Hector anymore and die first or the resources of Kirijo had reached its limit and couldn't continue the Suppressant research anymore. It was a matter of time.
"...From now on, I formally place you as an inactive member of SEES again, Shinjiro" Mitsuru said quietly and he nodded in understanding. "Heh, sucks to be you, Shinji." Akihiko snarled mockingly, the recuperating patient glared holes at him. "Welcome to the injury list," Akhiko saluted with his still-healing armand suddenly Shinjiro wouldn't mind to throttle his best friend to see if he could still fight back with one good arm.
A nurse injected Shinjiro with a shot of pain killer, after which he was knocked out peacefully. The group was going to left him to rest. "Miki, let's go back," Akhiko called out to his sister who have yet to leave Shinjiro's side. Miki glanced to the team, an understanding expression passed through her marred face. Miki shook her head and she wrote quickly on he notepad. After she finished, she stood up to give her notepad to Akihiko.
"I'm staying behind. Someone have to tell the nurse if Shinji-san wakes up." The first line said. "There's something that SEES alone should talk about, right? I understand." Akhiko's eyes widen. His eyes left the note to wander at his sister. Two pairs of scarlet eyes met and Miki grasped the sides of her skirt, longer skirt than the usual school standard that hides her burnt thighs.
I'm not a part of your group, was left unsaid.
Akihiko's eyes sadden as he took a careful look at his sister's form. All of her shirt collars was modified into higher collars that still left some space for her air-sensitive neck. It gets itchy if the collar was too tight and the scars would redden. There were nights where he –and sometimes Shinji- held his crying sister as she grasped her redden neck a few days before her yearly treatment. If, somehow, he could end Miki's suffering... If there's another future where he was the one who was trapped in that fire, not his sister...
-He would do anything.
Akihiko couldn't bear the thought if one of the possible futures was where he was too cowardly to save Miki, where he drowned in his own guilt. Akihiko shook his head twice and he looked back to find his teammates waiting at the door. He patted his only family on her head.
"Okay, be safe. If you want to go home, message me so I can pick you up." Miki was ready to write more, probably to argue with the idea. "Don't argue with me, you know it's dangerous." Miki sighed and gave him a thumb up. He laughed at the mock retort and kissed Miki's forehead. He glanced at Shinjiro's sleping form one last time before he jogged to his teammates' side. "Lock the door! Don't forget to eat and don't wander alone at the hospital! Don't talk to strang—Ouch! Mitsuru! Don't pull my ears!"
"Noisy, you're interrupting another patients."
"Hey! It's normal to care about one's sister!"
"You're a siscon, Senpai"
"Minato! You traitor!" and their voices were gone gradually along with their footsteps.
Miki gigled. Finally, some peace. She skipped back at Shinjiro's bed, his breathing was normal. She checked his vital points and found another injury on Shinjiro's ribs. She glanced back at Shinjiro's face. The guy was deep in slumber. She tested his reaction and poked at the injured rib. Shinjiro winced, but asleep. Good.
Miki outstretched one of her arms. It glows a faint red.
SEES gathered in the common room. Minato rounded around, giving each of them his homemade egg milkshakes. Earning moans of approval, he smiled and sat in one of the empty couches. "I've never heard of egg milkshake before, Arisato. But très bien. This is good. Where did you learn to make it?" Mitsuru commented as she placed her Sight Enhanncer on her lap, readjusting the equipment and checked the basic coverage. Minato casted his eyes away.
"Minako used to ate nothing besides eggs, so I learnt to make it."
That crazed laugh. Out of control. Rage. Wanting to delete everything. Unbidden malice.
"Minako? Eh, your name is Minato...Then are you two twins?!" Junpei asked as he refilled his share on the kitchen counter.
"Yep," the calm on his eyes returned. Junpei noticed something amiss and he blurted out, "Err, sorry dude. Must be something bad,"
"Hmm," He hummed and Minato promptly glanced at Mitsuru, urged her to start. Mitsuru stood up to place the Sight Enhancer on the Monitoring Console. "All concerns aside, what I want to discuss can be inferred about the Shadow that took control of the train. Mr. Chairman had confirmed from the battle data that Shadows seems to develop some kind of ability to form strategy. We must never be too overconfident in our power," she said grimly.
"Well, if it comes to that, we just have to be stronger, right?" Akihiko's eyes shone with glee but Mitsuru quickly interjected his hope. "Well, if you hope to join the front line again, you should heal first,"
Akhio sighed, "And here I hope that you'd stop reminding me of my injury," The juniors chuckled at his resigned voice and Mitsuru continued, "All in all, we have to prepare ourselves. Shinjiro would be reassigned as an inactive member again, so until he made complete recovery-" Mitsuru looked at Minato in the eyes.
"Minato, can you take over as a temporary Field Leader?" she considered seriously. Before Minato, their Field Leader was Shinjiro. Aside from his rashness, Shinjiro had a cool head on his shoulder. Akihiko was simply a training freak so he didn't care about leading. Junpei was nursing a hero complex so one failure and he's off. Yukari was a long-ranged fighter. Minato –by ignoring the fact that he's a junior and the SEES' newest members- was and is still her best option for a Field Leader position. Minato weighed his options and shrugged, "Anything the Router says." Junpei pouted, "Why don't you give me a chance to be a Field Leader, Mitsuru-senpai?"
" I will," Mitsuru took her rapier from its case and polished it with cedar oil and a soft cloth. "If you understand that being a Field leader means that you bear the responsibility of anything that happens in battle." She stopped for a while, "The next time we go to Tartarus, you can have a feel about being a Fied leader,"
Junpei nodded, his palm were sweaty. Minato scooted closer to him, "Don't worry dude, everything'll be fine. We can start at the first five floors if you want," Junpei wiped his forehead, "Well, thanks man."
"Okay then, is there anything else to talk about, Mitsuru-senpai? We still have to prepare for the exam," Yukari was prepared to stand up. "Shit, exam! I forgot!" Junpei scrambled in his couch and took off quickly. "W-what was that? Don't tell me he's going to study," Yukari was perplexed. Minato smiled at Junpei's retreating back. He was probably off to make some cheats.
Minato was left alone with Mitsuru in the common room while everyone had left to their rooms. The latter was reading her book quietly, a black-rimmed reading glasses was perched on her nose. Minato leaned on the couch while he sat cross-legged with a classic literature on his lap. "... The next day, I followed Sensei-" Minato read quietly under his breath when Mitsuru took off her reading glasses. "Natsume Souseki?" Mitsuru guessed. Minato looked up and nodded, "Japan's Oscar Wilde," and they left it at that. Mitsuru closed her book first, which prompted Minato to stop his reading.
"Actually, this is something I could only talk about to you as a fellow council member, Minato." Mitsuru sat straighter, her hands folded on her lap. "It's been a few days since Shinjiro is in the care of our hospital. There has been a rather turbulent change following his absence at school." Minato pondered about it, "Then, do you think that something changes because of the Head of Disciplinary Commitee's absence?" Minato uncrossed his legs, "It's true that the school's rules are protected by the Disciplinary Commitee... Do you have something on your mind?"
Mitsuru nodded as she worried her lower lip, "I suspected that bullying has started."
Minato groaned, "Immature, all of them". Mitsuru chuckled at him, "There's no denying in that statement, but I guess this matter can be addressed once we finish the exam. Is that alright?" Minato stood up and flexed his body, stretching his arms out. His joints popped, making Mitsuru wince at the sound. "Well, if it goes south we just have to take care of it, right? Good night, Senpai," he bowed slightly, earning a smile from the Council President and he went up to the stairs, a page from Kokoro in his hands was marked.
He stood on the third stair. Silently, he glanced back at Mitsuru's form who continued to read her book. Minato opened the marked page and put the upper half of the book to cover his mouth. He recited quietly, "Do you know, Minako? There is guilt in loving. And remember too that, in loving, there is something sacred,"
Author Note:
I guess everybody loves Shinji, huh? Thus, the title of this chapter mainly depicts the core of his sacrifice late in the game. I had my plans ready for this fic. It'll be exciting to write and see how my plans would unfold. Thanks for reading. Ah, I nearly forgot. The quote in the end of this chapter is sourced from Kokoro by Natsume Souseki. Kokoro has been ranked #1 in many sites concerning Japanese Novels and I personally likes that quote. Reader's knowledge of Kokoro beforehand is not needed in reading this fic.
