April was in a bad mood. Not only she had ran away from her first date attempt last night, but she had spent most of her day trying to get a reaction out of Jackson, unsuccessfully. It was childish, it was stupid, it was pointless. But she couldn't help herself. She wanted to see at least a bit of jealousy, just to know she wasn't the only one who hadn't move one. But there he was, being supportive. When he first said he wasn't sure they should talk about dating, her hopes got up for a split of a second. So she told him the truth. Even when she admitted her date had, in fact, not being amazing, but a total disaster, he went back to being supportive. Not exactly what April had in mind. She wasn't joking when she told him he probably already dated half the city, to not say fucked. She was jealous. And angry, even when she knew she shouldn't be. She should be supportive and wish he was happy, just like he was. And she did, she did wish he was happy, but that didn't stop her from being jealous and hurt.

He was watching the game, eating nachos. A very nice looking nachos, actually. If he wasn't going to be jealous, at least he could share some nachos.

When the guy from last night texted her, she saw a new opportunity, so she decided to express it outloud. Jackson took her phone away. She cheered a bit when Jackson made fun of the guy's picture, until he said he looked respectable and she should go on the date. Even when she said she didn't look well enough for a date, he insisted. It was bittersweet hearing him say she looked terrific. This was not what she wanted. What did she expect? Jackson telling her she shouldn't date other people, kiss her softly and tell her he wanted to remarry? Sure, any minute now. She had to stop dreaming.

Did he actually wanted her to date other people? Was this his way of saying "move one"? Maybe she should actually try this. Stop expecting Jackson to take her back. She should try to move on wholehearted. She couldn't spend the rest of her life trying to make Jackson change his mind, didn't she understand that was pointless when she signed the divorce papers?


Jackson looked at his nachos, no longer hungry. He felt sick. He was angry, hurt and frustrated. How long would he be able to do this. Being "supportive" and nice. He didn't want April to go on dates, he wanted to kiss her and hold her. He wanted her to be his. But that would be selfish and cruel.

In the back of his head, he could hear Sloan's voice, telling him the words Jackson had hold dear for so long. He had heard them the day of April's wedding and he had acted upon it. And it things had indeed burned down to the ground. He didn't regretted it, he really didn't. And now he had a daughter because of it, but he also had a dead son, more suffering that he thought he could survive and a divorce. He couldn't tell April he loved her now. She had told him that so many times before the divorce, begging him not to go through it, and he didn't listen. He turned his back on April, as he felt she did when she left to Jordan. He had thought the divorce was what he needed, that there was no way of fixing them. How selfish he would be if, after all they went through, he told April that he loved her and wanted to start again. Specially now, that she seemed to have moved on. He couldn't do that to her. Not again, no matter how painful it was. He had to move on.


Author note: So yeah… As you can see, I'll stick to canon for now, on my own way. I was really angry after last Grey's episode. Mainly because they are backstabbing Webber, but also because Jackson and April are idiots. Don't get me wrong, I didn't completely hated what the writers did, but I'm sensing some Slexie vibe and I'm afraid. I hope they stop being idiots on the show and get back together, in the meantime I'll stick with canon for now, but I'll change it at some point if it doesn't go the way I'm hoping. Also, updating will be on the weekends.