I am definitely not someone with any ownership over Merlin masquerading as a teenager writing fanfiction... That would be crazy...
1500 years ago...
Gwen sat at the round table, slowly flipping through one of many stacks of paper spread before her. A meeting had just ended, but she stayed behind alone, finishing up. As she turned a page and ran her quill down the new one, scanning it, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She didn't look up, but kept her eyes on the page as she spoke.
"Just a minute, I need to finish up here."
"I can wait."
Gwen's head jerked up at the voice, and her eyes fell on a familiar face, "Merlin."
"Hello Gwen. It's nice to see you."
"You too, when did you get back? Here, have a seat. How have you been?"
Merlin took the seat next to her, "I'm alright. I got here last night, I stayed with Gaius and slept late. I would have visited when I got here, but Gaius says you've been having trouble sleeping."
Gwen waved her hand dismissively, "I'm fine."
"Gwen, really."
"Really, don't worry about me."
Gwen knew she looked tired, and Merlin didn't look much better. His eyes were sad and he looked thin, even for him. In the six months since the battle at Camlann his face had grown hard. It looked like he hadn't smiled once since that day. Gwen took in all this during the pause before Merlin's answer.
Finally he sighed, "Fine. You're queen of a whole country now. How's that been?"
Gwen gestured toward the papers on the table, "Very busy to say the least. There's so much to do. Reconciling old disputes, standardizing laws... And that's just the start of it."
"You're doing a great job. I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, I could have...helped."
"That's fine. It would have been nice having you here, but from what Gaius has said you've already helped quite a bit."
Merlin bit his lip, "So...he told you then. I guessed when I heard you'd made magic legal, but I didn't want to say in my letters. Just in case... It seemed something for when I came back."
"I'd have told you I knew if I thought my replies would reach you, you're not easy to keep track of."
"Well, I'm back now. Anything you'd like to ask?"
"I'm still not sure how you kept it secret for so long. Morgana barely could, and you have more magic than she ever did."
Merlin shook his head, "It wasn't easy. But I did my best to do good with it. I - I saved his life, you know. More times than I can count," his voice faltered.
Gwen's throat clenched at the mention of Arthur, "And you never got any thanks, Gaius told me. I can't say how much that means to me. How much it would have meant to...him."
"I know. I told him, after the battle. Thank you."
"Don't thank me, you have more than earned my gratitude."
Merlin nodded slowly. A tight silence filled the room. He stood up, "You probably need to work. I'll go catch up with the others...leave you alone."
"Yes, thank you. You'll dine with me, though? Tonight. I want to talk more, about everything."
"Alright. See you tonight."
As he left, Gwen returned to her work, tears blurring her eyes. A few minutes later she pushed the papers away and, leaving them on the table, left the room.
...
That evening, Gwen and Merlin sat down together at the table in her chambers. There was a knot in Merlin's throat as he looked around the familiar room. For a minute or two there was silence as the two of them picked at their plates. It was Gwen who spoke first.
"What did you do while you were away?"
"You've heard most of the good bits. I spent some time back home, then wandered around a while. I just needed time to myself."
"I can understand." Gwen looked down at her plate. "Why did you decide to come back?"
"I wanted to come back at some point, I knew that I could be helpful here," he paused, looking hesitant, "But there's also been something happening in Albion. It felt like there was more magic everywhere I went, it was palpable. I wanted to talk to Gaius about it, and look at the books in the library."
"What do you think it is?"
"No idea. We still need to look into it."
Gwen nodded again and looked down.
Merlin ate a few bites then asked, "How's it been here?"
"It hasn't been easy. I've had to work so hard forging this peace, I've had little time to myself."
"But you've had help, the knights, Gaius."
"They do their best, but it's not the same. None of them were as close to...to him. You knew him best I think, even if he wouldn't admit it."
"I don't think he even realized half the time." A barely visible smile twitched on Merlin's lips.
Gwen's face lifted a little too, "No, probably not. But he had a good heart, beneath it all, and he really cared about being a good king."
Merlin looked at her earnestly, "He was one. And because of you everyone's going to remember that, Albion's being built in his name."
"It should be in yours too."
Merlin looked at his food. He opened his mouth and closed it.
"You won't take any credit, will you?"
Merlin smiled ruefully, "Who ever remembers the serving boy?"
Another pause welled between them. They returned their focus to the mostly full plates on the table. Merlin slowly began to eat, chewing each mouthful laboriously. Gwen pushed her food around, nibbling at bits, but leaving it largely untouched. After a while, Merlin swallowed and spoke up.
"I'll be staying around for good, not just to figure out what's happening."
A genuine smile spread across Gwen's face, "That's wonderful. You can have a seat at the Round Table, if you'd like. Your insight would be most valuable."
"I'd be glad to help. It'll be nice to be back in Camelot."
"Great." She took a small sip from her goblet then asked, "How did the knights take to your return?"
"As you'd expect," Merlin almost grinned, "But they seemed a little wary. Less talkative. I think they need time to get used to the fact I have magic."
"You're still the same person, I'm sure things will be fine."
Merlin nodded, but he didn't look convinced. He poked at his plate a bit before asking himself, "I can't believe Percival's growing that little beard."
A hint of a smile played on Gwen's face, "I know! He started about a month ago, I'm not sure it suits him."
"They finished rest of their meal, catching up and talking about old adventures. The conversation smoothed over the aching knot in Merlin's stomach, and he found himself smiling, ever so slightly. Gwen felt better too, though thin, piercing pangs still shot through her heart. When Gwen summoned servants to take the plates away Merlin's was clear, but Gwen's was still more than half filled. Merlin didn't say anything, but made a note to tell Gaius about it later. Slowly he stood up, nodding at Gwen.
"Thanks for the meal. I'm glad we were able to talk, I've missed being here."
"Yes, thank you for the company and conversation."
Merlin walked to the door, but turned around before leaving, "It'll get better, Gwen. One day the whole world will know how much you and Arthur have done for Albion. And for magic."
Thank you for reading. Reviews of any kind are welcome.
