Hello! I'm back after a month of rest and break from writing. So the next couple of updates are going to be a bridge between Seasons 2 and 3 of Angel specifically. Not much of the Sunnydale gang, well except maybe for Giles.
This chapters deals with Buffy's death on both our dear gangs, specifically our watchers.
As always, feedback is welcome!
16. Original Episode "Calm Before the Storm"
How's Rupert?" asked Wesley as they all gathered in the lobby and Willow narrated what had transpired in Sunnydale while they were in Pylea.
"I don't really know," began Willow, her voice sad. "He's been making sure that Dawn is taken care off and that Social Services wouldn't get the idea that her guardian is dead."
Silence fell upon them afterwards.
Angel turned to Wesley. The Watcher was also eyeing the vampire and they came to a conclusion.
"We'll go to Sunnydale." said Angel. He turned to Cordelia. "Are you—?"
"Of course," said Cordelia, her tone not that of Queen C as Willow noticed. "We might have hated each other…but I considered her a friend."
"She considered you one as well," said Willow, smiling a little.
"Someone needs to keep watch," said Gunn. "Fred and I can handle that."
"No visions, no trouble, for sure," said Cordelia. "Just give me time to freshen up, guys."
"Alright," said Angel. "We'll take my car in an hour."
Wesley thought about his options and shook his head. "Willow and Cordy can ride with you, Angel. I might stay in Sunnydale for a little while. I'll just take my bike."
Angel studied Wesley but the Watcher just had that pleading look and Angel caved. "Alright. But we leave together."
Wesley nodded as Angel drove Cordelia back to her apartment to get a few things. Willow went to his office to call Sunnydale.
"You sure you'll be alright?" asked Wesley to Gunn and Fred.
"Yeah," said Gunn. "I'll check with Lorne in case. But if Cordelia doesn't get a vision, then things would be quiet."
"I supposed so," said Wesley. "They'll probably be back late tomorrow."
"And you?" asked Fred.
Wesley sighed. In all honesty, he didn't know. What he did know what his mentor needed him. He was going to stay in Sunnydale until he was sure Rupert would be alright.
"Hold the fort," said Wesley to Gunn, performing their handshake. "We'll be back."
Angel, Cordelia and Willow drove back to Sunnydale in silence. Angel kept looking at his rearview mirror to check on Wesley. Angel had made it perfectly clear that Wesley was not to overtake them which Cordelia happily agreed with. It was bad enough that Wesley was exhausted from the protection spell and the opening of portals and who knows what else happened to him while they were in Pylea. But now he was on his bike heading to Sunnydale which would be more or less two hour travel.
The drive was pretty much in silence. Nobody spoke about anything. Angel knew that if Wesley was with them, he would try to make conversation but Angel thought it was for the best that they remained quiet.
Willow had phoned Giles that they would be coming in an hour. They were to meet the Scooby Gang at the site where they had buried Buffy.
Angel didn't know if he was happy that they had already buried her or not. He wanted to see her face, one last time…but it was probably for the best that he would just be there to pay his respects, especially since Willow had mentioned that Spike was in Sunnydale.
When they had finally passed the sign welcoming them to Sunnydale, the first few rays of the sun broke through the horizon. Angel was a bit worried but he knew that whatever magic Wesley had placed on his car before they left would protect him from being turned into ashes. Angel had seen how powerful Wesley could be, and he had every faith in him. He just wished that Wesley had the same faith in himself.
Willow directed them to the site and Angel saw from the mirror that Wesley was still following them.
They finally arrived at the cemetery and Willow navigated them to the most secluded part of the lot. Angel saw Xander, Anya, Tala and Dawn waiting for them. Where was Giles?
Cordelia and Willow had gotten out of the car but Angel stayed put. The sun was already out and he didn't know how he could possibly move.
"I'll fix that," came Wesley's voice and Angel turned to him as Wesley stretched out a hand towards the sky and dark clouds started gathering. It was like a prelude to a storm and the sun was covered as though it was nearing night already. "It'll be like that for the entire day, though. I hope I don't increase activity."
"Things have been a little quiet, since…" Xander let the phrase hang as they all looked down, not voicing out what it was.
Willow motioned for them to follow her and they walked in a very secluded area with many trees. They reached a clearing and Willow motioned with her hand and the trees parted to reveal a gravestone. Once they had all gathered, the trees closed around them once again.
Angel and Cordelia could only stare at the grave marker in front of them. Cordelia didn't know what to say and Angel didn't know if he could bring himself to even say anything let alone do anything, especially in front of the others. It was Wesley that made the first move.
He kneeled in front of Buffy's headstone, a look of deep sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry we weren't here to help." It was barely a whisper but they all heard it.
Wesley stretched out his hand and a wreath of white flowers created itself in front of Buffy's tomb as well as flowers sprouted around them.
Dawn couldn't help but sob from where she was…it might have been her sister's grave but Wesley just made the place more special.
"Giles is?" asked Angel to Xander as they bought food for the rest. They had all returned to Buffy and Dawn's house. In all honesty, Angel felt exhausted. Maybe it was seeing the grave, or the wrestling with the idea that she was really gone. But in any case, he wasn't up to the long drive back to L.A. and he knew Cordelia felt the same way.
"At his house," said Xander. "He's been avoiding us. I'm pretty sure he's been drinking…and we're all scared to even call him."
Angel sighed. If he had lost someone he had loved…it was worse for Giles. He had lost a daughter.
"Are you guys heading back ASAP?" asked Xander as Angel made the turn back to the house.
"Cordelia and I might head back after an hour or so," said Angel. "Wesley has said he might stay for a couple of days."
"That's good," said Xander. "I may have treated Wesley badly before…but I'm glad he and Giles have built some kind of bromance between the two of them."
"Where's Spike?" asked Angel.
"Also sulking somewhere," said Xander. "We haven't seen him since we buried…"
They fell silent once again.
"She didn't want you guys to know," said Xander, after a couple more minutes. "What Wesley said back there…you shouldn't be apologizing. Buffy didn't want to involve you guys."
"We still weren't there for our friends," said Angel. "No matter what you say…we're going to feel like it. Wesley to Giles, Cordelia to you and Willow and me to-"
Angel stopped. He couldn't. He just couldn't say her name without that painful feeling coming inside him and consuming him whole. He couldn't do it.
"I always have this thought that she's going to barge through the doors of her house and call us all out for being all depressed when she was alive and well and kicking…" said Xander to the surprise of Angel. They were never friends, that fact was pretty clear to Angel as Xander made it so. They never saw things eye to eye and pretty much annoyed the crap from each other. I guess the loss of someone very dear to them can bridge even the most two distant lands.
"That's her alright." said Angel, still not able to say her name. "She's probably give us a lecture on being all stupid for not seeing what she had planned and we won't get mad because we're just so happy to see her there."
"Yeah…" replied Xander. "I don't know if this helps us or not…"
"It doesn't."
"We'll be heading back soon," said Angel to Wesley as they stood in the kitchen of the Summers' house. "What about you?"
Wesley sighed as he brought his mug to the sink. In all honesty, he didn't know. He knew that he needed to talk to Giles. But he was scared what he would see, what the older man would say or feel when Wesley got there.
"A couple of days, I think," said Wesley as he turned to Angel. He leaned back on the counter, arms steadying him at his side.
"What's wrong Wes?" asked Angel, knowing the man all too well by now.
"I don't know how to…" Wesley let the statement hang because he knew Angel would get the sense of it. "Up to now, I've always taken what Rupert said to heart…and it was always the right thing. What if I talk to him and I end up making things worse for him. I do have a reputation of messing things up. What if instead of helping Rupert, I end up hurting him more."
"Wesley," said Cordelia, coming inside the kitchen. "You know that is not true. You've always been the person to come in and save the day."
Wesley was silent. He didn't know how to express what he truly feared.
"You're scared he'd blame this on you."
It wasn't a question, as Xander and Willow entered the kitchen. Wesley looked up at them and sighed. Cordelia immediately went and stood in front of Wesley, putting her hands on his shoulder.
"Wesley Wyndam-Pyrce! This is not your fault!" hissed Cordelia in the least volume she mutter but still with enough strength to back up those words. "Why on earth would you even think that?"
"Buffy closed a portal, Cordelia." said Wesley, his voice low. "If we were here, I might have—"
"Buffy didn't want to evolve any of you," countered Willow. "She didn't want to put other people's lives in danger." The Angel team looked over to Willow. "Buffy wanted to call you Angel, and Giles wanted to call you Wesley but Buffy put her foot down. We weren't endangering your lives. We had no right to do that."
"But we could have helped," said Angel.
"And we could have prevented this," added Wesley.
"Giles almost died," said Xander and the trio all turned to him, shocked. "That's exactly why Buffy didn't want to call you. She couldn't handle the idea of getting you hurt. It was our problem to deal with."
"Does the phrase 'that's what friends are for' mean nothing to you?" asked Cordelia. "We may not like each other all that much Xander, but we would have dropped everything to help you deal with it."
"Enough," said Angel, his tone making it clear. "What happened has happened, there's nothing more we can do. We shouldn't be dwelling on what ifs but focusing on moving forward." He turned to Wesley. "If Giles wishes to blame you then fine, it's his idiotic way of dealing with his loss."
Wesley sighed. "I want to help him, Angel."
"We all do Wesley," said Angel. "But if anyone can convince him to stop grieving on his own and moving on, it's you."
Giles was drinking his…well he had lost track of how many glasses he had drunk ever since he had called the Council and informed them of what had happened, when he heard the motorcycle come up to his house.
Knowing all too well the familiar trace of magic, Giles wish he could teleport away but with his current state, he might just end up across the street…or her grave.
Giles shut his eyes. He was trying to forget, trying to not let that be part of main thoughts for the next couple of days. Was it too much to ask to just sit in his home and drink his sorrows away?
There was a knock on the door.
Apparently not, Giles thought as he got up and opened the door, not even acknowledging the person on the other side of it. Giles heard the person sigh and stepped inside, closed the door. The sound of a bag being dropped down was what got Giles to turn around.
Wesley stood there, his helmet in one hand and the other just dropping down an overnight bag on the floor. His expression neutral but one that reminded Giles of the first time he had met Wesley, the pompous representative of the Council.
"What the bloody hell are you thinking of doing?" snarled Giles, his words a bit slurred telling Wesley that the man has had one glasses too many.
"I'm not thinking, already doing it," said Wesley as he placed his helmet on top of his bag and hung his coat. Wesley saw the glass on the table and sat down on Giles' couch and took a drink himself. "You just going to stand there?"
Giles glared at the younger man. He went to the kitchen to get another glass and sat down beside Wesley.
The two Watchers drank in silence. Neither spoke nor recognized the other's presence. The interaction grew annoying for Giles and he stood and grumpily said that he was going to bed and did so, leaving Wesley on the couch.
Wesley sighed when he knew Giles was out of earshot and took out his phone.
"Progress?"
"None whatsoever," replied Wesley as he set his glass down on the coffee table. "It's worse than I initially thought."
"What can we do?" asked Willow. "I'm worried about him, Wes. We're all worried."
"I honestly don't know Willow," said Wesley as his eyes travelled to the spot he last saw Giles. "I don't know."
Angel had informed Wesley that he was leaving for a while. Like Giles, Angel needed to face his grief and decided to leave L.A. to be able to think straight, have some peace and quiet. Wesley agreed that it was for the best. He had asked Gunn to take care of things while he himself finished his business in Sunnydale.
The Scooby Gang decided to wait it out. Wesley spent the past two days in Giles' house. The two barely acknowledged each other's presence. One read books while the other just drank through his stock of beverages, shifting from scotch or something stronger and tea.
On the third day, the gang couldn't stand it and visited Giles but they didn't get much word from him. He didn't participate in any conversation and just gave one word answers when asked how he was. This annoyed Wesley and it took all of the younger man's self-restrain not to snap at the man in front of the teenagers.
As soon as the door closed however, Wesley glared at Giles.
"Don't expect me to apologize," said Giles. "All I want is to be left alone."
"Not when you're like this," said Wesley, his tone caught Giles of guard and the older man turned to see a very pissed off Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. Giles, annoyed but his reaction stood and faced him.
"Like what?" demanded Giles. "Like a man who had just lost someone very precious in his life? I have every right to mourn in peace Pryce. Why can't you get that through your inflated head and leave me be?!"
"Because you are a ticking time bomb Rupert," fired back Wesley, his voice barely a whisper but the intensity was there. "You don't have to be and yet you isolate yourself. You're ignoring the people who care about you and are wallowing in your own self-pity. Why? Because you need to say something and yet you don't have the courage to speak it."
Giles glared at him and Wesley returned the gesture in full force. "I am not doing this with you Wesley."
"Yes you are."
And they were suddenly in a different place. Giles turned and stopped.
He was standing right in front of Buffy's grave. Wesley standing just behind the gravestone. "You're conflicted over one fact Rupert. Just get it over with. Say what you really feel about her death."
Giles' anger came on full force and he grabbed Wesley by his lapels and pushed him towards the nearest tree. "Yes, I blame you! Is that what you want to hear Pryce? I blame you and Angel and your entire team or whatever you call yourself back in L.A. I blame you for going to whatever place Pylea was and not being here to help us. I blame you for not being another option to stop the breakdown of the barriers between dimensions." Giles shoved Wesley harder. "You're the one who has the power to close portals to different dimensions. You're the one who should have closed that damn thing instead of Buffy. You're the one—"
"Who should have died and not her," finished Wesley and Giles' anger immediately faded and he let go of Wesley and sank to his knees, sobbing. No it wasn't Wesley's fault…Giles knew that. But he was directing his anger at anyone else to counter what he was really feeling. The feeling that everything was his fault.
"I failed her," sobbed Giles as Wesley kneeled in front of his mentor. "I wasn't able to find another way. I wasn't able to save her. I let her die, Wesley. I just stood there and let her die. What kind of a Watcher am I?"
"Rupert," began Wesley, steadying the man as he cried. "Buffy made her own choice just as you've raised her. She knew what she was doing and didn't hesitate because that was how you've trained her…raised her to be. A hero, a savior." Wesley paused to let his words sink in. "She wouldn't want you blaming yourself for all this."
Giles risked a glance over his shoulder at Buffy's grave and slowly stood and walked towards it. Wesley staying behind ready to steady him in case.
Giles kneeled in front of the gravestone, tears falling from his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Buffy…I'm so sorry."
Wesley stayed with Giles for another day. The two Watchers talked, shared stories, particularly about their charges…specifically about Buffy. They laughed, mourned and helped each other get through the lost they had experienced.
"I'm sorry Wesley," said Giles as they shared another bottle together. "In all honesty, when I heard the message you gave me…I was relieved."
"Why?" asked Wesley.
"If you had been here," began Giles. "I don't think you would have stopped the breakdown of the barriers between dimensions without sacrificing your own life. And seeing as this was not the apocalypse you were supposed to stop, I don't dare think what the Council would have done to me or to Buffy if that had occurred."
Wesley thought over this came to a realization. "Maybe current events are pointing us somewhere, Rupert."
"What do you mean?" asked Giles.
"Well you said I wouldn't have been prepared for such a task, closing the bridges of the different dimensions," began Wesley. "And I just had my first experience of travelling to different dimensions recently…and now Buffy's death. Do you think that maybe…things are being set in motion?"
Giles understood what Wesley was saying. Maybe the powers who decided on these kinds of things were telling them point black that they should get a move on, to train for the apocalypse they were brought back for because…
"The apocalypse we are supposed to stop is nearing," said Giles and Wesley nodded.
"You saw first-hand what a catastrophic consequence opening dimensions could be and I just had my own experience with my powers," continued Wesley.
"They or whoever they or it are…they are showing us something," said Giles. "We are ill-prepared for what is to come."
"But how can we truly be prepared for what is to come?" asked Wesley. "Would it be like that with Glory as well? A thing wanting to return to his or her or its original dimension by merging it with our own and I have to close the portal or stop it from even opening? Is that the apocalypse we are going to face?"
"I highly doubt there will be a repeat performance," said Giles. "It's not like you are a key yourself. You're a sorcerer, Wesley. An incredibly powerful one who happens to have the power to open and close portals to different dimensions."
"I'm not just a key you mean," said Wesley. He eyed the books in Giles' living room. Giles following his gaze.
"When in doubt…" said Giles as he stood and grabbed a book. Wesley following suit. It was time to get some research done.
