We sat at an open table and waited for others to arrive as I continued to explain what I had did and writing it down in neat notes for him to keep so he could understand before the test in a week.
Shortly after the bell rang, the cafeteria was getting filled with the students. The rowdy atmosphere was odd to me. I was so used to silence and everything being neat and tidy around my manor of a home. Though after my mother had died my home became more of a prison than a home. This felt like being let out of jail after fifty years on parole and experiencing life for the first time since then.
There was a table near Natsu and I that was filled with people that I was certain were either really drunk or really high because their topic of conversation made no sense to me at all. Someone had said something about being inside of a fetus and that made me turn my ear in another direction. I eyed Natsu to see if he heard it too, but he was busy looking over the notes I had given him with an unreadable expression. I wondered if he was confused or not, but decided against asking. If he had a question, he'd ask later.
He was taken by surprise when a small girl with short white hair and blue eyes hugged him from behind. This was his friend and ex-girlfriend that he mentioned was really clingy, Lisanna. I looked at her with a smile as I tried to smite my inner jealousy. Something about the word friend got to me. I wanted to make friends, but I was afraid to let people know who I really was. Lisanna sat on the other side of Natsu and looked at me with a sweet smile, "You must be Lucy! I'm Lisanna. Natsu's description didn't do you any justice at all." The girl laughed, but I just wondered when and why Natsu was describing me to his friend.
I smiled at the girl, "Natsu's description of you didn't do much justice either. Nice to meet you, Lisanna." I smiled, but deep down there was a small feeling of a wall being built. Why I was putting up a defense I had no idea, but I knew it was going to hinder me after some time had past. My father said that I shouldn't fail him, but now it seemed like I was going to have to really reach for that.
I heard Lisanna laugh as Natsu grumbled, "It wasn't that bad. I'm not good with words, so for me those were both good descriptions." His complaints made me laugh as well. Natsu's eyes seemed to widen just a little bit as I chuckled and wiped tears coming from my eyes. I had laughed a little too hard. I looked a little shocked when Natsu spoke again, "Are you okay, Luigi?"
Although he meant well with his question, he was still using Luigi as my name. I nodded, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I just haven't laughed that hard in a long time." When was the last time I had laughed before today? It had to have been years. I looked at Natsu with a smile on my lips. I had to change the subject somehow and that's when Gray showed up. I had been saved from the confused look of the boy next to me, "Hey, Gray!" I smiled as he sat next to me with his straight up poker face, "What was that question you had for me?"
Gray's eye widened as he remembered his earlier question from homeroom, "Oh, right. I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me, Lucy." He said rubbing the back of his head. I trailed my eyes over him and turned away from Natsu who was glaring at the boy on the other side of me. I rolled my eyes, "I was going to ask you if you wanted to be the model for my art project. I need two so I asked Juvia to be the other."
I had a skeptical face. My eyes remained thoughtful and alive as I thought, "How much are you going to pay me?" I asked sarcastically, "Sure, just tell me when this is all going to go down so I can mentally prepare myself for the shouting of the words love rival over and over again." I smirked as I saw a bead of sweat dribble down Gray's cheek at my words. So, he knew about her craziness then. That was at least comforting, but why didn't he do anything about it. I eyed Lisanna to see if she knew, but she shrugged. 'Great, I get to spend my time with psycho and stripper.' I thought to myself. Then, I looked back at Gray, "Juvia's here." I said and watched him visibly tense up before he slouched and tried to seem distant again.
Natsu had turned to talk to Lisanna so that left me with my journal in my hand. I wrote to pass the time. I wrote about my day and how it was going okay. I guess this would be the journal of my thoughts. I had wrote about everything that had happened up until now. It went into greater detail than the letter I had wrote to my mother in homeroom before Natsu interrupted. The letter was still sitting in a folder in my backpack awaiting it's trip to my lonely house to be put in a crowded box. I finished up my little journal entry and put the notebook back in my bag. That's when I spaced out. Everyone had come to the table and didn't notice that something was up.
Even though I was spaced out I felt eyes on me from every direction. I put my head on the table and played around with my lunch that I had made myself to eat at school. Someone had pulled me from my thoughts. "... Okay?" I looked around and noticed the words came from Natsu's mouth, "Luigi, are you okay?" He repeated and I just gave him a dumb looking expression. I either wasn't comprehending the question or my mind just wasn't completely back yet. I was known in my house to space out and think a lot. I had a lot of time to think when I was alone, but now it would just be weird if my group of new friends noticed I had just spaced for no reason. I hadn't eaten anything either, so someone must've noticed something.
I looked at Natsu and once I had the mind to answer him I nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. I promise." I smiled at him, turning my head down to my lunch and started eating it. That was just the beginning of my problems for the day. As lunch went on I realized I was the only one not in a conversation with anyone. I was being the odd ball out until Gray turned to me and asked a question I didn't want to answer fully, "So, Lucy, what made you quit home shooling? Must be better than being around all these people you know nothing about."
I was a little shocked when the whole table went quiet at the question. Natsu, Lisanna, Erza, Jellal, Levy, Gajeel, Juvia, Gray, and a boy with orange colored hair that had been flirting with me earlier all turned their heads to look at me. It was clear that I hadn't expected to hear the question, "I... uh... I was tired of never being able to be around people. I never left my house much, so I didn't have any friends besides my tutor." I said unsure of how they would take the information, "I mean, it didn't bother me. I just wanted to experience the world a little bit more, you know?" I scratched my cheek.
There were nods coming from around the table and Lisanna spoke up, "I'm glad you get the chance to experience what you want to." I knew the words were meant to sound endearing, but my ears didn't hear it like that. My ears made it sound next to evil. I didn't know what else to really think at the moment besides the want to be away from her and Natsu.
I finished eating and then got up, "I'm... going to go to the library." I spoke softly and then ducked my head and walked out. Instead of going to the library I went to my locker. I didn't know why I felt so left out of the group. They were so welcoming and warm, but I knew as a person I didn't belong there and if I didn't get my work done things would go horribly wrong at home and with school. My father wanted me to keep up the work I'd been doing, but it felt like it was going to be hard with all the thoughts running through my head.
I walked into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall. I didn't want to be around people and the last thing I needed was to see Natsu near Lisanna again. They had dated prior to me getting there, but Lisanna had to cut it off when she had to move away for two years. The fact that she was back and was so friendly with him made me feel off, but what was worse was I was getting attention from all the guys I crossed in the school. Some kid named Loke seemed to hit on me every chance he got in the last few hours of the day. I didn't even realize I was shaking as someone entered the bathroom. I noticed her to be Levy.
"Luce? What's the matter? You look like you are going to cry." Levy was worried and I had to shake my head to get her to stop worrying. I put a smile on my face that was just as brilliant as when I had gotten to school that morning, knowing if I at least gave a smile I could get out of this easily.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just a little stressed out. I'm sure I'll get over it though. I always do." I chuckled hollowly. Everything sounded hollow to her. What was this deep-seated emotion that was filling me? Jealousy? There was no way I could be jealous over something I just got an idea of. I found myself laughing, "Maybe I am jealous of the fact that you guys all know each other and I'm just a stranger. It's hard to come from a home schooled safe place to a place with so many people that no each other. Then again that could be causing me to be stressed out." I sighed, "I was going to the library by the way. I just needed to get out of sight for a minute."
Levy seemed to understand my problem, "Yeah, I guess everyone has that issue. I didn't tell you this, but at some point I was home schooled, too." She laughed when my mouth dropped open, "Yeah, hard to believe. I had a huge book obcession and that's kind of where I got it from. I spent so much time reading and not enough time around people. When I came here it was a whole new world." She explained, "You'll realize that the people here don't care where you are from. We all treat each other like family."
I was having a little bit of an emotional time with her last statement. Family. What is a family? What does it feel like to actually have a father who cares about you and your health? As all the question ran through my head I sighed, "That sounds nice. I guess I just don't belong in that family scenario." I shrugged.
The bluenette seemed confused, but didn't question it because Lucy already had enough on her plate, "Mind if I go to the library with you. I told everyone I had a test to study for, but I really just want to read. They probably all realize that though. All the girl's seem to disappear one after the other anyways. Lisanna is the only one who ever stays. She likes to hang around her sister and brother."
I nodded, "She seems to like Natsu a lot. What happened between them? I know they broke up so she could move, but why did they not get back together when she got back?"
"My guess is that Natsu thinks of her more like... a sister than a girlfriend. I mean, there are only so many things that can go wrong right? Besides, they didn't even keep in touch when she moved. Natsu got busy with bugging Gray because he was hurt and scared. Then again everyone is after they break up. As far as I know they haven't even kissed, yet." Levy shrugged, "They only dated for three months."
The news shocked me. I thought of Natsu as the type of guy who would be fine after a break up, but clearly he still felt something towards her. I sighed, "Young love, am I right?" I joked, "I've never had a boyfriend, so the whole dating world is out of my league. I actually kind of find it funny, but I always wondered if your first kiss always felt the way it was written in books. I hope one day. Some time from now I'll be able to figure it out."
Levy nodded, "Same. I know like it seems like I have experience, but everything I've learned is in books. Gajeel is an idiot, so I don't really need to worry about the dating scene until he gets a clue."
I raised an eyebrow, "Wait you guys aren't together?" I asked as we left the bathroom and started our trip to the library. When Levy shook her head my eyes widened, "I can't believe it. Are all the guys here just clueless? Or is it just Natsu, Gray, Jellal, and Gajeel?"
"Just them, Loke seems to know what he wants. Cleavage." Levy chuckled, "He seemed pretty taken with you. I've been watching him flirt with you all day." I rolled my eyes at that comment, "Yeah, he goes overboard with the romantic crap."
The dark feeling in the pit of my stomach was slowly going away as Levy and I had entered the library chuckling like little school girls. The jealousy I was feeling was gone because I had made a friend. I felt like I could tell everything to Levy. She was the kind of girl I wanted to be. A total book nerd.
A/N:
Hey, sorry it took so long to get this out.
I've been lacking motivation.
Anyways, hope you enjoy this.
Tune in next time to figure out what happens in the library.
~StellarLucy
