Delia on the other hand was pacing up and down her room as if determined to wear out a thin trail in her wooden floor, she stared down at her own shoes has she walked. Her eyes were large as watery as she fought back the tears she would blame them on the smoke if anyone saw her. She didn't want to face the Nuns and was trying to leave the least amount of time between when she left her room and when she needed to leave for her shift in a desperate attempt to run out the door avoiding eye contact.
The smell of cigarettes lingered on her but she didn't mind it – she smelt like Patsy a she liked the warmth that made her feel. She had been completely ready for work for 20 minutes but still Delia didn't want to leave her room – she had tried to convince Patsy it was going to be okay but she wasn't sure. Did they have any proof? What did they really know?
There was a polite knock at the door as Delia was staring at herself blankly through the refection of the window
"Nurse Busby" It was sister Julienne – she knew she had to open the door and face her real life but she simply didn't want too. She didn't want to have to face the truth of what she and Patsy had been doing for months.
Slowly Delia opened the door "I was just on my way down Sister" Delia said trying to act surprised by the sister's appearance
"I just wandered if I could have a word with you before you headed to your shift" Sister Julienne's voice sounded firmer than it did with Patsy not that Delia knew every details of the events that went on between Patsy and the sister –Delia wasn't sure she wanted to know.
"It shan't take a minute" Sister Julienne continued
"My office?" She asked Delia in the way in which a school teacher would ask you if you were paying attention. The sister didn't want an answer but just wanted to check Delia was listening
"Yes, of course sister. Lead the way" Delia's wish accent was clearer and more obvious when she was nervous- at that moment you would have never known she had spent any time in longer, her accent was stronger than her mother's even during her best attempt to come off calm.
When they sat the office Delia sat with slightly less fear then Patsy – she had less riding on it than Patsy did. Patsy was sure she still had her job because sister had wanted to see her before she left- that to Delia implied she was still allowed to go. That one comment left her slightly more at ease.
"I assume Nurse Mount has made you aware of the accusations brought against you and her" She paused for a moment –Delia wasn't sure if she expected a reply but from the stern tone in her voice she decided silence was the safer option. Delia gave a quick nod then let Sister continue "While it may not be a criminal offence – what you were accused of doing is looked down upon and is a sin" Her voice was monotone but Delia tried to stay interested and not drift off into her own little bubble.
"I have informed the London Clinic of the situation" She paused for a moment like she had to prepare herself her what was going to say "As it's an ongoing investigation and there isn't any concrete evidence against you as well as Men's surgery being very under staff they have agreed to you let you keep your position" Sister Julienne sounded almost disappointed. Like she wanted Delia to lose her job
"Sister, this accusation is barbaric and insane" Delia said. She was a terrible liar but she knew she had to say something she had to protest her innocents. The words tumbled slowly and cautiously out of her mouth, each one wrapped in fear.
"Nurse, I understand what a rumor like this can do to someone, I feel I should also make you aware that the situation has been reported to the mother house, while you're not a midwife with us here you do live her, so you situation is up for discussion as well as Nurse Mounts" the words echoed from the room of her moth, spreading through Delia every bone. She couldn't lose this- if she lost this her mum would make her go back to Wales and she couldn't leave Patsy not after all they had been through.
"Sister I can assure you me and Patsy are just friends" Delia said calmer no then she was before. Being scared was past her now – she knew the truth she knew that she loved a ginger girls that rocked slacks and checked shirts. She didn't need to prove that to the nurse and she didn't need to lose her job over it – because she knew the truth.
As Delia turned to walk away tears streamed silently down her face, she didn't want to cry but she didn't want to lose it all- she didn't want to lose everything she loved.
