Chapter Fourteen

Empty dishes lay across a table, waiting for people who could never return.

The cushions were worse, threadbare and sagging. One bled stuffing from a dozen puncture wounds, scars from a breakdown long ago, when he'd taken a knife to something helpless and already lifeless.

"Is it true?" A stout woman pushed back her gold and silver-streaked hair. "Is he –?"

Her voice cracked, and a tall, bearded man drew her in a tight embrace.

"He's good as dead. All of them are." Sarah stepped into the circle of seven.

"He's not," snapped a twelve-year old girl. "I won't let them!"

"You can't do much," said her older brother. Fourteen, tall but skinny. His twin, a ghost of a girl, shook her head.

"Does that matter?" broke in the man in whose home they sat. "Shouldn't we try anyway?"

"Speak for yourself," said Sarah angrily. "Your older girl seduced my son and then abandoned him for these – these vile humans."

Peter Leonhardt stared at his palms, not half as cracked and calloused as his life. "They're all I have left. I don't even know if Annie's alive." He met Martha Braun's eyes. "So I'm damn for helping her friend."

"I'm not. Not if it will hurt my son," Sarah insisted, her voice rising. "You can't lose Reiner and Annie, but what about Zeke? If we help them, they'll kill my son!"

"Stop trying to atone," growled Martha.

"What?"

"We can't atone, Sarah," said Peter. "Martha and Lars gave up their eldest son to feed the rest, Gretchen gave up Marcel and lost him and now Nicholas, and I – I gave up my wife and one daughter to cement our safety amongst you people, and lost two in the end. We can't replace the abandonment Reiner felt, all the pressure I put on Annie or the loneliness on Saskia. You can't undo the beatings you gave your son for his father's sins."

Sarah's lips trembled. "I've served him faithfully ever since he succeeded Mercer. I've always believed in his ability to lead. And still it's not enough."

"It can't be enough. The past is dead," spat twelve-year-old Ingrid. "Get over yourself!"

"Ingrid!"

"What?!" She glared at her father. "This is our only chance to help Reiner. My brother, whom I don't even remember. You're not going to let this pass by. You can't. I'll do it myself if I have to."

"Calm down," said Lars. "No one's debating helping Reiner, only the consequences."

"I think, if Saskia could – could seduce one of them, perhaps they are willing not to kill us on the spot," said Peter.

"Is this the world you want, then? A world of those vile pests uncontained?" demanded Sarah.

"Can your son afford to do otherwise?" Peter struggled to his feet. "Grisha is dead, Sarah. There's no vengeance to be had."

She pressed a hand over her mouth.

"We chose horrible things for our children, but they've chosen something different. Aren't you proud of them? The least we can do is help them. Please." Peter offered her his hand. "You're the only shifter among us. We need you, Sarah. And you know better than anyone what Zeke is, what you helped make him into. But maybe – maybe it's time to let him change. And if we keep following him, he'll never change. Sarah. Please."


"Hitch!" Jean shook the unconscious girl. "Hitch!"

Hitch moaned and cracked her eyes open. "Jean…there's two of you."

"Who hurt you?!" cried Historia.

"Where's Annie?" Eren's face was red with rage.

"They … they took her."

"They?"

"A woman. Half her face was scarred; she looked like a beast… And two lumbering oafs…"

"Where?!" Levi was done with people kidnapping his soldiers and their comrades. Done. Ready-to-burn-them-with-nitric-acid done.

Especially scarred women.

"I don't know!" Hitch shrieked. "I don't know! I just let them take her!"

"No!" Eren grabbed her by the shoulders. "No, you didn't, or they wouldn't have hurt you."

"We don't blame you," Historia assured.

Hitch nodded.

"They can't have gone far, though farther than we can if they knew their way around." Hange looked to Levi. "I think it's worth searching."

"Jean, herd the titan children upstairs." Levi nodded. "This is a job for the adults."

"What?" Eren yelled.

"You know he's right. We're targets," snapped Ymir, tugging Eren along. "Historia, help me. He won't fight the queen."

"I will!"

"But – would you really, Eren?" Historia blinked to contain the tears filling her wide blue eyes. "Eren."

He paused. "Historia…"

Everyone was watching him – a wary Levi, an amused Hange, Hitch leaning against Jean, a scowling Ymir.

"Fine."


"You seem pensive," Hange commented as she and Levi ducked into the left tunnel.

Levi glanced at her. "Hange, we're missing an important soldier who may or may not side with us."

"'Hange, we're dealing with a serious task like we've had our entire lives,'" she mimicked. "You think I can't tell when you're abnormally upset?"

"Please don't compare me to your pets."

"Levi."

"Scuff marks!" Levi pointed at the wall.

"We don't know when they were made." Hange squinted. "But it's possible Annie fought them. Or dragged her feet. Her marks indicate she's intelligent."

"It's worth following." Levi paused. "We should be quiet. To listen for her."

"Maybe. After, then?" Hange's sad eyes were enough to melt the heart of even humanity's strongest.

He nodded.

But ten minutes later, Hange burst into giggles.

"What?" Levi hissed.

"N – never mind." She pointed ahead. "Marks end up ahead."

"There's a door." Levi darted forward and kicked. It flew open to reveal a sleeping city.

"Outside." Hange cursed. "I didn't even feel us moving upward."

"Well." Levi kicked the cobblestone. It hurt good. "I don't think we'll be able to track this phantom anymore. If we even were – why were you laughing?"

"Laughing?" Behind her glasses, Hange's eyes widened. "Levi, two months ago, would you ever have imagined us trying to save the abducted Female Titan?"

Levi hesitated. Petra, Oluo, Gunther, Eld … their faces still haunted him. "No, I wouldn't."

But she had giggled. "You're daft, Four-Eyes."

He adored it.

"Now, your turn." She planted her hands on her hips. "I'm waiting."

Levi's stomach curdled. "I remember…in the underground…"

Hange's smiled faded.

"A woman like her. Scars over half her face. From her husband. He threw boiling water on her." Levi sighed. "She had run away, and was one of our best customers. Farlan and Isabel and I's. We made the prices lower just for her."

"Do you think it's the same woman?"

"I don't know. I hope there aren't more scars out there."

"She must be desperate."

Levi's lips curled into a snarl. "Whoever is doing this, they're taking advantage of the most unfortunate."

"I can see it now – work for me, kidnap this kid, and see the sky for once."

Levi nodded.

"Hey." Hange's long, skinny fingers wrapped around his. "I know it's hard being reminded of your friends."

He opened his mouth to protest, but her glare interrupted him. Other than Erwin, Hange was the only person who wielded such power.

"I don't know what to say, other than I love you. I wish it were enough."

He nodded again, his fingers returning her squeeze.


Saskia's bones and heart ached with every step. But she had to play her part even if it killed her. "Thank you, Zeke."

"My best two soldiers are ruined." Zeke stared at the setting sun. "We'll have to kill them both."

"Bertolt only expressed care for his former comrades. He didn't betray us, technically," Saskia said. "No – no more than I have. Less than I, really."

Her voice…there was shame. Sorrow. Zeke dared to hope that her new emotions could be used for good. "Maybe Bertolt can live. Maybe … he can prove his loyalty by executing Reiner."

The mere thought made Saskia want to collapse. "I think that's reasonable. Sad – but perhaps necessary."

"Like this war." Zeke nodded. "I'll free Bertolt. Edwin can handle him, I think, until tomorrow. Tonight, we need to sleep."

"Good idea," Saskia said with a small smile.

He squeezed her hand and loped off to the prison cabin, leaving her pondering her own death.

She had one night to save Reiner. But if he tried to force Bertolt to kill his best friend, she knew she would give herself away. She'd end this charade to die with Erwin and the Survey Corps. Because at least then she could die free.

I understand all of you, she thought to Erwin. If only he could hear her.

He might hate her, and she wouldn't blame him. But still.

"Saskia."

She spun around to see her father standing there, his face haggard in the twilight, his eyes hollow. For a moment, she was a child again, huddling in a corner as he thrashed and screamed, as he kicked Annie, as he punched Mom.

Of course. He knew what she'd done. That she'd changed sides, betrayed the husband she'd only married after seducing. Saskia's lips trembled. "What do you want?"

"To help," he said simply.

She shook her head. "I don't think – you can't." I'm not on your side anymore.

"Saskia, I heard what happened." Her father's voice cracked, to her surprise. She dared to look into his face then.

Sorrow. Pain. No anger. "I know I've been a bad father, the worst, perhaps. But this, I swear, this is the only reason I opposed you and Zeke. And I'm – I'm glad you've found someone you love, even if the situation is impossible."

"Who said I love him?" she said harshly. No one could know. She had to seem falling back in love with Zeke.

"You've changed for the better," Dad said in a small voice.

"No – no." Saskia shook her head.

"We're going to get you all out of here."

"You're crazy." She didn't dare hope. He was trying to trap her, he had to be. This was Dad.

"Maybe. But Reiner's been staying with Gretchen since Nicholas was sacrificed. The soldier's brilliant. He found a way out."

So Reiner and Bertolt had had a plan. "A way to become titan food?"

"Not if the Brauns' kids bring the horses around just outside of camp."

"Someone would notice, you fool. You always were!" Saskia fumed. Unless –

"I know I've given you no reason to trust me, but Saskia, I'm not lying now. I promise on a worthless man's life. On your mother's –"

"Which you gave up."

"I know!" A tear trickled down Dad's leathery cheek. "I'm sorry. If that changes anything."

"It doesn't."

"But I am going to save your friends. This is something worth dying for. You and Annie – I should have protected you. You were worth dying for. You're my kids." Dad's face crumpled.

An idea blossomed in her mind, an idea to test Dad while seizing a possible opportunity. "I can distract Zeke."

Dad met her eyes. "I know."

"Good." She swallowed.

"But if you can find another way –"

She cut him off. "This is the best way."

"I believe you." Dad wiped his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Saskia."

"You'll need to move quickly." She brushed past him and made for Zeke's cabin. Her former home. To become someone new, perhaps she had to revisit her past.


Annie scowled at the thugs binding her to a chair. "Do you honestly think this will stop me?"

"No, but this might." Scars shoved a gag into her mouth. "We'll go now."

As the thugs filed out the door, one hulking man who could pass for a miniature titan himself hesitated.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before slipping out the door.

What does that change? she wanted to scream. You're just like me!

A rustling to her left stopped her ensuing laughter.

"Oh," said a girl about Annie's age, with olive skin and bold, clear features. "So he found someone else."

"Mmmph?"

"I'm Margot Sturm. He – he hates us nobles and he's designed all these machines to humiliate us. You'll be drinking your own shit as he skins you." Margot held out her arm, and Annie nearly gagged at the bare muscles.

No, it wasn't the gore that sickened her. She gagged at the idea that humans could do this to each other.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to scare you," Margot said, nibbling on her golden-brown hair. "I just – the man who was here before me warned me and it helped. His name was Lionel Vicar, remember that. Because if you're here, I'm good as dead, so please, if you get out, remember my name, please?"

Her voice cracked. This pampered noble had the same desperate, hellstruck eyes as a Warrior or soldier. Humans, we're all fucking humans.

"I don't want to die," sobbed Margot, grabbing Annie's fingers. "Lionel told me the name of the man before him and I can't even remember it because I'm shit. Don't be me. You have to remember his, and mine, and get out of this. Please."

Annie shook her head.

"No?" exploded Margot. "W-wait. You're not wearing noble gear. Are you a soldier?"

Annie snorted.

"Here, I'll take this out." Margot yanked the gag from Annie's mouth. "I'll have to put it back in – he'll lock you up 'til you're broken, then you get free like me. But there's not much good that will do. We're dozens of meters underground."

She hiccupped. "I'm so relieved to talk to someone."

"Even if it means you die?"

Margot hugged her arms around herself. "I think so."

"Is Zackly the man you speak of?"

"I – uh – I don't know. He never wears any gear to make me think military, but my father never let me attend anything military related, so how would I know?" She wiped her eyes. "White beard, heavyset, glasses."

"That might be him." Annie shook her head. Their suspicions were right, and yet the wrong people were going to suffer. And she was too far underground to transform. Brilliant, Commander Asshole.

Fuck this.

"Margot, if it makes you feel any better, I'm even worse than a noble. I'm the female titan."


With Zeke still off tormenting Bertolt, Saskia brushed her wild hair until it fell around her shoulders. She ripped off the leather jacket that smelled like Erwin, peeled off her pants and white collared shirt, and threw them in the fireplace.

Her favorite dress remained in her trunk, corseted yet red as sin. The white blouse she wore underneath was as low cut as she could manage.

She looked every bit a warrior, but she had never felt less like one. And now there was nothing to do but sit on the bed and wait.

When the door opened, Saskia leapt to her feet. "Did he agree?"

Zeke seemed perturbed by her appearance. "After sniveling about for a bit, yes. Though I worry he won't follow through. That would be quite the tragedy, losing two warriors to cowardice."

"Indeed."

Amusement crept into her husband's voice. "Is there a reason you're burning your Walled gear?"

"I'm sure you can guess." Saskia blinked back tears. "I can't…being here reminds me of everything we've gone through. I want to change."

"But you haven't yet," he said dryly.

"I wish I could instantly. But no," she admitted, sealing the lie with truth.

"Let me help you," Zeke said. To her surprise, there was no lust in his voice, just compassion.

Oh, Zeke, if only you could see the truth, she thought unexpectedly. It wasn't fair that he would never join the walls, see what she'd seen.

"How?"

"Whatever you need." He drew her close to him. "I'm glad I didn't kill you."

She chuckled. "Me too."

"I suppose you are." He snickered, pushing her out to arms' length. "You don't hold it against me?"

"No," she said honestly.

"Thank you." He looked lost, vulnerable, sweet. For a moment, she wondered if she shouldn't stay with him, be his good little wife.

She leant her forehead against his chest, catching him in a tranquil embrace. Once she started, there was no return.

A blast of determination erupted within Saskia. She nuzzled his breast, moved her fingers down his spin.

"What are you –?" Zeke drew back, looked at her shy eyes, and made his decision.

He kissed her forehead, then moved to her mouth.

"So that's – why you changed – into that dress," he muttered between kisses.

"Not all the reason," she replied, blushing, as he swept her off her feet.

"Hmm." Zeke lowered her onto their bed, himself on top of her.

"Saskia," he moaned as she ran her hand down his thighs. "I think you might have to take off that lovely outfit."

The next hour was a blur of his body inside her, wrapped around her, his teeth on her breasts and his sweat on her face.

As his pants finally slowed into deep, even breaths, Saskia closed her eyes. All she had to do was wait.


"Well, that's that." Darius Zackly threw a newspaper down on Nile's desk.

He jumped. "Sir!"

Enemy Titan Shifter Loose in Capital

Nile scoffed. "Is this a joke?"

"You saw who they had." Zackly clenched a fist. "The people deserve the Colossal's blood. The Survey Corps brought him here, and now it seems they lost him."

"Why weren't my MP's informed Erwin was bringing him here?"

"Maybe if your MP's were fit soldiers, you would have known," Darius shot back. "The Capital's in chaos. Rioters are headed our way. People don't trust us."

"But – Erwin would not be this stupid." Nile paused. "Would he?"

"I don't know. I just know you tried to arrest him and failed. As MP's always do."

"What?"

Darius aimed a gun at Nile. "Your reign as commander is over."


Reiner was sweating at a rate competitive with Bertolt. Was Zeke torturing him? Had he killed Bert already? No, not yet.

Sasha was cradling an unconscious Mikasa; Connie, Armin. If Zeke came back, they would put their hands back into their bound position, but for now, their friends were hurting.

I wish I had bread to give her, Sasha thought.

"That wasn't the first time he's done that to you, was it?" Erwin looked at Reiner.

"No – not at all."

"Oh come off it. You acted like a cowed animal the second he found you," Sasha snapped.

"I – no, he didn't." Reiner stared at the splintered floorboards. He didn't deserve any pity. His breath caught.

"Stop lying. We used to be friends," Connie insisted. "We were all going to be friends again, remember?"

Reiner's jaw slackened. "What happened to Mikasa?"

"Sweet fucking walls," Connie breathed.

"She helped save you," Erwin told him.

"Why?" Reiner frowned. Something felt strange about this. He felt his comrade's eyes on him, felt their judgment. "What are you all looking at?!"

"Your friends are concerned for you," Erwin said.

"They're not my friends. They can't be."

Mikasa stirred. "A little gratitude, Reiner."

"Ackerman!"

"Commander." She sat up. "Sasha. Armin!"

"He's asleep. Titan shifting is hard," Connie told her.

"He's … a titan shifter. Like Eren. Armin." Mikasa reached an arm over to run a hand through his hair.

"With a better temper," Reiner said ironically.

She glared at him, but footsteps cut through the silence before she could speak.

"Hurry," Reiner urged Sasha and Connie as they wrapped rope around their wrists again.

"Ackerman, close your eyes," Erwin added. To his relief, she obeyed immediately.

An older man with thinning blond hair opened the door. He glanced behind himself once before stepping in and softly closing the door.

"Who are you?" Erwin demanded.

His eyes softened at Reiner, at the Wings of Freedom on their jackets. "You don't know me, but you know my daughters."

Erwin paled. "Mr. Leonhart."

"I am." Peter eyed this surprisingly attractive commander. Tall, crippled, imposing. Haunted eyes that Zeke never had. "And I'm saving all of you."

"That's what I tried," Reiner protested. "You can't."

"I can, with help. Best you don't know who." Peter planted a hand on Reiner's shoulder, as if he were Reiner's father.

Erwin recognized the hunger in the eyes of the Armored Titan, this traitor, this child.

"Boy, they'll make Bertolt kill you tomorrow otherwise."

Reiner started. Bertolt – he wouldn't, would he? I'd make him do it, lest Zeke kill him too.

"I believe your crafty genius has begun carving out a tunnel from the library."

"You have talked to Bertl!"

"Shut up, Braun." Peter stopped himself. "I mean, now is not the time, okay? But I commend your passion."

Mikasa reached over to squeeze Armin's shoulder. You brilliant boy.

"I doubt he has the strength to shift again." Reiner nodded towards Armin.

"You won't need to." Peter couldn't say more. "I promise. Just – someone –" He spun around to look at the room. "If you see Annie, tell her I love her."

"You have my word," Erwin said. Do you love Saskia, too?

Peter nodded, his eyes weighed down by mistakes. "Most of the shifters are guarding Bertolt tonight. While Saskia has Zeke distracted, I'll smuggle you out, three at a time at most, to the library."

Erwin brightened. So she was helping them after all!

"Sir, you could die." Reiner knew how much Annie's father prioritized survival.

"So?" Peter shrugged. "Braun, you're in the first group. Carry the shifter."

"I'm in the last group," Erwin demanded.

Peter regarded the commander. He had no ideals about just how his daughter was distracting the War Chief, and clearly Erwin didn't, either. But hope still burned in his eyes. "I see."

Armin awoke to earth filling his nose. "What?".

"Shh." Sasha brushed the dirt off him. "We're almost out." She pointed up ahead, where Mikasa, Reiner, and some strange man were clawing through dirt.

"My tunnel."

"Your tunnel," Erwin said, sitting besides Armin, a torch in his hand. He was relieved to see the young soldier awake – relieved that he had no more time to agonize that his one-armed state rendered him unfit to help, no more time to mourn whatever Saskia had chosen to save them.

He might not see her again. And he wished – he wished she knew how he felt.

"Commander."

"Why didn't you tell us? We're your friends, too." Connie climbed over to them.

"I had to – I had to eat someone." Armin gagged. "And I don't even remember doing it. I don't remember their face. I hate myself."

"Do you hate Eren?" Erwin passed the torch to Sasha and pulled Armin to a sitting position. "Or me?"

"You?"

Ah. Erwin swallowed. "The serum we had. I wouldn't have survived Shinagashina without it. And then Dr. Jaeger's serum saved me from being a mindless titan." Erwin didn't know why, but for once he felt like spilling the words he yearned for someone to tell him. "You're not alone, Arlert."

"Neither are you, then," Flocke said shyly, scrambling backwards as the strange man stood in the tunnel.

That man … resembled Saskia, Armin thought, but not so much Annie. Their father, perhaps?

The man aimed a kick for the earth above them.

Definitely Mr. Leonhart. The ceiling rained dirt upon them.

Armin thrust his arms up and felt a cool night breeze. With a gasp, he saw the entire Survey Corps arise from the dirt, spitting and gasping for breath.

"Fifty meters straight ahead and you'll find the horses. Two people each; that's all we have, I'm afraid." Peter pointed through the woods.

Armin looked back – only a few trees and brambles protected them from the town. "Will we have enough of a head start?"

"We can't worry about that," said Erwin, shaking the smoldering remnants of the tortch. "We have to go. Now."

Mikasa cast herself upon Armin. "You ride with me. I'm recovering enough. Armin."

"Mi – Mikasa."

Peter hesitated. Saskia had to know she had to leave. Zeke would discover her, would kill her for certain.

But would that commander even take his daughter? He should have demanded. His heart hammered.

As the Survey Corps slipped through the trees, a faint whinny tickled Reiner's ears.

"Shhhhh," a child's voice growled.

Mikasa's body tensed.

"We're holding the horses for you," whispered a boy from the middle of a dozen horses.

"Thank you…" Sasha said quickly.

A stocky blond child barreled from behind the trees and nearly tackled Reiner.

"Ugh – what?" He couldn't believe he'd almost fallen, almost given them away.

"Ingrid, stop! We aren't supposed to," said a skinny girl, Mikasa's height and only a few years younger.

"I don't care; I love him!" The child buried her face in Reiner's chest. "I've missed him."

"Ingrid?" Reiner shook. "No…"

"It's me." The girl wiped her eyes and squeezed him even tighter. "You're my hero and I've missed you every day and even though Vera says I have to forgive them, I won't. I can't! I miss you."

"Ingrid!" hissed Vera.

"She's just scared. She's missed you, too. We all have," said Armand, stepping forward to hand a pair of reins to Sasha. "That's why we're helping."

"It's not enough," Vera said sullenly. "But it's all Mom and Dad could do now."

Reiner choked. "I don't – I don't understand." They remembered him? They loved him? "I'm not a hero."

"You are to me," Ingrid said fiercely. "I would have straight-up died or killed Zeke or Mom and Dad by now. You haven't. They told me not to upset you, but I know you won't want to come home, so I wanted to bring home to you, so here I am hugging you."

"Home." Reiner gripped his sister tightly. "I'm home."

He couldn't believe it. "Bertolt…"

"He's being guarded. But he'll try to find you, I'm sure. I have faith in him." Saskia stepped into the clearing. "He loves you too, Reiner."

Armand raised an eyebrow at her use of the term 'love.' "I'm sure his heart is breaking. You'll marry him when this is over." He patted Reiner's shoulder. "And I'll see you when this is over, brother."

"Goodbye," Vera whispered, unable to bear the word love.

"This isn't goodbye. I'll see you when we kick Zeke out and become friends with the Walled peoples," Ingrid said, giving Reiner one last squeeze.

Goodness, she was stronger than he was at her age. "Well, I love you too, Ingrid – Armand – Vera."

"Everyone on a horse. Reiner, go with Francois, he's the smallest."

Erwin turned to Saskia, to invite her to go with him, but she had already climbed on a horse with Ross Vorhees.

As they trotted away, as their trot turned to a canter and their canter to a gallop, Saskia fought tears. Erwin knew what she had become to help them, everyone did. Her hair was a mess, her gown stained, and there was a very telling bruise on her chest.

Was this what emotion did? Expose actions and feelings for the world to see, no matter how dark or shameful? She wanted to say she'd made a better statue than human, but she couldn't believe it. Not yet.

She hadn't even had the chance to see Dad again, to thank him…

But that childish part of her had revived with Erwin, and that part insisted her escape was enough for Dad.