Chapter Sixteen

Historia held her head high as she took a step towards the crowd. As she passed, Reiner beamed and Eren grinned, but Ymir's wink unlocked her courage.

She clasped her hands in front of her, and for a moment, she was Krista Lenz again and terrified. She was young Historia, empty and alone.

But no. Young Historia had Frieda, and Krista Lenz had Ymir.

"People," Historia cried out. "A century ago, someone decided we ought to be united. And since my ancestors couldn't unite us by love, they united us by fear. The terror of being dominated by savage titans."

"And yet! We've discovered a titan shifter who has saved us time and time again, and through the efforts of the Survey Corps, we've found at least four others on our side." She pointed behind her to Eren, Armin, Annie, Reiner, and Ymir, who gripped each other's hands as if their lives depended on it.

Eren's eyes filled with insecurity; Armin's shone terror and Annie's determination. Reiner's poured pure pain. Only Ymir's snapped with pride.

This is who I am, and I will not apologize.

Historia's heart hurt.

"And I can assure you that these five are our friends. Both titans and people. Perhaps the time has come when we realize titans are not our enemy! Someone out there wants us dead for what my ancestors did, stealing your memories! That someone is a human...and a titan." She drew a deep breath. "It's time you all knew: titans are people."

Behind her, Erwin dropped his eyes, unwilling to see their certain fury.

"What?!" shrieked an old man.

"They are people, and not inherently evil. Our very walls are composed of them." Historia pointed towards Wall Sina in the distance.

"Lies!"

"How can that be true?"

"Go to Stohess and you will see," Historia replied.

"Are we safe anywhere?" wailed a woman over the screaming babe in her arms.

"We are safe because the titans there are intelligent. They chose to protect us, to entomb themselves and sleep forever if need be," shouted Historia, hoping Saskia's history lessons were accurate. She hated the lie, but the weight of the unknown would kill her people.

"Titans are not evil. People are evil, and people are good. And people can change from good to evil, like Darius Zackley, or evil to good, like Saskia Leonhardt."

Levi noticed Erwin swallow hard at her name.

"You know her as the spouse of the human who seeks our demise, but she is not allied with him. So I have chosen to forgive her and not Darius Zackley, because she's changed for good and he for evil."

Historia screamed over the babble. "Today we must choose: to accept our new knowledge and unite for love of each other, or cower in fear behind walls build by those we have unjustly hated! It's not too late to choose love, my people! To choose courage! To look after each other's affairs like the Miltary Police, to protect like the Garrison, to seek out like the Survey Corps! I urge you all: choose love!"

She stepped back and gulped in air. With a bow towards her people, she and the titan shifters were escorted back inside the palace by the highest ranking officers in the military.

Excepting, of course, Nile Dok and Hange Zoe.


She had to die. She had to. Fuck.

Zeke felt exposed, violated, ruined. She'd played him for a fool and like an idiot, he'd fallen for it. He should never have liked a girl as smart as he.

Was there no end? He wanted to scream himself in two. Was there no end to betrayal, to despair, to death? The Walled kept prolonging their wretched state, causing both sides more pain, breeding more doomed lives.

First his father, then his mother, now his wife. His whole life was failure.

Zeke swallowed a scream that cut like razors. Bertolt.

He looked at the fidgety, sweating Colossal. His behavior wasn't abnormal, but perhaps he had more reasons to be anxious today?

"You." Zeke grabbed the boy and threw him back on the ground, in front of everyone.

Let them see what became of traitors.

No more compassion.

No more hesitation.

"Did you plot this?"

"N – no, I promise." Bertolt scrambled back as more villagers, both shifters and regular people, surrounded them. "You gave me another chance; I wouldn't go against you."

"Don't flatter me. We all know your feelings for Reiner," growled Zeke as Bertolt turned red. "Don't you remember at Shinagashina? 'Let's just end it,' you vowed. And look at you now. You've been a key feature in every failure."

So have I.

"M-maybe, but that doesn't make me a traitor." Sweat ran down his forehead. Bertolt needed to survive, needed to see Reiner again.

"Let's settle this." Zeke laughed. He seemed almost insane. Good! If this ended and him with it, fucking good! "My titan is the first one. I can take you down even in colossal form, unless you're too cowardly to fight? Reiner ain't here to take your place anymore, boy."

"War Chief," Edwin said uncomfortably.

Sarah said nothing, shadows of blood in her eyes.

"I – I can't fight you, sir." Not with Sarah watching. No mother should have to watch their son become a monster. Like his had, before he'd eaten her. Bertolt trembled. Please, someone help me.

"You can. You just won't." Zeke grabbed Bertolt and hoisted him to his feet. "I'm the Chief of Warriors, and I say you will fight. We will settle this and end everything, no matter what it takes. A Colossal is replaceable and superfluous once battle has started, anyway. I think you showed us that in Shinagashina, am I right?"

"I just –"

"You really decided to blame this child first?" Peter Leonhardt shoved his way into the center. "Please. Look at him. He's never had the constitution to form his own will."

Zeke's eyes widened. He might not be thinking clearly – his senses might be dulled – but he knew.

"But I do, and I did." Peter clenched his fists. "And I don't regret it. What you've done to the children of our tribe –"

"Without them, we'd have accomplished nothing!" seethed Zeke.

"You're sick. We're all sick. I released them, and I enjoyed saving my daughter and her companions. I won't regret it." Peter took a step closer.

"I see." Zeke nodded, and Bertolt gagged instinctively.

Then, with a sickening crunch, his foot crushed Peter's thigh.

"You want us all killed?" Edwin demanded.

"We deserve it!" yelled Peter.

Sarah saw straight though his plan, but she had no choice but to play along. No choice but to aid her son's damnation as she raked her fingernails across the face of her unlikely friend.

"You bastard!"

"Do you want those sinners to slaughter our children?" screamed another.

"You've confessed to treason. I think everyone will agree you are fit for titan food." Zeke nodded sadly. "I am very sorry that in the end, all Walled people were alike."

No, Bertolt wanted to shriek, but he stayed silent as more warriors joined the ritual, the ritual he'd only seen once before, as a child.

It has to be done as humans, Zeke had told him then.

We are the monsters, Bertolt realized. He wanted to lunge forward, grab Peter and flee. But what would that accomplish?

Last night Gretchen had told him "Sometimes, the most courageous action is accepting help."

Now he understood, even if he disagreed.

When Peter's broken, helpless body was sent out of the village, sent tumbling down the Ravine of Bones, Bertolt remained behind, watching titans crowd around his friend's father.

"You can look away, soldier," barked Zeke. "Don't think I trust you yet."

"I'd rather look," Bertolt replied, to Zeke's pleasure.

But though that seemed cruel to Zeke, in reality all Bertolt wanted was to ensure that Peter didn't die alone.

So he stayed watching until Marco's face blurred with Peter's, which blurred with emotion, until the end.


"Thank you for the escort, Commander Erwin." Marie's lips trembled. "Has he regained consciousness?"

For all her husband's temper and cruelty, Marie still possessed calm and compassion in abundance.

"Not yet," Erwin said with a sigh.

"When will he?" cried Lisel, gripping her mother's hand. Dasha looked at the ground; she hadn't looked up since they'd arrived in Mitras.

"We have a very skilled doctor treating him," Erwin said instead.

Marie rubbed her swollen stomach. "Is this it?"

"Yes." Erwin led her inside the hospital.

"Stay close, Dasha." Marie held her head high.

Their passionate nights and whimsical future had once been painful to recall, but now they were merely sweet shadows on his mind, and nothing more.

Outside his room, she stopped. "Erwin…take Dasha and Lisel, please? I hear the queen has plenty of children around…"

"Yes."

"No, Mommy, I want to see Daddy!" Lisel stomped her foot.

"Later. Mommy needs to see him first," said Marie with tears in her eyes. "Now, take Erwin's hand – sleeve – and be a good girl."

"Why doesn't he have a second hand," whispered Lisel.

"Because he doesn't," replied Dasha.

"Good luck," Erwin said to Marie.

"You might need it more," she said, forcing a smile onto her face.

Lisel peered up at Erwin. "I wanna know why you don't have a hand. Because it's creepy holding your sleeve."


"I think you'd have to add half the peroxide," said a newly freed Saskia, squinting at the fuming vial in Hange' hand. "Of course, that's for serum, and we're not making serum."

"Must be related, though," Reiner said, leaning against the wall.

"Obviously. It's still sensitive to amounts, though." Saskia bit her lip. How many serum vials had she learned to synthesize, ingredients to kill.

"We'll start with half, then increase if necessary. Now that we actually have the right ingredients." Hange capped the vial and shook it. "Okay, Reiner. Palm out."

Reiner dutifully held out his arm. Please, take away this burden. If not his life. He wouldn't mind that either.

"You're being very brave," Saskia said softly.

"It's the least I can do," he said, reddening with shame.

"Mikasa nearly died for you. You don't get to feel suicidal," Eren growled, slightly jealous that he was only needed to contain Reiner if anything went wrong. He hurried over to Reiner and superficially nicked his arm. A drop of blood splattered on the floor.

"I think Reiner's entitled to feel however he wants," remarked Hange, inserting a syringe into the vial.

Reiner shook his head. He was only entitled to feel guilty, now and forever.

But Bertolt – Bertl made him feel worthwhile, happy.

Saskia glared at Eren.

"What?"

"So you don't want him to die…?" she prodded.

"Oh." Eren blinked. "They told you about that?"

"About what?" Reiner frowned.

Eren cleared his throat. "Yeah. I don't want you to die in the slowest, most painful way possible. Or to die at all, really."

"You deserved your emotion," Reiner told him as Hange slid the needle into his arm. "Ow."

"The funny thing is – my mom – she would have liked you. And Bertolt. Even once she knew your identity." Eren choked. Mikasa had suggested that between embraces last night, and he'd nearly died at the realization.

Reiner clenched his fist.

"You okay?" Hange asked.

"Yup."

"Look – it's healing." Saskia examined the nick. "Slower than the original serum, I think."

"Still, it's something to start with." Hange paused. "I'd like to test your transforming abilities outside, Reiner – away from society, of course."

"But first." Saskia eyed the empty vial.

"Of course." Hange grabbed the chemicals. "If anything can help."


"…An unwelcome memory?" Levi nodded as Historia and a very scared Flocke herded the Dok children back to yard, where Hitch had convinced the children to entwine flowers in Jean's hair.

Erwin glared at Levi. "Her husband is dying."

"Yes, her husband. Your best friend."

"No," Erwin said quickly. "Not anymore."

"Saskia. I get it."

Erwin frowned. "It's not like you to be jealous, Levi."

Levi's mouth dropped open. "Do you want me to rip off your second arm?"

"You're my closest friend, Levi. You have been for a long time. I don't see that changing." Erwin smiled wryly. "I imagine Hange has already told you this, but you've ignored her."

"You smile a lot more lately," said a pink-faced Levi as he focused on scuffing his boots against the cobblestone.

"Yes…I suppose I do." Erwin cocked his head. "I believe in you, Levi, as much as I ever have."

"Oh, that's reassuring. Like when I had plans to murder you?"

"I knew you wouldn't."

"Did you really? Because I was quite close to it." Levi eyed him.

"No. I just hoped you wouldn't," Erwin said with a chuckle. "And believed you were smart enough to see the value in staying alive."

"For humanity," Levi said robotically. "All this time you've been talking like humanity is this abstract cloud you can fight for while feeling nothing. Four-Eyes thinks hat woman's making you finally see the personal burden of humanity. I just think you're rediscovering it. Your dad was a good enough teacher to ensure you knew all of that long ago."

"I've always believed in you even if I couldn't relate personally. I'll keep doing that, but I'd like to relate personally." Levi cursed. "Broken Maria, that sounds romantic."

And he had had those feelings for Erwin once, long ago … But they were past and gone, and what remained was his steadfast faith in his friend.

Erwin grinned. "I wouldn't like to see what experiment Hange would cook up if you left her for me."

Levi shuddered. "Constipation for life, probably. Keep us from intimacy."

Erwin laughed, and laughter finally felt free.

Levi blanched. "So how did you figure out she was married?"

Erwin hesitated. "The Beast Titan – Zeke – found her with us. He hurt her, Levi, until she confessed."

Levi scowled. She had tricked Erwin. And that Beast Titan just kept hurting everyone. "I mean, they're basically divorced, right? What with them on separate sides…"

"I suppose. Still, I felt indignant and betrayed…and then…then I saw her alive the next day. Mikasa would have died if she hadn't convinced Zeke to let Armin transform. Then she risked her life for Reiner and all of us. I don't harbor any ill will, not at all."

Levi watched Erwin carefully. Zeke must have humiliated Erwin too, if he'd known. The thought sickened him. "Do you regret your feelings?"

Erwin shook his head. "They're a weakness, not a regret."

"Good." Levi wasn't sure how to handle hearing about Erwin's feelings. Still, he was finally getting what he wanted.

"Erwin!" A red-faced Saskia rushed up to them, clutching a vial. "Hange has a rudimentary form of the healing serum. We – we hoped it might be useful for Commander Dok."


"This doesn't make any sense," fumed Connie. "But maybe I'm just an idiot."

"Stop saying that," scolded Sasha. "You're smart!"

"I agree with you, Connie," said Armin worriedly. "Why didn't he kill Nile?"

"Because he's a sadist. He wanted to watch him suffer," Annie said, crossing her arms. "What other reason do we need?"

"The reason he knows your father?" Ymir suggested.

"My father was from within the walls. He and my mother fled to the warriors. Maybe Darius was his friend before." Annie shrugged. She really just wanted to spin him on 3D-MG and throw him. Like she'd thrown that Survey Corps member.

She wished she hadn't.

Armin felt a pang of sympathy. Peter deserved to see his daughter again.

"Wake up, sweetheart." Ymir scowled. "He's hiding something."

"I agree," Sasha said nervously.

"I'll find out what." Mikasa slid off the wall, brandishing a knife. "I'm not afraid."

"I am," said Ymir. "Of you."

"Me?" Mikasa started.

"Is torture the best way? Maybe, but we should try more options first. Fuck, I sound like Historia."

"Oh please. You always have, more than you know," Annie replied.

Mikasa looked genuinely upset. She wasn't a monster. She just did what was necessary.

"Mikasa, Annie and I will scour the records. Then you can visit Darius," Armin said, squeezing her hand.

"Uh – okay."

Sasha nodded towards Armin. She and Connie could handle Mikasa. The best medicine was warm soup, after all.


Erwin grabbed Marie's shaking hands to steady her. Saskia bent over Nile, pushing a vial of pink liquid into his pallid veins.

This is almost how we met. Erwin cringed at himself.

"Do you – do you think –"

"It's imperfect," Saskia reminded them.

"But it's his only chance." Marie hardened her voice. "It's going to work."

That's how her favorite folktales and plays worked. And Marie had never abandoned them.

Saskia placed a hand against the pulse in Nile's throat. She closed her eyes and waited.

Please, she begged the man. Erwin can't lose another friend.

When she finally spoke, Erwin thought he would tear in two from tension. Marie's pain was too much to bear. They would never be lovers again, but they would always care for each other.

If I have to catch a pregnant woman and Erwin, I'm asking for a raise in tea funds, Levi thought. Angry thoughts kept him calm. Ha.

"I think his pulse is stronger."

"Stronger?" cried Marie, diving forward.

"Yes. It's improving. Not – not as drastically as the full serum."

"But there's hope!" Marie wrapped Saskia in an embrace. "He's going to live; I know it. Thank you."

"And Hange," Levi said quickly.

"Especially Hange," Saskia agreed as Marie released her and focused on Nile's face, which was beginning to exhibit a more natural color.

The tenderness in her eyes made Erwin's skin prickle. Thankfully, Levi had already noticed, and he was yanking Erwin towards the door.

"I'll leave you two," said Levi with a nod.

"Wait –" But Levi had already vanished.

Saskia glanced nervously at Erwin.

"I'm glad to see you free." Erwin's thumb traced her palms. "And you helped save an old friend…"

"Who by my people's standards deserves death," she finished. Her eyes softened. "And he doesn't. Not at all."

"No," agreed Erwin. "Accompany me back to the palace?"

Saskia nodded, ignoring the lump in her throat. This could be highly unpleasant.

Once they were immersed in the twilight air vaguely filled with the scent of bread and refuse, Erwin spoke again. "Tell me about your husband."

She wanted to fall down again, to scream an apology. No matter his forgiveness, she would never feel enough.

But he knew that. And that was why he kept asking her. They could talk until she felt whole again.

Saskia sighed. "He…he isn't a monster. He did care about me. And I used that."

Erwin said nothing. He stared at her intently, hoping she knew he was listening, listening to anything she needed to say.

"Am I a monster?" Saskia shrugged, and for a moment, a shadow of her stoic nature returned. "I seduced and married him because I thought it would help Annie. He helped protect me from my father…who wasn't always the helpful saint you saw."

"I remember." Erwin moved closer. "Forgive me, but I'm glad he's not a monster."

"No?" Saskia frowned.

"No. Because – because that would mean the world is as simple as the altered history made it out to be. That there was one big monster to take down. Sure, it's more complicated and painful this way…but…I almost like it more." Erwin half-smiled. "I'm a bad person, maybe."

"My last words were once going to be that you were a good man," Saskia said dryly.

He burst into laughter. "I'm sorry; I do remember!"

"And I meant it." Saskia rested her head on her hands. The sunset was beautiful tonight. The children were beautiful. "I don't know what makes someone good or bad, but I know you are good. And I would not say Zeke is. He's capable of it – he's the one who held me and cried with me while I – uh – lost our baby – but he doesn't often choose it."

"You lost a child?" Erwin leant closer to her. Damn, she was on his right. Still, he tossed the right flap of his sleeve over her shoulders.

Saskia giggled. "Lovely joke."

"I don't mean to make light – I just – I'm sorry, Saskia."

"I know you don't. I appreciate a little levity. I barely knew I was expecting, and then a few days later I honestly thought I would die. That was early on, but I guess it's one of my more vivid memories." She had already planned on naming her baby girl Sophia, after Mom.

Erwin didn't know what to say. "I'm…so sorry. But you don't have any other children?"

Dammit, why did he keep asking her questions? She wasn't a prisoner anymore. He was just curious, and a little afraid.

"No. After this long, I, uh, doubt I…can anymore." She didn't deserve children, and certainly not with Zeke. That was almost a relief…and yet she was still sad.

"Saskia." Erwin wrapped his left arm around her, fully embracing her. "I don't know how to comfort you or any sweet things to say. All I have is that you are a special woman, I understand your secrets, and I've never thought less of you."

She squeezed him back.


"What are you looking for?" Annie asked in the military headquarters. The blood of Nile was upstairs, blood from a man victimized by the same man who'd hurt her. It called to her, louder than she wished. "Because we could get lost in this dustbin."

Though she would get lost for him.

"Go find his military records. Especially … right before Wall Maria fell."

"You have a hunch?"

Armin tore through a pile of soldier's backgrounds. How many were dead? Holy names, and he dared to skim through them. I'm sorry.

"Yes. It's the same hunch – the same hunch that led me to find Reiner in the Walls at Shinagashina. We can't think conventionally." Armin glanced up for a moment. "I've killed someone too, Annie."

She froze. "Why are you telling me this?"

"She was a military police officer. She hesitated to kill Jean, and I was less human than her," Armin said sadly.

"No, you were smarter," Annie replied furiously. "I don't know when this happened or why, but Armin, you're guilty of less than you think."

"And so are you, but neither of us feel that way."

"You haven't committed nearly the crimes I have. You weren't ever the aggressor."

"No, but if I were in your position – if my father raised me to do it – would I? I think so," Armin said.

Annie's breath hitched. No one had ever admitted so before. Not even fellow Warriors. She'd seen the relief in their eyes, the gratitude that they weren't her.

And Dad was likely going to die before she could accept his apology.

"I'm not mad at you, Annie."

He was looking at her that way. The way he used to, before he discovered her secret. The way that saw her.

Annie's eyes watered.

"Are you okay?"

Annie nodded before laying the dusty papers across the table. She crossed over to him and pressed her lips against his.

Armin's face was red and hot as the Colossal Titan. "A-annie?"

"You and your thinking always made me remember my humanity," she confessed.

"Because – because you showed me your humanity," Armin stammered.

She hugged him until he could barely breathe. All the emotions wrapped inside her threatened to explode. "Ar – armin."

He squeezed her back, his stomach splashing with excitement and joy and hope. Like the ocean, maybe.

Then his eyes focused on a paper behind her. "Isn't Darius 58 years old?"

"Supposedly." Annie stepped back.

"There's no birth record of him." Armin pointed. "See, his name should be listed here."

"Maybe he was placed wrong. Or he wasn't recorded. He could be from the Underground for all we know." Annie flipped through the pages.

"No, I've heard he's from a town in Wall Maria."

"Let's find those records."

Three hours later, Armin had turned up nothing, and Annie had returned to military records.

At this point, too many papers had numbed her brain. She was back five years before the fall of Wall Maria, looking for nothing suspicious at all.

And then a word: Frosina.

"Armin…"

"What?"

He turned to see her shaking.

An ape titan grinning down at her.

A battlefield of soldiers, fly—riddled guts spilling around them.

A gray beard topped with moist lips, smiling down at her.

A cabin unable to contain her mother's tears.

"I know what your hunch is." Annie gulped. "And I think you're right."