A/N: Sup, my people! I'm loving all the feedback I'm getting! Thank you guys so much! I've decided to go ahead and rewrite some of my old stories and send them out in hopes of getting published. I'll let you guys know how that goes. It might take me longer to update this story because of that though. Now, back to the important stuff.
*)O(*
Sara was holding onto her arm as she led her out of the dojo. Becca kept thinking of Mikey. His eyes were dark. He didn't smile. He growled and snarled. He looked like a monster. Striking his brothers and attacking them without mercy. Nothing she'd seen from him so far had let her know he could be like that. He was frightening.
She'd slept beside him. He'd held her. At any time he could have done to her what he'd done to his brothers. She was tiny compared to him. He could have-
"Becca," Sara's voice pulled her out of her head. "Donnie and I have to talk to you." Numb, Becca nodded. "Let's go to our room." Becca followed them while she kept her head down. To think that Mikey could be so… violent. Becca shivered and held herself. He was so fast. If she ever made him angry, what would he do to her? Sara pulled her inside of a dark room. Becca blinked as lights flashed on.
The room was covered in books and shelves. Some odd gadgets sat on a desk. Two laptops were plugged into the wall, hanging off the corner of a nightstand. The bed was neatly made, but papers with some formulas were scattered on top of it. Organized chaos, Becca thought. Everything seemed to have some kind of coffee stain on it. Two low hanging grow lights kept an assortment of plants alive.
"Here, have a seat." Sara pulled out a swivel chair and sat it in front of the bed where Donnie was already sitting. Sara joined him as Becca sat down. "Are you okay?" Becca nodded but leaned away from Donnie. Mikey might have kicked his butt, but that didn't mean he wasn't dangerous as well. Hell, even Sara with all of that toned muscles looked scary. "I need you to listen to me, Becca." Sara leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. "Mikey isn't usually like that, like, ever."
"We think it's because of you." Donnie nodded, adding his insight.
"Me?" Becca squeaked. What had she done? Sara's voice was calm. "By looking at them, you can tell that the guys are part turtle, but what you can't see is inside of them."
"B-but, you said-"
"They are people." Sara interjected. "But some things are still slightly more… animalistic about them." Sara added like she was trying to dance around the word animal. "They still have sharper instincts than either of us will ever hope to have. One of those instincts is to…"
When Sara stalled, Donnie picked up. "To mate."
Becca grasped the arms of the chair she was sitting in to keep herself in it. Mate, like mating, like with her. How was that even possible? How could he be attracted to her? He was a turtle. Wasn't there like some species barrier or something? "You need to understand, Becca, that we've been raised as humans. We all find human females attractive. Mikey has made it clear that he likes you." Becca's brain was in over load.
"Mikey, hell, none of the guys, would ever force you, Becca. I need to be completely clear about that." Sara reached out and touched Becca's leg. "I know that Mikey's display scared you, but you're safe here."
"How can you say that!" Becca jumped up. "Didn't you see what he did to the others? To Donnie? He could, he could-"
"Mikey would never-!"
"But he could! What, what if…" Becca felt sick. Nausea settled deep inside of her body. As if Sara knew what was going to happen, a trash can was provided. As her stomach refused to keep down her recent breakfast, she could barely make out something that Sara said. Heaving into the trashcan, the sight and smell of stomach acid mixed with the heavy breakfast foods sent her to vomiting again. Her eyes burned and she coughed. Her throat felt raw. She spit, trying to get the taste out of her mouth. A green hand with three fingers handed her a tissue. Timidly, Becca reached for it only for her stomach to protest again.
She spit again, reaching for the tissue and wiped her mouth when commotion outside of the room startled her. Donnie took the trash can without a second glance. Suddenly, the door burst open. Mikey was being pushed inside. Upon seeing him, Becca jumped onto the bed, racing to put her back to the wall. Why was he in here? What if he was here to…
"Sara!" Mikey complained.
"Michelangelo, I said get your fat shell into that room!" Sara shoved him the rest of the way in the room. Becca panicked as Mikey's eyes locked on her. "Do you see?" Sara roared. "This is what your stupid little show did! You've scared the poor girl out of her mind!" The poor girl in question remained frozen like a rabbit waiting for the cat to pounce.
"Screw your brothers, what about her? Are you going to apologize to her?" Sara kept pushing on Mikey, trying to get his attention. "You've made her afraid of you! She hasn't had time to adjust to you guys yet and you go all crazy on everyone in training." Sara stood in front of Mikey and grabbed his chest plate. Mikey hissed and looked down at Sara finally. "Look, I," Sara emphasized. "Know that the things going around in your head are messing with your normal attitude, but Becca doesn't know you, or any of us, and now she thinks that she's in the same danger that she was a couple nights ago, but now she thinks that it could be you!"
"Sara," Donnie warned. Mikey's eyes went back to Becca and she held her breath. Sara talking about her like that had been kind of weird, but the look in Mikey's eyes made Becca feel like she needed the trash can again. His eyes were dark. His light blue eyes seemed to look out into the eternity of space and reflect no light. Pain seemed to over take him and he moved forward while Donnie pulled back a protesting Sara. "Becca?" Mikey said her name like a question as he took another step forward. If there was anymore room between her and the wall, Becca eliminated it as Mikey stretched out a hand. As if she'd burned him, Mikey pulled away. He turned and ran out of the room while Sara tried to go after him.
Her brain trying to make sense of what had just happened, Becca remained where she was. Donnie soothed Sara, glancing Becca's way every once in a while. Seeing him being so tender with Sara helped to ease Becca as well. They were like normal people, some part of her brain that was still working tried to rationalize. Normal people were capable of bad things, right? It was all about choice. Mikey had chosen to stop when Splinter had grabbed his arm. He'd stopped again just now, pulling away from her.
"Since I have the most experience, I'm just going to speak and I hope you listen." Donnie sighed. "I used to get like Mikey, just in different ways. The animal part of us calls out to put on a show, to protect our mate. Most likely, Mikey was fighting us like he would have fought any other turtle if we were in the wild and such. He probably saw us as competition for you. His hostility was more like… a mating dance. He was trying to show off. Mikey might not even know what he was doing. He'd never force himself on you, just like I never forced myself on Sara. He just… likes you. Even if he doesn't know it yet."
So, a giant mutant turtle had a crush on her. Which lead him to kick everyone's ass? But she shouldn't be worried about him even though he wanted to… mate with her? How in the hell had she gotten herself into this mess? Her heart hammered and it felt like she couldn't breath. Her body trembled while her vision shrank. She felt sick again. Her fingertips felt like icicles. She felt like everything was coming to a point and she would go crazy. What if she was already crazy? What if everything had been inside of her head? Liam had raped her, and instead of facing reality, she was making all of this up.
Muffled voices tried to reach her, but she was too far away. Everything was falling apart. Her body ached. She couldn't think of anything besides an overreaching fear. She wanted to scream but sound was caught in her throat. Rapidly, things changed.
Something sweet smelling was thrust under her nose. Then a soft plush animal was forced into her hand. A smooth melody started. She blinked. Sara's mouth was moving. That must have been where the song was coming from. She squeezed the animal, a small rabbit. A sprig of purple lavender with crushed leaves waved in front of her face.
Slowly, her body and mind calmed. It was like she was in a trance. Sight, smell, touch, and tone all combined to calm her. "What, what happened?" She fumbled with the words.
"Was this the first time you've had a panic attack?" Sara stopped singing to ask.
"A panic attack?" Becca sat, looking around. Donnie looked like he was ready to have a panic attack of his own while Sara seemed to be the calmest person in the room. "I-I thought I was going crazy."
"That's a panic attack, honey. Too much has happened too close together." Sara looked guilty. "I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm so sorry." Becca couldn't say anything back. "What I did is a kind of grounding. I got you out of your head, engaging your other senses." Sara took the lavender from Donnie. "To calm you down the rest of the way, I want you to take some deep breaths and inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Hold this under your nose." Like a robot, Becca listened to Sara.
"I used to get panic attacks all the time. I kind of became agoraphobic because of them." Becca breathed in the lavender scent and held it. It smelled like a flower shop her mom used to take her to when she was younger. "Are you feeling better?" Becca nodded. Sara sat there with her. Sara told her of her past and how she'd been kidnapped and raped. She confessed about even having a few panic attacks with Donnie because of it. Sara kept her tone light, clearly trying to lighten the mood. "He always stops when I tell him to. Even when he gets a little wild." Sara touched Becca's knee. "I'm sure Mikey would too…" She tried to comfort.
"I… I don't like him like that… I just met him."
"It's okay to like someone you just met."
"No," Becca declared. "You don't like anyone you just met, you lust, and then that lust leads to someone getting hurt!" Becca tried to reign herself back. "Someone always gets hurt!" She couldn't stop herself.
Understanding like only another girl would, Sara latched onto what was going on inside of Becca's head. "You trusted someone, didn't you Becca?" It had been a year, but it might as well have happened yesterday. Sara embraced Becca as soon as the tears started. Donnie made an uncomfortable sound and excused himself. "You can tell me, Becca. I won't tell anyone else." Hiccupping and sobbing, Becca told the story of her one and only heartbreak.
*)O(*
He was an idiot. Everyone said so, all the time, and they were right. He'd ruined his only chance at ever being truly happy. He'd scared someone he'd only wanted to make happy.
Sara had busted into the dojo where Splinter had been giving him his ass. She'd yanked him out of the room with the explanation that she'd set him right to Splinter. He would have rather sat there for a week listening to Splinter than for Sara to show him what she had. The sight of Becca cringing away from him tore him to pieces. The desperation and fear on her face while she looked at him had hurt worse than any other injury he'd ever had.
Anything would feel better than this. He wished a thousand Foot ninja were taking turns using him like a practice dummy. Maybe a group of Purple Dragons could use him for target practice. Mikey silently hoped Splinter would come through his door and give him some kind of punishment. Something to make him stop thinking about how Becca looked at him.
A knock came to his door. He'd retreated to his room. He didn't move from his bed where he sat against the wall, defeated. A ninja who could beat even his leader, defeated by a look. If things were just a little different, he'd be swooning instead of wondering how he could knock himself out and forget any of this had ever happened. Donnie opened his door.
Taking a cautious look around, his older brother stepped inside. It was a rare occasion where his room, while still messy, wasn't a hazard area. "You okay?"
"Go away, Donnie." His voice sounded hollow.
"Sara and Becca are having some girl time. I thought I could have some bro time." Just great. Someone to witness just how pathetic he was. "I do have some experience with why you did what you did, you know." Even better. Some fucking advice from the genius. Perfect. "Everything was hazy, wasn't it… but… everything was so clear." Mikey's head snapped up. "You were angry, but you don't remember why, or why you felt like you had to prove anything to start with." Like a jack hammer, Donnie hit the nail on the head. "Once someone stopped you, you kind of couldn't remember exactly what you just did. All that mattered was Becca." Mikey gulped and nodded. "It was the same for me, with Sara." All those times I flipped out. It wasn't until we… well, you know, that it even toned down a little. It was months before anyone could touch her without me seeing red."
"How did you do it? How did you deal with her being so close, around all of us?" Mikey's mouth asked before he could stop it. "This, this is only day one and I've done scared her." Mikey whined, mournfully. "I've ruined everything!"
Donnie crossed the room to sit beside Mikey, wrapping an arm around his younger brother. "I didn't do anything. It was all Sara. If it wasn't for her, I probably would have attacked you guys." Donnie gave a half hearted laugh. "And I'm the calm, mature one, not the baby brother with a point to prove." Donnie took a deep breath then released it in a sigh. "I should have said something; I should have stopped you. I figured out what was happening when I got on the mat. I should have said something to Splinter." Letting out another sigh, his big brother roughly rubbed Mikey's head. "I'm not mad at you though. I understand."
"How did you stop yourself from just, kicking all of our shells all the time?"
"I didn't-"
"Yeah, I know, Sara, but, dude, didn't it ever happen any other time?" Donnie stayed quiet for a little while. He was thinking, going over his entire relationship, no doubt. "Sorry," Donnie heaved. "All I can come up with is Sara. She was affectionate. Soon she was my girlfriend. I knew, as awful as this sounds, that she was mine."
"Then what do I do? How can I ever fix this? Becca's not like Sara, I don't think she'll understand."
"Not at first, just… give her some time, and some space. She's scared of you, right now. Just show her that she doesn't need to be. No more kicking everyone's shells. Your best bet is to probably just leave her alone for now." Mikey nodded.
Donnie was probably right. Hell, he was the only one who had any experience with girls. His only other bet was to call Casey. He could just picture how that would go down. He let out a strangled laugh at the mental picture of Casey giving him advice. Donne looked at him like he was crazy. "Sorry, dude, I was just thinking about getting girl advice from Casey." Donnie seemed to think of that for a moment and started to laugh.
"Whatever you do," Donnie chuckled. "Don't get advice from him." They calmed down and Mikey pulled away from his brother. "Thanks, dude."
"You're welcome. I'm going to go and try to smooth things over with Splinter. I'm going to play the young and dumb card as best I can, you've only got a couple more years before it's obsolete anyway." Donnie crossed Mikey's room before looking back at him. Mikey waited for something but only got a small smile and advice to clean up his room before Donnie disappeared. Mikey continued to sit on his bed. It was only day one and everything was going to hell in a hand basket.
*)O(*
A/N: I know its short but it needed to stop here before it turned into a ten thousand word chapter. Up next is a meet and great with the rest of the family. (April, Casey, and Marcus.) See you guys next chapter. Don't forget to leave a review!
