V

Hange was used to working with ghouls. As Head of Research, she had made it her mission to identify why exactly ghouls needed human flesh and to find a solution to that. No, she wasn't going to create a disease affecting only ghouls. No, she wasn't trying to find their weaknesses so investigators could exploit it. No, she wasn't tearing their Quinque apart and building weapons with them. She was acting as professionally as her job demanded, as respectfully as she should and as humanely as possible. However, ghouls were wary of her – she couldn't blame them – but she did her best to make her 'experiments' agreeable to them. However, investigators kept on pressing her for information on the best way to cripple a ghoul and it was only with great unwillingness that she'd reveal a little. However, some people in her team were designated to create Quinques and she'd watch them with a scowl.

Yes, she was used around ghouls – but what about a one-eyed ghoul? She had spent the entire night skimming through her files, browsing through the CCG database and jotting down her hypothesises. She lacked of knowledge, but it had never stopped her before. In fact, it made her even more zealous in her research. She knew one-eyed ghouls were extremely rare. It was combination as probable as being hit by lightning and winning the lottery on the same day. She knew the vessel had a human's attributes but also a ghoul's ones. She didn't quite know how to differentiate the two, but from what she'd gathered on Titan's/Eren's first contact, he had a kagune and kakugan just like any other ghoul. Also, his diet was entirely one of a ghoul, which was quite a shame. She had hoped the human's side would've won on this matter.

Her eyes glazed to the clock and opened wide when she saw the time. 8:59 flashed brightly in the darkness of her office. Blimey! She had to meet with Eren. Hopefully, Levi hadn't reduced him to a pile of bones and ashes. Springing out of her chair, she slammed the door open and sprinted down the corridor. She finished her running on the first floor as soon as the clock ticked nine. Looking around, she had no difficulty spotting the two men standing in the waiting area. Eren's eyes were showing signs of slight worry, and his distress made her tread cautiously. She didn't want to scare him. As for Levi, he was glowering at her.

"As punctual as always."

"I'm not late!" She retorted cheerfully. "So, did you two bond yet?"

Eren's look was full of confusion and revolt as he repeated, "Bond?"

"I'm sure you two are the best friends in the universe now, aren't you?" She laughed at seeing their appalled features. "I'm afraid I'll have to kidnap your buddy for today, Shorty."

"You can keep the brat, Shitty Glasses," the investigator snickered.

Without any other word, Levi left them. Hange turned to Eren excitedly but tried not to let her keenness take over. "Alright, follow me, Eren."

She bounced around as she moved, her ponytail swinging like the pendulum of a grandfather clock. The ghoul was following her quietly. She still hadn't determined if she had already traumatized him, or if his silence was his defence mechanism. She judged it was the latter and began thinking about questions to ask him later. If she wanted her experiments to be pleasant and not a torture session, she had to entertain the ghoul as much as herself. What would a one-eyed ghoul like to know? She could perhaps answer to his questions about how his ghoul part functions. She could perhaps prod around his past, but only if he felt comfortable enough. She felt no uneasiness to speak about herself or others, but decided not to talk too much about the practicalities of working for CCG. A teenager like Eren would prefer hearing anecdotes about the staff rather than the legalities revolving around the hunt of half of his kin.

When they reached her lab, Eren looked like he was about to get sick. Hange was dreading he would faint, but then again she was sure he was stronger than he looked.

"So, Eren, how about we do some formalities before starting?" He gulped, nodding, and sat on the chair she was indicating. She pulled a file from a drawer and sat facing him. "Your name is Eren Jaeger, son of Grisha and Carla Jaeger, right? No siblings."

"I have a sister. She's adopted."

"Oh! Lovely. What's her name?" The scientist chirped as she scribbled down the information.

"Mikasa Ackerman."

"Ackerman...," she repeated, frowning. She had heard Levi referring to an 'Ackerman' once, but she had never dared pushing around the subject. "What about her family? Dead?"

"Yeah. She was nine when she got in our family."

"Neat. So, you're seventeen and your birthday's on March 30. Height of 170 centimetres and weight of 63 kg. Type of kagune, rinkaku – oh, I can't wait to see it!" She squealed.

Eren squirmed on his seat. "Are you... going to make me transform?"

Hange flicked her pen with her fingers, tapping it lightly against her lower lip. Since the ghoul had been fed just yesterday, he was in shape to shift. However, this case was particular and perhaps it would be too much to ask for only a half-ghoul. Besides, from what she had just heard, he was still unaccustomed to his... situation. The last thing she wanted was to shock an angry and inexperienced one eyed-ghoul – a one-eyed ghoul! However... of all the things she was ready to do for the name of science!

"Eren, for my experiments, I have to measure your rinkaku and examine a part of it with my adorable microscope. However, keep in mind that I am a trained investigator of the CCG."

"I don't want to offend you, but you look like everything but a trained investigator."

"So that's why I called a good friend of mine to watch over you."

As if on cue, the door slid with a sleek sound, revealing a familiar face framed with caramel hair. She entered, her heels clicking on the ground. She shot a bright smile to him, and not one wrinkle appeared on her face. It seemed like the sun had filtered some rays down in this tiny and dark bunker.

"Don't worry, Eren. If anything happens, I'll make sure to take care of it."

"Well, I've cleared everything written down on your file, Titan Eren Jaeger. Now, we may proceed with the fun part. How about a simple test to begin with? The main objective will be to control your transformation. You're still learning, so we'll find some pointers to direct you. You need a trigger to spark your transformation, but also one to stop it."

He shot Petra a distressed look, but she kept on smiling. "It'll be alright, Eren."

"So tell me about your kagune. How do you fare with it?"

"Do you want the ghoul's answer of the human's one?"

"How about both? We'll start with the ghoul first."

"It's like... an extension of the body. Of course, it's exactly what it is but it feels natural. My movements are instinctive. I don't know how I control them but my subconscious does. As for the human part, it's a curse. It disgusts me. Each time the ghoul summons it, I feel like it's taking control over me and uses me to achieve it to its own end."

Hange scowled, noting how Eren was separating himself from the ghoul. It wasn't so surprising, but it wouldn't be so healthy if he kept clinging on it. One's sanity was determined by acceptation and not denial. However, the scientist let it slide for the moment since they were so early in their meetings. She faithfully jotted down Eren's answers.

"Alright. I'd like you to summon it now. Imagine your kagune and feel it expand."

Eren went rigid, yet he closed his eyes obediently and forced himself to take a deep breath. His shoulders shuddered, his lips twitching. Hange observed him, a bit ashamed of feeling so interested in seeing him obviously in discomfort. She noted that his hands were steady, despite all his body quivering in what she assumed was whether effort or pain – or both, who knew? Eren bit his lower lip enough to draw blood, but otherwise he looked the same. She was about to write it down with a bit of disappointment, but then she noticed a strange sizzling and smoke surrounding his face. It came from his lips, where he had hurt himself. Was this ghoul regeneration?

Hange suppressed a squeak as her pen furiously scribbled in her notebook. Could she draw a correlation with the human and ghoul side? If biting invoked the ghoul side and his hands were the only thing immune against his nervousness, then it could mean...

"Bite your hand."

It completely broke his concentration as his eyes opened wide, incredulous. "What?"

"I said bite your hand! Come on!"

Eren nodded and immediately went back to his sort of trance. Hange only waited a few seconds before the teen complied, sinking his teeth in his flesh. His features turned irate, as if he would turn into the Hulk in the next second, and Petra's stance grew rigid. Hange jumped on the balls of her feet. Eren suddenly let out a roar, his hand falling limply on his lap with streams of blood running down. There was a cracking sound like bones snapping and then Hange saw it. Tentacles were poking out of his back, stretching like a cat stirred away from slumber, uncurling like twigs reaching for the sun. They were giant, just like Levi had promised. They hit the bunker's ceiling with a loud thud that surely shook the ground above. They were the same colour of his eyes, a teal that surely made women swoon, and pulsing as an ethereal light coursed through it.

"Amazing!" The scientist yelled as she readjusted her glasses frantically. "This is amazing!"

Petra's eyes were guarded, her hands clutching her Quinque disguised as a white briefcase. All traces of her friendliness had disappeared. "Hange, can you control him?"

"Uhm... Eren," she called, bowing down to him, "are you there?"

He was bent down, his arms lying lifelessly beside his body, his head hanging low. The tentacles jerked, the only sound shattering the silence being his wheezes. In wonder, she gazed up at the kagune and estimated the diameter of eighty-five centimetres. She had never seen one so huge before, and it made her wonder if he had simply been blessed by his ghoul side or it had something to do with his human one. Eager to test his reflexes, she grabbed a beaker and and threw it at the ceiling. Instantly, one of the tentacles twitched to life and lunged to the object, curling around it without breaking it. Hange could only watch in awe, her jack slack, as the tentacle lowered and put it down on the desk.

"Thank you, Eren," she murmured. Tentatively, she lifted his chin to see half-lidded eyes staring back at her. She was saddened that his kakugan hadn't appeared, yet she couldn't help but smiling at what she had witnessed. "Say, how about we play a game?"

"Hange," Petra intervened, her voice a warning in itself. "No life-threatening games."

"Then you don't know me very well."

Her eyes glinted, light catching her glasses. Petra pursed her lips in a way Levi would be proud of and then looked away. Hange turned to the ghoul, rubbing her hands in anticipation.


Eren would've lied if he said he remembered what had happened with Hange. Truth to be told, he remembered everything until the scientist had incited him to bite his hand. The rest was a blur, like watching a scene from an aquarium. The only proof that it hadn't been a dream was an elated Hange almost choking him in a hug as she waved him goodbye. Then, Petra had grasped him by the shoulders, drawing him away from the bunker. They had left the building and the walls had started spinning. His head was throbbing, but Petra had brought aspirins just like any loving mother would. He vaguely remembered settling down in her car and then walking up to the coffee shop where they currently were. His dizziness had eventually faded away as he had swallowed the pill along with a gulp of coffee.

"You did great today," she told him, snapping him out of his daze.

"I don't even know what I did," he mumbled. "Did you... have to stop me?"

"No. You didn't do great just for that; you did great because I felt like we advanced. Hange was really pleased with the results she got. I'd never seen so excited before."

"If you say so..."

Still, it gave him hope a little. If he really helped the CCG, then perhaps they'd slack their surveillance and learn to trust him. Dealing with two opposite sides at once was demanding, and he wondered how long he could hide his sort of contract with the Doves from the 104th Squad. Each time he saw Pixis or Shadis or anyone, he felt a pang of guilt. Hopefully, Petra hadn't chosen the 104th Squad as a place to rest after the experiments, but nothing guaranteed it wouldn't happen next time. He drowned his worry in his cup of coffee, feeling her eyes lingering on him.

"Levi told me you were attacked yesterday."

"More like my sister was," he growled as he remembered Mikasa dangling from the ghoul's kagune. His hands clenched around his cup. "What happened to the ghoul?"

"It escaped." Seeing his fuming expression, she précised cautiously, "More like Levi let it go. His mission was to watch over you, not chase after ghouls."

"I could've killed that ghoul myself while he could've stayed with Mikasa."

"If you had done that, you would've indirectly told your sister you were a ghoul. No human being without the professional training of an investigator can confront a ghoul. Levi was your best option. His choice is not yours to make."

"But it concerned me. I had my word to say."

Petra sighed, shaking her head. "Eren, in situations like these, we have to act and think rationally. Levi is tasked with your protection. Going after the ghoul meant disobeying direct orders from the CCG and there could've been a chance that the ghoul wasn't alone. Another could've attacked you right in front of your sister. You could've died. She could've been eaten. Do you understand?"

Even if his pride had taken a blow, he could understand. However, deep down, he was convinced he still would've been able to protect Mikasa and himself. He was half-ghoul, half-human, for God's sake. Of course, he could draw both sides' strength and use it to its full potential. Petra laid back on her seat, sipping her coffee. Eren looked down at the lukewarm liquid in his cup. Yes, he was half-ghoul, half-human, but of all the human food he could digest, it was simply coffee.

"The next days shouldn't be too eventful," the investigator kept going. "I stretch it to a week. If the ghoul wants to attack you again, it'll know you are under protection."

"Are you sure Levi will be discreet? I don't want people asking about me hanging with a–"

"Levi has experience in this kind of things, believe me," she assured him. "Keep living the way you do, Eren. Don't bother about us."

Keep living the way I do, uh? Keep hunting humans; is that what you're saying? He couldn't help but spitefully thinking. He knew Petra didn't mean it that way, but that familiar disgust rose within him again. He fidgeted on his seat, wondering if he should ask–

"Hange will feed you twice a month to keep your healthy and strong," Petra whispered, as if reading directly from his head. "If we see you feeding on a human, dead or alive, the contract will be broken."

It was impressive how the woman could easily switch from kind and friendly to being a dutiful and loyal investigator. Eren felt like a soldier as he nodded, "Understood."

"We haven't really looked at the contract itself, but I'm sure we don't have to skim through it. You're smart enough to know what to do and what not to do."

"What happens if I attack Levi?"

Her eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. "Why would you do that?"

"He has a knack to get on my nerves. I'm not sure I'll be able to keep up with him... I'd rather have you watching me. I'll know someone really values my life."

"Eren, Levi values your life."

"Yeah, sure," he replied, rolling his eyes. "He wants to kill me and he almost just did that."

He told her what had happened from the moment they had left the building until they had reached home. Petra's features didn't change, and Eren could tell she was analysing what he had said. He hoped she believed heim for it was his word against Levi's, her boss. Then she brought her cup to her lips, yet didn't tip it to drink from it.

"He was testing you. He does that to everyone."

"Well, for a test, it was fucking dangerous! He had his blade right under my chin!"

"Levi... has unique methods to determine one's worth," she declared after searching for her words. "I had to get through it too when I got in his Squad. Actually, I think everyone he encountered was put through it, and not everyone succeeded in the way you did."

"I succeeded? I didn't even move; how is that a fucking success?"

"I believe Levi tested your ethics back then. He wanted to see how you'd react to danger when confronted by an investigator. You didn't attack him, even when he had made it clear he would kill you. I think he deduced you were leaning more on your human side rather than your ghoul's, therefore you were to be trusted."

"You're going to kill me," Eren murmured.

"Is there a reason why I shouldn't? You're a ghoul. That's enough for me."

His ears perked up as he heard the sword being unsheathed. What should he do? He couldn't let himself be killed when Mikasa was waiting for him at him. He couldn't let himself be killed with Armin practically friendless at school. He couldn't let himself be killed when he hadn't avenged his mother's death. Slowly, he turned around and stared at the investigator. Levi was standing with his arms spread, one holding a rectangular blade glimmering with a silver sheen. Then he inclined his head, ready to pounce as his sword titled towards him. Before Eren could even react, he saw a flash of white and he could feel the cold blade against his Adam's apple. He froze, wondering if this sword, which was obviously made out of a ghoul's Quinque, could slice through his flesh.

Levi's eyes were smouldering, its colour clashing with the rain falling on his eyelashes. Eren was mesmerised by the droplets following the contour of his jaw line. He let his eyes trail on his face, drinking in the smoothness of the skin and the impassable mask he was wearing. Eren didn't feel like moving. He could just stay there, watching him, waiting. Yet, while he could wait, others couldn't. Mikasa couldn't wait forever. Armin couldn't stay alone forever. His mother couldn't rest in peace if she wasn't avenged. A flash of lightning tore the sky in half, thunder roaring back, and the rain kept on pouring. Still, he was immobile.

Levi removed his sword, eyes flashing in alert. "A ghoul's nearby."

Then he darted off, stunning Eren as he watched him sprinting away at a speed that could've rivalled a ghoul's in the rain.

"How is that... even possible? Why would he want to test me?" Eren grumbled.

"Levi doesn't know how to act around you. His mind keeps on reminding him that you're a ghoul like every other one he's encountered, but he can't forget the fact that there's a part of you which is human. Since you belong to both sides, it makes him uneasy."

I make him... uneasy?

"Petra, what do you think will happen?"

He was offering her many openings. He could be talking about his contract with the CCG, about Levi's guard or about Hange's experiments. He could be talking about his ghoul side, about how he had to deal with a new diet and his kakugan. He could be talking about the future in itself, about the relationship between humans and ghouls or about the repercussions of his unique condition. He could be talking about the weather, for all he knew. Yet he let Petra lead the discussion. She put her elbows on the table and brought her hands together, resting her chin on them. She blinked, deep in thought, and then smiled.

"I think... that we shouldn't think too much. We'll just let it come as it comes. Levi has some saying about it too. It's something among those lines: 'no matter what people think you should do, nobody will be able to tell you if it's right or wrong until the consequences happen.' So you should just follow your heart, Eren, and do what you won't regret."

Will I regret agreeing with the terms of the CCG? Will I regret being experimented on by Hange? Will I regret working along with Levi?

Only time will tell if he had made the right decision. From now, all he could do was to bear with the CCG, bear with Hange, bear with Levi and most of all, bear with himself.


It was supposed to be two different chapters, but it didn't feel good if I cut it in the middle. So there you go.

Thank you for reading, reviewing, favouriting, following :)