Hi, I came across this song on YouTube "Still by Gerrit Hofsink" I think the words really relates to Amelia and her Unicorn Baby, thinking maybe it could make for a good song fic, a story that could go with it? :)

This is the continuation of ' Unicorn Baby.'

Still

I've been waiting for you
For such a long time
You're always on my mind

And I'm lying awake
Most of the night
Waiting to hold you tight

Now that I do
And look at you
My heart is breaking
This can't be true

That night after her full fledged confession to Owen about her unicorn baby, Amelia couldn't sleep. As Owen snored softly beside her, she lay awake thinking about her unicorn baby.

She remembered when she first discovered that she was pregnant a couple of months after Ryan's death, after coming out from rehab. She was still grieving over his death, it was like a part of her died inside. But then, the discovery of a little life growing inside of her gave her new hope and new life. Ryan had left a piece of himself inside her, and that way- he was never truly gone.

Then the universe dealt her with another blow. When she entered her second trimester, she finally agreed on an ultrasound. On her very first ultrasound, she learnt that her baby was anencephalic. When Addison broke the news to her, a piece of her heart was taken away from her. Her entire world crumbled around her again. How ironic was it that her, a brain surgeon, was having a baby with no brain?

When she was given the option of aborting the baby, she refused, knowing in her heart that abortion wasn't an option. She decided to keep the baby instead , so that she could donate his organs after his birth.

The birth of the baby itself was a painful but at the same time such an amazing experience for her. She refused drugs, not even an epidural and felt the full brunt of the labor pain. But it was all worth it when she held the baby in her arms. When she removed the blanket covering his head, she thought he was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen.

'He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen' she had declared as she held him in her arms. He felt so soft, so warm, so right in her arms.

' This is my son.'she had announced proudly to Charlotte. She was a mother and he was her son.

She felt nothing but pure love and tenderness for the baby boy as she continued holding him in his arms. For that moment, she experienced what a mother's love was like.

The bonding with her son ended too soon when he starting wheezing and Addison announced that he was in respiratory distress and it was time for him to be taken away from her.

It tore Amelia's heart to be separated from him. The 43 minutes she held him in her arms just weren't enough. It was way too soon for her son to be taken away from her. She just couldn't bear to let go of him at first, she wanted to just hold him in her arms forever.

In the weeks that followed, she tried to go through life as usual, busying herself with her work. But her first baby, her unicorn baby had taken a piece of her heart with him which could never be replaced. A part of her had been buried with him.

For many years, she had buried her emptiness of losing her baby deep inside. She didn't want to feel the loss, because she knew that if she did, it would really hurt. There's no word in the English vocabulary for a parent who had lost a child, and no words to describe the loss.

Currently, with Owen wanting a child so bad, the prospect of her being pregnant again and the possibility of her having another anencephalic baby was just too much for her to bear.

Now that she had totally opened up about her past, and confessed her feelings to him, she felt a huge burden being lifted off her shoulders. She finally felt that she could breathe again.

She shifted to her side and snuggled closer to Owen for comfort. Owen subconsciously stirred from his sleep too.

She felt a tear rolling down her cheek as she thought about what her unicorn baby would've grown up to become had he been given a chance to live longer than 43 minutes. He would've been 5 years old now, running around the house, lighting up her days with his infectious laughter and smile. He might love superheroes like Batman and Superman. He might already be starting to play soccer. Images of Owen teaching him how to kick a ball suddenly crossed her mind. Owen would've been such a great father figure to him.

' Are you still thinking about him?' a gentle but masculine voice suddenly asked her.

Amelia overcame her initial reaction of being startled to look up at Owen.

He was looking at her with a look of love and compassion in his eyes.

' Yes'Amelia replied, a sad tone in her voice. ' I miss him so much.' she added in a whisper. ' I try to keep myself distracted from the pain I'm feeling, but the dull ache in my heart never really goes away.'

' Amelia- you shouldn't block your feelings like that, it's not healthy.'Owen advised gently. ' It's ok to miss him. I sometimes find myself missing the child that I never met too.'

' He would've been 5 now.' said Amelia sadly. ' And I find myself imagining the both of you doing boy things together.'she added with a sad smile on her face.

Owen suddenly found himself imagining going fishing or playing soccer with her son.

' I would love to have met him.' he said softly.'Did you think of a name for him?'

' No- he was just my unicorn baby.' she answered. ' My miracle baby.'

' A miracle baby indeed.' Owen agreed.

Amelia smiled, tears again pooling in her eyes.

' Sometimes I wonder how my child would've been like had Cristina not gone through with the abortion.' Owen admitted. ' Maybe I might still be with her now. Maybe we might still be separated and she might've taken the child away from me. Or she might even have left the child with me. But either way, I would've been a father.'

' You would make a great father.' Amelia said, smiling at him.

' I wonder whether it's a boy or a girl. I think he or she would look like Cristina.' he admitted, 'but it wouldn't matter for me.'

' I would like to believe that they're both angels in heaven now.' said Amelia , her voice quavering. ' I believe they're both looking down on us and smiling at us and guarding us.'

' I would like to believe that too.' said Owen earnestly.

They both laid on their backs and stared up at the ceiling, imagining their babies in heaven.

' Maybe you should go to visit his grave- you know, to give you closure.' Owen suggested.

Amelia looked at him, surprised by his suggestion. To be honest, she hadn't even been to his grave since she came to Seattle.

' We need to take leave to fly to LA' Amelia pointed out cautiously.

' Yes, I'll go with 'll tell Bailey would be back by next week, so we can go then.' reasoned Owen.

A smile slowly formed on Amelia's face, her dimples showing.

' Owen- you're the best.' she said hugging him and leaning on his broad chest for comfort.

He held her tight in his arms, wishing that he could take all her pain away from her.


A week later

Lost you before I found you
Gone before you came
But I love you just the same
Missed you before I met you
On earth we never can
But in heaven we'll meet again

The graveyard was quiet, there was no one else around except the two of them. Owen and Amelia walked hand in hand slowly towards a small gravestone which looked like it hadn't been attended to for many years. Weeds were starting to grow beside it, almost covering the entire gravestone.

They quickly got to work, pulling off the weeds and sweeping around the gravestone.

Finally, when the entire grave was cleared, they both stood back and admired the beautiful gravestone. There was a picture of an angel craved on it. Below the angel were the words neatly inscribed:

' Beautiful unicorn baby.

Lived for 43 minutes but saved so many lives. Forever in our hearts.'

Amelia could feel the tears pooling in her eyes as she read the words. She felt a sudden stab of guilt in her heart at having not visited the grave for so long. She was trying to ignore him and his existence when she in fact missed him so dearly.

She slowly bent down and placed a fresh bouquet of white roses which she had brought on the way to the grave in front of the gravestone.

She stepped back and stood in front of the grave, wiping away a tear.

Owen meanwhile stood behind her, witnessing the scene before him, trying to give Amelia privacy in this moment, but at the same time wanting to be there for her just in case she broke down.

' I'm sorry' Amelia said softly, but loud enough for Owen to hear.

' Mommy is so sorry for not coming to see you for so long. Mommy can't say that she's too busy to come, because she would be lying.

Mommy just can't bear to face the feelings of missing you so much it hurts. I miss you so much buddy, you know that right? I really hope you're happy in heaven ,looking down and smiling at us. I wish to think that you're in a better place now, a place where there's no hurt, no anger, no pain, no suffering. In a way, you're lucky buddy- you got spared from having to feel all that. I hope all you feel is joy in heaven.'

Owen could feel a tear rolling down his cheek as well as he overhead her words.

Amelia then turned to look at Owen who had a sad expression on his face.

She beckoned for him to come closer and stand next to her.

As he stood beside her, she continued:

' Buddy, this is uncle Owen. He's a great and amazing guy, I'm sure you would've loved him. I think both of you would've got along together very well from the start and done boy things together. He would've loved you like his own.'

Owen swallowed, feeling Amelia's words warming his heart. He was pleasantly surprised by this gesture of hers, and it touched him deeply.

' Yes buddy, I would've loved to meet you. I would love you so much.' Owen added softly.

Amelia looked sideways at Owen as she smiled at him. Owen was an amazing guy indeed, she was so glad to have him as her husband.

' Love you'she mouthed to him.

' Love you too.' he mouthed back.

Amelia closed her eyes for a moment and tried to imagine her and Owen walking at the mall with her son in the middle of them holding their hands on each side. She then found her mind wandering to her and Owen holding their own children's hands as they walked in the park.

She swallowed thickly.

' Buddy.'she whispered. ' I'll always miss you so much and you'll always be my firstborn and have a special place in my heart. One day I'll bring your siblings to come back and visit you ok? I'm sure you would love to meet them. They wouldn't replace you don't worry- you'll always be special to me. But you'll watch over them from heaven right? You promise?'

Owen could feel his heart fluttering and a warm fuzzy feeling arose inside him upon hearing Amelia's words. She wanted Ryan to have siblings. She did want to have children with him after all.

After a few more quiet moments, Owen and Amelia walked away from the grave hand in hand. No words were spoken, but there was a silent understanding between them.

For Amelia- it marked a closure in this chapter of her life. Her unicorn baby would always have a special place in her heart, and she would always miss him dearly. But she knew that she could not cling on to the memories of him which she buried deep inside. Now that she had opened up to Owen about him and brought Owen to meet him, she felt a huge weight being lifted off her shoulders. She felt much more free than she had felt in a long time. She could finally breathe again, and move on with her life. She finally felt that she was ready to start a family with Owen. Healthy babies or not, she had Owen by her side.

Looking at the peaceful expression on Amelia's face, Owen knew that his wife had finally made peace with her past, and was ready to move on create a beautiful future together with him.

Close to my soul
Close to my heart
Right from the start

Lost in time, lost in space
Can't wait to see your face

Now that I do
And look at you
My heart is breaking
I know it's true


10 years later

Amelia stood in the kitchen as she sliced some tomatoes to prepare the salad dish for dinner.

' Moooommmm' Charlotte Addison Hunt called out from the study room.

Amelia turned around to face Charlotte, who had an exasperated look on her face. At 9 year old, Charlotte was the exact clone of her mother, not only in terms of looks but also personality.

' What Char?'she asked tenderly.

' Noah stole my IPad again!'

' I did not!' another voice piped up. 7 year old Noah Christopher entered the kitchen, hands on his hips. With strawberry blond hair, he took after his father in terms of appearance, but he had some of his mother's fiesty personality as well.

' You did too! You just took it without my permission!'Charlotte glared at her brother, hands on her hips.

' Did not! I just wanted to borrow it!'

' Well then you should've asked. If you take something that's someone else's without permission, that's considered stealing.'Charlotte reasoned.

' I didn't know that applied to your things too.' Noah looked surprised.

' Ok, ok enough.'said Amelia sighing.

' Noah- return your sister her Ipad. And no Charlotte, you can't play with it right now- because we've going to have dinner soon and after that you have to finish your homework.'

Charlotte scowled at her mother and glared at her brother before storming off into her bedroom and banging the door.

Amelia startled upon hearing the bang. This was so unlike Charlotte to behave like this. She was usually a very sweet, polite, loving and obedient girl. Something must be up with her. She made a mental note to talk to Charlotte about it later.

Noah meanwhile, stood in front of her with big pleading eyes.

' She always let me use her Ipad. I didn't steal it mom. I don't know why today she said that I stole it.'

' It's ok Noah, maybe she's not in a good mood today. Can you be a good boy and help set the plates for dinner?' Amelia asked, as she planted an affectionate kiss on her son's head.

It was usually Charlotte's job, but apparently she was not in the mood that day, so Noah had to step up. Owen and Amelia made it a point to train their kids well.

There was the sound of keys jiggling at the front door and shortly after the front door opening.

Owen entered with 4 year old Olivia Michelle. Olivia was the perfect mixture of both her parents in terms of appearance, and had a happy bubbly and easygoing personality. She was like a ray of sunshine radiating light to everyone around her. Olivia was beaming happily because her dad had just brought her for an icecream treat on the way home from running errands. Olivia was beaming happily because her dad had just brought her for an icecream treat on the way home from running errands.

A wide smile formed on her face as she saw her mother and brother in the kitchen and rushed to hug her mother tight.

' Hey Livvy, you had fun with daddy today?'Amelia asked, kissing her youngest daughter on the cheek.

' Yes, he brought me for icecream!' she exclaimed excitedly, not noticing the scowl on her brother's face at not being included in the ice cream treat.

' Oh did he?' Amelia asked, smiling widely at her.

' Daddy- why didn't you bring me for icecream too?' Noah complained.

' I can bring you tomorrow I promise bud.' said Owen as he walked over to ruffle his son's hair. Satisfied with the answer, Noah continued arranging the table.

' Hey' Owen said as he walked towards Amelia and their eyes met. He pulled her in for a hug and sniffed the vanilla scent of her hair. He then cupped her face with his hands, and ran his hands on her hair as they shared a passionate kiss.

' Ewww…mom and dad. Gross.'

They pulled away from each other to see Noah glaring at them and Olivia grinning.

' You two wait for 20 years time- and it wouldn't be gross anymore.' Owen chuckled.

' Where's Charlotte?' he asked as he turned his attention back to his wife.

' In her room. I think there's something up with her Owen. I need to go talk to her.'said Amelia seriously. ' She isn't in a good mood today. I hope it's not PMS- she's just 9 years old for goodness sake.'

Owen chuckled at her last sentence. ' Want me to go with you?'he offered.

' No- I've a feeling that I need to do this alone.'Amelia smiled at him, loving how he was always so concerned about their children.

Charlotte remained silent and sulking throughout dinner and answering her parent's questions with one word syllables.

She rushed up to her bedroom after helping with the dishes, leaving her parents exchanging a glance. This was a 360 degree change of behavior from the usually cheerful, well mannered, and kindhearted 9 year old.

' I'll go' Amelia whispered. Owen nodded as he followed Noah and Olivia to the living room to watch some TV.

The bedroom door wasn't locked, but Amelia knocked anyways. She didn't want to seem too overbearing and seem like she was invading daughter's privacy, but she knew something was up with her she really wanted to help in anyway she can.

Charlotte was lying stomach down on her bed, with a textbook open in front of her.

' What's up Char?' Amelia asked softly. ' Is there something in school bothering you? Anyone bullying you? You can tell me anything you know.'

' No' Charlotte replied curtly, shaking her head. She had many friends in school and was popular and well liked due to her friendly nature. Her grades were the top in her class.

'Then what is it Char?'Amelia prodded gently. ' I'm your mom, I just want to help you. I know there's something bothering you.'

Charlotte finally sighed and looked up at her mom as their blue eyes met.

' I'm just tired mom. I'm tired of being the eldest. I'm tired of always having to give in to my siblings and do most of the chores because I'm the eldest. I hate how you and dad expect so much from me because I need to set a good example for them. I know it sounds so selfish, but sometimes I just wish that I'm not the eldest.'

' Apparently I haven't told you that you actually have an elder brother.' Amelia said quietly as Charlotte's eyes widened.

' What? I have an elder brother?' Charlotte's voice was filled with genuine surprise.

' Yes- he was 6 years older than you.'

Charlotte frowned, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration, looking so much like Amelia when she did that.

'Was? Where is he now?'

' He in heaven now.' Amelia replied sadly.

' You mean he's dead?'Charlotte whispered.

' Yes- but I would like to believe that he's in heaven now.' Amelia smiled.

'What's his name? Why didn't you and dad ever tell me about this?'

' He didn't have a name- but I call him my unicorn baby because he was truly magical. He saved lots of lives.'Amelia replied.

' He saved lives?'Charlotte's eyes widened. She had always wanted to become a doctor when she grew up so that she could save lives, and her brother in heaven saved lives? How cool was that!

' Yes, because he was magical' Amelia said as she smiled at her daughter and rubbed her arm soothingly. ' I never told you about this because you were still young and he isn't here any longer. But I think it's time for you to know this- so that you know that he's up there watching over you. You have a big brother looking out for you, and he'll protect you whenever you go. He's your guardian angel- like he's mine. He'll always be in our hearts. So everytime you feel upset, just think of him smiling down at you.'

A smile slowly formed on Charlotte's face, her dimples showing. It was such a comforting thought to know that she actually had an elder brother protecting her even though she would never see him in person. But like her mother said, he would always be watching over her.

' Does dad miss him too?' she asked. Charlotte was sometimes to wise for her age.

Amelia swallowed before explaining.

' He wasn't dad's. He belonged to another daddy- who is also in heaven now.' she replied softly.

' Oh' Charlotte said nodding. She wanted to ask why he had a different daddy, but that was a question for another time.

' So don't you feel sad anymore ok?' Amelia said, as she hugged her daughter and kissed her forehead affectionately.

'Ok mom' Charlotte replied, still in her mother's embrace. ' Guess what? I think I'm lucky that I'm the eldest after all - I get to boss Noah and Olivia around.'

Amelia chuckled in reply, shaking her head. Charlotte was so like her in so many ways. It was mindblowing sometimes how she managed to clone herself.

' Your aunt Kathleen used to boss me and my other siblings around too.' she pointed out. ' So you see, being the eldest has it's perks.'

' Do you miss him?' Charlotte asked, a serious tone in her voice.

' Yes, I do. Everyday. But I know that he's always here with me in my heart, and that he's watching over me. He's watching over you, dad, Noah and Olivia too.' Amelia whispered.

Amelia closed her eyes, with her eldest daughter still in her embrace, imagining her eldest son looking down and smiling at them from heaven.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what to do
With this pain that I'm going through
But I know one day, God will take me away
And I'm coming home to you

And when I do
And look at you
My heart is healing
I know it's true

Reviews and comments are very much appreciated - I would love to hear from you guys! :)