A/N: I fixed an error in the previous chapter as I intended to start with Hannah trying to calm Hinata down through a translator, then forgot to remove the "Shortly before previous scene" part.

I deeply regret to inform you that over the course of this fic, it is almost certain that Hinata will die in the conventional sense, and likely even in the sense of brain death, at least once, if not more times. Unfortunately, the Coalition factions do not appreciate the idea of their local friendly liaison staying dead, so Hinata is going to have an existential crisis at some point, almost certainly… And a few other ninja will also be waking up in the morgue at some point, most likely. Thanks to a really good Team 8 fic I read where Kurenai got killed off, I'm thinking of something on the order of "Asuma, are you sure this doesn't count as necrophilia on both our parts?"


Chapter 2: Scarred For Life

Hidden Leaf Village, March 25, 12 Years A9 (After Nine-Tails)

"That is NOT how the Transformation Technique is supposed to work." Hiashi Hyuuga informed the two sheepish-looking Academy teachers as they stood in the Hokage's office.

Sarutobi was very much enjoying this reprieve from paperwork, however brief. Of course, he would not, for the sake of village harmony, inform Hiashi that he'd gotten an eyeful when he'd looked outside at an inopportune time. Finding a very naked adult version of Hinata Hyuuga clinging to one's window frame in place of a potted vine was a very interesting sight indeed, especially the hardening pink nubs squished against the—AHEM! Anyhow, it seemed to confirm Jiraiya's claims about the True Hyuuga Bloodline. This conversation in his office was, of course, AFTER Hiruzen ordered ANBU to spread the word to search for a certain Hyuuga, and bring her in after covering her up with some manner of clothing.

"Well, I do know one person, only one though, whose transformation really does work for real." Mizuki noted. "It would take an obscene amount of chakra though, not something I think Hinata could pull off. She probably just got a bastardized variant of it."

Hiashi sighed… who the hell had taught Hinata the secret Hyuuga ladies' technique to maintain the appearance that the clan satisfied the trope of "Attractive Elite", at least until their bodies simply gave out on them with old age? "…Who taught Hinata that technique?" He really hoped it was not who Mizuki was suggesting.

"Well Uzumaki Naruto does a solid Transformation." Mizuki stated, blushing red at the thought of the time the definitely non-illusory—because damn they were hefty—boobs had been rested on his head by a joking Uzumaki who'd just done a Replacement technique with Mizuki's bag. That had been during the pre-test preparation when they talked about the necessary Techniques and Uzumaki had offered to demonstrate. Since he was always good for laughs, both Iruka and Mizuki had approved. Mizuki had teased Iruka later about how he'd been upset, claiming it was because "Naruko" had not rested her breasts on the other Chunin's head instead. Much to Mizuki's astonishment, Iruka had actually blushed at that. Laughter and verbal sparring ensued.

Hiashi sighed "Okay then… I hear he was the first one she appeared in front of in her less than dressed state, besides you two?"

"Well, Sakura Haruno noted that he was expelling large amounts of red chakra from his nose and mouth after realizing what he was looking at, and that a large amount seemed to make its way into Hinata, who showed up standing and straddling his lap, because she'd Replaced with his goggles, before she Replaced herself out of the Academy entirely and, uh…" There wasn't really a good way to say that the "Byakugan Princess" had gone practically streaking across Konoha in an adult form before suddenly disappearing.

Hiashi facepalmed, remembering the exceedingly unfortunate (for him) times Hitomi had gotten a good long exposure to Kushina's chakra in a non-combat environment. There had been certain… undignified episodes within the Main House afterward, such as him finding himself suddenly clinging to the ceiling corners of rooms like a long-haired spider whenever his wife spooked him somehow. The result was that Hinata was born when he was nearing thirty years old, despite Hitomi not being all that much younger than he and them having been married for quite some time. Due to excessive exertion and exhaustion his wife had practically had him on a leash with sheer terror even without being hopped up on Nine-Tails chakra. Well, at least, given she'd used a solid Transformation, Hinata was still too shy, thankfully, to rape the boy right in front of the whole waiting room. The brat would probably be traumatized for life if she had reacted the way Hitomi did, particularly as this particular exposure had to be abnormally lustful instead of just a slow, calmly burning heat…

He sighed, before finally stating "…And my daughter wonders why I told her to try not to come into contact with his chakra."

"Ah yes, I remember the last time Biwako came into contact with a good dose of non-combative Nine-Tails chakra. Asuma was born a little under ten months later, because I was a prisoner in my own home and tower for about two weeks before she stopped seeking young Kushina" The child had been clueless as to why Biwako wanted to sniff her chakra wisps, but had been bought with ramen "out for… samples. I only tried to escape once, and crawling with just my chin was… too slow before she could come back." Sarutobi said, smiling in his usual grandfatherly fashion while containing laughter at the two Chunin gaping and Hiashi's very honest attempt to hide himself in his sleeve. Either that or Hiashi was trying to hide his laughter, since Hitomi had surely put him through worse due to being a good friend of Kushina's.

For the record, Hinata's lack of hugs growing up was not because Hiashi and the Hyuuga clan in general were frigid assholes. It was because Hinata resembled her mother to a disturbing degree and Hiashi did not do well with soft hands of whatever size grabbing his face and turning it around to get attention from anyone with indigo hair thanks to being scarred (and scared) for life. Well, there WAS that time when he bribed some Nine-Tails chakra out of Naruto with ramen in hopes of meeting his wife's stamina when she was high on it, but he didn't like to talk about that, despite the result literally speaking for itself a couple years later. It had been too enjoyable for his hard-ass image to even go over in review.

As a side note, Naruto did not know why the Hyuuga stopped bribing him with ramen to get chakra wisps off of him after he was kicked out of the orphanage. He supposed after the incident when he was seven that it was because they too realized that he was an evil monster that everyone should be happy to see dead. He'd been beaten to a pulp by a mob, had all sorts of chunks (including his pee-pee) hacked off him, and stuffed in a garbage can to die. Teuchi and Ayame Ichiraku had found and saved him, and from that day forth his love for ramen matured into a near-obsession. His research into why they had cut his privates off eventually led to the Sexy Technique and other such distraction techniques.

In other news, we should point out that for your health and safety, it is not recommended to tell Hanabi about her parents' experiments with using Nine-Tails chakra as a recreational (or procreational) drug. We also point out that while the official cause of death of the ANBU and Biwako during the Nine-Tails Attack was due to being assaulted by some strange man in an orange mask with one eye-hole, speaking of the unofficial cause was very foolish. The ANBU all eventually exhausted each other due to over-exposure to Nine-Tails chakra, and later all attempted to resign only for the Third to hit them over the heads for being stupid. Then they were given a quick briefing as to the effects of non-combative Nine-Tails chakra on humans and strictly forbidden from even contemplating committing suicide in shame.

As for Biwako… well, there were very good reasons the Third Hokage was spotted monkeying around all over the very confused (and very reasonably angry about being locked up for about a century) Nine-Tails that night, and it was certainly NOT as a distraction. He was busy avoiding the line of sight and chakra senses of his berserk wife, who'd probably get them both arrested (for law and order purposes, even the former Hokage couldn't be seen to be above the law) for exhibitionism if she caught him. She had abandoned hunting the ANBU after spotting him because foxes were for the most part monogamous… which meant he had to use Jiraiya's "Ultimate Pervert Technique: Get The Fuck Out". Some witnesses claim the Nine-Tails had been rolling about in laughter that night more than anything else, but that was another story. It was right up there with the conspiracy theories that the Nine-Tails had only been having bad allergies that night and sneezing all over the place instead of actively trying to destroy Konoha. Ahem, anyhow, Hiruzen had been too blinded by fox chakra—which he was busy shielding himself against—to have any chakra sense left, so he'd been quite sure she was faking distress to bait him to aid her. Afterward, he was quite horrified to realize that Biwako really did have a heart attack during the Nine-Tails Attack from over-excitement and over-exertion.

They were currently waiting on news from the ANBU or the Hyuuga population currently combing the village and training fields. The Hyuuga Clan Elders were practically foaming at the mouth over the idea of an unsealed Byakugan wandering around with functionally no security whatsoever. Hiashi had been surprised when his father had stabbed them all verbally with the claim that any difficulty with retrieving Hinata would surely be due to their constant demeaning of the girl making her too embarrassed to emerge from whatever hidey-hole she'd found. Given Hinata's skill at the ninja arts in general and the size of Konoha and its outlying areas, it would be no great surprise if she took half a day to be found. Hiashi would wait downstairs in the waiting room of the Hokage Tower to be close to any news, while his father held down the fort at the clan compound. Mizuki and Iruka eventually got dismissed to go back and resume the Academy Graduation Tests.


Back at the Academy Graduation Test…

Unsurprisingly, to everyone involved, given Naruto was still venting wisps of red chakra instead of just his usual abnormally huge blue glow, Naruto Uzumaki managed to fail. "I can't believe he didn't catch my hints for this whole year… I thought we pranksters were supposed to be observant!" Iruka complained after Naruto left. "How did he not get my references to use of overwhelming numbers to overcome low chakra control and stupidly high minimum expenditure levels?"

"I don't know…" Mizuki said, not adding anything else about his plan for the night since, while Iruka had an inkling he was planning something, it would be better if Iruka at least initially thought he had turned traitor. It would make any interplay and exchange more convincing. Hopefully any doubts from this event that somehow weren't cleared up would not affect Tsubaki's career given she'd already been pushed into breaking up with him. Maybe after this stunt, if the kid actually handed the scroll over, he could be counted as having proven his loyalty and not be denied at least a shot at the Jonin Exams. Now, Mizuki wasn't particularly enthusiastic about taking more field missions, compared to the cushy and fairly risk-free Academy job, but it was the principle of having a choice to take the Exams if he wanted to!

Mizuki grimaced internally at the thought of how the rumours would probably initially sound before the Hokage hopefully cleared him. Probably something about stealing the scroll and running to Orochimaru, HAH! If he was actually stupid enough to think going to a guy who promised power but had a habit of discarding subordinates as tools—just look at Anko!—was a good idea then he'd probably deserve whatever they could come up with. He'd been lucky he'd protested to Orochimaru about it being an accident instead of stayed quiet when the Sannin complimented him on his mission accident back in the day, before the Snake Sannin turned traitor. Otherwise the Sannin would probably have given him some manner of cursed seal which would have affected his judgement!

Mizuki's mental grimace grew deeper as he stepped outside and saw the Uzumaki sitting on a swing. Hopefully Tsubaki wouldn't kill him over tricking the brat into stealing the Scroll of Seals—well, the lower-security one, because the Hokage certainly wouldn't keep the REAL forbidden techniques all listed and sitting around, right? Or was it refuge in audacity?—and pretending to be a traitor to get Iruka to affirm a positive opinion of the kid, while hopefully getting him to learn the Shadow Clone. Mizuki was rightfully worried about whether the Academy could stand another year of Naruto.

Actually, no, maybe he should be more worried about what the brat would do to him with the techniques learnt when he attacked Iruka with his blunted weapons. Hopefully Iruka would catch on once hit a couple times and cooperate with him in playing it out properly. What the hell the Third was thinking not telling the kid about his tenant, Mizuki had no idea, but given all the risks the kid took it was fast becoming a danger to the village. He did not intend to ever have to be exposed to that oppressive, burning chakra again just because the kid got himself killed taking another dumb risk. It wasn't as if they could afford losing Sarutobi right now to seal the beast again…

Well, just because it was an S-rank secret didn't mean he couldn't let the kid figure it out on his own with a few unsubtle hints. Watching Iruka trying to be subtle with the kid was a worse headache than the one time Tsubaki listened to rumours and went sniffing around the kid while he was trying to summon his chakra and therefore bleeding off a crapload of the red vapor. The consequences involved a massive headache (in his lower head) for Mizuki and began his opinion change of Naruto from "Bleh, it's the Demon Brat…" to "What the hell are they doing abusing the Nine-Tails' Container like that?"

As long as he said the right things after forcing Iruka to confess that he saw Naruto as a brother figure, there should be enough doubt in the boy's mind for him to ask the Hokage to hear him out. Now, before anyone privy to his thought process called him a manipulative bastard, such as his actually telling his dear Tsubaki about the chakra rumour in the first place, well, he was a ninja. What did they think he was supposed to be, an un-manipulative walnut (other than the "EAT ME, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO" smell)? Wait… I must really be paranoid if I'm narrating my life to thin air… hey, if anyone's listening, I actually told Tsubaki that as a joke originally, I didn't expect her to take it seriously… why won't anyone believe me? Even Tsubaki was upset because she thought I was just refusing to admit tricking her, just because she hadn't been in the mood for a month, though she wasn't upset about thinking it was a trick… as if I would do that to someone I intended to marry, bah! Not to mention if I was any less of a ninja I'd probably have been fucked to death… I'm supposed to be smart enough in public opinion to not commit attempted suicide by sex!

Mizuki opened his mouth and began speaking to the Nine-Tails' Container. He very pointedly ignored the little voice in his head that said that if he'd gotten a Cursed Seal from Orochimaru all those years ago he probably WOULD have done that sort of exploitation of Tsubaki's affections, if not worse.


A/N: Quite literally, sex changes the path of history, and for a Mizuki that's slightly less stupid than his supposedly smart canon counterpart, that means a lot.

I always thought the scene was sketchy, because if Iruka had been hit in the back by a shuriken that huge he should be DEAD… unless it was all a set-up.

I am seriously contemplating having the Uchiha Clan still alive in this alternate history. Maybe Mikoto snuck into her best friend's son's home to get high, and Nine-Tails chakra without consciousness could beat out Sharingan bullshit? Because I really don't see a Hinata who has even a few Coalition units put at her disposal (built by the whole platoon of ACU pilots vacationing on the planet) letting Sasuke get away, particularly after almost killing Naruto. She'd probably send a strategic bomber after him, then pretend to have no idea of why they could never find even a trace of him. That would derail the entire plot though…


Roanoke Abyss, October 31, 3849 AD, same general timeframe as previous scene.

"You're reasonably sure she's descended from a bunch of Japanese cultural enthusiasts who wandered off to found their own colony in the pre-Earth Empire era." Hannah echoed the man flatly, five minutes after the very naked girl had fallen into the sea on her front, four and a half minutes since she'd been borne out of the water by her surfacing submarine, three minutes since the boat had fished her up, and two minutes after return to the science facilities. Fortunately, the water here was fairly warm, so hypothermia was no issue.

"She has no genetic markers for Empire era genetic and biochemical modifications at all, she's basically Pre-Empire Baseline Human in terms of speed, strength and durability at present. There is a slightly higher than expected degree of homozygosity so we suspect her family is a bit inbred, but that makes sense considering her eyes are clearly not baseline human eyes. The Psi boosting we're determining so far should be able to let her see Coalition active camouflaged units at a hundred meters when it's active, or maybe more. It still can't pierce cloaking or active stealth if the unit has it." The head scientist shrugged helplessly as she leered at him. "She's just unconscious with nothing clearly wrong with her other than the unusual eyes, we can wake her at any time."

"Xav, Ariel, Steven, Seth, you are cleared to come over at any time. Xav, Steven, Seth, please take care of the base, the girl showed up naked in the middle of nowhere, she doesn't need to be surprised by an unfamiliar man or a most likely unfamiliar… uh…" Hannah thought of a way to make this sound less rude.

"I do point out that the Seraphim also have common sense to normally not make scared juvenile females have to deal with much larger, unfamiliar adult males upon waking up in an unfamiliar environment." Seth-Thauum pointed out through his translator. "And for fuck's sake—interesting how all cultures we Seraphim have ever encountered value mating quite highly and have some variation of that profanity, but it makes sense biologically—how many times must I tell you that 'alien' is not at all rude when you are talking about introducing a bunch of humans to me? Because from the humans' perspective, I am an alien, just as if I was to introduce you to a bunch of my people I'd use our term for aliens!"

"Did you use to be a business-person of some type? You're pretty good at these sales pitches." Steven said as the three dispersed to different islands in the Roanoke Abyss operational area. Ariel in the meantime was marching her ACU over to the science building, where Hannah had already docked.

Seth blinked "Did I never tell you all that I used to work for a used personal land vehicle dealer?" It would be a very bad idea to tell them he had been a lawyer working for a used personal land vehicle dealer before joining the Separatist movement, given the jokes shared by all cultures with lawyers, oh yes… Wait… he was picking up that annoying verbal tic too just because he was probably the Seraphim with the second most contact with that Doctor Brackman! Uh oh…

"Well, no, I think it's because you've heard too many used car salesmen jokes?" Major Steven Hackett ventured.

Seth snorted, though to human ears it was more like a wheezing gasp, despite how human and Seraphim body language was fairly similar. "Obviously."

Meanwhile, the two women were making their way to the bedside of the strange new arrival. "I presume you've given her the basic vaccination regimen? And I presume that you've put her under a mild paralytic so she doesn't panic and we don't have to restrain her too much?" Ariel asked Hannah, who nodded as the scientists had already informed her of this earlier.

"Wake her up." The black-haired Cybran instructed the brunette Aeon woman, who nodded and activated her Psionics after deactivating the room's Psi suppression field emitters. Then Ariel stared at Hannah, whose facial circuitry patterns, while normally a fashion statement of Cybran pride, had lit up brightly in automatic defence against the charging of nearby Psionic energies. "Don't mind me, it's a built-in defence that I can't suppress."

Ariel snorted "Makes me feel a lot better about Fran learning something from you while fucking your brains out, maybe literally."

Hannah sneered at that… "You put too much stock onto those rumours and fetish websites that dehumanize us Cybrans. Now, can you wake her up or do we have to use medications?"

We should note that there were sex dolls engineered with more than the standard orifice count. There were also simulation suits for both males, females, and everything in between (one did not go 1800-some years from the advent of spacefaring technology without engineering futanari and other variations) that did their best to emulate what the sensory mind-fuck of having half of one's brain smashed in, or being otherwise bodily damaged, might be like. Living in the 39th century didn't prevent men from liking to stick it in any soft, warm hole they could… or some more adventurous people in general wondering what being able to do something might feel like, be it from the giving or receiving end. Hannah was basically a boring prude compared to the post-war youth and their general air of celebration and experimentation. Thankfully Fran preferred things vanilla—which was still a curious term as the vanilla bean had been one of the most expensive spices from Earth plants, second only to saffron, when it entered slang as the term for "boring" because almost everyone liked it.

"Easy there, I can nudge her awake with just my mind." Ariel's fingertips emitted the green motes fairly typical of Aeon Psionics, compared to the purple or red of Cybrans (very few of whom were Psi-sensitive) and the blue of UEF Psionics.

Hinata Hyuuga's first impression upon waking was pain… or rather, the total lack thereof. The feeling of her organs frying themselves within her and the (in her mind) waterfall of hot liquids running down her legs that she remembered before blacking out had completely vanished. Something had gone horribly wrong when she noticed it was actually Naruto she'd managed to replace in the face of with his nose practically buried in her Transformation-granted pubic hair. A burning deep inside her had begun then, escalating as she used the Replacement Technique to try to escape to a more private space in panic until it felt like her organs were melting and being fried inside her.

She had almost thought from the pain that the scorching hot liquid trailing down her legs must have been a mixture of blood or her own boiling body fat. The Gentle Fist didn't burn nearly as many calories as, say, Might Guy's Taijutsu techniques did, and she didn't diet, hence her absurd thought of body fat. By the end, she had just been looking for somewhere to curl up die in peace and shame, a shame that would be far greater if she couldn't release the Transformation before she died. It seemed to take as much chakra to deactivate as it had to activate, for some reason… Fortunately, she'd been able to release it, shortly before she either lost consciousness or died.

Hinata opened her eyes slowly… the room was dark, with reddish glowing panels on the walls and lights pointed up toward the ceiling to reduce glare. She gulped at the sight of the dark-coloured ceiling and the mostly reddish lighting "Is this hell?" Was she really so very inadequate as a person as to have ended up in hell after she died? Perhaps basically streaking through the village was really so terrible… no doubt many villagers had been scarred for life by the sight of her.

"No, little one. You are safe here, under the protection of the Aeon Illuminate, the Cybran Nation, the United Earth Federation, and the Seraphim Separatists." A deep, but still noticeably feminine voice said to her left, and she looked—looking too fast might be taken as hostility, so she didn't turn too fast—to see a brown-haired woman with brown eyes, wearing gleaming white and green armour that seemed to clash horrendously with their present surroundings. "We chose this room for you so that waking would not hurt your eyes or other senses after we found you and healed you."

Another voice spoke now, this one slightly higher-pitched, in some foreign language Hinata could not understand. Then a speaker of some sort mounted in front of the woman to Hinata's right, dressed in black and red armour, began to provide a translation, considerably louder than the quiet speech of the woman. Though the device had rather mediocre grammar Hinata still understood the gist of "We are currently tracing the spatial distortion so that we may return you home. You are lucky that we kept an outpost around this location, which we call 'Roanoke Abyss', because it is a weak spot where many previous spatial distortions have delivered guests to us. My name is Hannah Shepard, I welcome you on behalf of the Cybran Nation, and the other woman is Ariel Williams of the Aeon Illuminate."

Hinata tried to dispel a Genjutsu, by stopping her chakra flow momentarily. The women stayed there. She did not dare power up the Byakugan in case this was real and she offended these women. The completely foreign yet clearly organized language of this "Hannah Shepard" pointed to this not necessarily being a total delusion. She would turn on her Byakugan later, when they weren't watching so closely, just in case they were real.

"Our doctors have healed you to your body's natural state, as far as your body seems to understand it, though there are some… issues that we will talk about later, when you are more recovered from the shock of being a stranger in a strange new world. Walk with us please, child, and we shall tell you more about us, and then go see what progress has been made in sending you home." The woman extended her gloved hand, and Hinata took it. If they wanted to do anything to her she would already be dead, or mind-controlled, or drugged, or any number of things.

"Yes, Ariel-sama." Hinata said, presuming that that was the woman's family name. She found she could move without difficulty… and then realized how much this woman dwarfed her by. She was 147cm at present, while the green-and-white-armoured woman towered over her at what Hinata estimated to be about 196cm, counting armour, though the boots didn't seem to be all that thick. The black-and-red-armoured woman was slightly shorter, and as the lights brightened in the room, Hinata picked out dull dark lines along the woman's cheeks, tracing some manner of pattern… a compressed seal perhaps?

"You may be curious about my facial circuitry. It is a fashion and factional pride statement of almost all Cybrans." Hannah pointed to her cheeks upon noticing where Hinata was looking. Contrary to popular belief, the Byakugan, while apparently pupil-less, was still well able to see normally, such as when chakra in a particular area was being jammed… On the other hand, it also made the pupil actually show itself instead of its usual chakra-camouflaged state intended to make enemies not know what you're focusing on.

Hinata didn't even notice that she was only looking at what her eyes were pointed toward until they made their way from the dark-themed room—apparently the Cybran style of architecture—into a blue-floored, grey-walled hallway. "Um, is this… United Earth Federation" The words felt strange as she copied what the woman who spoke her language said, knowing it was almost certainly not what they actually called the faction in their other language "Or Seraphim style?"

"This is UEF style, not Seraphim." Hannah explained.

"Yui-Efu?" Hinata tried.

"U-E-F, short for United Earth Federation, in one of our two official languages." Hannah corrected with a smile, then ran it through her translator as they exited a door to the outside of the building, the roof, to be specific. "Now that we are out here, could you activate your Psionics and see if you can see anything out there?"

"Um, I don't know what you are talking about." She faked ignorance despite suspecting…

"I believe the Japanese culture calls it 'chakra'. If you are descended from a lost settlement of Japanese culture enthusiasts as we suspect you are, the term should be familiar to you given I can sense your Psionic aptitude." Ariel said simply "I believe you have a specially adapted set of eyes that you could be using?"

"Yes…" Hinata squeaked, not expecting them to have discovered her Byakugan so easily… then again the White Eye bloodline was really quite obvious even at a glance… and they hadn't thought her to be blind…

She pumped chakra to her eyes, and she looked.


A/N: Review Replies!

Venomancer: Why thank you! I like writing crack because it requires somewhat less plot consistency, and asymmetric match-ups produce the most hilarity IMHO.

BH18: Honestly I can cross SupCom with just about any other fandom and have a lot of fun with it. Unfortunately, Hinata managed to transform back before Tobi quite realized that Tora had been on top of him without him noticing, and by the time Hinata could realize she was in danger she was having a chakra overload problem…

REVIEW PLEASE!