Summary: The ninjas (and the Akatsuki) fill out some forms, answering personal questions & revealing some very private information about EACH individual ;)
Note: By the way, even though some of these characters are not willing to engage in sexual activity with the same sex, none of these characters are homophobic. For the sake of the plotline, I have made sure each character is accepting and none of them think it's a big deal or shameful. There is no hetero-normativity in this story. Although most of the characters are straight, they are very accepting of their gay comrades/friends, nonetheless! Enjoy!
The next morning, everyone woke up to Gai's loud yodelling. He had gathered everyone, including the Akatsuki, near the stream for an important announcement.
"Alright my youthful ninjas! Today, we shall begin gathering background information on all of you. This will help us roughly estimate how many of you might be needing the special chakra to create babies from a non-hetero relationship! Also, we can test what your comfort and experience level is so that the experiments will move at a pace that is right for you!"
Kurenai chimed in, "We will be handing these out every once in a while."
Gai handed each ninja a form that they were to fill out.
First Question: How sexually experienced are you?
Very experienced | experienced | somewhat experienced | a little experienced | not experienced at all
Very experienced: has had sex more than twice
Experienced: has had sex once or twice
Somewhat experienced: blowjobs/oral sex, hand jobs, fingering, etc.
A little experienced: making out or hard core kissing
Not experienced at all: self-explanatory
CHARACTER THOUGHTS:
Neji: Well I have fingered a girl once and she gave me a handjob in return, but I'm still a virgin so I'll write down somewhat experienced.
Sasuke: Um, let me think. I haven't had any sexual interactions with a girl before so should I write not experienced at all? But then again, I have done a few things. It can't possibly count though, right? Like when Naruto and I were going through puberty and we both started getting hard at random times. It was so distracting when we were training, not to mention a little bit painful. After getting a quick glance at Kakashi's Icha Icha book, we decided to try something. He stroked me in the forest and I stroked him in return. It was so long ago though. It's not like I was attracted to him or anything, I just didn't want to do it myself – I am an Uchiha after all! I can't just be jerking myself off. It felt good so we did it a few times after that. But one time, we saw something else in Kakashi's book and we tried it once, but never again, I swear! It was called something like….um…. I forget. Ah yes, it was called oral sex. Naruto sucked on my member but I didn't want to do it to that dobe so I lied and told him that it wasn't pleasurable so we wouldn't have to do it again. But damn, I was lying. It felt so good that I had to struggle holding in my moans. Shit! What's that? [looks down at pants] Oh kami, not again! I always get this huge bulge when I think about that one time. But I'm not gay, I swear!
Rock Lee: Well I have been saving my first kiss for Sakura-Chan! Since I haven't gotten my chance yet, sadly, I must write down not experienced at all.
Naruto: Do those times with Sasuke-Teme count? Eh, he's probably gay even though I'm not! I'll write down somewhat experienced just so he doesn't feel alone. But I'm not gay!
Shikamaru: This is such a bother. Eh, well one time Ino wanted to try something with me and she put her mouth on my member, then sucked it hard. I guess that means somewhat experienced.
Chouji: What does all of this stuff even mean? Wait, so that's what Shikamaru was talking about! Thank Kami, I'm not experienced with this gross stuff.
Kiba: I've had sex once so, experienced it is!
Shino: Not experienced at all, and I don't want to be either. Ew.
Sai: I've engaged in this so-called sexual intercourse before. Is it when you stick your member into a girl? Yes, I've done that three times because I wanted to mimic that Icha Icha book that Kakashi told me to follow. He said that's what normal teenagers do. But I didn't feel any emotional attachment. Well, I guess it still counts anyway. Very experienced, it is!
Gaara: I want to say inexperienced but one time, this girl came up to me and kissed me. I didn't know what to do because she put her tongue into my mouth and started moving it around. Is that making out? I guess I am a little experienced.
Kankuro: I've had sex like four times, so very experienced. I can't tell Gaara though.
Deidara: Haha, I've done all of these things. Very experienced, un.
Sasori: Why would anyone want to do these things? I mean, I obviously know how to do them. Playing with girls is like playing with puppets and I'm a master at that. But they seem like a distraction from important missions. However I used to talk to those annoying fangirls that stalked me before I joined the Akatsuki. And after all, I did finger them to determine the female anatomy for puppet making. But sexual intercourse, itself seems so unnecessary. Somewhat experienced and not complaining.
Kisame: I've had sex before I joined the Akatsuki – no big deal. Very experienced.
Itachi: Why is this even relevant? *blushes* Just because I haven't done it, that doesn't mean that I'm not skilled at it. But I've fingered girls and received hand jobs, received and given oral sex, so somewhat experienced.
Hidan: Is this even a question? Obviously, very experienced.
Pein: Sex is the only time two people can be rough and fight for dominance, but still reserve the peace. It never fails to amaze me so of course, I used to put my skills to good use back when I had the time, very experienced.
Tobi: Oh man. I wonder what deidara-senpai will write down. A naughty fellow he is. I do occasionally have sexual experiences with Rin so, very experienced!
Temari: I wish had the time to do at least some of these things before this experiment. God, I'm so embarrassing. I haven't kissed a guy since I was fifteen! Well, inexperienced it is.
Ino: Ha! This is my strong point. Very experienced!
Hinata: *blushes deeply* inexperienced.
Sakura: Inexperienced but I'd rather wait longer just to be with my Sasuke-kun!
TenTen: I've been fingered and I gave a guy a handjob with my eyes closed haha, God that is embarrassing. Um, at least I'm not too inexperienced so I'll write down somewhat experienced.
Konan: I haven't had sex in ages! But still, I have done it more than twice – very experienced.
Question #2: How willing are you to engage in sexual activity with the same sex?
willing (threesomes count)| open-minded | not willing
willing: I think I would probably enjoy it just as much as if it were the opposite sex
open-minded: maybe I would like it. Maybe I would not.
Not willing: self-explanatory
Neji: uhh, I don't think I play like that. So not willing.
Sasuke: Well, I've done it before so willing. I mean, I'm not gay though! I'm just being considerate and thinking about my clan here!
Rock Lee: Hm, well you never know until you try so open-minded.
Naruto: Willing! I'm only saying this to be supportive of Sasuke's closeted sexuality.
Shikamaru: I feel like with boys, I would be expected to do too much work. So troublesome. Not willing.
Chouji: I'm not even comfortable doing half of this stuff with a girl. Not willing!
Kiba: A threesome sounds hot. Willing.
Shino: Many species of bugs do not even have a gender or a sexual preference in a mate. And they seem to be such intelligent creatures. Open-minded.
Sai: Why not? Willing.
Gaara: I don't think so. Not willing.
Kankuro: Not willing.
Deidara: Human bodies are art – male and female. Willing, yeah.
Sasori: I don't see a difference. Willing.
Kisame: Eh, what could possibly go wrong? Willing.
Itachi: I don't think I could be sexually attracted to a guy. Not willing.
Hidan: Threesomes are sexy. Willing as hell!
Pein: Open-minded.
Tobi: Not willing. Rin is all I need.
Temari: Um, why not? Boys are such a pain sometimes. Willing!
Ino: Yes, I am so ready to experiment. Willing!
Hinata: Um, I don't think I could. I'd be too self-conscious. Not willing.
Sakura: What could go wrong? Open-minded.
TenTen: I've always wanted to try it so willing!
Konan: Willing.
