I own nothing expecialy not Harry Potter
Harry was not happy. While he knew that the explosion was beautiful there was not enough fire. He thought back to the advice that his Uncle Sam gave him, "shoot it till its dead and just to be sure, light it on fire to see if your friend is just faking it". Harry knew why lighting things and people on fire was good, it gave you something to cook marshmallows on and always them an interesting taste. He jushed wished he could go on some of the field trips his uncle went on, they were bound to be fun, unfortunately Uncle Sam said the Military wouldn't let him come saying something about child killing machines. Coming to a decision harry knew he should write him to ask for advice.
Harry took a piece of paper out and began to write
Dear Uncle Sam,
thanks for the C-4 you sent me I really enjoyed it and my friend Hagrid was so happy he let out screams of joy. I hope you and Aunt Petunia are having a good time and uncle Vernon is behaving himself after the last talk you had with him, though I am still wondering what the baseball bat, duct tape, salt, and a rubber ducky was necessary for the chat. Before I get to distracted I was hoping you could tell me how to make a homemade flamethrower, I realised that learning to make one myself could be a big lesson for me but I want to avoid lighting myself on fire, that Girl Hermione is still screaming at me for the small accident I had with a can of hairspray and lighter. Sure I burnt her clothes off in the middle of the great hall but it was an honest mistake I swear, and Draco's hair did go up in flames like I thought they would.
Love Harry
Harry quickly ran to see his owl to send the letter off. He just couldn't wait for a response. He departed the owlery and headed back to the Gryffindor Common Room.
As our pyroman… I mean brave hero entered the common room he accidently bumped into the one person he was trying to avoid, Hermione Granger. He wished she would get over the little fire incident, she was annoying enough without being angry at him. Sometimes he wished he didn't save her life that day, but thought that if he didn't that would make him a bad person. It took a whole magazine from his Beretta before the troll went down and he was just lucky the teachers didn't know what a pistol was or they would have confiscated it.
"Watch where you're going monster" Hermione snarled at him
"Don't make me light you on fire again" Harry replied with a smile.
Hermione flinched and ran off, probably to the library Harry thought, He was just glad she had no idea about the flamethrower project he wanted to do, she would probably flip. Then again maybe she would leave school if he let it slip. Then again she would probably try and tell a teacher.
Time Skip
It was 2 months later and Harry was excited, he finally finished his flamethrower. He rushed out to Hagrid's hut to convince him to come along by saying he wanted to meet the big spiders in the forest to "show them his gift to them". As usual Hagrid Quickly agreed thinking it a nice show of affection.
As Harry and Hagrid arrived at the spider colony Harry had a thought. The flame thrower might be too dangerous for him to use, he better let Hagrid test it out as nothing can hurt him, all he would have to do is make Hagrid believe that it is specially designed to warm the spiders and not harm them.
Hagrid Believed him, damn Harry loved Hagrid's naivety. Harry watched as Hagrid talked the the Biggest one, it was named Aragog or something, And he saw the loving smile Hagrid shot at the spider as he pointed the nozzle at it. Hagrid pulled the trigger and swept the spray back and forth covering about 100 of the bigger ones. There screams were interesting and the pure shock and agony that shown on Hagrid's face was priceless. Harry took out a bag of marshmallows and began to cook them over the burning corpses as the lovable half giant approached. "See Hagrid, it started a fire to keep all the others warm, do you think they liked it?" Harry spoke up innocently. Hagrid fell to his knees staring at his hands sobbing mumbling "Wha have I don?"
Harry grabbed his flamethrower smiling thinking that it was a good day. Meanwhile Hermione curled into a ball shivering on the library floor.
