As promised, chapter five right away because I'm evil and it was time for this chapter to happen.
To The Stars and Back
Chapter 5; Sleepless Nights
A Fanfiction written by TheObsessory
I couldn't sleep the night it happened. That should have been an omen.
I laid in my bed, warm, comfortable, but unable to sleep. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink that would have done this to me and I hadn't slept in too late the morning before. I was perplexed.
Instead, I laid in bed and looked around my room. It was dimly lit in case I had to get up in the middle of the night. While I did like sleeping in a completely dark room, in fact it was preferable, and had no fear of the darkness, I often had to get up to go to the restroom, and had had my fair share of facial collisions with the wall and the odd toe stubbed.
I looked at my pictures that hung on the gray walls as I waited for sleep to take me.
It had been five months since we moved to Yavin 4, and about eight months since my mother died. I was drawing again. A little for Shara and Kes, a little for my father and a little for Poe, but mostly for myself.
I had made a new family now.
There was always father holding little Cerys. She was getting old now- old enough to crawl and coo and smile -and she always smiled at me. Despite how much she looked like mother, and despite how sad I still got, I loved her. Whenever Shara, Kes and Poe came over, Shara went straight for Cerys. You could see how much she loved playing with her.
Sometimes I even drew Shara holding Cerys in my family portraits. Shara, Kes and Poe were always part of them. I had asked my dad once about a month ago if he ever planned on remarrying. He told me no, so I didn't feel so bad making Shara and Kes and Poe part of our family. Kes was the dad that didn't have to be strict with me, Shara was the mother that had come to help me when the first one left. And Poe? I finally had a best friend, and he lived right next door.
I saw him every day if I could. We were both really excited to start school. Sometimes Poe introduced me to his other friends; some of them I had met when their parents met my father, others lived further away. But none of them stayed for long.
Poe called them his friends, but they never acted like it. I don't think they liked him all that much anyway. I never understood why. He was always so happy and friendly. He always made me laugh. Why couldn't he make them laugh?
"Kohen!"
I sat up to Kes's voice, knocked from my thoughts as the door slammed behind him. The hall light blinked on as Kes jogged by my door, dragging Poe along with him, heading towards my father's room.
I got up from my bed and walked quickly after them, stopping cautiously in the doorway for a few moments before silencing my fears and going after them.
By the time I got there, Cerys was crying, probably startled by the noise as well. Kes was speaking to my father very quickly as my father grabbed his glasses and started to put some shoes on.
"-I don't know what's wrong, but she says she need you, Kohen, and the blood-"
My father held up a hand, silencing Kes as he looked from me to Poe.
"Sidra, can you do something for me?" He knelt before me very quickly, cupping my face with his hands, "Take Cerys and Poe into your room and don't let them leave. Keep them with you. Stay in the house. I'll be back soon."
He kissed my forehead before he left with Kes.
I felt my heartbeat pick up, remembering a very similar night eight months ago. My breathing started to come in ragged, but then I looked to Poe.
The smile that had once held so much life was a thin line. His face was pale. His breath was quiet. He looked like a shell of himself. Had he seen...?
Pushing my own thoughts aside, I picked up a whimpering Cerys from her crib and held her on one of my hips like I had seen Shara do with her so often and grabbed Poe's hand with my free one.
I pulled him to my room and he followed silently.
I laid Cerys on the middle of my bed and pulled the covers up, happy to see her already dozing once more.
I looked back to see Poe standing where I left him, his eyes looking straight through me.
"I'm scared Sid." He whispered.
What could I do? What consolation could I offer him? I couldn't tell him everything was going to be alright because I couldn't lie to him. I knew the truth of it all. And I couldn't tell him that either.
Instead, I walked slowly toward him, wrapped my arms under his and hugged him. It took him a moment, but he was soon hugging me back, his own arms wrapped around my shoulders. He held me tightly, his body shaking slightly. I could tell he was crying. My own grief began to overtake me and I began to cry as well, burying my face against his shoulder.
I was losing another family member.
After a few moments, Poe began to pull away, and I let him, even if I wanted to hold on a few moments longer.
We both sniffed quietly as we rubbed our tears away.
"Is it okay if I stay here tonight." He said quietly after glancing over to where Cerys slept on my bed.
"There's room for all three of us."
This was a slight lie. My bed wasn't nearly large enough for all three of us, but my father had been clear on what he wanted from me. And Poe didn't need to see what I had seen.
Neither of us bothered with blankets as it wasn't particularly cold in the house. Poe curled around Cerys on one side of the bed and I on the other. We both stared into each others eyes for a moment in the dimness, searching for questions neither of us had answers to.
"Can you tell me…" Poe started quietly, his eyes darted away from mine nervously as his fingers played lightly with Cerys baby curls, "What happened the night your mother died."
I felt my throat constrict with mild terror, and I was unsure if this was what Poe needed to hear at this moment, but he had asked.
"My father was working late that night." I started off in a whisper, "His hours were strange. Cerys wasn't due for another week and he thought mother would be fine. There was some complication, I don't know what happened, but it was very late. I was asleep for most of it. But then mother's yelling woke me up. I went to her room, and she was having the baby. But something wasn't right. She told me everything was going to be fine, but she lied to me. I told her I was scared and I wanted to call father, but she said there wasn't any time.
The baby- Cerys was coming too fast. She was in so much pain. She was right, though. Cause before I knew it, she had pulled Cerys out. She was covered in blood and crying so loud and she looked so ugly." I stopped and sniffed, my vision blurred by the tears, "She handed her to me and I held her as mother cut the cord that was still attached to her. But by then she was so weak. I was still holding Cerys when I called father and told him what happened. He came as fast as he could with other doctors and medicine, but mother was gone. She left me behind to hold the baby."
I pushed angrily at the tears with my knuckles, willing the memories to go away again. But the tears kept flowing.
Poe caught and held my hand, squeezing it gently.
"I don't want my mom to die." He whispered, a hint of tears on his voice as well.
I squeezed his fingers back, my voice catching in my throat as I replied.
"I don't want her to die either."
It took us both a long time to fall asleep. And whatever sleep we got was restless.
We were both woken up by Cerys, moving as the morning light broke through the window.
The moment Poe's eyes opened, he launched himself from my bed, running for the front door.
"Poe, wait!" I grabbed for Cerys, holding her a bit clumsily as I hobbled after him.
Although I was much slower holding my baby sister, I found him banging on the front door of his house. It was locked, which was very strange.
"Dad!" Poe's fist beat painfully against the door, causing Cerys to cry at the noise, "Mom!"
"Poe stop." I tried to cover Cery's ear and push the other against my chest to drown out the sound, but the damage was already done and a great deal of crying was happening in my arms.
The door opened rather quickly and Poe fell in the door, ready to race toward his parent's room, but Kes caught him.
"Poe." Kes took his shoulders and held him in place, "You need to stop."
Poe fell quiet as he leaned his head against his father's stomach, sobs wracking his body.
"There was nothing either of us could do." Kes said softly after a minute, tears filling my eyes as well, "She died last night, Poe. And your brother was too small. Bey didn't make it."
I felt a bolt of shock race through my body when Kes said the baby's name. Even if I knew, it was still a surprise. Poe turned to look at me over his shoulder, and the same shocked expression was set in his eyes.
So it's happened, just as Sidra said.
God I wanted more Shara/Sidra time, but I feel like that could have been it's own story entirely. And this is a Poe x Sidra story, so maybe I'll go back and explore their relationship a little more later. But what I wanted, I got across: Sidra wanted desperately for a mother, and got one, even if just for a few more months.
And Sidra, as some of you may have guessed, is mildly force sensitive. You won't see much more of this until the later chapters.
Also, what does Poe know? *shifty eyes*
Anyway, I'll give you all a little sneak peaks for the next chapters from now on cause why not?
Chapter 6: Poe and Sidra begin school and Poe admits why he was so shocked at the end of this chapter.
See you all next week!
~TheObsessory
