"You don't need to stay," Howard told Raj. Both sat in the waiting room.

"Actually, I do. I promised Bernadette I'd be in the delivery room when she gave birth."

Howard's eyebrows lifted. "What?"

One of the double doors opened and Amy breezed in. "Did I miss it?" she asked, approaching her friends.

"No."

She sat. "Why aren't you with her?"

"I was," Howard answered. "A doctor asked me to leave. But I think something's off, because they had already examined her."

"You think correctly," the voice behind him made them all flinch. The doctor added, "I'm sorry, but your wife was only experiencing false labor."

"So soon?" Howard asked. "The baby's not due for three more months."

"These things happen," she told him. "Remember, you don't have to bring her in until her water breaks."

"It didn't?" Howard asked. "So what was all over..." He paused as he realized. "Ohhh."

Raj made a face.

"Can I see her? Can she go home?"

"Yes, to both questions. But it's hospital regulation to bring injured, surgical, or pregnant patients out by wheelchair, so you'll be here a few moments longer. She's in thirteen, that way," she added, as she turned and walked away.

"Will you come with me?" Howard asked.

"Of course," Amy and Raj both answered. The trio moved down the hallway and into the thirteenth room. Clothed in a hospital gown, Bernadette sat on the gurney, clutching her discharge papers. Upon seeing her friends enter the room, her face suddenly went red and she looked away.

Howard looked at his friends. "Actually, uh, will you wait in the hall?"

They ducked outside and Howard slowly closed the door, muttering his thanks. He turned to face his wife, who reluctantly met his gaze. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Embarrassed," she answered.

He went to her without telling his feet to move. "You don't have to be," he tried to assure her. "If you recall, I had many an embarrassing moment with my mother, including bladder leaks that had nothing to do with pregnancy," he added, making her eyes shoot up to him. "I promise, this is really nothing to me."

"Do Raj and Amy know?"

"Well," he floundered.

Bernadette scowled. "So much for doctor-patient confidentiality. What about the others?"

"I don't know. They didn't get here, not yet; you'll have to ask Amy and Raj."

"I might as well, they already know I wet myself. I might as well scream it from the rooftops."

"I don't care. You're still the beautiful woman fathering my child I want to spend the rest of my life with." He offered his hand.

She took it and slid off the gurney. "Thanks, Howard."

He kissed her forehead. When he withdrew, he asked, "What's in the bag?"

"My clothes. The hospital's allowing me to wear the gown home, but I have to return it tomorrow."

He picked the bag up and and as one they walked to the door. Bernadette's short-lived smile faded when she saw Amy and Raj. There was an uncomfortable silence before Bernadette finally said, "Okay, we're all thinking it. I peed myself. Can we move on?"

"Sorry, sorry," a flummoxed Raj said. "I just...I haven't been around somebody who did that since kindergarten."

"It's not like I tried!" Bernadette chirped, her voice thick with hostility.

"I know..." he said slowly. "But...it's like...on the floor right now."

"Hey," she barked, "I may have something comin' outta my frontal in a few weeks, but I can still put somethin' in your adjacent!"

"Whoa, sor-reee." Raj held up his hands in surrender and began to walk back down the hallway.

Bernadette calmly brushed her hair and smiled at the scared doctor who passed by.

Amy finally made herself speak. "Come on, let me buy you a sundae."

Howard and the ladies walked after Raj.

-0-0-0-0-
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally, right? Sorry for the delay.