"I think I've heard more from my friends since I've lived here than I did when I lived with one," Leonard mused.
Penny smiled and pushed him off. "You live here, too; you answer the door."
He obliged, pulling it open. "What?"
"Your mother just broke up with me," Sheldon said miserably.
Leonard's brows furrowed. "I see. And does Amy know you're available now?"
"She's cutting up our photograph and deleting my contact information as we speak," Sheldon continued, sounding wounded.
"What did you do?" Penny asked expectantly.
"I may have said something to insult therapists at a session of Dr. Freeman's that involved hurting Amy's feelings," he answered. "And Beverly caught wind of it and she's furious."
"Buddy," Leonard said, "I hate to break it to you, but it's a normal workday when relationship therapy gets hurtful. Have you ever seen Couples Retreat?"
"No."
"Good. Don't. It's horrible. Basically you roll with the punches, because in the long run...they know their work and they want to help."
Sheldon eyeballed him. "You respect therapists?"
"Well, yeah."
"Is that why you and your mother are so inseparably close?"
The door closed in his face.
"I just thought you of all people would know how to deal with it!" Sheldon called through the door, but he received no response. He turned to look at Amy.
"Come here, Sheldon," Amy said, sounding frustrated. "It's time again for you to be a student." She held the door open wide and stepped back.
He walked toward and into 4A and closed the door as Amy set up the whiteboard. "I'm going to write down several scenarios; and you tell me how you would react to them. And then I tell you why you're wrong."
Sheldon sat down and drank his tea while Amy wrote in silence. Finally she capped the marker and stepped aside.
He surveyed the board, trying to pick the scenario that most appealed to him.
"Top to bottom," Amy ordered succinctly.
He looked at the words long and hard. "Well, when my pet died, and people tried to comfort me, I just wanted them to go away. Each pet I had was my only real friend. My sister and I weren't really close, and I didn't have any friends at school, either. So...I would tell them I was sorry for their loss."
"And then what?" Amy asked.
Sheldon shrugged. "It all depends. People react to grief in different ways. This person could want to be alone, or want a shoulder to cry on. I suppose I would ask how I could help."
Amy nodded. "Correct." She erased the top answer. "Next?"
He was silent for a moment. "Well, this one is ambiguous. Did I hurt the friend on purpose, or accidentally?"
"Are you a mean, horrible, vengeful person?"
"No!"
"Then accidentally, of course."
Sheldon sighed. "I would...apologize."
"And?"
"Go about my day. If they want to hold a grudge, that's their problem. I can't make them forgive me."
Amy squinted at him, wondering if he was just saying these things to pass the test. "That's right," she said, and erased the second answer. "Alright, moving on! Time to up the ante." She tapped the marker on the board next to the third option.
Sheldon stared at it as if it were a phobia looking him right in the face. "Save a rival's life," he muttered. "That's a tough one."
Amy shrugged indifferently. "Think of your worst rival, and why exactly you hate him. Think of...what he's said, or done, to get under your skin. Name-calling, swirlies, noogies, pranks...Now he's in great danger, screaming your name, crying for help. Could you save him?"
It took him awhile to answer, but when he did his voice was flat. "No."
Amy shook her head, drawing an X beside the answer. "The correct response is to push aside your personal feelings, and remember that there are people out there who feel differently about him. People who love him very much. To remember that it could have been you."
Sheldon realized he felt humbled by her selflessness. "I see."
Amy smiled as he processed her words.
"Next?"
