Chapter Two: Shelter From the Storm
"You of little faith," Jesus replied, "why are you so afraid?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it was perfectly calm.'-Matthew 8:26

Seth directs her in the opposite direction that he went last time. All things considered, it had been easy for Sonja to find him. His stomach clenches at the memory of the last time he saw her, stake driven though her heart, and hopes against all he knows to be rational that she'll survive this time.

He'd better not see her again or she won't.

Kate drives for hours, humming along with the radio. Once, he thinks, he falls asleep, jerking awake to the sound of imaginary culebra roars. Kate begins to sing church hymns softly, and he drifts off to sleep with her voice chasing away the nightmares.

She stops the car in front of a small, non-descript inn. His head lolls on the headrest as he watches her check them in through the window. She swims in his vision and, though he tries, he can't stop the whimpers that pour from his lips.

He's still whimpering later when he leans heavily against her as she half-carries, half-drags him to their hotel room. She dumps him on the bed and he sighs, rolling on his back as he sinks into the mattress.

"Keep the bullets out of the gun," he murmurs. "Until I finish." She nods, taking both their pistols and disarming them. She does it quickly with unwavering hands, and he feels a stab of guilt at the fact he is the reason she is no longer the peaceful preacher's daughter. The room is an ugly yellow color, miles away from the blue-green of their last room. The door is still open, sunlight pouring in and surrounding Kate. She sits next to him after setting the bullets aside, her hands cupping his face.

"Look at you," she says almost sadly. "You're a mess." He panics-please be real please berealpleasebereal, his mind screams-and he grabs her hands in his. He smiles drunkenly when he feels the warm soft weight of them beneath his palms.

"I'm not gonna leave you," he slurs. "I'm never gonna leave you again." She smiles back at him, brushing hair out of his face. She moves to stand, and he clenches her hands tighter.

"Don't leave," he pleads.

"I'm not," she promises. "I'm just going to shut the door." He lets her hands go, and watches her. He half expects her to leave, but she just closes and locks the deadbolt. She's still surrounded by sunlight, even in the darkness of the hotel room.


He tries to sleep, but sleep runs from him. He takes in shallow shuddering breaths, and the pounding of his heart drowns out everything else. He sees Kate sitting at the table by the window, looking at him with worried eyes over the brim of her Culebra bible. He sees a shadow hanging over her shoulder, and moans. The Regulator glares at him from the window, his eyes burning over Kate's shoulder, and Seth pushes himself off of the bed. He stumbles just as the Regulator kicks the door open.

"Your brother, Mr. Gecko," he hisses. Seth stumbles back but it isn't enough. The Regulator grabs Seth by the neck, squeezing the life out of him. His eyes cut cruelly to Kate, who simply sits in horror. He pulls his shotgun out, aiming it at Kate's head.

"This one I don't need," he rumbles.

"No, NO!" Seth screams, throwing himself into the shot. He hears Kate screaming his name and, oh God, she's bleeding out, he can see her heart. He kneels down, crawling to her, and tries to shove her organs back inside of her but she is dead, dead, dead, and looking at him with glassy eyes that whisper "I don't forgive you I don't forgiveyouIdon'tforgive-"

"SETH!" He gasps, jerking out of the bed. He stumbles to the table, catching himself against it. He looks underneath his arm to see Kate perched on the edge of the bed, her brow furrowed in worry. He takes in deep, gulping breaths as he looks to see the door still tightly latched, whole and unbroken. He grabs the edges of the table to keep from falling over.

"Fuck," he whispers as Kate's hands support him underneath his armpits. She pushes a chair underneath him and he collapses onto it. "Why can't I have any?"

"You threw it out," she says quietly.

"For you!" he snaps. At the hurt expression on her face, he buries his face in his arms. "I just need a hit, just one to tide me over. Katie, please-"

"Seth," she says, firmly but not unkindly. "You need to get clean. I wouldn't know where to get you some anyway." He chokes back a sob, taking in a deep, gulping breath. She pulls up a chair next to him, and begins to rub the small of his back.

"It hurts," he whimpers.

"I know," she says, her other hand going to her shoulder. He looks up, putting his hand on her arm.

"I can't hurt," he says. "I'm on the clock, here."

"Seth, you just need time to recover." He shakes his head back and forth, a manic eye alight in his eyes.

"No, no, no, I'm on the clock," he says. He pulls the pistol out of the bag on the table. He begins to dismantle it, with shaking hands, and hears the ticking of his father's stopwatch. He lays his hands on the table, and his father hits him because it wasn't fast enough. He flinches, rubbing his forehead and pulls back with blood on his palm. He looks down to see a human heart, ripped in pieces in front of him. He works frantically to put it back together-it's Kate's heart, he's broken her heart, it's all his fault. He closes his eyes-I've done this before it's not real it'snotreal-he thinks. He opens his eyes to see the gun in front of him, neatly put back together. He smiles at Kate, and she smiles too. Her eyes flash red, and her smile turns into an ugly smirk. He grabs the gun, hearing Kate screaming at him to end it, but she reaches for him and he drops the gun.

"I can't do it. I can't hurt her. I can'tIcan'tIcan't-"He closes his eyes.

"Seth!" He jerks, expecting her to run him through but all he feels are warm hands on his biceps. He opens his eyes to see Kate's blue ones looking at him concernedly, the light still in her eyes. She's as she was, as she should be, and he pulls her by the shoulders into him. He clings to her, shaking like a scared child. She hugs him tightly to her. He buries his face in her shoulder, smelling the scent of her shampoo. He knows he must stink like fear and a lifetime of bad decisions. His skin feels sticky, and he pulls away so he won't drown her in his sweat. She keeps her arms around him, softly shushing him and he limply leans forward, his head pressed against her shoulder.

She begins singing softly again and his eyes drift closed at the sound of her voice.

"A shade by day, defense by night,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
No fears alarm, no foes afright,
A Shelter in the time of storm."

As she sings, she leads him back to the bed. He collapses on the mattress and, mindlessly holding on to her, pulls her down with him.

"Stay," he mutters, and she does.


PS How awesome was the Season 3 finale, right?