It took a while for NCIS to rebuild to its original state, but now, just over a month since the bombing, it's all fixed up and much to Gibbs' frustration, Ari is nowhere to be found. I got here a little early this morning to work on finding him, because I was too busy to this weekend. I had dinner with my sister, who was in town to do all our psych evaluations, Friday night. I also finally had the ultrasound that Ducky set up for me on Saturday morning. I told Ducky that he didn't need to come because Tony promised to be there, but Tony never showed, much to my disappointment and he wasn't answering his cell. The baby is perfectly healthy, but I didn't want to find out the gender- I want him or her to be a surprise. I am now waiting for Tony to come in so I can talk to him about missing the ultrasound.
I frown as Tony comes into work, wearing dark clothing, sunglasses on, and hat, with a fast food bag in one hand and a Slurpee in the other. I watch as he shuffles in, and fury rises in my throat.
He's hung over. I've watched him walk in every morning for over a year. I know his walk when he's in a slump with women. I know his shuffle when he's hung over. I know his skip when he's spent the weekend with a woman. I know his step when he is annoyed that a weekend or late-night call interrupted his plans. Now, I am absolutely positive he's spent the weekend with someone, which is why he missed the doctor's appointment, and why he's hung over.
I storm right over to him and rip off his sunglasses and hat.
"How dare you?" I cry
"What?" he says, taking a half step back, his eyes are hard and cold.
"You missed the doctor's appointment Saturday." I sigh, looking up at him in disappointment.
His eyes grow wide and he says "Kit-Kat-"
"Don't call me that." I snap at him
"Kate. I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mind!" he apologizes,
"I might – might – have accepted that apology if the reason you weren't there was genuine ignorance, but you weren't there because you were spending the weekend drinking with your friends and sleeping with different women!" I yell
"What! That's not true! How would you even tell?" he defends
I rip open his jacket and press my finger into a bruise on his neck that could only be a hickey.
" How about that?" I snarl "Or the fact I can tell you're hung over, or the way you smell like another woman's perfume. That's some sort of flower. I wear vanilla, always. You promised me, you'd be here for me. You said you loved me. You said you were going to be a proper father to our baby." I say, tears coming to my eyes
"Your baby!" he yells back "I didn't want a baby! I didn't want this! Do you think I said that because I wanted to? No! I did it because it's morally correct, but there's only so long I can go on with this charade before I cracked! I love you, Kate, but I don't think I can be a Dad. It's just not going to work. My Dad was terrible, because I was born through similar circumstances. He married the fling he knocked up and they never stopped fighting, the only thing that ever connected them was me, and they refused to split for my sake. When my Mom died, of cancer, when I was ten, my life fell apart. Though the fighting stopped, there was no more comfort in my life, and now I have an awful relationship with my Dad. I refuse to be that person in the baby's life."
"You have to be! I can't do this on my own and damn your childhood to hell! You don't have to marry me! All I want is the security that you'll show up at the doctor's appointments and birthday parties, that you'll teach him how to dribble a basketball or protect her from all the boys like you! I want to know that you'll come to his baseball games or her ballet performances. I want to count on you to be there to take her prom photo, or comfort his broken heart. Be there for me and our son or daughter in a way your father never was." I cry
"I can't Kate! This is too much for me. I can't – and won't. Kate, I can't afford to help you raise the baby. I can't give up my glory years for the baby. You, yes. But not a baby." He finishes
I stare at him, mouth open with shock and hate and disappointment.
I slap him across the face, which stings my hand but feels so good. I already see a red handprint growing on his cheek.
I turn to head back to my desk, and see that everyone in the bullpen is staring at us.
I whip my head around, glaring at them, and they all become busy in their work.
"Kate! McGee! Get going!" Calls Gibbs as he comes down the stairs. "We've got a hit on our BOLO. You're heading to Ardsley; I already sent you the address. Grab your gear."
"What about me boss?" asks Tony
"I don't know, Dinozzo. Why don't you go see where he's going now!" snaps Gibbs, and Tony trips over his own feet in his effort to get back to his desk.
I grab my vest, my badge, my phone, backpack, jacket and gun and follow McGee into the elevator.
Per usual, we suit up there so we don't waste time in front of Gibbs. It makes me happy that he's letting me go into the field. He's kept me as a desk agent since the bombing and I was going stir crazy.
I decide to throw my badge in my jacket pocket, as I can't wear belts anymore. McGee's ready to go, but I've become much slower at this. I flush with embarrassment when I try to pull on my bulletproof vest. I can get it on until it hits my stomach, but because where my arms have to be positioned for me to pull it over my head, I can't reach to yank it over my stomach, which has grown a lot more since the last time I was in the field. I pull it off and look at McGee, my face heating up.
"McGee?" I mutter
"Yeah Kate?" he says as we step off the elevator.
"Will you help me get on the vest?" I mumble, looking down at my swollen stomach.
"Oh-um, sure Kate." He stutters, but says nothing else, to my gratitude.
He helps me slip it over my head and yank it down over my stomach; making it almost too hard to breath it's so tight.
I'm going to need a bigger vest.
McGee also helps me tighten it everywhere else. When he finishes, he steps away, and we continue walking.
"Thank you." I whisper, still embarrassed.
"No problem Kate." He says, and then he drops the subject. "So, where are we going?"
I pause a moment, his graciousness towards me gives me a whole new respect for him. After all the months I've spent teasing him, and giving him zero room for mistakes and embarrassing things, when I needed his help, he helped. He was even kind enough to drop the topic, understanding and respecting my embarrassment.
I give him a hug, mentally cursing my hormones.
He freezes for a moment, before he gives me a hug back.
"Thanks, Tim." I say, calling him his first name on purpose.
"No problem, Kate." He smiles
Then, moving on, I open my phone.
"The mall." I say with a slight chuckle.
