Gabe slide down the door his back had been pressed into, a hand slapped to his mouth as he gasped through a panic attack.
Don't think, don't think, don't think. He chanted in his head, "Gabe." Gabriel shook his head trying to shake the nightmare he had lived through away. He was an archangel, he was strong, he should not be breaking down in his room when the one person he wanted to talk to was outside his door.
He had been saved. So why did he still feel trapped?

"Gabe I'm sorry."
Gabe shook his head again. Sam shouldn't be sorry, it wasn't his fault Gabriel was so weak, so broken. It was his fault, he should have fought harder...shouldn't have given in so early. Gabe knew it was his fault he was arrogant thinking himself indestructible.

He wanted to open the door and tell Sam that it wasn't his fault. He wanted to sleep through the night with out bothering his brother ,who he had become too dependant on. But he knew that he would flinch at Sam's touch and cry silently through the night without his little brother.
He heard Sam's retreating footsteps, sounding so familiar and he couldn't stop the memory about to ambush his mind...

"Look who came to play, slut." the same male demon who had tormented him for hours sneered and banged on the bars to rouse Gabriel from his spot on the dingy floor. Weak and silent he looked up at a tall brunet with hazel eyes and long almost shoulder length hair standing in the entry of the cell. All the breath left his body. This...was it real?
"S...Sam?" he was here. Gabe was safe. Sam would save him and take him away from these filthy demon's. Hope surged in Gabe's chest as he scrambled to his knees with a smile, all the naïve joy showing on his face as he watched the hunter enter his prison. He had spent too long here and his mind had started holding on to stupid things. He had even been greatful when they had thrown a scrap of cloth at him ,that barley covered hi chest, as a blanket. The joy he had felt at that was immense.

Sam smiled but... It wasn't the way Sam usually smiled ,not that he took any notice, and it was more of a snarl than a smile. But Gabe's mind told him not to think of that and only to focus on the fact Sam was here, here to take him away and save him.
"Gabey." Sam mocked him with a smile, only Gabriel now knew this wasn't Sam. Sam wouldn't mock him or call him Gabey, but his desperate mind told him to shut up; this was Sam he was here to take him away and make him better.
"Look at the good slut on his knees." Sam laughed and his left hand gripped Gabriel's too long hair, Gabriel's face twisted and a scream forced it's way out of his tired lungs and throat. Coppery blood was on the tip of his tongue from screaming his throat raw and...others things being done to it. Sam, or should he say fake Sam, pushed him to the floor and kicked his already broken body until dark bruises bloomed on his skin and white hot sparks of pain erupted behind his eyes, fake Sam was still smiling "Where's the powerful Archangel? Nothing but a worthless slut, only thing your worth is to serve us." Gabriel cried out as fake Sam's foot crashed down on his leg...

Gabe cried silently. He wanted Cas, he wanted Amiel. They would protect him from his own poisonous mind, he wouldn't have to be afraid anymore.
Gabe lept up and fumbled with the door before realising it was locked, he dug in his hands in his pocket ignoring them as they shook. Finally his hand wrapped around the cold metal key to his door and the shaking stopped; his hands held the key firm and he unlocked the door.

Was Sam really gone or was he waiting for Gabriel to come out? After all Gabe needed to eat now, was that his plan?
Shaking his head he reminded himself that Sam was safe and he was being stupid.

Slowly Gabe inched the door open until he could peak out at the empty corridor. He tried to remind himself this was the real Sam, not the fake one. The fake hurts. real Sam heals.
"Sam?" he whispered then shook his head "Stupid, he's in the library." Gabe scolded himself as he cautiously entered the corridor.

Gabe didn't want to talk about what had happened to him, but his thoughts kept circling back to the hell he had gone through. He liked sitting with Sam, Sam was calm and peaceful despite all he had gone through and Gabe felt safe in his presence.

Well not as safe as he would like, his mind knew Sam was not going to hurt him but he still panicked when he had snuck up on him and his mind would flicker back to that moment when his hope had died.

Gabe continued his journey to the library but Sam wasn't there either.
He started to panic. Had Sam left him because he was so broken? He shook his head, that was ridiculous. Sam wouldn't leave, this was his home.
Suddenly his stomach made loud gurgling sound and he knew he needed to find Sam, Sam was the only one who could cook something edible. Maybe that was where he had gone, to get food.
Gabe knew it was fucked up that he ran from Sam but when he was away from him Gabe had wanted him back. Gabe frowned at his own mind, it was a such a chaotic mess he didn't know what issue to address first so he just pushed it aside for another time.

First Sam.

xxx

"Fuck sake, what is wrong with me?" Sam growled at his reflection. Cold hard sink almost crushed underneath his tight grip, knuckles almost as white as the ghosts he hunts from the pressure he was putting on it. "You don't just grab a guy who was abused." he lowered his head. How could he have been so stupid? In his haste for an answer he had forgotten the trauma Gabriel had locked ,not so tightly, away. He knew Gabe was bottling most of it up, all the hurt and pain but he didn't know how to make it better.
Sam snorted at himself "Yeah, when have I ever made anything better." he muttered hatefully.
Suddenly his phone rang snapping him out of the puddle of self hate he knew he was drowning in. "Hi Cas."
"Sam, I will be unable to get back until tomorrow. I have sent Amiel in my place." Cas stated forgoing the pleasantries.
Sam gave a weary sigh and scrubbed at his face "Sure, I'll tell Gabe." he said opening the bathroom door. Great now he didn't have Cas to make sure Gabe was ok and stopping Sam from making things worse.
"Um...goodbye Sam."
"Bye Cas, wait..." but Cas had already put the phone down. Who the hell was Amiel? from the name he assumed this Amiel was another angel, why would Cas send her otherwise. Slipping his phone back in his pocket Sam decided it was time to cook, at least he could do that properly.

What he found however, was Gabe curled on the floor next to the couch. He was shaking and Sam was sure it wasn't cold, "Gabe?"
Gabriel lifted his head and turned to look at Sam. Sam couldn't believe or understand, Gabe's eyes were puffy and red with tears dripping down his face as he looked as if he had been crying, that much was clear, but why? Sam had left him alone when Gabe had run to his room like he wanted. "You...you didn't leave." Gabe muttered still shaking, "Didn't leave me." Sam's heart nearly broke at that.
It was getting hard to remember Gabriel as a proud trickster archangel and the dick that killed his brother over 100 ways. This creature who needed Sam even though they had tortured him with Sam's image.
Gabe had huddled into himself as fresh tears fell "I thought...I thought." he sobbed. Sam quickly knelt beside him to offer some form of comfort for the hurting Ex-angel.
"Gabe, can I hug you?" he asked watching Gabe's face. The ex-angel seemed to think for a minuet before nodding ad Sam enveloped him in a hug, the other man cautiously wrapped his arms around Sam as he buried his face in Sam's chest letting out a breath. "I thought you wanted me to leave you alone, I'm sorry." Sam muttered into the golden hair, that he really needed to cut for Gabe.
"I did. I thought I did, but then...then I remembered. I'm sorry, I'm sorry...broken...useless and broken." Gabe muttered into Sam's chest and the tall hunter couldn't help but squeeze him in reassurance.
"Hey, you hungry?" He asked the ex-angel.
Gabe slowly nodded his head and Sam gave a small smile.

He'd help Gabe get better. They'd do it together.


AN: Sorry it's not as long as it usually is but things came up and I haven't been able to write lately. Hope this makes up for it though, Gabe hugs anyone?