Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story except Cedric's character. And it's a good thing that this isn't made on YouTube or else it'd probably get claimed by some company who's sole business was stealing monetization. I still don't get any money but still. On the other hand I'd probably get some actual attention there. But then again YouTube comments are a wretched hive of scum and villainy. And now I'm just rambling. The point is give this story some love.
Chapter 7: Clowns n Vikings n Demons, Oh My! Part 2
Normally circus tents were supposed to be a symbol of joy and happiness for all who would enter them. However for a small percentage of the population it meant a symbol for parody, as what really laid inside was a horror attraction. But neither of these descriptions accurately described what was going on in the tent.
As at that moment two clowns swung from very loosely tied ropes of thread. Tyler maneuvered carefully around the obstacle course at first not to fall into a pit filled with his absolute worst fear in the world. Unfortunately for the jock, his clumsy nature he quickly found himself tied up into a knot, consistently shocking himself with one of the low voltage electrical wires Chris has previously claimed were hidden inside the ropes.
Cedric however, didn't even seem to be doing the challenge correctly. The serial killer was currently in his own little demon world at the moment, having deliberately tied his feet to an electrical wire and using it to sit-ups where he pressed his tongue against the wire, sending painful shocks through his immortal body. Not that Cedric really seemed to mind though.
"Hey Red, you should try this! It's quite invigorating actually." Cedric cried to the tied up jock from his upside down position.
"I've been trying it against my will for the past 10 minutes bro, and I can't say I like it."
Upon hearing the pained words of the electrocuted jock, Cedric chortled and tried his best to imitate Tyler's stereotypical jock accent to himself "Hey Cedry the Mad Beanpole. I'm very dumb and can't get myself out of a high school trap designed by a television personality with the charisma of Donald Trump, and the intelligence quotient of a diner plate of hash browns. Can you please help my tiny brain out. Also the demon in your head is incredibly sexy."
Cedric then switched voices to another poor imitation of Cody "Sure thing Tyler! Us idiots have to stick together. I'm Beanpole and I act overly confident in my luck with my luck with women and my general masculinity to gain respect, probably because my father didn't hug me enough."
The only response Tyler had to this seemingly insane line of words was a confused stare, showing Tyler was given the impression he had gone crazy. Once he was done with his depreciation of the two, Cedric cut himself free and swung over to his trapped pawn, humming "In the Hall of the Mountain King".
"La la la la la la la, la la la, la la la. La La La La La La La La, singing Mikey's song!"
"Now there Tyler, we are ready to operate on your condition. It's only fair that I warn you have no idea what I'm doing when I'm getting you out this." Cedric said as he prepared to screw around with one of the wires.
"Say what now?"
After a few more minutes of the clown demon cluelessly playing with the hidden wires in the threads, he came to a halt of pulling out two blue and red wires from the web of strings "Now here's your problem. You haven't connected these two positive and negative wires together. For the record we all know what this is going to do, but we can't see if it's scientifically accurate because the author of this story doesn't feel like getting arrested by the FBI."
Just as predicted by Cedric, touching the ends of the wires together created a massive electrical explosion which sent the pair of literal and figurative clowns in the direction of the ending platform. While Tyler had a very painful sounding sliding face-plant onto the platform, Cedric had a clean sitting landing…onto the Tyler.
"Nice job breaking the fall with your face Red! Wish I'd thought of that."
Confessional:
Tyler: "I think that getting rejected by Gwen again might have put a few screws lose in Cody's head.…Just saying."
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Cedric: "Beanpole's good with all that nerdy technological shit, where as I'm a lot better with making intricate plans to create absolute anarchy amongst the human race, torture people to death, and rip their souls out of their body kicking and screaming like little girls. Wait a minute…technology…potato battery…Beanpole…hmmmmm…Eh no worries."
Tyler stood up from the painful ordeal and straightened his back with an audible crack, only to see the next obstacle Chris had set up for them with an anxious cringe. A set of tiny circus balls surrounding a whole group of venomous scorpions in between the grooves of the ball podiums. What disturbed Tyler even more however was when Cedric reached in and grabbed a scorpion by its tail, before eating it whole.
The mad hatter saw the disgust formed on Tyler's face and responded "What? They put these things in lollipops down south! Yeah, Americans can be pretty weird."
"There's no way anyone can be that weird!"
"Have you seen their politics lately?" Cedric joked to the jock before stepping on what appeared to be a small metal cross just lying there on the ground. After a few seconds of standing there it burned straight through his shoe and onto his skin. In response to his screams, Tyler ran up to him doing what appeared to be sign language in his face.
"I have absolutely no idea what you're doing."
"What? Oh sorry man, I took Sign Language for my foreign language credit so sometimes I just slip into it. What caused that burn on your foot?"
"A metal that I'm allergic to. Jergenkilrtistoniumoite." Cedric hastily explained while taking another burn while placing the cross in his pocket "I'll have to ask McTortillia why it was there later. But right now!"
Unexpectedly Cedric pushed Tyler into the pit below them, but luckily for the jock he landed on one of the bouncy balls instead of scorpion pit. He continued this process for about a minute before landing on a hardwood floor out of nowhere. He opened his eyes and rubbed his head from the sudden pain of the landing, only to realize he had inadvertently made it the other side.
"Hey I made it! But what are you going to do?"
"No worries Red, I always have a plan!" Cedric explained before jumping into the pit himself, landing on one of the balls which he used to bounce himself up to the top of the tent. When he was sure he had a tight enough grip, he crawled across the fabric until he was sure he was in a safe spot to land at which point he dismounted. However the landing wasn't perfect and he fell straight on his back.
"You sure are helping me a lot this challenge man. The girls might not be happy about that you know!"
"Oh bollocks on what those broads think of me Red. In case you haven't noticed I've practically been their testing dummy all season. Might as well help the only real friend I have left in the game." Cedric explained with a false smile on his face before running into the next chamber with Tyler following suit.
The next chamber was just as bad as the others with buzz saws, lasers, and BB turrets at all points. By this point both of the clowns were getting annoyed with the lack of faith to the source material "Are you kidding me! I know for a fact that this was never in any circus anywhere!"
"That may be true. But we thought it would be more fun to add those in! Now get your daffodils moving Bozo and Pogo!"
"We might be here awhile."
Confessional:
Cedric: "What? It's not throwing the challenge just to help a friend. Shame on you for thinking such as thing."
Somewhere else in Gothenburg, Duncan wandered angrily around, stomping his feet and growling to show his frustration. He found many of the pieces needed to build his ship already. Along with a black light which he didn't really understand. He would normally be happy that a challenge was going along so smoothly, giving him a safe haven for the week. But he was still highly frustrated at the recent events in his game. He had been played like a pawn, and directly called out for his actions by the one he feared the most. Not that he'd ever admit his fear that is.
"Who does that jackass think he is, saying I need retribution. He already nearly killed me back in juvie; isn't that renough karma already! So what if I cheated on that cow, she deserved it anyways." Duncan grumbled to himself before realizing just how wrong that statement sounded. He ignored and moved onto his other grievance against the demon "And I am not a goody two shoes! I vandalize! I scam people! I burn stuff! But I have never done anything that could mark me as some sort of touchy feely wimp!"
As if to prove some sort of point, Duncan decided to punch a passerby running away quickly from somewhere down the street. He chuckled a little when he saw a large crowd of people looking in shock at what just happened. But instead of horror like he expected, they seemed happy. He wondered why before looking at the man he had knocked out, and saw that he for some reason was carrying a woman's purse. That when he realized: he had just stopped a purse-snatcher.
He looked around in embarresment upon learning of his inadvertent good deed only for a little old Swedish lady to grab her stolen purse and grab the punk into a bone crushing hug "Vad en trevlig ung man!"
When she released him and waddled off Duncan looked around to see that nobody from the show had seen, only to realize that a cameraman had been off to the side, filming the entire thing. Wanting to salvage some of his delinquent image he angrily looked into the camera and growled "That doesn't prove anything!"
"What's wrong with me today. I'm actually worrying about people, but I know that they can just look after themselves. Their needs shouldn't interest me…But Cedric did kill Alejandro earlier. There's nothing stopping him from doing it to Tyler." Duncan started to become more fearful before once again brushing it off "But what do you you care! No skin off your nose…right?"
"Hej grönt hår! Du ser ut som typ lf killen som behöver något desperat!"A man who looked very skeevy and charismatic walked up to Duncan and started to try and persuade him.
"I have literally no idea what you just said."
"Åh är du en amerikansk! Inga bekymmer jag förstår engelska mycket väl. Jag kan inte bara tala det!" The man explained though Duncan still didn't understand "Jag har letat för att sälja denna äkta vikingaskepp för ganska länge nu men jag verkar inte kunna hitta någon som verkar intresserad. Men jag såg dig, och du verkar ha en verklig öga för samlarobjekt!"
The man presented a shiny plastic Viking boat, which was clearly fake as opposed to what the man said in his native language. But luckily for him, Duncan understood little of the language and seemed rather pleased "So you're saying you can sell me that? I can beat the girls there before they've even found a single piece of their boat!"
"Det är precis vad jag säger barn! Alla kostar det is...ten tusen kronor!
Duncan assumed he just wanted money and simply pulled out a few bills and paid them to the con artist. He then ran up to the boat and released it from its platform, riding it as it slid down the icy streets of Gothenburg "Take that you red-eyed freak! This challenge is mine!"
The hustler looked at his newfound money before noticing something he hadn't noticed about the money. He angrily proclaimed "Det lilla fusket gav mig kanadensiska pengar! Jag kan inte använda detta! Han kommer att betala för detta; ingen cons Hunter Abisko!"
Back at the starting point Team Amazon was already waiting with all of the pieces to their ship. Thanks to their greater numbers they were able to cover more ground and get everything faster than Duncan. But they couldn't start building the ship until "Cody" made it out of the tent.
"Where is that loser? If he doesn't get his butt out of that tent soon we're going to lose!" Heather whined much to the annoyance of her semi-ally.
"He's up against Tyler again. Did you forget what happened in Greece? That guy's so clumsy even Cody could beat him."
"I definitely remember what happened in Greece. Everything." Courtney growled in her rival's face, though on the the inside she was practically praying that Tyler would get out before Cody.
Gwen wasn't in the mood for another argument and merely ignored her and turned to Heather "Besides Duncan isn't even here yet, so even if Tyler does make it out first they won't have anything to build their ship with. No Duncan, no ship!"
Just as she said that they heard Duncan screaming from nearby. They looked in the direction of the scream to the punk riding the sliding Viking ship, clearly enjoying the speed and hang time the ship gave him as he hung onto it. The ride finally ended when he crashed into the nearby icy lake.
"You were saying pasty?" Duncan quipped to his girlfriend who gave an amused smile in response.
Heather was certainly not happy about this change of pace and angrily yelled at the host "There's no way he could have built that entire thing on the way down here! He has to have cheated."
"You're right about me not building it. I bought it from some weird guy in town. Real cheap too!" Duncan explained the situation.
"See! He didn't even bother getting all the parts to his boat! We actually did the challenge correctly!" Heather further objected to this, but Chris seemed to care just as little as he always did about bending the rules.
"I think I'll allow. It's only a half hour show and if we made him go back and get the rest of the parts then we would have even more to edit later on. So it looks like Team I'm Sexy and I Know It is at even greater advantage should Cody lose Aga BOOOOOOOOOM!" Chris said before letting out his signature cruel chuckle much to the annoyance of most of the Amazons with the sole exception of Courtney.
"Yes!"
"What was that Courtney?" Heather glared at the girl, still highly suspicious of her recent behavior.
"Nothing, just a sneeze!"
After a mere three seconds left of waiting, a severely exhausted and beaten Tyler collapsed from the flap of the tent, just barely being able to crawl away from the enterance. Not two seconds afterwards a cheerful looking Cedric walked past him still in the middle of this episode's song.
Everybody!
Everyone!
Be a Clown!
It's Lots of Fun!
Let's all prove Stephen King wrong!
If you think you can
Why don't you sing along?!
Cedric then noticed he was on the outside of the tent, and he had completed the challenge. As opposed to Tyler he seemed to have very little injuries on his person, no doubt due to his immortality "Well what do you know, I won!"
"No you didn't! Tyler made it out before and now we have to go to the elimination because of it!"
"Not so fast Heather. This is only Part One of the challenge, in which whoever makes it out of the tent first gets a significant advantage for their team. And besides currently we are still in Part One since neither of them have crossed the finish line yet." Chris pointed to the line painted in the snow in front of the clowns.
Wanting to get on Tyler's good side even more and put his team at further disadvantage, Cedric pulled Tyler up and moved out of his way "Ladies first buddy."
"What!" The Amazons said concurrently when they realized that Cedric was giving away the challenge.
"Wait man. You helped me a lot during this challenge; I think that I should return the favor." Tyler pointed towards the finish line as if telling Cedric to walk across it. Though this was the last thing he wanted to do, he knew that refusing might cause Tyler to break free of his hold. So he crossed the painted line and won the challenge.
"Team Amazon wins Part One of today's challenge!"
Confessional:
Tyler: "I probably shouldn't have blabbed about Cody helping me in front of his team. All of those girls can be pretty scary. But hey, he won so they should be happy about that! And I know Cody is happy about it."
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Cedric: Of all the shitty *bleep* shits! *Bleep* like him are always *bleep * ruining my *bleep* perfect plans. When I get the chance I'll slit his throat and rip it out. That way I can strangle him with and hang it from a tree. Then I'll-
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Duncan: "You've got to be kidding me! How come whenever I work in pairs I'm stuck with the idiot who gives an easy win away for no reason! But why would Cedric give it up like that? It's almost as if he…wanted…our…team…to…win…STUPID!STUPID!STUPID!STUPID! STUPID!"
"No dude, he was literally giving you the win! Why'd you turn it down, we had it in the bag?!" Duncan complained to his teammate as he went ashore.
"Don't worry man, even if they do get an advantage in the next challenge they still have to build there boat first, and we have a full one already."
"Correct you are Tyler. And speaking of the next challenge you can take off your clown makeup now! But not you Cody, you have wear yours for the rest of the challenge as punishment for altering it." Chris informed the two while Tyler happily wiped the makeup off his face and tore the costume off.
PART TWO: Teams will construct their boats from the supplies gathered in Part One-B and sail them into the pond. In the middle of Delsjön Lake a flagged buoy has been laced for the challenge. The two ways to win this challenge are to either retrieve the flag first or destroying the other team's boat with the provided cannons. The winning team of Part One-A will receive 5 of Chef's overcooked meatballs, while the losing team will only receive 3. Those who participated in Part One-A will also act as Captain for the duration of this challenge. As per normal the winning team will spend the night in first class while the losing team risks elimination.
"Wait so Cody will be in charge this challenge?" Heather asked both shocked and angry at this, before turning to see the disguised demon eating a pine cone he had found on the ground "We are in a lot trouble."
"I think Cody will be a great captain!" Sierra proclaimed of the object of her affections.
"Thanks for the compliment Envy, but I don't that we can really go anywhere with our ship not built." Cedric said as if deep in thought, before Sierra charged up to the supplies. Much to the shock of both Team Amazon and Team Chris the fangirl had the ship completely constructed in only a few seconds.
"You've gotta be-" Courtney had to bite her tongue to avoid snapping and revealing her desire to lose the challenge "The greatest ship builder in the world Sierra!"
"Well I am a 5th generation shipwright. My Great-Grandpa made ships for the British Navy back in World War II!" Sierra happily claimed as the other members of her team boarded the ship. Sierra smiled expectantly when "Cody" walked by, to which he merely nodded. This was enough for her, as she squealed with joy.
Despite this Cedric was very unhappy at his plan being sidetracked for the third time that day. If there was one thing that could truly piss him off it was a person screwing with one of his plans. His blood boiled at the mere thought of the last time it really happened, as it had caused the plan to end in failure. The person that made this happen was the one being on this hunk of rock he truly despised. Ignoring his angry thoughts, he noticed that the ship had started to sail already.
"Alrightie then. Unless you've suddenly gone deaf and cured yourself in these last five minutes, then you'll know McBackpack put me in charge of you ladies. I will now assign you your positions on the ship." Cedric said with a grin, pointing to each of the girls as he said there positions "Envy, helmsman. Metallica, navigator. Wrath, marksman. Sloth, swab the poop deck!"
"What? I'm the janitor!" Heather gagged at her position before objecting further to it, getting up in the demon's face "There is no way I'm a janitor while you get to be captain! I'm smarter and stronger than you."
"Oh really Sloth? If your so smart then maybe you can answer a bit of trivia. How many people did the Zodiac kill and what was his modus operandi?" Cedric asked with a smug smile on his face. Heather tried to come up with an answer to the question, but only found herself glaring at her rival.
"The price for failing to answer is walking the plank. Envy!" Cedric signaled his stalker who immediately followed the command and restrained Heather. Despite her audible complaints, Sierra tossed Heather over the ship and into the icy water.
"I'll get you for this you little-ACHOO!"
With that annoyance out of the way Cedric walked to the other side of the ship an watched the cold water below, humming as he observed its movement. However he was broken from his thoughts again when he saw Gwen approaching. And judging from her movement she was very frustrated.
"What is wrong with you! I know Heather is pain, but when she provides a vote against Courtney then we shouldn't antagonize her!" Gwen angrily scolded hi before changing the subject to another "And what were you doing helping Tyler? I thought you were helping stay in!"
"And here you are bossing me around again. You do realize I have my own consciousness both in and out of this game. The merge is coming up and if I want to last much longer, I'll need to look out for myself. Want to find someone to drag down with you talk to Pride." Cedric verbally retaliated while walking away with intent on ending the argument right then and there.
Gwen didn't give him that chance and grabbed him by the wrist "If this is about me dating Dincan then get over it. It's not my fault you can't take a hint!"
Suddenly Gwen herself lifted off the ground by the choker she wore around her neck. By this point Cedric had enough of playing nice with the goth and dropped what little ability he had to act he had aside from the skin he was wearing, completely immersing himself in the feeling he had before killing a victim, his eyes burning brighter than ever before.
"I'm the one who needs to take a hint Lust? If you had any semblance of intelligence you'd know that I'm looking out only for myself. I'm not angry that you're screwing around with Pride, I couldn't give a shit about that. I'm pissed you still think you're in the right for going behind your friends back, stabbing it, and walking around all poor me like she's the one in the wrong for being mad you betrayed her. And then you try to use everyone else around to avoid karma coming up on you like a hungry lion. And you call Sloth a pain! You're slutty attitude has been an even bigger pain in the ballsack to almost everyone around you. Not to mention thanks to you and Envy, a certain friend of yours is stuck in a potato battery. And even after all this you're getting on me for helping the only real friend Beanpole has left in the game? Why so serious Metallica!"
With his murderous rant over, Cedric slipped back on his figurative mask of sanity and dropped Gwen back on to the floor of the ship. He then cheerfully ordered as if the confrontation had never happened "Now get to navigating Lust. We do want to make it there before Pride and Red after all."
Despite the command she had just been given, Gwen could only stand there with her mouth gaping from the shock of who had just snapped at her.
Confessional:
Gwen: "Well, I guess that's the most confirmation I can get out of this game. When even Cody is mad as hell with me, I know I completely screwed up. The only problem is that I have no idea how to make this right…Was he thinking of killing me back there? And what's with all these weird nicknames? Something really wrong is going on here. "
Meanwhile Duncan was dealing his own set of conflicting emotions. The most prominent of the two being a strong mixture of fear and anger. He knew that Cedric was going to try and throw the challenge to keep him and Tyler in the game, so that didn't leave him with many viable options. He could win the challenge but that would give Cedric what he wanted; and getting the Amazon's to vote him out wasn't doable because of how little friends he had on the team, and Cedric could easily found a way out of it. He couldn't lose either because that would put himself at risk of elimination. To put it simply there wasn't a single move he could make against the Mad Hatter.
"Hey do you have any idea how to work this cannon?" Tyler asked, unintentionally breaking the delinquent from his thoughts.
Duncan walked up to explain the functions while looking into the cannon's mouth "There should be some sort of pull trigger on this thing. All you've to do I put the meatball in, aim, and fire."
"Let's get going then!" Tyler said with a confident grin, before attempting to pick up one of the meatballs at his feet. Keyword being attempting. Thanks to Chef's intentional poor cooking it made the meatball relatively heavy, making it a struggle for Tyler too pick it up.
After a few moments of this Duncan couldn't help but snicker at his teammates wheezing misfortune. Tyler didn't take kindly to this and set the meatball down, before pulling the trigger on the empty cannon. This caused an explosion of dust to fire from the cannon, covering the delinquent's face with soot.
Now it was Tyler's turn to laugh "Sorry about that man. But you can't deny you deserve it after everything you've done this year."
"What to do I have to feel guilty about?"
"Are you kidding me? After cheating on Courtney, and not coming clean about it so you could have both girls at once, you don't have a shred of guilt? At least Gwen probably feels a little bad about it. You really are a psychopath aren't you!" Tyler bitterly told off the delinquent.
Duncan responded to this about as well as you'd expect "Hey it's not like that. I was going going to break it off with Court…eventually!"
"Sure that's totally ok. It's not like it's common sense to break up with a girl you don't like anymore before you start making out with other ones!"
"Just shut your trap already you pathetic bigmouthed excuse for a jock! And where the hell do you get off at calling me crazy!"
"I didn't call you crazy, I called you a psychopath. They're to completely different things."
"Oh really. Well then explain the difference Freud, I ain't got all day." Duncan sarcastically spat at Tyler, only for the jock to retort with equal venom in his voice.
"A psychopath is someone who has no conscience or empathy and thinks they can do whatever the hell they want without any care of how their actions hurt others. Kind of like the Mad Hatter Killer from six years ago, Cedric von Túfeice. But you're more of a sociopath now that I think about it. A really low-functioning one!"
While Tyler walked away to a different part of the small ship, Duncan stood their in shock. He now understood why Cedric kept calling him a psychopath. And it highly irritated him that the demon had basically just been proven right on international television. He was completely right about him the entire time.
That's when Duncan decided something. He was going to prove him wrong.
Cedric looked around the ship thinking of his next course of action. He figured Gwen wouldn't be much of a threat since he knew she'd probably try to avoid him as much as possible after their last encounter. And Sierra was at the most an annoyance, rather than a useful tool. It would take a little more for him to vote her out on a personal level rather than a strategic level.
But then there was Courtney and Heather. There was very little chance of them figuring out who he was; they'd have to have known him personally to pick up any of those details of his behavior. But they were very controlling and often practiced this behavior on Cody, and since his possession himself. And Cedric absolutely refused to be controlled. One of them would have to go next.
He turned his head to see he was close the Courtney, who was angrily loading a meatball into the cannon. Cedric decided that she was the best target at the moment due to being more unstable than his other target at the time. With a grin on his stolen face, he approached her.
"So Wrath how's the cannon working so far? Think the other team is in close enough range to fire on them?" Cedric leaned onto the cannon with a curious smile. Courtney clearly wasn't any mood to be bothered.
"Sure, they'll get close enough and then we can win. Then Gwen will probably stay till the merge." Courtney said the name of her former friend with malice.
Cedric noticed this and inwardly chuckled to himself before pressing anger further "Such a disappointment isn't it? You two were getting so close to. I'm actually rather surprised you didn't…heh heh."
"What are you implying pipsqueak?"
"Me, implying something? What a load of hogwash Wrath. I was just saying how close you ladies were; almost like the wheels on a bisexual. Bicycle! I totally meant to say bicycle, not bisexual. I mean it's not as if you were into Metallica or anything!" Cedric not so subtly suggested, his amused smirk growing bigger.
Courtney was clearly shocked and revolted by this idea and fervently denied it "Don't be ridiculous you pervert. I am not into girls! Especially not that gothy backstabbing-"
"You're totally thinking about her boobs right now aren't you? Admit it, you're into Metallica." Cedric cut her off, resulting in a dark blush spreading across Courtney's face.
"Did you just come over here to harass me over my supposed bisexuality? Or did you actually have something useful to contribute for once?"
"Just making sure you aren't going to throw the challenge like you've doing for the past couple of days. You could easily misfire away from the enemy ship or blow a hole right into our own." Cedric said in a mistrusting tone, though he was silently tell spotting her body for any reaction. He got one when a pulse ran trough the part of the brain that rendered an epiphany, and smiled at the results.
"I have not been trying to throw the challenges! It's just bad luck is all!" Courtney lied through her teeth, only for Cedric to place something in her hands.
"Whatever you say Wrath. Can you hold onto that cross for me? It's made of a metal that burns my skin from allergies." Cedric explained while showing off the burns he'd received from holding the cross, before leaving Courtney to her own devices.
Confessional:
Courtney: "I don't care what that little geek says, I am not attracted to other girls! And for that matter how does he complain about me throwing challenges, when he was getting all buddy buddy with Tyler."
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Cedric: "In response to all the people watching trying to use me ousting Wrath as a way to claim that being gay is evil since I'm a demon and all. It's not. I've been to Hell personally and that isn't it's source. The source is your enviroment and the chemicals in your brain. But aside from that, hook, line, and sinker!"
Now that he'd gone through with his plan Cedric went back to where he was standing and watched the waves. His attention shifted when he looked up to see that Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot's ship was in range. And also getting closer to the flag.
"Alright ladies prepare for battle! Lust, Envy, get us in closer. Wrath, don't miss or blow us up!" Cedric ordered before sliding down to the main deck and glaring excitedly at his opponents from across the way. His plan had been set into action and all he needed now was to wait.
Duncan noticed the feeling of the glare from the enemy boat just shrugged it off. He became more focused when he heard a the sound of something flying through the air and landing in the waters nearby.
"Are you kidding me? They get to fire first?! We need to take care of this fast! I refuse to let that British Asshole get the better of me again!"
"We should probably wait until they loose more of their meatballs. We have less than them remember?" Tyler tried to quell his teammates rage, though it didn't work in the slightest as Duncan loaded the cannon and fired on the enemy.
Meanwhile Team Amazon was having more internal issues. Mainly the continuing argument between Cedric and Courtney was getting more heated with every shot she intentionally missed. So far they had had already missed two shots "It's getting more and more obvious you're throwing the challenge. The cannon is literally aimed sideways to the actual target."
"It's not me. The cannon is hard to aim and my eyesight is pretty poor. Should probably go to the optometrist once the season is over."
"That's funny I could have swore earlier you said something about 20/20 vis-ACK!" Cedric said skeptically before he was hit the meatball Duncan fired, causing his neck to audibly snap sideways. While this surprised and terrified anyone who was close enough to witness what happened, Cedric simply snapped his neck back into place after reviving and acted like nothing happened.
"Well that hurt; good aim though! Wrath from now I want you to aim like that, but without the possibility manslaughter no matter how much you want to kill Pride!"
Courtney quickly recovered from the shock of seeing someone survive something like that, she snapped back "You think it's so easy than you do it Captain!"
In response to this challenge, the demon stepped up to the figurative plate and carefully aimed. After a moments of waiting for Duncan to fire again he pulled his own trigger, both cannonballs connecting with each other midway and cancelling each other out in a mighty explosion.
"That's cool and all, but I'm still bugged by the neck snapping thing." Gwen said to Sierra who was still catatonic over the shock of the previous incident. The goth shook her a little bit in an effort to snap the fangirl out of it, but that only resulted in her fainting entirely.
"Crap we only have one meatball left!"
"We better make it count then. At least to stall them a little while we make it to the flag." Tyler said before hearing the other team's cannonball heading his direction. He braced for what was sure to be a painful impact before hearing the sound of the projectile hitting flesh.
But strangely he didn't feel any pain. He opened his eyes to see Duncan had taken the blow for him and was knocked to the other side of the ship "Dude, you saved me! Why?"
"…I DON'T KNOW!"
Confessional:
Cedric: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh blimey, it pays to have hearing like I do. You weren't kidding about being a hardened criminal Pride! You're a regular Butch Cassidy!…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
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Duncan:…That didn't mean anything. It's not like I was trying to save his ass or something. It was just a reflex is all. I am still a bad guy and don't you forget it!…I think I have a hernia or something!"
While looking at the injuries Duncan sustained from the projectile, both teens heard the sounds of a gunshot coming from nearby. Duncan recognized the one firing the gun on the jet ski as the conman from earlier.
"Du tror att du kan con mig du liten snorunge?! Jag ska pumpa dig full av bly!"
"Hey it's the guy I bought the boat from. Thanks for the deal!" Duncan rose up and waved despite the severe pain in his chest, only to have to duck from a gunshot "I don't think he's in the mood to talk!"
"What did you do to that guy?!"
"I don't know! I just gave him my money and…oh crap we're in Sweden. Canadian money is probably worthless here!" Duncan realized while slapping his forehead.
Well then say something so he'll stop shooting at us! And wait a minute don't you need a license to have a gun in Sweden?" Tyler pointed out while Duncan stood up and attempted to reason with the man in Swedish, with very limited results.
"Bilar flyger i toaletten med din sjuka mor. Getter äter rovor pizza på gift ek. Min strumpbyxor är gjorda av rabiata boskap."
"Är du mcoking mig igen?! När jag är klar med dig, behöver du en iron lung rullstol fusion!" Whatever Duncan said it only seemed to make the man angrier forcing him to take refuge back in the boat, clutching his injury from the pain of the constant movement.
"I don't think he's going to listen."
"Then there's only one thing we can do!" Tyler claimed filled with determination charging up to the cannon and loading it. With careful aim he fired onto their attacker, destroying his jet ski and sending him flying into the air.
"Nice thinking man except for now we don't have any ammo left to use!" Duncan said from his sitting position on the ships side
Tyler realized this and began thinking of solutions before coming up with one "Not quite, there's still one more thing we can try? You think you can still aim this thing?"
"Sure, what's the plan?"
The previous shot was heard very clearly by the Amazons who were needless to say happy with the results "Wait a minute. That was three shots! They're all out of meatballs."
"That means we have this challenge completely in the bag!" Cedric said with a grin on his face, deliberately saying this to Courtney in an attempt to rile her up.
Courtney desperately began thinking of anyway to lose the challenge only to remember an important item in her back pocket. Grabbing it carefully and gingerly pulling back Cedric's clown suit, she dropped the cross down the demon's back. Only a few moments afterward Cedric's demonic biology took effect and his skin began to burn. He recoiled away from the cannon and began writhing in agony on the ground.
"Cody! What happened to you?!" Sierra screeched once she saw "Cody" suddenly begin this fit, while Courtney brushed the matter off.
"Don't worry he probably just got stung by a honeybee or something. Now let's win this challenge!" Courtney grabbed the cannon and pulled it's trigger before quickly pointing it down into the ship and blowing a large hole through it "Oops, sorry."
"We need to fill this hole quickly or else we're gonna capsize!"
"No we don't! What we have to do is destroy Team Chris's ship before ours sinks and we'll still win!" Sierra pointed out before hearing an excited cry up in the air. They all looked up to see that Tyler had used himself as a human cannonball. While this wouldn't do as much damage as it would if it were say Owen, but he'd hit the hole that Courntey had made in the ship. This caused the crater to get even bigger and the ship to capsize almost immediately.
"Oh crap."
Meanwhile the conman got up from the hole he'd made in the ice after getting blown into the air. He turned around to see Cedric arising from the icy waters, completely out of his disguise. And while his plan went accordingly, he still aprreared absolutely furious with the man in front of him.
The Swedish swindler drew his gun and shouted at the demon "Tillbaka upp ypu krypning eller jag ska ge dig en annan röda ögon i du är fore-"
He never had time to finish his sentence. Cedric drew his own weapon and vertically sliced the man's head in half before removing his soul with the the gauntlet and cutting him into even more pieces. With his latest murder complete Cedric absorbed the soul and cheerfully snapped his finger and called a shadow loa.
"Hey you Shadow Loa #857, ye you. You mind bagging up that body and give it to you know who back on the plane. His soul may have only just been removed but no body could survive what I did to that guy." Cedric said before realizing the cigarette he's been lighting and snuffing out while changing forms had reached its limits.
With careful aim he tossed the still red hot ashes into the city nearby, with an evil smile on his face. He then quickly changed back when Tyler came ashore an Chris came by "Most captains go down with the ship, but it's usually their own ship Tyler. But since you sank Team Amazon's ship Team I am Godly Hot goes to first class while Team Amazon faces elimination.…How is that clown makeup still on?"
After the challenge Duncan and Tyler had about fifteen minutes to move their luggage from Economy Class to First Class. Despite actually winning for the first time and not having that win revoked due to Cedric's meddling, Duncan was very conflicted at the time. And not just because of the three broken ribs he had to go to the infirmary for.
On one hand he had actually managed to win a challenge for once and could relax in the luxury of first class. But on the other hand Cedric got what he wanted, and was probably going to get Courntey eliminated. And while Duncan still wasn't interested in her anymore, that seriously bugged him for some reason.
"Well hello there Pride. Still packing up your things;that's great, you and Red deserve to win. Now I'm even further in my plans! Thanks for the help Pride." Cedric approached the delinquent in his normal form and mocked him over his failure to outwit him "Guess that's just another thing you can add to your list of good deeds. I guess I was right when Insaid you were a goody real philanthropist!"
Having enough of the Mad Hatter taunting him Duncan pinned him to the wall and growled in his face "I swear, once the merge happens I will do everything in my power to make sure you take that drop!"
To his surprise Cedric merely chuckled and and retorted "You can try to vote me out it you want, but it won't change a thing. My goal isn't the million you humans are so fond of. My real goal is to cause as much mayhem on this hole as possible untill I eventually run out of souls and go back to Hell. Voting me off will cause a handicap, but it will only delay the inevitable. I will make this world rot Pride. Good luck stopping me; Beanpole tried and look where it got him."
While Cedric walked off to the Exit Row, Duncan growled while he watched him transform and walk away with a skip in his step. The delinquent collapsed down onto the Economy Class bench from exhaustion only to feel his hand sticking to something on the walls. He irritably pulled his hand from the substance and pulled out the black light he'd picked up during the challenge to see what it was. His eyes widened in shock when he saw that the sticky substance formed a message.
IM IN THE WALLS
"Quite the day if I do say so myself. Clowns, Vikings, Swedish Gun Control Laws. But in the end you lost today, and as such one of you will be going home." Chris said while reading the passports.
"Gee I wonder who that will be?" Heather said sarcastically while glaring at Corutney, still shivering from being thrown over board by Sierra. Of course she was still angry at Cody, but he wasn't her focus for now. She was saving him for later.
"Hey, if you're going to blame someone for the loss blame Cody! But even so, I can't wait to see Gwen get shoved out the door tonight!" Courtney leered at her somber looking former friend.
"Maybe she will, maybe she won't. I may know the answer, but you'll just have wait another minute. The first marshmallow goes too…Sierra!" Chris said while tossing the snack to the fangirl who squealed in response.
"Thanks Chris!" Sierra said before placing the marshmallow in her mouth "They're even better than I ever imagined."
"Next up is surprisingly Heather." Chris said while tossing the marshmallow to the the Queen Bee, before staring intently at remaining three "Courtney, while you do have very good reasons for your anger, accusations of throwing your team's challenges have been popping up recently. Gwen, you showed your untrustworthy side again this year, and if all the guys get eliminated, we have no idea who you'll kiss next. Cody, you may have won Aga BOOOOOOOM for your team, but you lost the Viking Battle; and to be frank the clown makeup is really creepy."
"Then why'd you make me keep it on McBurrito?"
"It's McLean! Each of you got at least one vote tonight. The next marshmallow goes to…Cody." Chris announced before tossing the marshmallow to the demon, who ate it even faster than Sierra did.
Both girls froze when they saw only one chance left for immunity left on the plate "Courtney, Gwen. This is the final marshmallow of the night. And it goes to…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
Nobody!" Chris exclaimed before tossing the marshmallow into his own mouth, much to the confusion of the Amazons.
"WHAT?!"
"Both Courtney and Gwen got an equal amount of votes. Normally we'd resort to a tiebreaker but it's a non-elimination round so it wouldn't matter." Chris said happily, eagerly awaiting the chaos that was about to ensue.
"Alright, which one of you two voted for me?" Courtney angrily asked Sierra and Heather.
"We both did. That's what you get for throwing our challenges!" Heather answered smugly.
"And hurting my Cody!"
"You traitor! I thought we had a deal!"
"Fingers crossed. Doesn't count!"
"Wait a minute!" Cedric's angry voice broke up the bickering, and they all looked in his direction to see he was holding up a stamped passport with Cody's face on it "I think that someone here's a big ol' liar."
From there on in all hell broke lose in Exit Row when Sierra started making accusations towards Gwen "You did this. It wasn't enough hurting Courntey wasn't it?!"
"What?! I voted for myself! How do you now Courtney or Heather didn't do it. And how do we know you didn't it!"
"Why are you accusing me?!"
"Shut your trap!"
"Liar!"
"Whore!"
Amidst all the arguing Cedric set down the passport with an evil grin and walked out of the Exit Row. But not before mouthing to Chris "I did it!"
Cedric: "Chaos. Beautiful, beautiful chaos! Now that I've inflicted on those poor innocent young ladies, they'll be that much easier to pick off like ants under a magnifying glass. This game is so much fun!"
"I thought Alejandro was devilish. This guy's practically Satan!" Chris said from his cockpit while playing the confessional in the background "Will Team Amazon ever recover from this loss of traction? Why is Duncan actually helping people? And when will the merge come into play? Find out next time on-"
"Excuse me McCarpet. Do you have a recent newspaper I could read?" Cedric interrupted the outdo by opening the door, before blowing a current of smoke out of his mouth.
"Yeah why?" Chris asked while handing Cedric the newspaper. He wished he hadn't asked about five seconds later.
"I started a fire in Gothenburg before we left with some old lit ashes. I estimate it killed about 100 or so people. Just wanted make sure." Cedric explained grinning ear to ear over the camera, causing a look of pure horror to spread across both Chef and Chris' faces.
"Don't expect this newspaper back. I need it for toilet paper." Cedric told them as he left, though they were both still frozen in shock.
"Chris man, that guy is pure evil!"
It was then that Chris dove for the front camera in a frenzy "CUT THE FOOTAGE! CUT THE FOO-"
Courtney-Gwen
Gwen-Gwen
Heather-Courtney
Sierra-Courtney
Cedric-Cedric
(A/N): This story just keeps getting darker and darker doesn't it. Probably because of how screwed up Cedric is in this version. Not like anybody would know though since there's very little support for this story. Seriously this is starting to get depressing when even the original is getting more traction than this one. Cedric's rant at Gwen was inspired by the one from TwistedFortune's "A Fall From Grace". It may be on hiatus for now but it's an interesting take on a Face-Heel Turn by a character. For those of you reading the story go check it out. Actually scratch that, review this story first, then go check it out.
See you later and please let this chapter have better luck than the others.
. . .
