Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama. If I did then Allstars would have been 26 episodes. Thanks Freshtv I say sarcastically.
Chapter 9: Unholy Matrimony Part 2
"Welcome back to Total Drama World Tour. As you can see our contestants couldn't be in a happier mood wit their partners this challenge!" Chris gestured to Cedric who was currently on a row of heart shaped pillars with the others. Since she and Courtney were paired together for the challenge, Gwen was made the leader by a coin toss.
"I hate my life." Cedric said, seething with rage at being paired with the person he'd wanted to avoid at the merge.
"Like I said, they couldn't be happier."
PART ONE: Each groom/wife will use a bullhorn to guide their spouse to the other side of the room where their wedding dresses have been hung on a mannequin, through various obstacles strewn throughout the playing field. Those who do not receive their dress before the allotted time period is up will not be allowed to move on the second phase.
"And I think that bout sums the whole shebang up. Any questions before we begin?" Chris asked, which got a raised hand from Blainely.
"Yeah, can I get a 911 on makeup before we begin? I think there might be a shiny spot on my cheek and this blindfold is probably causing more than a few wrinkles." Blainely asked, which got wild laughter from Chris and a cold response from Heather.
"As much as I would I would love to do my makeup right now, this isn't the cushy talk show your used to. Take a look at Cody and you'd know that we can't afford saline solution!"
"Are you kidding me? What sort of shitty show doesn't have a makeup department? You kids need to get some gumption! And some agents." Blainely said arrogantly before blindly pointing to Cedric's podium "Except for you you're scary enough."
This highly confused both Tyler and Gwen "Is she meaning to point to Duncan?"
"Probably."
"Enough chitchat, I've got a massage at 4 and I don't want to miss it! Ready, set, go!" Chris yelled marking the start of the challenge.
"Alright Duncan let's get one thing straight here. I want to win! Even if I have to team up with someone like you, so no funny business!" Heather ordered her partner.
"Trust me toots, there's absolutely nothing funny about this season. Now take three paces forward and turn left." Duncan directed Heather, which resulted in her falling into a nearby kiddie pool of chocolate syrup. Duncan then laughed at her misfortune "Except for that, that was pretty darn funny!"
Confessional:
Duncan: "I should probably be trying to win but with Cedric running the game I'm safe for now, and Courtney can't vote out Gwen without putting herself at risk this time. And besides unlike a lot of the people I mess with there's no denying Heather deserves it. All I have to do is pretend she's Cedric."
"Courtney, I know you don't like me and I really can't blame you for it, but right now I need you to listen to me. Go right and take seven paces forward before taking a left and take two paces forward. You'll be at the dress than."
"Yeah right Boyfriend Stealer, as if I'd trust anything you're lying kissy lips sAAAyyy." Courtney continued to chastise Gwen, only to fall straight into one of the traps. Namely the sand one.
Cedric and Sierra were having similar luck, mainly due to Cedric's complete lack of interest in the challenge at hand. Sierra noticed this and asked " Codykins, aren't you going to give me directions?"
"Sure why not. Take about 2 paces forward then take a left, and another left, and another left."
"Whatever you say Cody!" Sierra blissfully followed the demons instructions, unaware that he had intentionally turned her around in the exact opposite direction of the dresses.
"Just keep going that way and you'll do just fine!" Cedric told his partner before chuckling as she unknowingly went right past him.
While Tyler was confused as to why his alliance members were intentionally throwing the challenge but quickly shifted his focus back to Blainely "Alright brah. Here's what I need you to do. Take five paces forward before going right. No wait I mean left!"
Tyler's warning was heard to late, and he recoiled as the starlet walked straight into the path of a very large wedding cake. Something she was very audibly angry about and responded to the accident with a hearty "NO!"
"Don't worry Blainely it's just cake. I could have led you into like the jellyfish pond or the sand castle or something." Tyler tried to calm her, which didn't work in the slightest.
"Just cake? JUST CAKE?! Are you completely insane? I could gain five pounds by just touching the stuff!" Blainely screeched at her partner before licking some of the pastry off her face, gaining a pleased reaction from the starlet "Sugar? It's been years! It's like vanilla flavored paradise! With a hint of lemon."
"That's nice but I really think we should get back to challenge." Tyler tried to get her head out of the cake and into the game, to no avail as she began to gorge herself in the giant wedding dessert.
Meanwhile Gwen was still trying to get Courtney to listen to her "Here's what I need you to do next. Take two paces left of you and then five paces ahead. Then you'll be at the dress."
"And what's there another sand castle?" Courtney spat bitterly before running straight into a bell, the sound of which temporarily stunned her. This temporary moment of weakness caused the CIT to slip straight into the nearby pool of jelly fish. After a few stings Courtney managed to escape.
"Are you willing to listen to me now or are you just going to end up crashing into more things? Take two paces left and five straight ahead of you!" Gwen ordered, though this time Courtney actually listened and managed to make it to her dress.
Confessional:
Gwen: "Ok I get that what I did was wrong, but how am I going to apologize. I can't even get close to Courtney without getting my head ripped off!"
"Yes I made it!" Blainely cheered as made it to her dress and took it off the rack.
"That's two down. Let's see if the remaining two can pull their heads out their asses and actually do something worthwhile in this challenge. Probably not, but we'll see." Chris cracked to the viewers as he watched Heather and Sierra struggle with the challenge.
"Alright here's the deal; there's a whole torrent of obstacles ahead that I'm sure you don't want to deal with so I'll cut you a break. Keep going left until I say you can stop, and then go forward, that clear Heather?" Duncan gave the next set of directions to his reluctant partner.
Unfortunately for him after his previous actions during the course, Heather didn't trust him in the slightest "As if. From now on I'm doing the exact opposite of what you say! So I'm going right!"
"No wait right is the direction of the seating!" Duncan tried to warn her only to wince when she fell into the orchestra pit with a loud crash of wood and instruments.
"Medic! Well then I guess we'll only be having two brides participating in this challenge." Chris pointed out as he looked at the counter that was nearly down to ten seconds.
However before he could officially draw the challenge to a close Sierra turned around and crouched over while sniffing the ground like an animal. Once she finished she charged every obstacle from the jellyfish pool, from the party cannon, to the stunning bells to reach the dress. When he saw this, Cedric slapped his hand against his forehead.
"Cody! I got the dress! Now we can be together forever!"
Confessional:
Cedric: "How in the name of King Henry VII did she pull that off. I have an excuse for doing shit like that, I'm a voodoo witch doctor demon. Does she have some sort of creepy wedding dress radar implanted in her neck or something like that?"
After clearing out the casino and getting Heather to the plane's infirmary, the group went to a small viewing platform outside Niagara Falls. However only Cedric and Duncan were out there at the moment since the girls were getting their dresses put on and Tyler was using the restroom. While Gwen led last challenge, Chris still had a wedding dress made for her since she was a girl.
This rule also applied to Tyler and Cedric, who had to wear bow ties around their neck. Currently Duncan and Cedric waited for everyone else to get back while Duncan glared at his enemy hatefully.
"I don't know what you're thinking with this alliance crap, but whatever you're planning it better not involve me cause I don't want anything to do with your pastimes." Duncan growled at the mad hatter, but was silenced when Cedric slightly pulled a certain tape out of his jacket.
"Red eyed asshole."
"Well how rude Pride. And after I went through all the trouble of getting us drinks. Non alcoholic mind you, we still need to wait a few years before that." Cedric said as he took the drinks off the waiter's dish, who cleared his throat in annoyance.
"Excuse me sir, a tip."
"Why of course waiter. Here's a quick tip for you; it's not the drop that's important." Cedric said while leading the man across the platform before suddenly pushing him over the railing to the rocks below "It's the sudden splat."
After casually putting out his cigarette on a nearby ashtray, he snapped his finger which summoned a shadow loa who he handed his talisman "Would be a chap and collect that man's soul for me? And tell Baron Samedi to stop complaining about me using his veve so much. I need it on that talisman."
"Dude, you just killed that guy!" Duncan angrily yelled at Cedric, after breaking from the shock of seeing a live murder occur in front of him.
"I didn't know you cared about people besides yourself Pride. But you really shouldn't be so surprised, I am a serial killer after all; but I suppose it's easier to watch people die when it's on the other end of a screen." Cedric shrugged it off and breathed in the soul the loa brought him, before a loud noise from above pierced his ears.
He took of his hat and noticed a large hole through it. While transforming into Cody and letting the tophat fade away Cedric grumbled "Seriously that was my only hat! Guess Interpol's going after me now."
"Hey guys their serving some really big Beaver Tails inside and…" Tyler excitedly said about the Canadian dessert franchise before smelling blood from down below "It smells like when I slammed my feet in the door out here."
"That's just blood berries." Cedric explained away the smell, which was an explanation good enough for Tyler.
Unfortunately for him there was no explaining away what would happen next. Alongside the bow ties, he, Duncan, and Tyler were forced to wear bunny ears and noses. And they had moved from the stone viewing platform to a rickety wooden one over the falls with a tightrope extending to another one across the way. Each side had a flag, representing which country the side was in.
"I'd like to call this next challenge Till Death Do You Part." Chris named the challenge, eagerly awaiting the torment the contestants were about to go through.
In response to the great height Blainely fearfully turned to Tyler and asked "Ok so there's no makeup people; but you've got to have stunt doubles sometimes right? Right?"
"You do realize it's called reality television for a reason right?"
"Ok why do I even have to wear this junk? I'm not even in the challenge anymore!" Duncan angrily asked the host he responded with his expected answer.
"Because it's really fun. And the 75% of the fan base that hates you will enjoy watching you be humiliated."
PART TWO: Each carrier will have to take their spouse across the tightrope. The pair than must go through Ameorcan customs by perfectly and accurately answering a quiz based on either American or Canadian history. Those knocked into the falls will be automatically disqualified while the winners will receive immunity and a wedding reception in First Class. Failure to complete the challenge may result in elimination.
"You can cross whenever you feel like going and don't think you'll be nauseous. Also for extra inspiration I've stocked the lakes with hungry fresh water sharks, just because the falls weren't quite life-threatening enough. And one last thing: violence is never the answer…except on this show. Now go!"
Cedric walked over to the platform and looked over the edge. While the vast height would certainly intimidate any normal human, the mad hatter wasn't even human at all. He was about to turn around only to be throw over Sierra's shoulder, who ran across the cord with him in tow. While Duncan was still angry about the rabbit outfit, he still found pleasure in watching his mortal enemy suffer at the hands of the stalker.
Confessional:
Sierra: "Now what Cody doesn't know is that I became an ordained minister on the Internet a few years back. That way I can marry him for real! All I have to do is recite the ceremony super fast so he won't know what I'm saying, and all I have to do after that is get him to say "I do"! It's perfect! Soon Cody will finally be mine!"
"Do you Cody, take me Sierra to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Sierra sped through the last part of the ceremony she had memorized for this particular moment.
"What the hell did you just say?"
"For a wedding present I was thinking of getting you a convertible. Do you like that idea?"
"You are aware this isn't a real wedding right? It's just for the challenge and not legally binding in the slightest right?" Cedric managed to avoid the vows unknowingly by asking her that but Sierra wasn't deterred in her quest.
"Any other way you'd like to express that? In the form of two words maybe? Kind of starts with an I? Hmmmm?" Sierra continued to press, much to Cedric's irritation.
"Interpol slaughter."
Sierra growled at another failure to get "Cody" to complete the wedding ceremony before realizing she had almost ran up to Chef who was acting as the customs bureaucrat, complete wit a uniform "Business or pleasure?"
"Super-duper married pleasure!" Sierra answered the tall man cheerfully.
"First question: What is Canada's capital city?" Chef read off from a cue card.
"Ottowa. Honestly you're making these too easy Cheffy." Cedric easily answered the question only for Sierra to interrupt with another attempt.
"Actually Cody, I think what Chef meant to say was say yes in two words!"
"What are you smoking?" Cedric asked the fan girl, not like she really seemed to notice.
"Second question: What type of leaf is decipited on Canada's flag?"
"Maple leaf." Cedric said in a bored tone before Sierra covered his mouth with her hand, much to his ire.
Ignoring the protests of the demon Sierra put more words into Chef's mouth "Chef, don't you mean to ask Cody whether he loves the Canadian flag?"
"Um Envy, you can clearly tell from my voice that I'm not full blood Canadian." Cedric ripped the fangirl's hand off his mouth and referenced his cockney accent.
"Of course you're sexy new Australian accent. I just love it don't you Cody?"
"What did you just call me?" Cedric asked the crazy girl, sounding very offended by what she just said.
Of course Sierra was getting more and more frustrated with these failures "Do! Do! You're supposed to say I do!"
"That's it! Due to failure to declare the status of your sanity you've been deported. Go back and try again!" Having enough of this poorly done Abbot and Costello routine Chef yelled at Sierra, who went the other way in a huff. Unfortunately for her she came at a crossroads with Blainely and Tyler a few moments later.
"Move it lovebirds. We've got a challenge to win." Blainely growled specifically st Sierra. She didn't want to make Cedric any angrier with her than he already was.
"But I'm carrying precious cargo. You should be the one to move it!"
"Are you saying that I'm not precious! Cause believe me when I say I am." Blainely argued back, though Tyler tried to calm his partner down so she wouldn't do anything drastic.
"Um Blainely, we might want to calm down. It's already hard enough to keep my balance as it is and you getting angry only makes more movement." Tyler tried to soothe or anger to no avail.
"Zip it A.C. Slater! Less talk more walk."
"Cody, don't you think that Blainely is a nasty nasty women!" Sierra made another attempt to get Cedric to complete the ceremony, while also laying a thinly veiled insult toward Blainely.
"It would be a bit unfair for someone like me to categorize people like that. But sure why not!" Cedric spat back resulting in the starlet reaching her hands out in an attempt to attack them, though Tyler restricted much of her movement.
In response to this Sierra held Cedric out of the way and glowered at the pissed off starlet before beginning to pull on her blonde hair "Great, now you've upset him! Back off whore!"
"Ow! My hair extensions!" Blainely cried in pain. Sierra smiled as she got the reaction she wanted, but decided to kick Tyler in the shin for good measure. This backfired a few moments later when he lost his balance, pulling Sierra and Cedric down with them by accident.
Since they were the only ones left on the tightrope, this gave Gwen and Courtney easy passage to the othe side. The quickly made it to Chef
"Ottowa." Courtney dully answered.
"The maple leaf." Gwen spoke from her position over Courtney's shoulder.
"The Schooner Bluenose."
"Butter tarts."
"War of 1812"
"D-Day"
"Beavers." Both girls answered concurrently. Chef looked at the card in front of him and to his surprise, they had successfully completed the challenge.
"You got em all right. Have you anything declare?"
"Uh yes. I declare my wife to be a pasty faced, lying, insensitive whore who thinks her blue hair makes her look cool, but it just diverts attention away from her lack of personality." Courtney bitterly declared of her former friend.
"And I'd like to declare that-" Gwen tried to say before Courntey walked onto the American platform and threw the goth onto the structure.
Once he saw the challenge had been completed Chris walked over to the pair clapping his hands as he walked "Congrats ladies. You'll be traveling in first class today, and you've both won invincibility for today! Meaning you can't vote out each other. Bonus!"
"I want a divorce!" Courtney expressed her distaste at this turn of events, before hearing the screams of those being chased by the sharks below.
"Hey McPocky, a little help down here!"
Confessional:
Gwen: "This is going to be a lot harder then I thought."
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Cedric: "I am a Brit. But that broad called me an Aussie. No one calls me an Aussie…Ever! That's it, she goes next and I have just the resources to make it happen."
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Sierra: "I've been waiting two seasons for this day, and now it's ruined! I had something old, Chef! Something new, my wedding dress. And something borrowed, Cody's toothbrush. And now I've got something blue, me! Why couldn't you just say it huh? Do you Cody take Sierra to be your wife, forever and ever and ever and ever and-"
Outside the confessional each of the boys listened to Sierra's muffled raving from the other side of the door "Bleive me when I say that this girl is a nutcake!"
"I hope she gets finished in there soon, I've got to pee." Tyler said anxiously as he shifted from side to side.
"I'm not sure how much longer I can take this broad. She needs to go home next, I swear it." Cedric explained before suggesting to Tyler "After all wasn't she the one who knocked you into the falls earlier?"
"Yeah, that's a pretty good point man."
"I don't know wouldn't it be strategically smarter to go after someone like Heather? She's like Alejandro except without social skills." Duncan tried to rebel against the Mad Hatter's manipulations, to no avail.
"Yeah, but Heather will vote for someone like Blainely. But with Gwen immune this week you're the only choice Sierra's got. It would practically be like taping you to a wall." When Cedric said this, Duncan ceased all protest.
"But what about Gwen and Courtney. We'll need more than three votes to get Sierra kicked off." Tyler asked.
"No worries, I think I can convince them."
Meanwhile the tensions in First Class couldn't be more high. Or more awkward. With Courtney constantly glaring at her, Gwen begged for something to happen to break her focus. She got her wish yet again when Cedric unexpectedly walked in.
"What do you need Cody?" Courtney irritably said while getting a slice of cake.
"Oh nothing Wrath! Just this." Cedric said before slamming his hands against the ground causing the veve of Baron Samedi to flash, and two shadow loa to spread out and posses both Courtney and Gwen.
"What can we do for you master?"
"What can we do for you master?"
"You know, if I weren't asexual I could do a lot of dirty things with this power." Cedric said offhandedly to the camera before turning to the camera "There's a little someone I want you to vote for tonight.…"
"Courtney and Gwen have immunity for tonight, but everybody else is fair game. I only have five marshmallows on this plate and whoever doesn't get them will be forced to take the dreaded Drop of Shame. For real this time!" Chris said to scare the unimmune passengers before skimming through the votes.
"Interesting…Really?…Who'd have thought?…Huh…Wow…"
"Just pass out the marshmallows already!" Heather said from her bandages.
"Alright! Hold onto your halter top!" Chris yelled before beginning the ceremony "The first marshmallow goes to…Tyler. Duncan, Cody you two are safe as well. Same for you Heather."
Sierra had a very confident look on her face, until she realized that there was only one marshmallow left and she was sitting next to Blainely who was looking equally nervous at this turn of events "Ladies, I only have one marshmallow left on this plate. And you know what will happen when you don't get it. The final marshmallow goes to…
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Blainely!"
"What?!" Sierra cried shocked at her elimination.
"The gang has spoken Sierra. The Drop of Shame awaits." Chris said he tossed the parachute to the insane girl.
Still incredibly surprised the fangirl turned to the others, "Cody" specifically "You voted me off? But why?"
"Cause your jealous and crazy Envy, and that's coming from me! And also because I'm British, not Australian! Now get put of my sight you nutty bitch!" Cedric said coldly only for Sierra to run up to him furiously.
"But Cody I love you! I'll make you accept we're meant to be together!" Sierra screamed before Chef picked up the insane fangirl and tossed her out the Exit Row door before slamming the door shut.
While Cedric tried to catch his breath Tyler only had one thing to say to his false friend "Dude, that bitch is crazy! Happy Lindsay's not like that."
"You think that was harsh? Well we've got plenty more I can tell you that. Will Duncan ever break free from Cedric's hold? Will Gwen ever apologize to Courtney? What's Cedric playing next. Found out next time on Total. Drama. Woooooooooorld Tooooooouuuuur!"
(A/N): Hark what's this on the horizon? Another incredibly fast update? Well don't get too excited since I'm switching hands back to Ninja of Santoryu since I've kept that story waiting long enough and I need to come up with Cedric's next plan. But during the wait they're will be something new for this story.
The only catch?
It's not written by me. It's actually written by another author and frequent reviewer on this story Lord NV. It will be about the Peanut Gallery's reactions to Cedric's appearance and his crime spree on the show, and will likely have the aftermaths in between the chapters they were in the story. I'm not sure when he'll release but I urge you to check it out when it does.
See you whenever I decide to make the next release.
. . .
