It has been a week since we have told Hope about Lucas. A week of Lucas constantly coming over begging to speak to Hope. A week of Charlie trying to get Hope to talk but she inherited her stubbornness from me. She acted as if nothing had happened. She kept the smile on her face but all her pain inside
"Once again she says she fine" Charlie says as he sit next to me
"Lucas just called he wants to speak to her" I say shifting to look at him
"I don't know Riley, she barely wants to talk about it. It's like she doesn't believe it" he says
"She's in shock, I mean how would you feel if you found out your dad isn't your dad" I whisper
"I guess your right but what about you? How do you feel" he says taking my hand
"I feel like I'm losing her" I say looking down
"Riley, you are in no way losing her" he say lifting my head
"She barely talks to me it's like she's scared" I say as I bite my lip
Charlie stands as he reaches from my bag
"What are you doing" I say standing
"You and Hope need time away. You two need time together and you're going right now" he says going to Hope's room
"But daddy I want to play dolls" Hope whines looking at Charlie
"No, you and mommy need time together. Now go put your shoes on" Charlie says as he points to her room
I watch as Hope looks at me with anger and confusion written on her face she hates me
"She doesn't hate you" Charlie says hugging me
"Did you see her face" I say as my eyes water
"She confused, just explain" he say placing a kiss on my forehead
"I'm ready" Hope says standing at the door
"Okay you two be safe and have fun. I love you both" Charlie says as he kisses Hope's forehead
She hates me she hate me she hates me...
"Riley..." Charlie says crossing his warm
"Okay she doesn't" I smile as I make my way ou the door
-/-/
I take Hope to the park as I watch her play in the playground. Her long light brown hair flowing with the wind. Her smile grows as she plays with the rest of the kids. Her emerald eyes sparkly as the sun touches them. I smiles as I realize
She's a perfect mix of us.
I watch as she slowly starts to make her way to a bench by the pond. He faces stiffens as if she's thinking. I make my way to her as I sit next to her looking out to the pond
"I don't hate you mommy" Hope says looking down
I smile as I turn to her "I know you don't baby I was just worried about you"
"Mommy..?" Hope whispers
"What is it Baby" I says playing with her hair
"Was I wanted" she says looking down
My mouth hangs open slightly as I felt my heart break. This is why my little girl has been distant this is way she been different. She feel unwanted. We made her feel unwanted.
"You listen to me, Hope Maya Gardner! You were always wanted. You were the best thing to every happen to me" I cry as I make her look at me
I watch as her lip trembles as she looks up at me "did he not want me"
"Sweetie Lucas didn't know what he was doing. He.. He.. Was scared I don't know" I say as bring her closer to me
"How was it mommy" she asks
"What do you mean" I say as I place a kiss on her head
"When you knew about me. Were you happy with me?" She says as she sits on my lap
I smile as the memory starts playing to the day I found out I was pregnant
"Okay miss I'm always prepared may I please have a pad" Maya says whispering
I laugh as I reach for my bag
" hmm that weird I didn't have any. I guess I haven't gotten it" I say placing my bag on the table
I watch as Maya's eye widen as she stares at me with her mouth open.
"Did you finally break Maya" Lucas laughs as he sits by me handing me my food
"The one time I'm not prepared" I giggle
"You not prepared! The world is ending" he laughs as he acts dramatic
"Oh shut up you loser" I say as I push him
"I'm your lose love" he says kissing my cheek
I giggle as I rest my head in his shoulder. I watch as Farkle approaches Maya as he slowly sits her in her chair laughing at her expression
"BAY WINDOW AFTER SCHOOL" she shouts looking at me
"Okay okay!" I say looking at her
-:::;;/ Riley house/
I watch as Maya comes through the window with a brown bag
"Okay so what's the matter?" I say looking at her
"Riley how have you felt recently" she says eyeing me
"Really tired and hungry and kind of sick but that's it. Why" I say
"When was your last Monthly visit" she says reaching for my calendar see
"I dont know the last time was-" I stop as my eyes widen.
I snatch the calendar from her hands I as I look for the red dot. I drop the calendar as I felt my heart beat out of my chest.
"I'm almost two week late..." I whisper as I looked Maya
She opens the bag handing me three pregnancy test. I slowly walk to the bathroom as I take all three of them. My body was functioning but my mind was clouding. I'm late that means... No.. It's can't be... A... How...Lucas...
The timer goes off as I see all the pink plus signs on the test. I gasp as I slid down. As the tears rolled down my face. I soon see Maya coming in as she sits beside me
"A baby... I'm having a baby.."
"Mommy was scared Hope. Aunt Maya was there to help" I say as I smile at her
"So you did want me" she says looking at me
"Yes and very much because you grew right here." I say as I point to my stomach
"You were so close to me. Every time I was lonley you were always there baby." I say smiling
She smile as she point to my stomach " I was in there!?" She says giggling
"Yes! And now look at you! Your all huge" I say tickling her
"Mommy" she says as she stops laugh
"Yes baby"
"I want to talk to Uncle Luke now. I want to hear if he wanted me " she says looking me
"Are you sure baby" I say looking at her
"Yes I don't want to be mad anymore" she says smiling
"That's my girl! I think we should let daddy know" I says smiling as she takes my hand
/-/- back at the house-/
"Daddy!" Hope yells as she runs to Charlie
"Hey there little lady! I see that everything is good" he says picking her up
"Everything is good. Thank you" I say as I give him a kiss on the cheek
"Did you want me?" Hope says looking down
Charlie looks at me as he sets Hope done and brings her to the couch
"What was that sweetie?" Charlie says
"Did you want me?" she whispers looking at me
Charlie smiles as he looks at me " I think it's time to show her the family movies"
I laugh as i think of all the videos we took of when Hope was little. The first time she came home, her first word, crawling, walking and eating by herself. i watch as Hope looks between us as we continue to laugh at the memories
"Why are you laughing" she asks
"we are laughing because we recorded everything when your will little. Here sit down while I'll put the movies on" Charlie say as he goes grabs the dvds
"Daddy! Did you want me?" Hope yells
"Watch the movies sweetie and you'll see how much i wanted you in my life" Charlie says as he kisses her forehead
He puts the dvds in as they start playing
"I'll be right back I have a phone call to make" I say going to the room
I walk to my room as I dial his number. I stare at my phone deciding if I should call or not. How do I talk to him? How do I start the conversion.. How..
I press the button but quickly hang up as the ringing started come on riley your old! You can do this i breathe as i dial his number again this time letting it ring. Then the ringing stops
"Hello"
My heart stops as I hear his voice
"Hello.."
"Oh hi.. Um it's me riley" I stutter
"Riley! Hi! Hey! "He say as his voice sounds calming
"Hi. It's about Hope" I say
"What is it? Is she okay? Is she hurt? What-" he say rapidly worry in his voice
"No! Hope's fine. She wants to talk to you" i say cutting him off
He goes quite as i hear his breathing
"She does...right now!? I can go right now? Do you know about what?" he says
"Yes but its better if you two talk. Just you and your daughter"
"Our daughter riley. She both of ours. Riley I'm so-"
"Lucas, I know it's not about us it's about her, meet her at Topanga's at 12 tomorrow" I say cutting him off
"Does she hate me" he says quietly
"No.. She won't hate you.. Your great " I say as I bite my lip shaking my head riley what are you doing
I end the call as I run my fingers through my hair. I make my way back to the living room. I watch as Hope and Charlie laugh while watching the movies. I watch the tv as it shows Charlie trying to change her diaper. I laugh as I watch him on the screen his face as he gags because he got poop on his hand. I watch as the next clip starts I stare at both of them as I felt myself getting emotional.
You missed so much Lucas..
"Riley come here" Charlie says looking at me
"Mommy!" Hope yells making room for me
I walk to them as I sit in the middle with Hope resting on me. I stare at the tv watching the clips go by
How would it have been if it was you there?. What will be different Lucas...
