AN: This today and tomorrow a quick update for BMTL since I know I left that on a sad cliffie.


After exiting the glass elevator Joss and John walked side by side falling into easy conversation as naturally as they had at The Bean. She casually brushed her hand against John's, who took it a step further and let their fingers tangle in answer. She longed for the right to outright hold his hand but for now this had to be enough. They didn't have much choice in the matter with the case he was working and having to pose as a married man.

They were headed for the Rendezvous Lounge, a place that Harold and Grace had suggested when she asked while talking to them after she picked Maddie up from the Fun Factory and put her tired baby to bed last night. They had her on speakerphone so when she asked for advice and explained to them what these drinks meant, both Harold and Grace advised that lounge in unison. Grace suggested to call ahead of time and ask for one of the few private seating areas. She asked her friend what that meant and after she explained; Joss nearly hung up on her friends to call the Lounge to reserve the the spot before anyone else could. It sounded too good to be true; a private space to talk to John without needing to worry about on-lookers and no interruptions from the servers because they had a private call button that summoned a server when they wanted one. Joss had even taken the opportunity to order their drinks ahead of time before they arrived so that the glasses were waiting for them and they could be alone right when they arrived. It was a convenient and romantic amenity that Joss was grateful for. She didn't want to share John with anyone for long; not even their server.

"So where are we headed?" John finally asked as he was following her lead.

She smiled. "To the Rendezvous Lounge; my friend that got me this cruise for my birthday advised me to go there," she admitted.

John looked at her. "When was your birthday?" he asked, feeling embarrassed that he hadn't asked before right now.

"March 9th," she answered.

"That's not that long ago. Happy Birthday," he said immediately, her birthday was only four days ago. Would it look weird if he got her something for her birthday even though it had passed?—what would he get her? Going to the gift shop on a cruise ship didn't sound very original . Joss deserved a thoughtful gift….wait maybe he did have something he could give her.

"Thank you John and no you don't have to get me anything. Spending time with you is more than enough of a gift," she said and he looked at her in surprise. "Your look gave you away; you didn't know when my birthday was and we quite literally ran into each other on this cruise. Now next year is a whole different story!" she murmured gently, and mentally did a little dance when he didn't say they had no future besides being parents to Maddie.

She continued, "When's yours?"

"I don't want to say," he admitted and she blinked in confusion. He sighed. "The moment I tell you; you'll want to get me something."

Joss slid her other hand behind her back discreetly and crossed her fingers. "I promise not to get you anything," she said, feeling unapologetic since she had her fingers crossed, meaning that her promise was null in void. Plus he was Maddie's daddy so they had to throw him a party and invite Harold, Grace, and Leila. Her son wouldn't be able to make it but her momma would. And when you're at a small party you couldn't not get the birthday boy a gift, it would be rude, she reasoned with her conscience.

John nodded. "May 1st," he finally said and Joss tucked that date away in her little mental calendar and began thinking about different gift ideas from her and Maddie. Joss already had in mind a present from her and it was definitely not suitable to be given to him in front of anyone else but John. So she'd get him a gag gift at the party while she gave him his 'real' present when they were alone. Joss was going to have Maddie make him a card and then find him something dad related. John would be a mess on the first birthday and first Father's Day he got to spend with Maddie.

They approached the lounge with John unwise to her plans. Joss told the woman at the front entrance they had reserved a private section for two under the name: Carter. The woman smiled at them before being gracious and taking them towards the back of the lounge. John followed after Joss who was following the hostess and he took a not so subtle glance at Joss's fine behind and sighed before looking up and nearly stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the 'private seating' that Joss reserved for them. Ruby red curtains were pulled to the side to see inside. There was a vase with two red roses on a small cherry wooden table that could only seat two, and smack dab in the middle of the table was a candle that lit the private section up. On the table already was two glasses of wine.

Joss turned to look at John. "I hope you don't mind, but when I was calling for reservations they asked if I would like to preorder our drinks and so I did. A close friend who knows good wines recommended this Prosecco Superiore from Italy; its bubbly and sounds wonderful," she murmured.

John examined the bottle and nodded appreciatively. "Graziano Merotto from the Valdobbiandene region; excellent choice. I think we'll both enjoy this." The name rolled of his lips and Joss eyed him in surprise. He smiled shyly, "I spent some time in the service in Italy. I did some studying and enjoying their wines. This is one of my favorites. I can't believe your friend knows about it, it's not produced in large numbers." Joss just smiled, she wouldn't be surprised if Harold knew this and that's why he recommended it.

The woman smiled at them both before motioning for them to have a seat. She nodded to the red button in the back. "Please press that button on the back wall if you need anything. A server will only come if you press that button. I hope you two enjoy your drinks," she said very politely before turning and walking away.

John cleared his throat as he helped Joss onto the settee that was the seating for the small intimate area as he sat down beside her. The couch resembled a smaller version of a sofa it had a high black, very plush, and comfortable.

The curtains were soft as silk, adding to the ambiance, no one could see in and they couldn't see out. And Joss didn't resist the urge to pull the curtain closed to completely shut away the rest of the world just for these blissful two hours. John didn't say a word as she closed it, enveloping them in intimateness and shrouding them in candlelight with minimal light filtering through from under the curtain.

Joss stared at John as silence blanketed them, gentle candlelight glowed on his skin as neither reached for their wine, and she had no idea how secluded this really was with not a lot of seating around them. It was intimate and highly romantic. She was glad Grace and Harold suggested this and she scooted closer to John on the couch.

"There now, we can be two people who share a very intimate history and a daughter rather than John Jones and Joss Carter: strangers who met on this cruise," she murmured, breaking the silence before taking a sip of her wine. Mmm, this was so delicious.

She was sitting close to John, both were angled towards each other with their shins were brushing, and simply stared into his eyes until she set her wine glass down.

John cleared his throat before speaking, "I didn't realize they had such seating," he murmured nervously.

Joss smiled and nodded before changing the subject but not onto the one she truly wanted to talk to him about. "Maddie is quite taken with you. Even if you weren't her biological daddy I think she'd be hinting for you to be a substitute," she said softly, seeing how wound up he was. She knew he was preparing for the inevitable talk but she wanted to relax him.

John melted immediately as his whole body relaxed; she had found just the right subject to soothe him: their daughter. "Maddie is amazing."

"I agree. My son Taylor Skyped Maddie and she asked her big brother who Air Jordan was. So Taylor explained it to her and Maddie told Taylor all about John the 'gician,'" she murmured.

"Does Taylor know about me?" he asked.

"He does. And he wants to meet you eventually," she admitted.

John smiled. "I would like that. He sounds like a wonderful kid."

Joss smiled in return. "Oh now that I can guarantee," she said softly.

"Both Maddie and Taylor are wonderful because they have such a wonderful mother," he insisted as he reached for his wine to take a sip to calm his nerves.

Joss eyed him. "Well, Taylor I can take all the credit for but Maddie has her father now, so I can only take half the credit for her," she said gently, watching him. He set his wineglass down and looked at her. She leaned into him but got distracted as she inhaled that scent he wore that was so John. "God, you smell so damn good, John. Do you know that it haunted me since you left the morning after?—out of the blue I'd be able to inhale that sexy scent that's spicy, masculine, sexy, and all you. I thought I was losing my mind but I realized I just missed you," she whispered, her eyes boring into his.

John wasn't ready for the discussion to switch to them. But he couldn't put her off either. "I missed you too," he said quietly, honestly.

Joss searched his gaze. "Then help me understand what happened John; why didn't you ever come back?—I know we were both stupid in not telling our last names but you knew where I lived," she asked the question she dreaded, but it needed to be asked and answered before they could move forward.

There was something between them that both were helpless in the face of. It had been there since they met in The Bean, it was there when they shared their coffee-date, it was there when they shared dinner together talking at her place, and grew stronger as they had sex. Each new time they made love or shared bits and pieces of themselves; it strengthened that connection between them.

Joss watched him. She knew he probably had rehearsed what he wanted to say but lost it the moment when she confronted him. "Take your time John. We have two hours together to figure this out," she said calmly. "How about we start from the beginning?" she suggested after a minute or two of him struggling to explain what happened. She could see it wasn't because he was trying to think up a lie to satisfy her; the truth resided on his face but it wasn't enough for her. She needed to hear it.

John frowned. "The beginning?" he questioned.

"Yea, explain something to me: what did you mean when you told me that I wasn't a part of your plan?" she asked. "Let's start there."

She rested her hand on his and waited patiently for him to begin. "That's easy: you weren't supposed to be someone that mattered. You were this woman that I owed a coffee, who I was attracted to and intrigued by, but still a beautiful stranger," he said quietly.

She smiled a little. "Yea, I did finagle a date from you didn't I," she said smugly. "You were this shy hot guy that smelled insanely good; I wasn't not going to buy you a coffee," she teased, lightening him up a bit, wanting him to feel more at ease talking about his feelings with her.

His lips twitched a little but didn't give her a smile. "Then I went back to your place even though I could hear the alarm bells ringing off the hook in my head telling me that if I went back with you that there was no other way the night would end but with us in your bed. And I told myself that you couldn't handle it if that happened but it was really me. You're the type of woman that a guy could fall hard for, Joss," he murmured gently.

"Did you?—fall hard for me, I mean."

Joss deserved the truth, so he was going to give it to her whether or not he stumbled over the words. "Yes and that's what scared me. Because Jessica just died and I wasn't ready to let her go, I wasn't ready for the feelings you made me feel, we barely knew each other and yet I felt like I knew you all my life and I—" he struggled to explain. How did one explain that she made him feel too much too quick and it frightened him? He had sold it to himself that Jessica had been this grand love when he really had only placed her on a pedestal because she made him feel loved and cared about until their relationship blew up in his face. Because he realized she needed someone to take care of her and he needed someone to be his equal.

"You stayed away," she supplied.

He nodded and gathered the last of his confidence to finish this and wait for Joss to walk away. "I was a coward. I stayed away to grieve, to come to terms with things that happened with Jessica, and with how I felt about you so quickly. By the time I came to grips with everything, I figured it was too late, that you had to have moved on with your life. I told myself that a woman like you: beautiful, intelligent, funny, and kind wouldn't be unattached for long and I couldn't bear seeing you with another man," he ended lamely with a helpless shrug. With Jessica and Peter it was bad, but if he saw Joss with another man, he would have done something he wouldn't have been proud of.

Joss was quiet for a few moments, turning over everything he said and the things he didn't say but his eyes did. John looked so sad that he had allowed fear to rule him. She knew he felt guilty for it because of Maddie growing up without a daddy.

"I don't know if I want to kiss you or smack you," she muttered; as if she would have moved on with another man with or without Maddie.

John smiled softly before saying, "If I get a vote: I'll take option A," he murmured.

She chuckled before growing serious as she shifted closer to him. "John, you stayed away for no reason. You ruined me that night. No man was ever going to compare to you: not to your intellect, not to your shy flirtation, not to your gentleness in and out of the bedroom, and certainly not to your looks," she spoke, dropping her voice down an octave as she teased her fingertips across his hand, enjoying the feel of his skin under hers.

"Joss…."

"Do you know I wear the lavender shirt you left at my place every night to bed?" she asked and he gently shook his head. "Do you know why I wear your shirt that you left at my place to bed every night?—because it reminds me of you. It reminds me as the material rubs against nipples of when you made me climax as you ground into me fully clothed." she whispered huskily, unsure of what the hell she was doing as she rested her other hand on his thigh, not bothering to teasingly wander her hand up. She ran her hand up and rested it on his crotch feeling him hardening beneath her touch. Her words were affecting him as much as they were her.

John's free hand was caressing her cheek. "Joss, I'm sorry," he apologized.

She leaned in close so their lips were just a fraction apart. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"You were pregnant and alone; you had to raise our daughter for the last four years alone because I was a coward and stayed away, burying myself in my work because it couldn't hurt me," he whispered as he stared at her lips. "So yea, I do need to apologize to you."

She licked them seeing he was so engrossed with her lips, hearing his soft moan. "Fine, you need it, then here it is: you're forgiven for staying away, for making me raise our daughter alone. You're forgiven for being scared, John. Now I need to ask you something for me."

John's gaze lifted from her lips. "Name it, Joss, anything."

"Do Maddie and I fit into your future plan?" she asked breathlessly.

He ducked his head shyly, that their daughter most definitely got from him. "Of course, Maddie's my daughter; and you Joss…if you want to be," he whispered.

"That's not an answer John: yes or no, do you want me in your future plan, not as just Maddie's mother but something more?" she forced the issue, wanting to hear it from him first.

"Yes, Joss, I want you."

"Thank god because I want you too and now I really need you to please kiss me!" she begged and he groaned as he listened.

Joss sighed as the rest of the world melted away beside John as she palmed the growing erection beneath her hand as he slid his hand from under hers as he held her cheek and cupped the back of her neck as he pulled her close. She lifted her hand to rest on his cheek and moaned as he deepened the kiss, coaxing her lips apart and when they did, his tongue swept deep into her mouth to play with hers.

Selma let out a soundless cry of shock as she saw John and Joss, heedless to the fact that she was looking in on them, were locked in an intimate embrace and kissing passionately. She thought she had heard their voices as her and Nigel walked to their seats. And when she got up to go use the restroom she took a small detour towards this private seating area and definitely heard John's soft angelic voice. He really did have a lovely voice. She didn't know what they were talking about but Selma had thought maybe John, Sam, and Joss were sitting alone, wanting to not be interrupted but she couldn't help but surprise them with a quick hello. And instead she found this: John and Joss locked in a hot kiss if she ever saw one. She stared at them as John cradled Joss's face in a gentle hand while the other was in her hair as he deepened the kiss. She felt like she was intruding on a real couple on their honeymoon; rather than John and Sam. She never saw them kiss like that, well, to be fair, she had never seen John and Sam kiss at all. Selma pulled the curtain noiselessly closed as one of them moaned, having gotten enough of them playing tonsil hockey before rushing away, her mind in a whirl. What was she going to do?

John moaned as he broke the kiss to settle his mouth on Joss's neck. She sighed. "Five more days," she panted as she looked behind John's head and shuddered as his tongue found that spot that had wetness pouring out of her. His tongue was so damn soft, warm, and smooth. His hands slid down and cupped her breasts, which wasn't the same with her dress in the way but her nipples were erect so when raked his thumbs over her them it sent spikes of pleasure through her body down to her wet center. Her body responded to his with barely a touch as it was, right now she felt like she roasting from the inside out.

"What?" he whispered raggedly as he slid his left hand down her flat stomach and rested it on her thigh. He loved her skin.

She swallowed hard trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. "Five more days until Maddie can have her daddy, five more days until I can have you. I ache for you, John," she whimpered as she rested her forehead against his. "I've ached for you for nearly five years."

He nuzzled her nose with his. "I ache for you too, Joss," he whispered. And while he couldn't find any relief, Joss could. He pressed a kiss to her lips, distracting her with his mouth as he slid his hand up her thigh under her dress. She gasped and he swallowed it as he found her panties. He shuddered as he felt them wet as he brushed over her.

Joss pushed free of the kiss. "What are you doing?" she managed, squirming to stop his amorous hand from getting inside her panties; they were in a public place.

John stared into her eyes. "I know it's not the same but it's all I can give you for now," he whispered thickly as he forced her up and tugged her panties down her legs, they fell to the floor without any resistance from her which was appalling because she didn't do this. She wasn't adventurous; they weren't behind a door for god's sake, it was just a damn curtain. But she didn't resist when he tugged her to sit on his lap, leaning her back against his chest and her knee bumped the leg of the table. She gasped but not from pain in her knee but from the fact that her butt was nestled against the thick erection that had her hips undulating to rub against him, loving the sexy grunt that escaped him. John's mouth nibbled, licked, and sucked at her neck and earlobe as he parted her thighs, teasingly brushing the inside of her thigh sliding up and down, not touching her where she needed him most. She arched her back as her hips rotated as his hand teased her.

"Lift your leg, put your foot on the couch," he instructed, raspy with need, as his tongue licked her neck, making her moan low in her throat. She did as he wanted and she realized lifting her leg up onto the couch, putting her foot on the couch spread her for him and his hand stopped teasing as his hand moved up and he buried his middle finger deep inside her. His other hand tweaked and pinched her nipple through her bra and dress.

Joss bit her lip to keep from crying out as he inserted a second finger into her while his palm purposely rubbed her clitoris in time with his inward strokes of his fingers, until her hips thrust up needing more of that glorious friction. Her legs spread for him further as she twisted her head to catch his mouth needing him to muffle her because the orgasm was building already and she knew she'd want to scream his name just from sheer ecstasy that he was touching her after all this time.

His touch was so damn electric, sizzling and sparking her body alive, and she reached down with her hand and rested her hand on his. He pulled free of the kiss to whisper, "I want you to fuck yourself, Joss," as he stopped moving his hand and she pushed on his hand to make him move but realized he meant it.

Joss laid her head against his shoulder as she began moving her hips back and forth; loving his hardness resting against her ass and the fingers buried in her pussy. She pushed his palm down firmly into her clit as she sped up her hips to grind against his palm to have his fingers mimic his dick that she desperately wanted. In and out, in an out, but his cock would be bigger and longer, also thicker stretching her so she could feel stuffed full of him. She desperately wanted him inside her and coming and…

Joss climaxed as her hips jerked up, stiffening, and she held his wrist against her tightly keeping his fingers buried up to his knuckles inside her. He had turned her head to muffle her cry of his name with his mouth. When she rode out the last tremor of her orgasm he ended the kiss and she opened her eyes. Her body quivered as she melted against John's chest and she felt oddly satisfied yet unsatisfied as well. What they just did, what he just did to her, and what he had her do was so damn sexy but it wasn't enough. While John's touch was much better than her own, she wanted his mouth on her and his cock buried deep in her. She wanted to feel him come inside her, coat her insides with his seed, to have her mouth on him feeling him strain in her mouth. She didn't want to sneak around like this. His touch only made her crave him more and now the five days would be that much harder to get through; knowing it was still intense between them.

Several moments ticked by before she slowly lifted off him with knees that felt like they were made of rubber and she stared at him. The orgasm did nothing to quench her desire for John, the jerk made it worse as he sucked on his fingers that had been buried inside her and was moaning like her taste rivaled any dessert he'd ever eaten and she knew he was a chocolate fiend like her. Her eyes fell to his groin seeing the glorious and large erection just waiting for her and when she was nestled against him she had felt him throbbing in need.

After he licked every last morsel of her off his fingers he licked his lips and then gulped the wine down with force and shuddered. "How about those Yankees, think they'll be good this year?" he said gruffly, sounding pained.

Joss blinked. "What?" she demanded. Her body was still humming from what they just did and she kind of wanted to talk about them some more, like where did they go from here after this cruise? Or how quickly they could find a bed and make love for real? They had a lot of talking to do and he wanted to talk about baseball?

"If we don't talk about baseball or something equally dull to kill my erection, I'm going to fuck you right here, right now, and to hell with the possibility of someone hearing us," he vowed. "So Joss; how about those Yankees?"


AN: Poor John must suffer. Next Chapter:

Ch 14: U Can't Touch This

BOOM! That's right a MC Hammer reference and I actually youtubed it and am listening to it right now, though mine has a completely different meaning lol XD Thanks for reading!