Disclaimer: I do not own Jane or Kurt or Blindspot. Writing about them is simply the outlet for my obsession.

She climbed into the seat of the Ferris Wheel, feeling it shift slightly as she sat down. Sliding herself across the bench, she found that the seat was rather large, and as Kurt climbed in next to her, it appeared that they could also have fit Sarah and Sawyer in there with them – though she was glad they were alone, of course. After her last burst of emotions had caught her off guard – as most of them seemed to do – she felt a little bit embarrassed. She knew that it was silly, because Kurt was the last person she should feel self-conscious around.

Still, as he slid across the bench towards her, she couldn't help but glance at him shyly. Luckily, the warmth of his smile was enough to make her forget any doubts she might have had. He looked directly into her eyes, and suddenly she remembered why she'd felt like it would be alright somehow. It was the effect he always had on her, somehow.

The uncertain look in her eyes as he slid across the bench toward her somehow just made him want to move more quickly towards her. He knew that he could make that look go away, and that the closer he was, the more successful he'd be. The bench was far more than big enough for them, but that didn't stop him from moving as close to her as he could, extending his arm along the rail behind her, as he'd done before. When she leaned against him, his right hand dropped to her right shoulder so that he could pull her closer to him still.

The car jolted suddenly, startling her, and she jerked forward, trying to find something to grab onto. Her right hand grasped the edge of the seat beside her, and her left landed on his right knee. She looked even more surprised that he did, and he felt her grip quickly loosen as her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. Before she had a chance to pull her hand back, however, he covered it with his. Meanwhile, the car had slowly begun moving backwards, jerking slightly again as it stopped to let the occupants of the next car out, and new ones get onboard.

Jane had watched the motion of the cars while they'd waited for their turn to get on, so in theory, she had known what it was going to do. Still, it came as a surprise when it had actually moved with them inside. The next few times it started and stopped, she still found herself startled. His right hand had already been on her shoulder, and she felt a reassuring squeeze each time she jumped. Bringing her legs up and folding them up on her right side, so that the backs of her sandals faced the back of the bench, she leaned further into Kurt than before.

Her heart was still beating what felt like a million beats a minute, and he could feel it as she leaned against him. Turning her left hand over in his, he supported it with four gentle fingertips, while tracing his thumb along the back, brushing across the lines of the honeycomb pattern but not following them that time. Her tattoos were a constant reminder of everything she had been through – everything they had been through, even – and just then he felt a twinge of guilt.

That's certainly different from how you felt a year ago, he thought, remembering.

Never in a million years, after everything that had happened to him and the years that he'd tortured himself over Taylor, had he thought that he would end up here. He'd felt too broken for anything as pure as the way he felt about Jane. And yet, despite how impossible it was, it had happened.

The price seemed unreasonably high, however. An entire life – hers – just… gone. Not that he was complaining, of course. It was the fact that he hadn't been the one to pay that price, despite havingfaced his own ocean of suffering, that made him feel so selfish, so guilty. Never mind that he hadn't done it, that he'd actually been a victim of the situation that had brought them together. Never mind that the woman who had been lost in the process had chosen that fate. Never mind the fact that had she not done so, Jane would never have been there with him. He knew this like he knew the facts of his own past.

No, he was glad that they had both ended up where they had. Still, he felt that the cost to her had been so much higher than it had to him. He had merely been the one to benefit from her loss. And then, after all that, she had saved him – from himself.

She sat there, telling herself that despite how it felt, this was not a dream. That he was holding onto her tightly with one hand, holding her hand with the other, and that all of it was real. It was too good to be true, and yet it was true. The longer she sat there, feeling the soothing movement of his thumb on the back of her hand, the more she slowly began to relax again.

How many times have you had to talk yourself down today? she asked herself. She didn't know, but really, it wasn't important. The car jolted again, and they moved a little more as, somewhere on another part of the wheel that they couldn't see, another car filled with people.

They sat like that for a little while, until he could feel her calming down. Then, as the car jolted once again a few minutes later, he slipped his left hand out from under hers again, setting her hand gently on his leg, where the material of his now dry bathing suit met his skin just above his knee, and he began to trace the lines of ink that wound up her left arm.

This seemed to be his new favorite thing to do, she couldn't help but think from how many times he'd done it that day, and she had to admit that she was a rather big fan of it herself. Who knew that these tattoos would be good for something, she thought to herself with a smile. At that moment, it felt like an advantage that her skin was covered in ink. They were on the back side of the Ferris Wheel at the moment, and though they were closer to the top than the bottom, they still didn't have much of a view beyond what they could see from trying to look in between the cars and the mechanisms of the inside of the ride itself. Therefore, this was a more than adequate distraction for the time being. Or for any time, really.

He watched her as best he could from over her shoulder as his fingers wound up her arm, tracing the lines of ink that were so familiar from photographs, and yet still so completely new to his fingers. Never before had he felt so fascinated by another person. It wasn't the tattoos that drew him in, though he found that he had trouble leaving them alone when given the option. They were fascinating to him because they were on her, plain and simple.

Finally, after jolting upwards a few feet at a time, they finally reached the top. The view over the ocean was breathtaking, and Jane sat up slightly to take it in. Kurt smiled at her sudden amazement. He hadn't seen this particular view before, of course, but he had been on Ferris Wheels in other places, and he'd had an idea that it would be spectacular – which it was. A section of her hair had fallen beside her left cheek, and he reached up and pushed it back behind her ear, letting his fingers drop to her left shoulder, where he simply rested his hand as they looked out at the water in front of them.

For a second, she turned and looked at him, and the smile on her face felt like a reward for something he hadn't done. After all, this entire weekend was a reward, a gift, and seeing her that happy? He didn't know how he'd gotten so lucky.

"It's so beautiful," she said as they jolted slightly forward and down several feet once again, as yet more people offloaded the remaining cars and others got in. She leaned forward to look at the view, putting her feet back down on the floor in front of her.

"It is," he agreed simply, taking advantage of the fact that she was leaning forward, and moving his right hand back and forth across the middle of her back. This car was like their own little private vacation within a vacation. He was picturing the tattoos that he knew lay beneath the fabric of her shirt – it seemed inappropriate when he thought about the fact that that was what he was doing, and yet, he'd seen them more than once that day, in person, out in public... So many shapes, numbers and letters, pictures… his name, of course, not least of all. It was the thing that had brought her to him, and despite the circumstances of his name having been put there, when he saw it on her skin now… somehow that one tattoo made the whole thing seem more… real. Not that she'd been marked as his. No, somehow it just seemed like, in some twisted way, all this had been meant to be.

The glittering water was slightly mesmerizing, enough that she actually leaned forward to get a better view of it, shifting herself slightly away from Kurt, though still within his reach. She felt his hand moving across her back, and thought how different his fingers felt against her t-shirt than they did against her skin.

Staring out toward the horizon, she could see no end to the ocean, and somehow it amazed her that some things could seem endless and yet, still have defined end points elsewhere, far enough away that they could simply not be seen. Of course, she knew very well that the shore on the other side was there, and simply much, much farther than a person could hope to see.

"It looks like it goes on forever," she said, staring toward the horizon. He smiled at the wonder in her voice, sure that he would never get tired of watching her discover things for the first time.

She turned back towards him, wanting to say something. Upon looking in his eyes, however, she felt the words erase themselves from her mind, seeing only him and nothing else. The car jolted slightly once again, and she turned to look back out to the ocean, her reverie broken. They were almost back down to the ground again. "Do we get off when we get back to the bottom?" she asked curiously.

"Nope," he replied, bringing his hand up to her neck, where he could make contact with bare skin, and rubbing it gently. "That's when we start going around without all this stopping. It took this long to unload the people from the last ride and load new people in. Now the ride can actually start."

It was funny to her to think that the ride hadn't even started yet, but it made sense. Every car had to be unloaded and loaded again individually, and that took a while.

It's been going on for quite a while and yet, hasn't even really started yet. It just took a long time to be ready to start. She heard the words echo somewhere in the back of her mind, and it reminded her of the two of them.

"Are you having fun so far?" he asked, even though he knew very well what the answer was.

Looking back at him over her left shoulder, she smiled a sly smile and replied, "As if you have to ask." Shaking her head, she sat back against him again. His right hand dropped back to her right shoulder again, and she added, "This is literally my favorite weekend… ever." It would've sounded like an exaggeration from anyone else, but from her it was simply a statement of fact.

"And it's not even really the weekend yet," he said, winking at her when she turned her head slightly to look up at him. "There's still a whole weekend left."

Her smile widened. "Lucky me," she said, trying to keep from letting her smile take over her face completely, but failing.

"Lucky us," he corrected her. "This just may be my favorite weekend ever, too." He winked at her, his smile dazzling as only Kurt Weller's could be.

"Wow," she said, glancing back and forth from him to the water and back again, not sure where she wanted to look. "That's saying a lot more than when I say it."

"Not really," he said offhandedly, shrugging slightly. His face grew serious then, and he added quietly, "There wasn't much in my life before that I want to remember." He didn't need to specify what he meant by before. It was the same before that she sometimes talked about when she referred to the time before she'd been Jane. The time she couldn't remember.

It was funny, because she'd wanted so badly to remember, and then once she'd started, she wasn't so sure anymore. The pieces that had come back to her in less than two years, both through memories and what she'd been told, had been shocking. Looking back, the main thing her past had shown her that she was lucky to be where she was now. She'd learned things about herself that to this day seemed impossible... or that she wished were impossible.

Kurt, on the other hand, remembered everything, and yet seemed like he would have been just as happy to forget. Happier, even, maybe, if he didn't have to remember his past.

We always want what we can't have, she thought.

Whether he remembered his past or not, it didn't matter as much anymore as it had a few years ago. Before. With Jane, for the first time the painful memories of the past had dimmed to the point that they didn't overshadow everything he did, as they had all his life. He no longer had to actively work to block them out. Nothing could erase them, of course, or any of the fallout of the past few years, but at least the past could finally fade into the background. The thing that mattered now, for the first time, was the present.

His traumatic past did him one favor, he supposed, in a small, twisted way, because now he was acutely aware of how very lucky he was to be in exactly the spot where he was. On that Ferris Wheel bench beside Jane.

She sat back then, turning as she'd done on the loveseat earlier, so that she was leaning against his chest, feeling his arms wrap around her once again. There were so many times when she felt like she was about to shatter into a million pieces and only his strength held her together. At that moment, however, it felt like the opposite. This was one of those rare times where she sensed that she was holding him together.

He'd already put his arms around her, and now she grasped his hands tightly, pulling his arms even more tightly around her, as if there was some chance that he was going to let go – which, of course there wasn't. She surprised herself then, pulling his right hand to her lips, and kissing the back of it. While a very 'Kurt' thing to do, she hadn't been so bold for the most part… not in a long time. But somehow, at that moment, it just felt like the right thing to do.

He leaned his face into her hair, inhaling the slightly sweet scent. He'd meant what he'd said, of course. Before Jane, there hadn't been much in his life – nothing good, anyway – mainly just the emotional aftermath of Taylor's disappearance that had followed him since the age of ten. It hadn't stopped when he had met Jane, of course, though it had eased for a while when they'd thought she was Taylor. The first year he'd known her had been an emotional roller coaster, ending with upheaval – to put it very nicely – that would have broken most people by itself, much less combined with the complications of their lives. Thankfully, they'd somehow moved past it all, slowly but surely – the lies, the torture, Sandstorm… all of it, and now… here they were. Somehow, they'd suddenly arrived at something he'd never thought that he'd find.

Happiness.

The ride continued to turn slowly as they watched ships bound in and out of the port at Norfolk move slowly in the distance, the sun glittering on the water and the horizon stretching out forever in front of them. Jane couldn't help but wonder if that was somehow a representation of the future. The past remained mostly a mystery from which she gotten nearly all the information that she needed or wanted. Looking back farther than that night in Times Square was of little use to her. Indeed, even looking back that far –with the exception of those moments when it was just herself and Kurt – was full of enough emotional pitfalls that she tried not to do it. Right now, the future was far more interesting to her than the past. It was almost – but not quite – as interesting to her as the present, where she sat on a Ferris Wheel with Kurt, both of them holding on tightly to each other.

Eventually, the ride slowed to a jerking halt. They were on the front side of the wheel, looking out at the ocean. The sudden stillness combined with the noise of people first piling out of the car several below them, on the ground, and then a new group of people piling in, told them that their ride was almost over. She felt him shift just a little, seeming to pull his arms a little tighter around her.

"This was a good idea," she told him, not specifying what she was talking about.

"What?" he asked. "The trip to the beach?"

"Well, that too, obviously…" she replied, turning around to look at him with a smirk, "but I meant the Ferris Wheel." He chuckled, having guessed that that was what she was talking about.

As the car jerked forward slowly several more times, unloading the cars between theirs and the ground and then filling them with new passengers, Jane and Kurt sat quietly, trying to drink in the moment and the beauty of their surroundings, leaning into each other. Far too soon, of course, it was time to surrender their seats on the bench to the next set of passengers. Kurt climbed out first, holding out his hand to Jane as she climbed out after him, and keeping it in his once she was on the ground once more.

"Let's go find Sarah and Sawyer," he suggested, to which she nodded. They had promised him that they would catch up with them again, after all. "I wonder if he's made himself sick yet." Jane looked at him questioningly. "Some people have the stomach for fast rides and big roller coasters, and some don't. From the way that kid talked, you'd think he was a roller coaster pro," he continued, "but I'll never forget the day a few years ago when he threw up on me after going on just one roller coaster at Coney Island." Jane laughed at the image, even though it sounded like it had been anything but funny.

"Maybe his stomach has gotten stronger by now," she replied as they wandered through the crowds. It wasn't a large park, and it didn't take them too long before they spotted Sarah and Sawyer coming down the ramp from one of the rides that didn't go very high, but appeared to move very fast, whipping the riders in circles while also going side to side.

"Jane! Uncle Kurt!" Sawyer called, walking just slightly at an angle.

"Hey buddy," Kurt called. They stood outside the gates of the ride, waiting for them to make their way out.

"There you are," Sarah said with a grimace. "Good, you can go on some rides with him. I need a break."

"Sure, no problem," Kurt agreed. Sawyer was on cloud nine at the prospect of riding the rides with his uncle. "I'll just go get some tickets." With that, he moved toward the nearby ticket booth. Jane's hand was still clasped in his, and since neither of them made any attempt to change that, she went along with him. They waited behind several other people, and Jane watched as he struggled to take money out of his small pocket with one hand.

"You can have your other hand back if you need it, you know," she told him.

"Not necessary," he assured her, managing to free his money from his pocket, despite the fact that it hadn't looked easy. She chuckled at him, thinking that he liked to call her stubborn, but he was exactly that as well. Not that she was complaining about him wanting to hold her hand, of course. The line moved up and so did they, finally reaching the window and buying enough tickets to last them a little while – or at least it sounded that way to Jane. Really, she had no idea how many tickets they would need.

That taken care of, they steered back over to Sawyer and Sarah, where Sarah was keeping her excited son in check, and was now sipping something out of a green cup through a striped straw. She smiled when they approached, her eyes going once again to their joined hands, and then back to them. "So, what are you guys going to do first?" she asked, looking relieved that it was her turn to rest.

"I don't know," Kurt replied, then looked at Sawyer. "What are we going to go on first?" Sawyer, suddenly understanding that it was all up to him, looked around excitedly.

"This one!" he exclaimed, pointing back at the one he and Sarah had only just come off of a few minutes before. "It's my favorite." At that moment, the ride whirred to life, now filled with a new group of people, and they could see exactly what they were in for. Jane studied it carefully, watching the way it constantly changed direction, and wondered how exactly that would feel once she was inside.

"Are you up for it?" Kurt asked, elbowing her gently.

"Absolutely," she replied. She wanted to try as many of the rides as she could… assuming they didn't make her sick, of course.

"Then let's go get in line!" Kurt exclaimed, mirroring Sawyer's excitement, and tugging Jane along with him.

"Have fun, guys," Sarah called from the gate around the ride, watching them happily.

The ride, as it turned out, was exactly as Jane had expected it to be from watching it. She was a little dizzy when it finished, though she didn't feel like throwing up, for which she was grateful. As the safety bars that had sat across their laps released and the riders crowded out of their respective cars, Jane sat still, trying to regain her equilibrium.

"You okay?" Kurt asked, looking down at her from where he stood beside the car. She nodded, a little too quickly, and felt it in her head, quickly closing her eyes against the sensation of spinning.

"Yeah," she replied, forcing her eyes open and pushing herself to stand up. "I'm fine." As she climbed out of the ride, however, she almost landed on the ground, despite the fact that Kurt was holding one of her hands.

"Easy," he said as she stumbled, luckily landing against him and not the pavement. The three of them walked slowly out of the gates that surrounded the ride, Sawyer bouncing along in front, Jane and Kurt behind, his arm around her waist for support.

"Uncle Kurt, can we go on the giant slide next?" Sawyer asked excitedly.

"Yeah, but just a second. Okay?" he asked his nephew. Then, turning to Jane, he said, "I think you should sit for a minute." She looked at him defiantly, a look he recognized all too well, and knew that he was probably going to lose this argument.

"I'm fine," she told him. "By the time we get to the front of the line, I'll be ready to go."

"And if you're not?" he asked her.

"Then I'll walk back down," she said confidently. Not that she had any intention of doing that, of course.

He eyed her suspiciously, unable to imagine her backing down, no matter how she felt. Knowing this wasn't a battle he would win if he chose to fight her on it, he just shrugged.

"If you say so," he shrugged, watching her carefully.

They had to walk single file up the stairs to the top of the very tall Fun slide, which was nearly as tall as the Ferris Wheel. At the top, while getting themselves situated on slides beside each other, Jane couldn't help but notice just how high they were. She'd been up that high in the Ferris Wheel, of course, but now that she was facing the prospect of propelling herself full speed toward the ground… well, the view looked a little different from here.

She thought back to the time she and Kurt had played around on a neighborhood playground near her safe house a few times, though it had been quite a while ago now. She remembered that the slide had been fun. Despite the height, which was a little daunting, she was excited about the prospect of a giant slide. And then, before she had time to think any more about it, she heard both of the boys counting down.

"3…2….1… GO!"

There was no more time to be nervous. They all pushed off together, flying down the track, wind rushing around them as they raced toward the ground. By then Jane had forgotten about being dizzy, and was enjoying the sensation of almost flying. At the bottom, Kurt was somehow already standing up when Jane became aware that she'd come to a halt, and she looked up to see him hold his hand out to her. She took it with a smile, allowing him to help her up.

They continued making their way through the park, Sawyer leading them, Kurt acquiescing to his nephew's desire to ride "every single ride" in the park – which, it turned out, did not include the Ferris Wheel. "It's just too slow. That's so boring!" Sawyer had said adamantly. Jane followed along with them, determined to keep up.

Finally, about an hour later, they had ridden every ride in the park, and a few of their favorites twice. He'd spent quite a bit on tickets – Kurt wasn't actually sure how much, nor did he try to calculate it. He probably didn't want to know, anyway. By that point he felt like he'd had enough rides, and considering that they'd been on all of them at least once, with the exception of the few made for kids, it seemed reasonable to stop. As much fun as they'd been having, he didn't think Jane would object.

Sarah was, as she had been each time, waiting for them outside the gate of the giant roller coaster, called the Skycoaster, when they emerged.

"What'd you think, Jane?" she asked.

"Now I know what the fuss is all about," she replied, her cheeks flushed – in a different way than Sarah had seen them flushed so far that weekend, because of Kurt.

While Sawyer walked over to his mom to tell her all about the roller coaster – the biggest one I think I've ever been on, he told her excitedly – Kurt came to stand in front of Jane. "You want to go and check out the games, and then maybe go back out to the beach?" he asked quietly. She smiled, because it sounded perfect.

"Sure," she agreed, looking back up into his eyes and for just a second, feeling a little dizzy. This time, however, it was a different, more enjoyable kind of dizziness than she had felt after that first ride. Turning back toward Sarah and Sawyer, he waited a minute until the boy was forced to take a breath, still going on about the SkyCoaster.

"Hey, Sarah," Kurt interjected. "We're going to walk around for a bit, maybe go back down to the beach… how about we meet up with you two after that?" he asked.

"Sure," she agreed. "What time?"

"Well," he said, "It's…" he took out his phone to find out the time. "3:30 now… So how about we'll meet back up with you at 5:00 down by the sign for 25th Street on the boardwalk, and we can do something for dinner?"

Sarah nodded agreeably. "Sure, that sounds good," she said. "Call me if you need anything."

"Will do," he said. Jane waved at the two with her free hand.

"See you guys later," she called over her shoulder as Sarah and Sawyer waved back.

They strolled leisurely toward the corner of the park where the games were grouped together, Kurt's arm draped over Jane's shoulders once again, her arm back around his waist. First they walked the length of the game area to see it all, then doubled back and walked even more slowly, considering whether they wanted to play any of them. They weren't anything that Kurt hadn't seen before at other amusement parks, with most of the same standard prizes.

"Oh, look at that!" Jane exclaimed, as they walked by one of the booths. She was pointing at a wall of prizes, and Kurt wondered which one had caught her eye.

They stopped in front of the stand in question, and she swore she felt him pull her just a little bit closer. Chuckling, he asked, "Which one?"

"The zebra," she replied. The zebra stared back at them, about eighteen inches tall and covered in clear, sparkly sequins, its black stripes more of a dark gray than black. Kurt had to admit that it was one of the cuter prizes they'd seen. Jane seemed mesmerized by it, staring at it long enough that it was clear that she wanted it.

"So, which one of us is going to win that thing?" he asked. "Because I think we both know you don't need anyone to win a prize for you."

"Oh, is that usually how it's done?" she asked, turning to look at him curiously. "The guy is supposed to win a prize for the girl?"

That was the way he'd always understood it, of course, but when Jane said it, it sounded ridiculous. He swallowed, grinning, and nodded. "Traditionally, that was how it happened sometimes… Of course, it's not a rule or anything."

She smiled, her eyes full of laughter that she held onto, for the moment. "Well, why don't we both play, and just see how it goes?" she suggested.

As far as Kurt was concerned, this sounded like the best course of action, all things considered. Realizing that they hadn't given a single thought to what the game actually was that they had to win to get any of the prizes, including that sequined zebra, he now focused on the board in front of them, and the teenager who was running it.

"We're in luck," he said, leaning down toward Jane's ear – not because what he was saying was a secret, just because he felt like leaning closer to her. "To win these prizes, you just have be good at throwing darts." This was something that, unsurprisingly, they were both very good at. They'd played darts with the team more than once at a local bar back in New York.

"Perfect," she replied, stepping forward eagerly as he handed a ticket to the timid teenager behind the counter. Kurt chuckled to himself as he let go of her, noticing that she suddenly seemed unaware of his presence, already completely focused on her objective before she even had a dart in her hand. He hoped that the teenager running the game was ready to be impressed, because Jane was frighteningly good at this.

As expected, Jane hit all six darts directly at the target, the later ones actually knocking the earlier ones out of place. The young man looked stunned, and he just stood there for a few seconds, staring at her. "Wow," he said in awe when he could finally speak. "I've never seen anyone do that well before."

"Okay, Weller, you're up," Jane called over her shoulder, a look of satisfaction on her face. "Think you can match that?"

"Well, I'll certainly try," he replied, giving the boy – Eric, his nametag said when Kurt stepped up close enough to notice – another ticket and stepping up the counter as Jane stepped aside. A few minutes later, Eric once again had the familiar look of shock on his face. Kurt had done just as well as Jane.

"Who are you guys?" Eric whispered loudly, over the music blaring through the air.

"FBI," Kurt replied seriously. "Good aim is a requirement."

Eric just shook his head, obviously impressed. "Oh!" he exclaimed, suddenly remembering part of his job, "What prizes do you guys want? Because you both won." Kurt looked at Jane with a smile.

"So, what do you want?" he asked her. "I bet I know."

She grinned. "Definitely the zebra," Jane told Eric, who took it down and handed it across the counter.

"What else?" the boy asked.

"What do you want, Weller?" Jane asked him. But Kurt just shook his head.

"Choose another one," he told her. "They're both for you. You won one for yourself, and I won you one. Best of both worlds." She rolled her eyes with a smile. Why did it not surprise her?

"Are you sure?" she asked him, standing in front of him holding her new zebra and taking a step closer to him. He put his hands on her shoulders and quickly turned her back around to face the wall of prizes, letting his hands remain where they were and bending down to speak in her ear. Again, not for any particular reason other than… he wanted to.

"Just choose something," he whispered, moving his left hand to the base of her neck. She got chills from the contact with the skin of her neck, and she smiled at the prize board.

Looking at the selection, she finally settled on a light green turtle, about the same size as the zebra, also covered with clear sequins. "It's like these animals are going to a party or something," she mused, looking at them as they walked away from the stand.

Kurt just chuckled at her. For the millionth time, he found his smile threaten to crack his face wide open. She was simply too much, in the best possible way. Their hands found each other's then, fingers automatically intertwining. Suddenly, she felt worn out from their busy day. "Do you want to go sit on the beach?" he asked, as if reading her mind.

"That sounds perfect," she replied. They made their way back out of the fun park, back to the boardwalk and down to the sand, taking off their sandals once again and carrying them as they walked slowly through the loose, dry sand. No longer annoyed with the difficulty of walking in it, Jane was now actually enjoying its warmth, the absence of which she noticed when they reached the more tightly packed sand. It was amazing how different it felt under her feet.

The beach was crowded now, since it was closer to 4:00, and the weekend seemed to be well underway. They walked for a while, close enough to the water that it splashed over their feet once in a while, when the waves rolling in were big enough. They came to a section of the beach that, somewhat miraculously, was less crowded, and Jane suddenly came to a stop. "This is it," she announced.

Kurt looked at her curiously. "This is what?" he asked.

"This is the perfect spot," she replied.

"Right here?" he asked, looking around. "You know we'll get wet if we sit here, right? Don't you want to be a little farther that way?" He pointed toward the boardwalk.

"Oh, well… yes," she replied. "But not too much." They turned and walked up to the line in the sand formed by the water at the highest it had come up recently. Jane planted herself about two feet past that line, dug her toes into the sand and set her animals down in her lap. She leaned back, anchoring herself on her outstretched hands behind her, her arms straight. "Perfect," she declared.

He sat down beside her, chuckling at how absolutely certain she was that it was the perfect spot, sitting close beside her so that their shoulders touched. Almost as soon as they did, she leaned her head against his shoulder, and his head fell against hers. "We must look disgustingly cute," she observed without moving. Kurt chuckled to himself. She wasn't wrong, it just seemed funny to actually be aware of it.

"Is that a problem?" he asked in amusement.

"Absolutely not," she replied quickly. "I'm just making an observation. There's nowhere I'd rather be right now." He turned his head to the side so that he could kiss the top of hers.

"Me either," he replied, turning his face back toward the water and leaning against her once again. They sat and watched the waves as they came up closer and closer to where they were sitting, their toes only narrowly avoiding being splashed. Finally, after nine or ten close calls, the water not only licked at their toes, but continued straight on past them, soaking Jane's shorts. She squealed slightly, grasping at the two stuffed animals in her lap for fear that they'd fall off and get wet, as Kurt jumped up, not wanting the water to touch the items in his pockets, mainly his phone.

As the water receded, Jane couldn't stop laughing. Standing above her, neither could Kurt. He extended a hand to help her up, and then took the two stuffed animals from her as she brushed the sand off her hands. Then, feeling self-conscious, she slid her shorts off. Her choices, after all, were to either wear wet shorts or take them off and let them dry.

"I want to go on record as saying that I asked you if you were sure you wanted to sit this close to the water," he said as she tried to shake the wet sand out of her shorts, with very little success. "You chose this spot."

"I remember," she said slowly, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. "So?" Then, without waiting for him to answer, she looked down at her very exposed legs. Narrowing her eyes at him, she slapped him playfully on the arm. "Shut up!" she cried, trying not to laugh.

"Once again, I didn't say anything!" he replied with a twinkle in his eyes. After they grinned at each other for a moment, he leaned down toward her ear, which now seemed to have become a habit, and said, "Not that I'm complaining." She slapped him on the arm again, feeling her cheeks turn what must have been a deep pink.

"Shall we move a little farther back away from the water now?" he asked. "Or do you want to go somewhere else besides the beach?"

Despite their unexpected run-in with the wave, she had no desire to go anywhere else just yet. After all, that was the point of their trip, and it was her first time at the beach. It was still almost magical, even if she was a little soggy. "We don't have to go yet, unless you want to," she replied. "But we should probably move back a bit, so we don't have to worry about getting splashed again." He nodded in agreement, and she realized that he was still holding the stuffed animals. "Do you want me to take those guys back?" she asked, pointing at them.

"I've got 'em for now," he assured her, holding them under one arm. She chuckled, thinking that it was really, really cute to see Kurt with two sequined stuffed toys under his arm. She wanted to move closer to him just for that, but they were still walking in the sand, which made it difficult.

They picked a spot further back toward the boardwalk, where the crowd was thinner just because they were farther from the water, but still not too far back, and stopped. Jane appeared to be thinking about the best way to sit in the sand, first kneeling, since her wet bathing suit would quickly be covered in very sticky sand if she sat any other way, but giving up almost immediately when she discovered that it just wasn't very comfortable. Kurt waited until she was done fidgeting and was sitting down just as she had been before, then he sat down beside her, just as close to her as he had been. He put the zebra down in her lap, letting the turtle sit in his. She grinned at the sight, each of them with a stuffed animal on their laps on the beach. It looked a little bit ridiculous.

"Now I understand why people bring bags when they go to the beach," she said, trying not to laugh.

"Hey, the turtle and I are having a very nice time over here," he said defensively. "Don't make fun of us."

She laughed quietly, covering her mouth with one hand to attempt to hide a yawn.

"Tired?" he asked, as if it wasn't obvious. It had been a short – though cozy – night of sleep and a long – though extremely enjoyable – day of fun. Of course she was tired. Having given up on the whole "not ending up covered in sand" thing, having decided that she as at the beach and it was going to happen anyway, she leaned straight back so that she was laying in the sand, staring up at the blue sky. The sun had moved behind the hotels behind them along the boardwalk, so the light wasn't nearly as intense as it had been earlier, though it was far from dark outside.

"I give up," she said, turning her head slightly to look up at him. "I tried not to end up covered in sand, but, well… it was inevitable. I'm not fighting it anymore."

He chuckled, looking down at her and unable to stop a smile from creeping across his face. It was one of those moments where everything – how he felt about her – seemed crystal clear.

"What?" she asked, noticing the change in his expression.

Even if he'd thought that it was a good idea – which he didn't – he was pretty sure the words wouldn't have come out.

Not a good idea? his mind demanded. Because… You're going to wait until the end of time?

We've been here, together like this, for less than a day, the other voice in his head protested.

You've felt it for nearly two years, the voice reminded him. You just didn't recognize it.

But words weren't his strong suit, no matter how well he'd been doing that day, or how much better he could express himself around Jane than other people. No, it wasn't the right time for that.

So instead of telling her what had made him smile at her in the first place, he settled for something else that was also true that also came to his mind just then, which was also quite complimentary. He had a feeling he knew what her reaction would be, too… but he said it anyway.

"You…" he felt himself blushing slightly, and he shook his head, looking down, before looking back at her shyly. He knew she probably wouldn't believe him. That much he expected. What surprised him was his own reaction to the two words, one of which he hadn't even yet managed to say. Despite feeling flustered, he managed to get them out – albeit in a whisper. "You're beautiful," he said simply.

He felt the color fill his own face at the same rate that he watched it fill hers, and for a second, they both glanced away before their eyes met again.

It can't possibly surprise you that that's what he thinks, can it? her mind asked. You've seen the way he has looked at you all this time… Still, suspecting it and hearing it were two completely different things. Her mind simply didn't know how to process it.

He lowered himself to the sand, laying on his right side, facing her, his head supported against his hand with his elbow anchored in the sand.

"You know that, right?" he added quietly as a look of uncertainty seemed to pass over her face.

Her smile faltered, and she glanced away, inhaling sharply and trying to keep her breathing steady. He was looking at her with so much sincerity, and he was so much closer now…

You know it, Jane, the quiet voice in her head echoed. So why did she suddenly feel so… desperate?

For literally as long as she could remember, her appearance had been something she had tried not to focus on. After all, being covered in tattoos had been completely out of her control. The parts of her that weren't about the tattoos? No matter how hard she tried to make herself comfortable in the skin she'd been given – or, given herself, as it were – the tattoos always seemed to overshadow everything else. Between her looks and all of her hidden skills, she'd worked hard not to think of herself as some sort of freak, no matter what a valuable asset the FBI considered her to be.

She knew that she was extraordinarily talented in many ways, but she also knew that most things about her made her completely unlike any 'normal' person. And the way she was stared at for her tattoos – no matter how good she got at ignoring it – especially there on the beach… well, it was hard enough to just focus on not feeling like a mutant super soldier, never mind thinking positive things about herself.

She didn't remember anyone ever telling her she was beautiful before, come to think of it. Who would have, and when? No, she was sure she didn't have any memory of that.

So a few seconds later, when she felt tears prick the far corners of her eyes as gravity tried to pull them towards the ground, she was caught off guard by the swell of emotions she felt. It didn't make sense.

That was a compliment, stupid, she told herself. You're not supposed to cry.

Shut up, she told herself. I'm not crying.

Oh really? the voice said doubtfully. So those tears in your eyes are just… a coincidence?

Her eyes closed involuntarily as the ache in her chest intensified. You have to get out of your head, she told herself. You're thinking way too hard about this.

Something was happening in her head, he could see, and as he watched her carefully, trying to figure out what it was, he watched her go from happy to flustered to… what? Was she upset? But why?

"Hey," he whispered, the sound of the waves and the beach fading into nothing around them. With his free hand, he reached up and wiped the two stray tears from the sides of her face, one trailing down each temple towards the ground, against her will, as she opened her eyes and stared up at the sky. She couldn't look at him, only straight ahead. "What's wrong?" she heard him ask.

She just shook her head, closing her eyes again as she felt her heart rate accelerate. Don't panic, she told herself. Breathe. There's nothing to be upset about. Literally… nothing. He said something nice, for God's sake! Still, she took shallow breaths, willing herself to calm down but not quite succeeding.

He watched her with concern, trying to figure out what had happened in between when he had told her that she was beautiful and her sudden tears. All of a sudden, like understanding often did when it came to Jane, the answer to his own question hit him. She's never been told that before. It seemed impossible, but when he thought back, it was the most likely explanation. After all, she spent a hell of a lot of time being stared at, and not in a complimentary way. He was pretty much positive that he'd never said it to her before, for which he could've kicked himself, but given the nature of their relationship…

How had he not thought of this before? How had he not said it before? After all, he'd always been mesmerized by her, and he'd always thought she was beautiful.

But she can't read your mind, he reminded himself. And working together… it wasn't exactly the most appropriate thing to say.

As he so often did, he reached for her hand without giving it a second thought.

Her thoughts were racing, and she couldn't settle on thinking about one thing, either positive or negative, for more than a second. It was beginning to make her dizzy, and this time not the good kind of dizzy, despite the fact that she was already lying down. She had the urge that she'd felt so often in the past, to just disappear, but this time she fought it.

That's when she felt his left hand clasp around her left hand. Then, when he had a grip on it, he moved it slowly toward her other side to also gather the fingers of her right hand in his, squeezing slightly. She inhaled slowly, attempting once again to calm herself. His touch had always helped steady her, and this time was no exception.

Finally, after a long few minutes, she looked slowly back up at him, seeing the look of concern in his eyes. She wanted to tell him she was fine, because she wanted to believe that she was fine, but the truth was, somehow the bottom had fallen out of her stomach and even now, she felt like she was falling, despite the fact that she was laying firmly with her back in the sand, her hands in his.

No, she wasn't fine. She wasn't going to be fine. All of the doubts that she had about herself, about what would happen after that weekend, all of her doubts about anything flooded her then, and, if it was possible, she felt even worse than she had a minute before. Her breathing became shallower and faster. Her eyes searched desperately but all she could do was shake her head ever so slightly.

"Okay, come on, sit up," he told her, tugging at both her arms as he sat up himself as well. She complied reluctantly, wishing she could curl up into a ball, though she wasn't sure why whatever was happening was even happening inside her head. She'd been deliriously happy, and then suddenly… She did her best to do as he was directing her to, knowing that while she couldn't trust her own judgement at that moment she could, without a doubt, trust his.

With some effort, she found herself upright. He had let go of her hands at some point, and he put both her zebra and her turtle in her lap. She clutched them to her, feeling like a child – or, what she imagined it felt like to be a child, since she didn't actually remember – but not caring very much at that moment. He was no longer beside her, which she didn't like, and she wondered what in the world he was doing. However, she didn't turn to try to find him, simply stared out at the water, suddenly feeling like she was all alone in the world. The noise in her head was too loud to let her focus on anything else.

He moved around her until he sat behind her, adjusting his position in the sand, one knee in the air on either side of her. Leaning forward, he put one hand on each of her shoulders and squeezed gently. He knew from experience that it would've worked better if she hadn't still been wearing her t-shirt – and couldn't help but smile for a second because that seemed like an awfully intimate thing to know about one of his coworkers – but the fact was that he'd rubbed sunblock on her back and shoulders multiple times that day, so he actually had a rather innocent reason for this knowledge. Still, something was better than nothing, and he continued to press his fingers into her shoulders slowly, running his thumbs up and down her bare neck as he reached the center.

Slowly, the tension in her was loosening, he noticed. He'd thought maybe she'd listen to him better if she didn't have the added pressure of feeling him staring at her. Not because she'd given him any indication that she didn't like him looking at her, just because he had a feeling that it might be easier to process what he wanted to say without it. After all, he figured, there they were on the beach, and most people found the view of the ocean calming. It was worth a shot.

"Just listen, okay?" he asked, leaning forward over her right shoulder. She just nodded, leaning her head against his. He found that to be encouraging, and tried his best to keep his head still while still moving his hands. "I know… that nothing has been easy for you." He felt her breath hitch in her chest slightly, and he leaned forward into her just a little more in response. "And I know that that's a gross oversimplification." She nodded at that, her movement so small that had he not been as close to her as he was, he would likely have missed it. His hands were still rubbing her back, slowly and gently, and he felt her gradually relaxing.

"I also know," he continued slowly, "that you have no idea how amazing you are." He felt her tense again slightly and he shook his head sadly. Despite the fact that he'd said it, he still couldn't believe that it was possible that Jane didn't know this. "And obviously you don't hear it nearly often enough."

An ache squeezed at her heart. And who would tell me that? she wondered. It wasn't as though she had a family – Shepard and Roman had been the closest to that, and… well, it had been them or her team. It hadn't been easy, but she had never second guessed her choice since then. It wasn't as if she had any friends outside of her team either. No, she had her team. Patterson, Zapata, Reade… and of course, Kurt. She loved them all, and she knew that they cared about her, but… that kind of thing? It just wasn't the way they related to each other.

"I forget, sometimes," he continued quietly, "that you don't know how amazing you are. Because it's so obvious to the rest of us." He stopped, watching her look down at the sand. "To me."

She swallowed hard, wondering how it was possible to feel both so happy and so empty at the same time. Because one of the few things you do remember is what it's like to feel like he cares for you, and then to watch it all fall apart, something from the back of her mind told her. That was what had happened the previous year, after all. It's scary to think of it happening again.

Kurt had paused to let him words sink in, but now he was talking again, his hands still in constant motion, working their way down her back and back up again, never stopping even when he was silent. "There are so many different ways that a person can be beautiful," he said tentatively, feeling her tense up again a little. "The way they act towards other people, the way their minds work… it's so much more than just the way they look… it's all a part of it. And then there's people who are beautiful in every way." He paused for a second, now wishing he could see her reaction. "You are one of those people, Jane."

He heard her scoff quietly in what he assumed was disbelief, and he turned to try to see her face from where he sat, slightly behind her, ending up looking hard at her profile. "I told you, no more lies, remember?" She nodded, staring at the ocean. She could feel him staring at her, but couldn't bring herself to look at him in return. "Face it," he said, trying to keep his tone serious and yet light, "I'm telling the truth. You're beautiful, and you're just going to have to deal with it."

She smiled then, almost against her will. Somehow, he'd gotten through to her, the way he always managed to. It was a mysterious combination of exactly the right words, and yet having absolutely nothing to do with the words he was saying. Somehow, it worked. Finally, she felt herself relax, leaning against him instead of trying to sit stiffly upright on her own. He stopped rubbing her back and yet again, pulled his arms around her tightly. He would've done it a thousand times if that was what it took.

They sat that way for a while, watching the water quietly, perfectly content. "What time is it, anyway?" Jane asked, breaking the silence finally. Kurt shifted so that he could take his phone out of his pocket.

"Almost 5:00," he replied, clasping his hands together in front of her once again, where they'd been before he'd moved to get his phone.

"I guess we should go and meet up with Sarah," Jane said reluctantly, though she really didn't like to even think about moving from the spot where they were.

"I could text her and tell her we're not going to make it," he suggested, not any more excited about the idea of moving than she was. "I'm sure she'd understand."

Jane smiled at the thought of having more of this moment alone with Kurt. "I like the way you think," she told him.

"Of course, we will eventually have to move," he told her. "At some point we'll need to eat, probably sooner than later…" She was leaning her cheek against his, and he could feel the muscles in her face pull into a smile.

"But not now?" she asked. "Because I like the sound of not having to move right now."

"We can afford to stay here a while longer," he told her. "Just let me text Sarah and let her know not to wait for us." He freed his hands once again, scooting alongside of her on the right so that they could lean against each other while he typed his message. Her head fell against his shoulder, which was becoming almost second nature when she was beside him. When he'd sent the text, without saying anything, he picked up her right hand in his left, and once again began tracing the honeycombs on her skin with his right.

She smiled up at him, and he met her eyes, feeling a little self-conscious. "Sorry," he said, "it's kind of become a habit, I guess."

"I'm certainly not going to stop you," she replied, her smile giving away how happy she felt just then as she looked down at the ink on the back of her hand. She was used to what she saw, of course, and couldn't remember a time when it hadn't been there… but still, she had always felt that it made her different… and not in a good way. Especially since she'd found out about the circumstances under which it had all happened.

At that moment, however, somehow something finally clicked in her head. See, the voice said, he really does think you're beautiful. Looking up at him in surprise then, she found him watching her intently. Suddenly, it was as if his words were finally able to sink in, and she blushed.

Once again, he couldn't be sure what was going on in her head, but somehow the shift in her mood he detected then seemed to be for the better. Something had made sense to her, it appeared.

She was such a paradox. So strong and yet so fragile, all at once.

They sat like that as the afternoon slowly faded into evening. Soon, they would need dinner. But as the air cooled down from the stifling heat of the day and the light slowly faded as the sun fell behind the tall hotel buildings behind them, there was something just perfect about where they were, her hand in his.