neruchan94: I hope your feels meter has repaired while I was working on this chapter. CAUTION: I'm not positive, but it might break again, so I apologize if it does.
Zirin went back to the master bedroom where the others were. She found that Vonna and Pashi were awake on the floor while Shiki was asleep with her head on Vonna's lap and Fenang and Tanni were asleep on the bed. She quietly closed the door to not disturb the sleeping 3 and joined Vonna and Pashi on the floor.
"Has Azula gone?" Pashi asked. Zirin nodded silently, finding it hard to believe that she had left and that that hug might be the last hug she'd receive from Azula. She was pulled out of the thought when Vonna said to Pashi "Guess it's time to put your knowledge of boats to good use darling."
Zirin put her hand on Pashi's shoulder before she could get up "No, we're waiting another half hour before going to Hira'a."
"How come?" Pashi asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I've asked Azula to reconsider coming with us rather than staying here. If she doesn't return in half an hour, then we leave."
Vonna sighed "Great, more ghastly waiting." Pashi just ignored her protest to the idea while Zirin couldn't help herself "You seriously think of waiting as ghastly?"
"You would if you saw it from my perspective darling."
Zirin sighed knowing she wouldn't be able to win with Vonna. Pashi then asked "So besides asking her to come with us, did you and Azula talk about anything else?"
Zirin hesitated for a bit as she was unsure about telling them. Though they were all on the same side and it wasn't like she was being interrogated by those annoyingly calm doctor's in the asylum. She decided to tell them the truth like she had done with Azula "Actually yeah, I told Azula the real reason I was committed to the asylum."
Pashi and Vonna looked to Zirin. She expected them to react similar to how Azula had done, but it felt more awkward with more than one person. Vonna then asked "You weren't put in that loony house because mummy and daddy didn't love you standing out from 8 other brats in their house?"
Zirin ignored her and was about to say the real reason, but Pashi interrupted her by finding the rare nerve to ask Vonna "What is wrong with you?"
Vonna just looked as if she couldn't hear them and scratched the shaved half of her head. Zirin continued when Pashi looked at her "Ex-Fire lord Ozai had his nephew Prince Lu Ten killed by earthbender bounty hunters during the 600 day siege of Ba Sing Se; and in the struggle, my uncle and aunt were killed with him. My father retired from the navy so he could help raise his twin brother's children. Ozai thought that people might find out he hired the bounty hunters so he could become Firelord, so he conspired with former Admiral Zhao to frame my father for the murder; in return, Ozai promoted Zhao from Lieutenant to Captain. When my father refused arrest, Zhao and his men killed him, my entire family, but they didn't kill me; I was a scapegoat for them. They pinned the murders on me and had me committed because I was in denial of the murders."
Pashi's face showed shock and concern "So you were never even crazy in the first place."
"No, but I thought I was because I didn't seem to feel anything until my sister was killed."
Vonna shifted her gaze to Shiki's peaceful sleeping face when she spoke after hearing this tragedy "That's horrible; I'm sorry for your loss."
Zirin and Pashi were both surprised by this reaction;Vonna hadn't even said darling and sounded full of remorse. Zirin sensed the 2 girls along with the 3 who were asleep had more in common than they thought and told the 2 girls another truth "When I told Azula the real reason for being in the asylum, I actually felt at peace for the first time ever since that tragic night."
"What are trying to say darling?" Vonna asked having now gone back to shutting Zirin and others out.
Zirin sucked it in and said "I'm trying to say... I think we all have more in common than we think." She looked to both girls; Vonna was going to great lengths to be distracted by Shiki sleeping on her lap such as stroking her lightly on her shoulder while Pashi just looked away as if afraid of what she was going to say next. Zirin continued "I think we all told the truth about our home life, but we all lied about why we were committed... And I also think that like me, you'd be able to make peace with it if you talked about it."
Vonna covered Shiki's ears with her cupped palms before scoffing at this suggestion "That's nonsense darling... you're starting to sound like those absurdly annoying doctors."
"I... guess that's true in a way, but this is different; we won't be confessing to complete strangers who'll note downwhat we say and do while discussing our issues, it would just be between us." Zirin said trying to reason with Vonna's gift of backfire in conversation. Seeing no avail with Vonna, Zirin thought her attempts were futile, until she heard Pashi's voice saying "You're right about me."
Zirin and Vonna turned to Pashi. Her eyes were looking downwards as she continued her confession "I really am from a fishing family in Jang Hui, I really did gain an expertise on all different kinds of boats including ones that weren't made by the Fire Nation... but I wasn't committed after having a breakdown when my parents died in a boating accident that I caused."
"So... what is the real reason?; at least, if you're okay talking about it with us." Zirin said cautiously; she was eager to learn the truth like with Azula, as was Vonna, but if it was a personal tragedy, both girls could understand not wanting to talk to anyone let alone lie in the first place. But Pashi soldiered through her feelings and looked to Zirin as she spoke the truth "My reason is kind of like your reason Zirin."
After letting that sink in, Pashi then confessed "The main difference however, is no one was killed so Commander Chan could become Admiral Chan... my parents just think I was killed."
6 years ago:
Pashi was 19 and steering the ship to the docks of Jang Hui, which had been her home ever since she was born. She had been steering for a couple of days now and was heading to Jang Hui as it was the closest landpoint in the sea until they made it to near where an earth kingdom ships were located that protected Ba Sing Se and they had run out of food supplies. After exiting the ship, she began walking to where her parents worked with her helmet underneath her arm until she stopped when she saw Dock. Or Xu or Bushi; he had at least 3 personas inside him and he claimed the other 2 were his brothers. Like the rest of Jang Hui's citizens, she went along with it as she greeted him "Hello Dock."
He smiled at her greeting "Hello Pashi." Pashi had known him since she was little. He was the employer of her parents and had also given Pashi boat steering lessons as she had always enjoyed being on the water. She felt that she owed her entire career to him and actually didn't mind his split personalities . She saw her parents struggling with the nets of fish they had caught and said to Dock "I'm not going to be here long Dock; could you say hello to Xu and Bushi for me?"
"Of course I can!" he said with joy and then quickly jogged off to most likely change into his Xu and Bushi hats. Pashi's father was a thin tanned man with his brown hair in a short pony tail and also had a thin moustache. Her mother was also thin, but had pale skin and darker brown hair than her husband. As her father walked away to get another net, Pashi came up to her mother "Hi mother."
"Ah!" was what came out of her startled mother as she and the net of fish almost fell into the water, but both of which were grabbed and pulled up by her daughter. After catching her breath, the woman said "Agni Pashi, I swear you're more quieter than a Two-headed Rat Viper."
Pashi couldn't help but smile and giggle "My apologies mother." She heard her name being called by her father, who gave her a hug along with her mum.
"How is your new career as steering Commander Chan's lead ship?" he asked.
Before she could delve into that, Dock rushed up to them in his Xu hat and said "Hello Pashi! It's me, Xu! Dock said I would find you here, but I almost didn't believe him. You know how craaazy he can be!"
Pashi's parents couldn't understand how their daughter could put up with the split personalities, but they didn't discourage on that as she hugged him "It's good to see you after all this time Xu... I'm happy to see you as well as Dock, but it's a shame I won't get to say hello to Bushi."
"But of course you'll get to say hello to him!" he announced before taking off his Xu hat and putting on his Bushi hat "Hello, it's me! Bushi!"
Pashi giggled in her head "Well who else would you be; Xu or Dock?"
"Ha! Exactly, how mad is that?" Bushi said pulling Pashi into a hug while her parents couldn't understand how he did it. After he left, she turned back to her parents to answer her father's question "To answer your question father, it's... not so bad; I would probably like it more if my opinion mattered on the ship." Pashi said thinking of her new job. Commander Chan was in charge of a division in the fire nation's eastern fleet and Pashi new job was steering his lead ship. But despite her impeccable knowledge of all kinds of boats, no one allowed her to share her opinion when discussing battle tactics.
Her mother shook her head sideways in agreement with her daughter "I think all those big muscly men are afraid that a 19 year old girl like yourself could easily take over."
"I could not agree with you more mother." Pashi sighed "Hopefully, I'll be transferred to a different ship; and hopefully it'll be one with at least one other girl on the ship."
"Well on the bright side, at least with your boat-steering career, you smell more like the ocean than..." she held up a bunch of one-headed and two-headed fish she had picked up from the net"... fish."
Pashi smiled; that was indeed one thing she didn't miss while sailing the open waters. She assisted her parents with the fishing until it was time for her to depart. She said her goodbyes and made her way to the control room and grabbed the wheel ready to set sail. However, she sniffed something in the air and recognised it from growing up in Jang Hui; a storm was coming from the same direction they were heading to and if she was correct, it will be a very bad one. As she pondered on what to do next, Commander Chan came in and up to her and demanded to know "Why haven't we set off yet?"
"Sir, I don't think we'll need to; there's a bad storm that's going to occur in Ba Sing Se's direction."
The Commander looked out to what appeared to be clear blue skies for miles with not even a little trace of grey clouds. He turned back to her and asked "What could possibly make you think that there's going to be a storm on a perfectly good day like this?"
"The smell of thunderclouds in the air." Pashi stated as if it was the most normal thing to say. Chan raised an eyebrow and then overly inhaled before saying "Then your nose is as deluded as your mind; I can't smell anything."
"That's because you didn't live in Jang Hui like I did; I can tell if there's going to be a storm and where it will come from."
"There IS NO STORM coming." Chan said looking down to her face. "Now get this ship moving or we'll miss out on an opportunity to take the patrol by surprise."
"They'll already be taken by surprise by the storm that is without a doubt, definetely going to happen." Pashi argued back. She knew she was right about a coming storm; she had been so far. When growing up in Jang Hui, she could tell when storms were coming by involuntarily smelling changes in the air and wind and also knew how bad they would be and if it would be safe to go out fishing. She wasn't about to let the Commander's arrogance force her to steer a ship into certain doom for everyone onboard. But her plans changed when he said "Everyone on this ship is willing to die for their nation if it means we'll be able to take out Ba Sing Se's water patrol; everyone but you apparantly. We're going and we're not changing our plans because of your ridiculous theory." Pashi could see that she wouldn't be able to change the Commander's mind and that probably meant the rest of the crew wouldn't listen to her either. Perhaps she couldn't save them, but she could save herself. She knew there were others on the ship who could steer it if she left. And if she was correct, the storm would be strong enough to wipe out this entire crew including Commander Chan and then she would be transferred to another boat. So, she stepped back and glared at him while placing her helmet down "Then my apologies commander, but you'll have to find someone else to steer this ship into a suicide trap... because I won't."
She turned around and started walking away, planning to go back to her parents and tell them about the storm as well as being somewhere warm and cosy when the storm hit, but the only thing that hit Pashi was her own helmet on the back of her head that caused her to black out.
"After Chan knocked me out, I woke up in the asylum and he told me how he stole my suggestion of waiting til the storm passed and because of that, he was promoted to Admiral after taking out the shorter fleet when the storm passed." Pashi said coming to near the end of her story, her voice first full of anger and vengance. "I don't know how he did it, but Chan somehow convinced the staff at the asylum that I had a breakdown after witnessing my parents die on a boat that I was steering."
"Why didn't you say anything to the staff about Chan and how he deceived them darling?" Vonna asked not getting how Pashi could've been stuck in that nuthouse and the doctors not think she was crazy for 6 years. Pashi was now looking down at her crossed legs as she said "Because he threatened my parents."
Vonna and Zirin continued to feel the shock run through their veins. Vonna had now stood up cradling Shiki in her arms and was placing her in between Fenang and Tanni who were as still as a pane glass window. Vonna decided to remain standing near the bed while Pashi looked to Zirin and explained herself "Chan told me to go through with an insanity plea and the story he had concocted or he'd kill my parents. It's why I didn't say anything sooner." Zirin saw that Pashi was finding it harder to continue speaking about her past, so she finshed her sentence for her.
"Because you feared he'd find out about your escape and have your parents killed."
"Yes." Pashi said after a deep sigh. Her expression then hardened when she said "If he's hurt them, he'll regret it." Zirin saw the hate in Pashi's eyes and it almost scared her; she swore for a split second that her eyes had fire in them. Zirin then said "I'm guessing... Chan went back to Jang Hui and told them you were killed in the attack."
Pashi now looked as if she was about to cry, but she pushed through her pain and said "That's exactly what he did; so they wouldn't come looking for me... and it worked." Her voice began to grow a small croak in it with the last 3 words she said. An idea came to Zirin's head "You know Pashi, if you want, we could go to Jang Hui so you could see your parents." Pashi shook her head "No... I don't think I could face them after everything I've been through; not to mention what we did tonight."
Zirin was surprised at her response of not wanting to go other than her being right about them kidnapping around a dozen children, but they weren't harmed and were all currently home now and Zirin believed Pashi was still gripped bythe fear of what Chan would do to her family, so tried to reason with her the same way Pashi had tried to reason with Chan all those years ago; hopefully, Zirin's attempts would neither be in vain nor result with her being hit on the back of her head "Pashi, if I could see my parents, my siblings and my cousins again for even a small moment and they knew what I had done tonight, I would do so. Nobody wants to believe their family is gone forever. And no parent wants to believe their child is gone. If they saw you after all this time, they'd be so happy. I mean, what parent wouldn't be so happy to see a child who they thought was dead?"
Sobbing interrupted Zirin, but it wasn't coming from Pashi; the two turned to see Vonna sobbing with her hands over her mouth that slowly moved to cover her entire face as she shook down to her knees and cried. Despite her efforts to be quiet, her crying had awakened Shiki, Tanni and Fenang. Tanni was the first to ask in a sleepy voice "What's going on?"
Vonna left the room as quickly as she could. Pashi went after her while Zirin stayed behind wondering if something she had said had set Vonna off; her thoughts made her deaf to Tanni asking her what had happened. She finally regained her hearing when Fenang shook her shoulder lightly, who was then pushed away by Shiki who repeated Tanni's question "What happened?"
Zirin was at a loss for words. She felt guilt building in her throat and it clogged her ability to speak until she could only think of 3 words to say to the girls "I don't know."
While drama unfolded on the ship that she had left in the care of her sisters, Azula had stopped on her journey to the palace as she had spotted Mai's new boyfriend Ko Lei or Ke Lio or something riduculous sounding. She wondered not only what could Mai possibly see in that patsy, but why he wasn't with Mai and decided to let her curiousity take over and followed him.
Notes about this chapter in case you missed them:
Commander Chan who later becomes Admiral Chan is the father of Chan from the episode "The Beach"
Pashi's past happens before the factory was put in near the village of Jang Hui in the episode "The Painted Lady"
